Secret Passages
by MantaI-305Apollo'sChariot
Summary: When sixteen-year-old Elsa is told about the secret passages throughout the castle, she uses them as an escape from her room.
1. Happy Birthday, Elsa?

**A/N: Thank you for clicking on my story!:) If anyone is particularly concerned about it, this will stay in canon, but end on a happy note. So...yeah.:) Also, I'll probably update this story a little more sporadically than my other one; not because I don't have more ready to publish, but because I have to figure out where to split the chapters.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Frozen characters, obviously.**

Sixteen-year-old Elsa sat in the window seat in her room, gazing out the window. _My eighth birthday without Anna. Years and years of this room, all because of one accident. All because of my stupid ability…or disability, if I listen to Mom and Dad._ She looked down at her gloved hands in distaste. Just then, a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. It wasn't Anna's usual rhythmic knock, so it was probably her parents. Elsa sighed and slowly walked over to the door, waiting for whoever it was to identify themselves.

"Elsa? It's your parents," King Agdar said.

Elsa unlocked her door and promptly headed for the opposite side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

King Agdar and Queen Idun came in, looking far too cheery in Elsa's opinion. "Since it's your sixteenth birthday, we thought you might have anything you want in honor of the occasion," Idun said.

_Anything?_ "I want to see Anna," Elsa mumbled softly.

"What did you say?" Idun asked.

"I want to see Anna," Elsa repeated, a bit louder this time. "She could stay out in the hall even, and I'll stay way over here by the window. It's been so long…I just want to talk to her…"

"Now, Elsa, you know we cannot do that," Agdar said. "It's too dangerous. Isn't there anything else you would like?"

"I haven't frozen a single thing in almost a week. I'm trying to conceal it, but it's just so _hard_!" Elsa sighed. _What did I expect would happen? Of course they were going to say no…it's probably just as well, I suppose. What if I lost control in front of Anna?_ "I suppose I would like some new books and more paper for drawing blueprints?" One of Elsa's favorite pastimes was drawing up blueprints for imaginary buildings. She had a large collection of blueprints she'd drawn up in her desk, all different and unique.

Idun frowned. "What kind of birthday presents are those? You can just have those things anytime."

"Since I can't see Anna, those are the only things I want," Elsa said flatly. "May I please be excused?" (This was a rather illogical question, as this was already Elsa's room, but she was hoping her parents would get the message and leave her alone.)

"Well, we have one thing to share with you, even if you don't want it," Agdar replied.

Elsa looked at her father expectantly but said nothing.

"This is something that you are to tell no one. It is a secret known only by the royal family."

_Who do you think I'm going to tell alone in my room? My reflection in the mirror? The one person I would possibly blab to I'm not even allowed to talk to._ "I can keep a secret," Elsa answered, struggling to maintain control.

"We know you can keep a secret," Idun said, trying to reassure Elsa. "The secret is this: there are secret passages throughout the castle for escape purposes, sieges, and other things of that sort. Now that you are sixteen, you're old enough to know."

Elsa listened with interest. Secret passages were something new. _If no one but my parents and me know about them, maybe I can use them to get out of this room sometimes, even if I'm still alone all the time._

"Here are the plans for the passages," Agdar said, crossing the room to give the plans to Elsa.

"Don't come any closer!" Elsa's voice sounded panicky. _Too close…too close. _She could feel the ice threatening to slip out unbidden. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa took a deep breath and said, "Could you just leave it on the desk? Please?"

Agdar sighed and set the plans on the desk. "They're on the desk, Elsa. Once you have memorized the plans, burn them. Don't keep them."

"I won't. May I _please_ be excused now?"

"Elsa, I…" Agdar began to say something, but Idun laid a hand on his shoulder and lightly shook her head.

Elsa gave her mother a grateful look before her parents left the room. The instant they were gone and the door shut, Elsa ran to lock it. Meetings with her parents always felt tense even when she was temporarily in control; Elsa always felt on edge, as if she might do something wrong any moment. And she didn't like being around people-she might hurt them, which she knew was the reason she wasn't allowed to see Anna. Elsa sat down at her desk and began to peruse the plans to the secret passages. _There's an entrance to one of them right here in my room! I can explore the passages without actually leaving my room!_ Before thinking any further whether this was a good idea or not, she pulled the comfy chair out of the corner and consulted the plans to see how to open the passage's entrance. _Let's see…it says there's an irregularity in the molding that you press simultaneously with the bottom of the wall directly below it._ Elsa struggled to find the tiny irregularity with her gloved fingers. _Stupid things, I can't even get my fingers to work right,_ she thought. _Maybe if I take them off just for a minute, it would be all right…_ She slipped the glove off her right hand and just stared at her pale skin for a moment. _I haven't seen that part of me in ages. Well, back to the original mission-find that irregularity!_ Elsa's bare fingers quickly located the irregularity and she opened the secret door, revealing the dark passage beyond. She slipped her glove back on and went to find a candle and matches. Then she crawled into the passage, bringing the plans with her as a map. A couple feet into the passage, the ceiling rose high enough for her to stand up. Elsa felt as if she were going on an adventure in her own home. Using the plans as a guide, she went through a series of twists and turns, down a long staircase, crawled down a long tunnel; and once the ceiling grew taller again, a few more turns, ending at the secret entrance into the passages that was behind the throne in the Great Hall. She debated for a few minutes whether to open the secret entrance, but immediately decided against it when she heard her parents' voices. Elsa couldn't hear everything distinctly, but it was enough to give her a clear picture of what they were talking about.

"…seriously consider a betrothal for Elsa," she heard her father say. "We have already…several proposals from…"

"…only sixteen. Elsa isn't… Also, what about…problem?" she heard her mother reply.

"Surely…way to cure her…come of age…five years…"

Elsa suddenly didn't want to hear this conversation anymore. She'd heard too much already. _I don't want to be betrothed to anyone! I can't! I'm too young, and there's still the ice problem. If there were a way to 'fix' me, they would have found it by now. There is no way to get rid of it-I'm stuck with it! And why is it all right to betroth me to someone I don't even know when I'm not even allowed to talk to Anna? That doesn't even make sense!_ As Elsa's thoughts raced, ice began to spread under her feet. Elsa backed right into the side of the secret passage and fell with a thud, extinguishing her candle. _There goes my six-day record of not freezing anything. _She struggled to find another match in the pitch dark. Elsa heard her parents saying something about where that thud had come from. _Oh no. I'm going to be in big trouble if they find me here._ Finally, Elsa was able to relight the candle, and she rushed back to her room as fast as she could. When she arrived back in her room, she quickly shut the secret entrance and pushed the comfy chair back in front of it. Then Elsa studied the rest of the plans, putting them to memory. Just as she decided that she was ready to dispose of the plans, she heard another knock on her door. This wasn't Anna's knock either, and her parents were still in the Great Hall as far as she knew, so it had to be Gerda. No one else would be knocking on Elsa's door.

Elsa shoved the plans into the back of her desk and went to the door. "Hello, Gerda," she said through the door.

"How did you know it was me, Princess Elsa?" Gerda asked from the other side of the door.

"Deductive reasoning."

"Please open the door; I've brought you a special birthday lunch."

Elsa unlocked the door and retreated to the opposite side of the room. "It's open."

Gerda came in and set Elsa's lunch on the desk, knowing Elsa didn't want anyone near her. "Happy birthday, Princess Elsa."

_Icky birthday is more like it. _Elsa shook her head with irritation at herself. _Mom and Dad would be really mad if they knew I was coming up with…not-so-nice thoughts like that._

"Are you doing ok?" Gerda asked.

"I suppose…I lost my six-day record this morning, though," Elsa said, knowing Gerda was referring to her powers. Gerda was one of the only people who knew about it besides Elsa herself and her parents.

"Well, six days is good! Maybe you can make it to seven this time," Gerda said.

_It won't matter. I still won't be allowed to see Anna._ "Maybe," Elsa replied dejectedly. "Thank you for lunch, Gerda."

Gerda knew Elsa wanted her to leave, so she did, shutting the door behind her.

Elsa pulled the plans back out and burned them to ashes before sitting down to eat her lunch. Those plans were thoroughly etched into her memory now.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on her door. "Elsa? I know you're in there. Are you listening?" Anna asked.<p>

_Yes,_ Elsa thought. _I'm listening, Anna._ Part of Elsa loved hearing Anna's voice, as it was the only contact she had with her sister, even if it was one-sided; but another part of her hated it since it just reminded her of being unable to spend any time with or communicate with Anna.

"Well, whether you're listening or not, I'll just talk anyway. I slid down the banister today and I might have kinda sorta busted one of those suits of armor at the bottom of the stairs. It was funny but it made a big mess! It took forever to figure out how it went back together again."

Elsa smiled on the other side of the door.

"Are you having cake for lunch, Elsa? You should be 'cause it's your birthday. Oh, yeah, by the way, happy birthday, Elsa! What presents did you get? I miss you. Can't I see you just for today since it's your birthday?"

_No, you can't. I already asked._ Elsa's eyes filled with tears. _Stop it, Elsa! Get a grip on yourself. Don't feel, don't feel._ "Please go away, Anna."

Anna was disappointed for a moment at Elsa's reply, but then thought, _She actually said something today! Even if it was just to tell me to go away._ Maybe Anna could get Elsa to at least talk to her through the door. "No, I'm not going away! I know you're listening, Elsa." Anna had a sudden idea. Maybe Elsa's door was just shut, not locked, and she could just come in whether Elsa invited her or not. "I'm coming in, Elsa!"

Elsa frowned. That door was locked…wasn't it? A second too late, Elsa realized she hadn't locked the door after Gerda had left earlier. Anna eagerly barged in, and Elsa backed against the far wall, hands clasped to her chest. "Anna…please, you have to go."

"You don't look sick." Anna stared at Elsa. "Or dangerous." _Elsa grew up…a lot. She looks pretty. And depressed. And scared._

"Wh-wh-where did you get those ideas about me?" Elsa asked. Anna moved closer to her. "Don't touch me! Stay away!"

"Our parents," Anna said, stopping in the center of the room. "They told me you were sick, and that you weren't safe to be around."

"Well, they're half right. I'm not sick, but it's _not_ safe for you to be around me. Anna, please go!" Elsa was unaware of the decreasing temperature in the room. "And I'm going to be in big trouble if our parents find out I let you in here," she added in a whisper.

Anna narrowed her eyes at her sister. Elsa was trying to be impassive, but her blue eyes betrayed her true sad and scared feelings. Anna suddenly realized it was downright cold in Elsa's room. She shivered. "Is it just me, or is it getting kinda cold in here? And Elsa, why would you get in trouble? I just barged in; you didn't let me in."

Elsa's eyes grew wide. _I must have messed with the temperature again._ "Anna, please, you have to go! _Please._"

Anna sensed the urgency in Elsa's voice. "Ok, but I'm coming back. I'm never, ever giving up on you!"

The moment Anna was out the door, Elsa dashed to lock it, leaving an icy trail wherever she walked. _I'm going to be in so much trouble for that. How could I forget to lock the door?! _

"Elsa?" Anna said from the other side of the door. "I don't know what the problem is, but I'm going to try to fix it for you."

_You can't fix it, Anna. Nobody can._

"I'm going to talk to our parents at dinner tonight. This is the dumbest situation ever, and it's not fair! Why did they lie to me and say you were sick anyway?" Anna sounded mad now.

_No, Anna, don't do that! It won't change anything. And they said that because they couldn't very well say, 'Oh, your sister blasted you in the head with ice when you were five, so she's dangerous.' _Elsa's melancholy thoughts made the temperature drop even lower in her room.

"Elsa? Why is there a really cold draft coming from under your door?" Anna stuck her fingers under Elsa's door.

_Oh, no. _Elsa curled up in a ball on her bed just to get herself off the floor. Hopefully Anna wouldn't be able to touch the icy streaks all over the floor.

"By the way, I'm so glad I got to see you even if we didn't have a real conversation. Oh, bother, I have to go. Mom's calling me to do lessons. Bye, Elsa!"

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _Bye, Anna._

* * *

><p>That evening at dinner in the dining hall, Anna decided to talk to their parents, like she'd told Elsa she would. "So, Mom, Dad, I've got something to talk to you about."<p>

"You always have something to talk about, Anna," Idun told her, smiling. "What is it this time?"

"It's Elsa."

Agdar and Idun exchanged glances. "What about Elsa?" Agdar asked.

"Elsa's not sick. Why did you tell me she was sick? And I don't believe she's dangerous, either! She's my sister, for goodness sakes. What Elsa _did_ look like was sad and scared. She shouldn't feel like that, especially on her birthday. Why can't we spend time together anymore?"

"What makes you suddenly think she's not sick?" Idun asked.

"She told me so! I went in her room earlier-and before you say anything, Elsa did NOT let me in! I just barged in myself," Anna said, remembering how Elsa had told her she'd get in trouble for letting Anna in.

"The door wasn't locked?" Idun asked.

"Weell…noo…And it was really cold in Elsa's room. Which is really weird 'cause it's summertime! Anyway, you ought to put a heater or something in there for Elsa-she's going to get cold," Anna said.

"Do not go in your sister's room again, Anna," Agdar said sternly, not addressing Anna's comments about the temperature in Elsa's room. "It's not safe, no matter what you might think."

"I don't care! I want to actually spend time with and talk to Elsa again! And I don't believe you OR Elsa when you all say it's not safe for me to be around her! It's _stupid_! You act like you think Elsa has some contagious disease or something! She wouldn't even let me near her. She kept saying, 'Go away! Don't touch me!' and stuff like that. This is RIDICULOUS! Elsa's terrified for some reason, and I WANT TO KNOW WHY!" Anna's voice rose in pitch and volume until she was shouting.

"That is not acceptable dinner behavior, Anna. Stop shouting. Go upstairs to your room right now," Agdar told her.

"Oh, fine, so you can lock ME in MY room, just like you do to Elsa! She doesn't even come down for dinner anymore, not even on her birthday!" Anna shoved her chair away from the table and stomped upstairs. "THIS IS NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR!" Anna marked each word with a vicious stomp up the stairs. She stopped in front of Elsa's door and banged on it.

Elsa jumped in surprise. That was most definitely not Anna's knock, but she knew it had to be Anna because she'd been able to hear a little of the dining hall argument, Anna had been shouting so loud. _I'm so going to get it for this. I wish Anna hadn't said anything at all._

"Elsa! I TRIED, but they wouldn't LISTEN! It's not FAIR! It's not; it's NOT! They wouldn't tell me ANYTHING! You're NOT dangerous, I just know it!"

Elsa flinched with Anna's each shouted word. _Anna, please stop. You're only going to make it worse._ Elsa couldn't take it anymore; she ran into her bathroom and shut that door to block out some of the noise.

Anna continued her rant, "And they LIED to me! You're not sick!"

Elsa sat crying in the bathroom. _Go away, Anna. Stop yelling; you'll just get us both in worse trouble. _

A minute later, Elsa heard Anna's incessant shouting stop. _I bet our parents came upstairs._ Elsa left the bathroom and went back into her actual room, ice following her footsteps. A sharp rap on her door and an "Elsa there's something we need to discuss" confirmed her suspicions. Elsa wiped the tears off her face and unlocked the door. "The door is unlocked," she said in her best indifferent voice as she headed to the opposite side of the room.

"What is going on with you and Anna today?" Agdar asked the moment he and Idun came in. "I said earlier it was too dangerous for you two to be together. Yet Anna comes to dinner and starts shouting about things, and saying we lied to her. You were not supposed to let Anna in here."

_Well, you DID lie to her. I'm not sick… I knew this was going to happen. Anna's right; this isn't fair. I might be dangerous, but I could talk to her through the door._ Suddenly Elsa felt something she hadn't felt in a long, long while. She was angry. "I didn't let Anna in," she said. "Anna came in herself."

"Why wasn't the door locked?"

"I forgot to lock it after Gerda brought my lunch earlier. And to be quite honest, I'm _not_ sick. Why did you tell Anna that anyway?"

"Queens-to-be cannot afford to be forgetful! You're sixteen, Elsa. That's old enough to take responsibility for your actions. And look at this room-there are icy streaks and puddles all over it. This is why you cannot see Anna! Do we have to change the locks so that they're on the outside of the door instead of inside?"

Something inside Elsa snapped. _You want to actually lock me in here. Like I'm in a cage. _"What do you think I've been dealing with the last several years?! I've been _taking responsibility_ for one incident all this time! I didn't ask for these…these powers! I don't even want them! Why was I born like this anyway? I make one mistake and then have to pay for it forever." Icicles began to spread on the ceiling as Elsa continued, "I _hate_ this. And Anna's right-this isn't fair. Why can't we even talk through the door or something? It's not safe for her to be around me, yes; but we could still at least…talk to each other." Elsa's eyes began to well with tears once again as her anger dissipated. _I just exploded at Mom and Dad. Not a good move, Elsa._ She backed farther away and whispered, "I'm sorry I exploded like that…I just…just…" Elsa collapsed onto the floor and burst into tears. _I can't deal with this anymore. I wish I could run away. Somewhere where there isn't anyone around. I'd be free from all this. _Then, a moment later, _What a foolish, childish idea, Elsa. You can't run from this. You're heir to Arendelle's throne._

Agdar and Idun had never seen Elsa so distraught. "Just leave her be right now," Idun whispered.

"She's ravaging this whole room!" Agdar whispered back, gesturing at the spreading ice on the ceiling and floor. "It'll take ages for it to melt."

"Agdar, she's upset! And technically she's right-we did lie to Anna."

"_Elsa can't afford to get upset!_ She does THIS whenever she does because of that disability of hers. No blueprint drawing for Elsa for one week," Agdar decided.

"You can't take that away from her! She does that all the time."

"All the more reason. She can practice containing those powers of hers instead. Elsa?" he said, raising his voice so Elsa could hear him.

Elsa raised her head and looked up at her parents.

"No blueprint drawing for a week."

_I will not beg. I won't. I'll go in the secret passages instead._ "Fine," Elsa replied. _This isn't fair._ She stood up and took a few shuddering breaths. "Good night. I'm going to get ready for bed." Elsa turned her back and began digging in her closet, hoping they would just leave. She sighed in relief when she heard her door shut. After Elsa put on her nightgown, she tumbled into bed and dove under the covers. _What a rotten, rotten day._


	2. A Taste of Freedom

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!:)**

**Lindstrom-Thank you! I have a pet peeve with grammar errors, so I'm very pleased to know my writing isn't full of them. Lol:) That's exactly what I thought-there is _no way_ either Elsa or Anna were putting up with that situation with no questions asked. I've been wondering since the first time I saw the movie why couldn't they talk through the door or something? Or at least tell Anna what was going on? Or pass notes under the door back and forth? It makes no sense whatsoever.:P**

**artsoccer-I promise this is going to end on a happy note:)**

**Troubledgirl87-Glad you like my story even if you hate Agdar;) (Personally I think Elsa's and Anna's parents were pretty stupid...um...*whistles innocently since I'm a teenager too and therefore most likely biased in favor of Elsa and Anna*:))**

The next morning, Elsa awoke to the sound of a knock on her door. "Go away, please."

"Princess Elsa, I have breakfast for you," Gerda said.

_Oh no, I must have overslept._ Elsa jumped out of bed and splashed through the meltwater all over the floor to the door. "It's unlocked." _Good grief, I made such a mess in here yesterday._

Gerda took one look at the room and knew what had happened. She'd heard Anna's yelling the night before. "Where would you like your breakfast, Princess Elsa? I'll get this room cleaned up in no time."

"On the desk. I'm really sorry about…the mess. I'll help mop it up. I… completely lost it last night." _That's the understatement of the year._

"Did you get in trouble for Anna barging in here? The truth, now," Gerda said when she saw Elsa shut her eyes and start shaking her head.

"I'm not allowed to draw any blueprints for a week. I suppose I deserve it-Anna got in because I forgot to lock the door." _Although...if I was allowed to just _talk_ to Anna in the first place, it wouldn't have happened because we would have been talking through the door..._

Gerda frowned. She'd seen some of Elsa's blueprints, and they were careful, precise, and looked real. They may as well have been lesson assignments; after all, calculations and math were needed to make accurate blueprints. _What a dumb punishment. Drawing blueprints is basically lessons, except that they're fun. For Elsa, anyway._ "Well, I have to go wake up Anna. Then I'll be right back to mop up all the water."

"Would you give Anna something for me? I want to give her this," Elsa said, holding out one of her favorite blueprint drawings, which was a floor plan of the entire castle that she'd drawn up from memory. "Just tell her not to show our parents…I don't know if they would approve or not…"

"I'm sure Anna will be pleased to have it. Are you sure you want to give Anna this one, though? I know you spent a lot of time on it," Gerda said.

"I can always draw another one. If I can't see or talk to Anna, the least I can do is give her something I spent time on. Please?" _Maybe it'll help Anna understand when I don't reply to her again…_

"All right, princess. I'll be right back."

Elsa locked the door the moment Gerda was in the hall. _I won't forget to lock that door again._ She splashed over to her closet and changed out of her nightgown. Then she brushed out her hair and put it back in its braided bun. Elsa sat down to eat her pancake breakfast. _I'm going outside later. To the forest behind the castle where that passage ends. There won't be anyone out there, so it'll be fine. I won't hurt anyone._

* * *

><p>"Elsa didn't get in trouble for what I did yesterday, did she?" Anna asked when Gerda finally woke her up. "Although I don't think I did anything wrong…well, maybe I shouldn't have yelled at Mom and Dad."<p>

"She isn't allowed to draw any blueprints for a week," Gerda told Anna.

"Not _allowed_ to draw blueprints? That doesn't sound like much of a punishment," Anna said, sounding pleased. "Don't you have to do a ton of math and calculation stuff to make a good one?"

"Princess Anna, your sister likes drawing blueprints. She does that for fun all the time. Believe me, that is a serious punishment to her," Gerda said. "Princess Elsa wanted me to give you this, along with the message that you are not supposed to show your parents because she wasn't sure if they would approve." Gerda handed Anna Elsa's castle floor plans.

"Elsa…drew this whole thing? For fun? She even put in details in some of the rooms!" Anna looked at the drawing, loving it because it was from Elsa, and because Elsa had actually _made_ it. "How did she make this when she doesn't ever leave her room?"

"Your sister has a near photographic memory. She just used her memories of the castle to do the drawing part, and then asked me for a few main dimensional measurements to do the rest of it. Princess Elsa likes geometry, in case you couldn't tell." Gerda smiled at Anna.

"_I HAVE A PRESENT FROM ELSA!_" Anna whisper-screamed.

* * *

><p>After Elsa finished eating her breakfast, she helped Gerda mop up the water all over the floor. "Thank you for helping clean up all the mess. I know it must get tiresome after I've done that about a hundred thousand times over."<p>

"Now Princess Elsa, you have _not_ frozen your room a hundred thousand times," Gerda said, continuing mopping.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have done it 99,999 times over then," Elsa said. _That was not a princess-y thing to say, Elsa. You are not supposed to be sarcastic, even in jest._ "Sorry Gerda…I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to…make a joke? It didn't work. It fell flat."

"Why should you apologize for making a joke, princess? Goodness knows you should be allowed to think of funny things sometimes." Gerda knew Elsa's sense of humor usually involved one or more of three things: 1) wordplay or puns, 2) a numbers joke of some kind, or 3) making fun of herself. This time Elsa had managed to involve all three.

"I was being a little sarcastic…I'm not supposed to act like that."

"Look at me, Princess Elsa. You weren't 'acting like' anything. Personally I did not find your joke funny, but only because you were picking on yourself in the process. You need to stop thinking ill of yourself." Gerda would have said a lot more about the whole thing, but she didn't think it was her place to do so.

"I need to stop thinking ill of myself? But what about my… my _problem_? My d-d-d-disability?" Elsa's voice began to quaver.

"Who told you that you had a disability?" Gerda asked, although she was fairly certain she knew the answer.

"My ears told me," Elsa whispered. "Your sense of hearing becomes acute when it is your only connection with anything outside your room for years. I've heard mother and father talking…"

"Princess Elsa. You do _not_ have a disability. That is a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities. You have-"

Elsa's sad blue eyes flashed. "And that describes me to a T. My sense of touch is constrained constantly," she said, holding up her gloved hands. "And I'm isolated in my room all the time because of the whole thing. The defense rests." _You interrupted Gerda. You should apologize, even if you don't agree with her, even if you know she's wrong._ "I'm…sorry for interrupting."

"Apology accepted." Gerda wondered how to comfort Elsa; sometimes she was too perceptive for her own good. "Princess, I'll concede that is one way to look at it, but I believe your powers are a special ability that helps make you _you_."

_If THAT'S true, then I hate myself,_ Elsa thought. She didn't dare voice that opinion aloud.

"And I don't know how or when, but someday you WILL be able to control them and it WILL be a special gift."

"But I can't control it-I don't know how!" _And Elsa, you'll never be anything more than a shut away, abnormal freak._ Elsa thought she hadn't said the last sentence aloud, but she had.

"Princess Elsa, did I just hear you call yourself an abnormal freak?" Gerda asked sternly.

"Y-y-you heard that?" Elsa stammered.

"Yes, I did. Don't call yourself nasty, untrue names like that." Gerda finished the last bit of mopping the floor.

"It _is_ true!" Elsa felt herself starting to lose control again. _Conceal, don't feel… conceal, don't feel…_ "Gerda, thank you for helping me clean up the mess. Will you please…you know…" Elsa nodded toward the door.

"Yes, Princess Elsa. I have a job for you till lunchtime." Gerda hoped she wasn't pressing her place with her proposition.

"A job?" Elsa was puzzled. _What sort of job could I do in my room?_

"Yes. You need to think of one thing you like about yourself or something you think you're good at, and tell it to me when I come back. Good-bye, Princess Elsa." Gerda left and shut the door.

Elsa ran to lock it. _Something I like about myself or something I think I'm good at…hmm…_ She decided to pass the time by finishing solving the magic square of numbers she'd started several days before. _And after lunch, I am going outside to the forest._

* * *

><p>At eleven AM, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on her door. "Hi, Elsa! Thanks for the cool drawing. I can't believe you drew that whole thing mostly from memory. Gerda told me you like drawing blueprints for fun. I'm sorry I got you in trouble yesterday…I didn't mean to. I know I made it so you couldn't draw blueprints for a week. Will you forgive me?"<p>

_I forgive you. I just hope you can forgive me for ignoring you. Oh, Anna, please understand why I'm not replying to you…please…_ Elsa thought.

"Elsa? Can you just say 'yes' or 'no'? Pretty please? I gotta know if you're mad at me or not. I promise I won't try to barge in your room again."

_I can't answer you, Anna. I'm not mad at you. And don't worry; you won't get in even if you do try to barge in. The door is locked._ The last sentence bounced around in Elsa's mind. _The door is locked…the door is locked…locked door…door locked…is the door locked…the door is locked…locked…locked…locked…you're locked in…Anna's locked out…the door…is locked…_ Elsa shook her head, trying to clear her scrambled thoughts. _Or are _you_ locked out and _Anna_ is the one who's locked in? You're the one who's locked _out_ from anywhere and anything outside your room. Anna's the one who's locked _in_ the castle, even though she can run freely anywhere inside it. Good grief, Elsa, you must be crazy. Who cares whether it is called locked _in_ or locked _out_, or who is locked _in_ or locked _out_? In this case, both possibilities are each as bad as the other._ Elsa frowned; her own introspection was confusing her.

"Pleeeease? Just one word? I'll be super happy if you just tell me you're not mad at me."

Elsa abandoned her musings about locked in vs. locked out. _I did tell you, Anna, in my own lousy way. Please just think and understand. The drawing is for you. To tell you that I _do_ care, no matter how much I shut you out._ Elsa blinked back tears.

"Ok, I guess you're not going to say anything. I'm going to come back later, though. Thanks again for the drawing! Bye, Elsa!"

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _Bye, Anna._

* * *

><p>At noon, Elsa finally put the last number in her magic square. <em>I did it! It's finished. Top row 8, 18, 16. Middle row 22, 14, 6. Bottom row 12, 10, 20. <em>She quickly checked to see if the figures added up equally in all directions. _It checks vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. Everything adds up to 42._ Elsa smiled, pleased with her problem-solving skills. "Just a moment, please," she said when she heard Gerda say she'd brought Elsa her lunch. Elsa unlocked the door and retreated to the other side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

Gerda came in and set Elsa's lunch on the desk. "So, what did you come up with for your little job assignment, Princess Elsa?"

"Well…I think I am fairly good at math tricks. Does that count?" Elsa asked.

"Certainly. And what made you think of that?"

"I made up a magic square that actually works on my own. It checks completely. It's on that paper on the desk if you would like to see it," Elsa replied.

Gerda looked at the paper. "Princess Elsa, if you made this up all on your own, you aren't 'fairly good' at math tricks. You're 'VERY good' at math tricks. Now come dinnertime, you tell me another thing, all right?"

"I'll try. Thank you for bringing my lunch, Gerda," Elsa said.

* * *

><p>Elsa ate her lunch quickly after Gerda left the room (and Elsa had relocked the door). <em>I'm going outside today! I'm really going to do it!<em> After she had finished eating, she lit a candle and crawled through the secret entrance into the labyrinth of secret passages. _I have to be very careful that I don't lose my way. There is no map to orient myself this time._ She closed her eyes, picturing the secret passages' map in her head. _This way_, she decided. Elsa carefully made her way through the maze of tunnels, passages, stairs, and chutes toward the secret door opening to the forest behind the castle. Soon she reached the door. Elsa paused, her hand on the hidden switch that slid the door up. _I'm really doing this! I'm going to be outside for the first time in years!_ Pulse racing; adrenaline coursing through her, Elsa pushed the switch and the door slid up. Elsa stepped through the door and it clicked down behind her. She set the candle next to the entrance so she could easily find it again. _Outside, outside! I'm outside! _Sunlight danced through the trees. Elsa saw a small clearing a little ways into the forest with a creek bubbling through it. She ran into the clearing and turned her face upwards, basking in the sun's rays shining down on her, even though she couldn't actually feel their warmth. _I love it out here. Nothing matters to me right now. Nothing! It's just me and the trees and the sun and the water._ Happy tears ran down Elsa's face. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…wait. Not right now, Elsa. You're happy. Surely it's all right to feel that. You can dump that stolid, phlegmatic self, just for a little while._ Elsa flopped on the ground next to the creek and just watched the water flow for a while. _I want to touch the water…really touch it…without freezing it._ She debated the idea for a few minutes and decided she'd better not. _Too risky. I'd be found out instantly if I froze the creek in the middle of summer._ Elsa turned over on her back and watched the clouds overhead contentedly. _I'm free from worries, free from cares… I wish I could stay out here forever. _Soon, Elsa was so relaxed she fell asleep there next to the creek, lying in the sun.

_Winter…snow falling…no wait, it's summertime. _Elsa floated off in a dream. _"No, silly, it's December!" five-year-old Anna said. "Almost Christmas and MY birthday!"_

_ "December? I thought it was July," eight-year-old Elsa said._

_ "You're funny! Why would it snow in July?" Anna giggled._

_ "Me, of course!" little Elsa replied, showering Anna with snowflakes._

_ "Oh, oh, yeah! Again, again! Make snowy icy towers to jump on!"_

_ Elsa laughed and agreed. Anna jumped from one tower to the next, as fast as Elsa made them. Anna began to jump faster. "Wait, slow down!" Elsa exclaimed._

_ Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making a mound of soft powdery snow. "ANNA!"_

_ "That was awesome!" Anna shrieked, shaking snow out of her hair._

_ "Oh, thank goodness you're all right!" Elsa said, running to Anna and holding her tight._

_**REWIND**_

_ Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making another icy tower, but she missed and hit Anna instead. "ANNA!"_

_ Anna gasped and fell to the floor, unconscious. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"_

_ "It was an accident! I'm sorry, Anna…"_

_ Accident…accident…accident…_ The word echoed again and again.

_**REWIND**_

_ Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and simply screamed. "ANNA!"_

_ Anna fell to the floor limply. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"_

_ "I didn't do anything!" Elsa cried in horror. "She jumped and-"_

_ "You should have caught her with your powers! You should have done something! Your five-year-old sister is dead because you stood by and did nothing!" the king interrupted._

_ Eight-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed._

_**REWIND**_

_Anna was too excited to listen. Elsa slipped, and then saw Anna jumping off the tower into thin air and tried to catch her by making another icy tower, but she missed and hit Anna instead. "ANNA!"_

_ Anna gasped and fell to the floor. …dead silence… "You're ok, Anna, I got you." … … "This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?"_

_ "It was an accident! I'm sorry, Anna…"_

_ "You shouldn't have tried to catch her your powers! You shouldn't have been playing with your powers in the first place! They're dangerous! Your five-year-old sister is dead, frozen solid, because of your actions," the king interrupted._

_ Eight-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed._

_**FLASH FORWARD**_

_ Sixteen-year-old Elsa collapsed on the floor and sobbed. "Why am I always wrong no matter what I do? Anna gets hurt or killed whether I do nothing, or if I try to help!"_

_ "Remember me?" Five-year-old Anna tapped Elsa on the shoulder. Elsa turned to look at her._

_ "Wait, why are you still little? You're supposed to be thirteen!"_

_ "You're supposed to be eight!" little Anna said. "Anyway, I don't care how old you are. You're my big sister Elsa and I love you!" Little Anna threw her arms around Elsa and hugged her close._

_ "Don't hug me! I'm dangerous! I froze you!" Elsa said, trying to push little Anna away._

_ "Not in happy dreamland you didn't!" Little Anna continued holding Elsa tight._

_ "And in real life I'm alive and well," a thirteen-year-old Anna said._

_ Elsa looked to see what the new voice was. "Two Annas?!" She turned to older Anna._

_ "No, Elsa! Just me. Do you want to build a snowman?" thirteen-year-old Anna asked._

_ "Yes…but I can't! Don't you understand? I'm dangerous! I froze you! I almost killed you!"_

_ "I don't care. You didn't do that on purpose. You tried to catch me. I love you, Elsa. You're my sister, and don't you forget that." Older Anna ran to Elsa and gave her a hug._

_ "Don't hug me! I might hurt you again! I have to run away from here! I think Mom and Dad must hate me."_

_ "Our parents can't possibly hate you, Elsa. Even if they do, I sure don't. I'll run away with you!"_

_ "My powers, Anna! I can't control them! You can't run away with your disabled sister! It's not safe!" Elsa cried._

_ "Elsa, I want to come with you anyway. We can just run off by ourselves. Maybe out in the forest! Or up the North Mountain!"_

A bright flash appeared.

_"See? We're free here!" Anna grabbed Elsa's bare hand and ran through the snow in the forest._

Another bright flash appeared.

_"We're free here too!" Anna grabbed Elsa's bare hand as they stood on the summit of the North Mountain._

_ Suddenly, Anna disappeared, leaving Elsa all alone on the mountain. "Anna? Anna?! Where are you?"_

* * *

><p>In real life, Elsa abruptly jerked awake. <em>What was all that? What a weird dream…Anna doesn't even know about my powers in real life. I rather wish she did; at least she'd know why I can't be around her. In fact, Anna <em>should_ know. It should be her right to know…__I wish I could tell her._ Elsa looked around herself, relieved that she was just laying on the grass beside the creek. She looked up at the sky and realized it must be late. The sun was very low in the sky, almost sunset. _I hope I didn't miss dinner._ Elsa jumped up and ran back to the secret entrance. After fumbling to get it back open, she headed as quick as she dared to go without risking getting lost through the passages back to her room.

A minute after Elsa had closed the secret entrance to the passages back in her room, she heard a knock on the door and Gerda saying she had brought Elsa's dinner. _Thank goodness I came back just in time. _Elsa ran to unlock the door, then retreated back to the far side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

Gerda set Elsa's dinner on the desk and then asked, "Did you think of another thing, Princess Elsa?"

_Oops…I forgot. Too much excitement from going outside, I suppose. Wait, I know…_ "I think I'm good at memorizing things." _Like maps for secret passages_, Elsa thought with a smile.

"Good. You can tell me something else tomorrow morning." Gerda looked questioningly at Elsa. "Princess Elsa, your face is red as a beet. It looks like…well, it looks like sunburn…"

Elsa's hands flew to her cheeks, which _were _stinging, now that she thought about it. _Oh no. I fell asleep for who knows how long earlier lying in the sun. Of course I got sunburned…me with my pale skin…_

"Did you go outside or something earlier? It wouldn't have taken much for you to get sunburned with your fair complexion."

Elsa hung her head. "I went out in the forest earlier," she whispered. "I knew there wouldn't be anyone out there, so I thought it would be safe…Are you going to tell on me? I probably shouldn't have done that." Elsa didn't add that she'd been outside all afternoon…sleeping in the sun. Or exactly how she had gotten outside.

"Certainly not! Be careful in the forest, though." _She stays in this room all the time; she should get to go outside anyway,_ Gerda thought. "But I think your face is going to tell on you if your parents see you before the sunburn fades…"

"Could you try to keep them from 'visiting' me till it's gone?" Elsa asked hopefully.

"I can try, but I know there is something they want to discuss with you," Gerda said.

_I bet it's that betrothal thing,_ Elsa thought. "Well, thank you all the same. I know! Would the sunburn pass for a really bad case of blushing?"

"Sorry, Princess Elsa, I think not. You hardly ever blush in the first place, and not to mention, no one blushes on their foreheads," Gerda shook her head.

"Thank you for dinner." Elsa said.

Gerda knew Elsa was politely saying 'please leave', so she left.

As soon as Gerda left and Elsa had locked the door, Elsa went into her bathroom and tried to think of some way to cover up that sunburn. _I'll be in huge trouble if Mom and Dad find out I went outside. _Why had she gone out there anyway? _You went outside because you've been stuck in this room for eight years. That's why. And it was amazing too. It was freedom for a few hours. Sunlight. Trees. Water. Grass. _Elsa's bangs partly hid the sunburn on her forehead, but there wasn't anything else she could do. _You know what, Elsa? Don't worry about it. You went outside and were actually _happy_ for a while. No regrets. Not this time. I suppose I'll just have to be queen of the lobsters for a while. Oh well. _Elsa stuck out her tongue and made faces at her reflection in the mirror. Seeing herself with a bright red face was rather amusing. _Whoa, Elsa, you just stuck out your tongue. Bad girl! You aren't supposed to do that._ She paused in her thoughts for a moment, then continued to herself, _You know what, self? I don't care. I don't care at all. Look, I'm sticking out my tongue! Ooh, that's _so_ terrible!_ Elsa was just in a very perky mood, quite unlike her usual depressed or aloof self. Going outside had lifted her spirits considerably. She pulled her hair down out of its braided bun and let it hang down her back in a single braid. Then she decided to undo the braid too. Elsa's platinum hair cascaded down her back in loose waves. _What if your parents saw you now? They would say you're being scandalous because sixteen-year-olds are just wayyy too old to go around with their down. Except _this_ sixteen-year-old is alone in her room, so who cares? Not me!_ She paraded out of the bathroom and climbed on her bed. Elsa suddenly had the ingenious idea to jump on the bed, something she hadn't done since she was eight. _La la la…look, Princess Elsa is jumping on the bed! _Boing! Boing! Boing! Elsa tired of her loose hair flying in her face, so she stopped bouncing and put it back in a single braid. _Oh, I forgot about my dinner,_ she thought. Elsa sat down at her desk and quickly ate her dinner. _You are definitely going outside again tomorrow Elsa, whether you technically 'should' or not. I haven't been this happy in years. Just this time, I'm taking a hat so I don't get sunburned again._ After she finished eating, Elsa put on her nightgown and curled up in bed with a book.

* * *

><p>Elsa fell asleep with the thought that she hadn't had to try to suppress her powers with 'conceal, don't feel' at all after going outside.<p>

**A/N: So...Elsa's mostly happy at the moment.:) **

**I would really appreciate feedback on Elsa's dream sequence...I meant it to 'make sense but be a bit confusing'...opinions please.:)**

**I'll update again soon! (As in when I figure out where I want my next chapter break:P)**


	3. Reconnection, Just a Little

**A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter than the first two, just because of where it made sense to do a chapter break.:) **

**Thanks to everyone who followed and/or is reading but not reviewing!**

**Lindstrom-Thanks for reviewing again!:) I guess Elsa's dream _was_ easily understandable then because what you said was pretty much what the point of the whole thing was. I'm glad you liked Anna's 'whisper-screaming'.;) It seemed Anna-ish to me, lol. And that's what I think too...Elsa might be scared and upset, but she's not an adult. I don't think she just sat around for thirteen years, resigned to the fate of staying in that room forever with no complaints. Anyway...:/ :P**

The next morning, Elsa awoke in a chipper mood. She pulled on a clean dress and brushed her hair, purposely leaving it in a single braid. "Just a moment," she called when she heard Gerda knock on the door bringing Elsa's breakfast. "The door is unlocked," Elsa said, and retreated to the opposite side of the room. "Good morning," she greeted Gerda after she'd set Elsa's breakfast on the desk.

"Good morning, princess." Gerda said quietly.

"What's the matter?"

Gerda thought for a moment before replying, "Princess Elsa, I hate to ruin your good mood, but your parents are coming to see you between breakfast and lunch. Nothing I said could deter them without sounding suspicious…" _She needs to know…at least she'll be prepared ahead of time._

Elsa's sweet smile disappeared and was replaced with a stony look. "Thank you for telling me."

"It was the least I could do." Gerda started to leave the room, but turned back to say, "Princess Elsa, don't lose your newfound optimism. You're a strong girl. Don't you ever forget that." Gerda left, shutting the door behind her.

Elsa ran to lock it. _Me, a strong girl? I can't even control something that's a physical part of me. _Something else inside her said, _You haven't even had to think about suppressing those powers since you went outside yesterday. You've found a way to help control it. Maybe that weird dream had a point. Away from everything means freedom. It's just that in real life, you can't have Anna with you. I wish… _Elsa sat down on the window seat and gazed outside. She could see the North Mountain towering high in the air, far away, miles away. _I wonder what it's really like on the summit. Oh, Elsa, why are you even thinking that? Like you could really just run away…_

Elsa pulled her thoughts away to the more pressing issue at hand. _Mom and Dad probably want to talk to me about that betrothal thing, which I think is utterly ridiculous. But I can't say that…I'll just point out the fallacies in the whole idea, that it is completely illogical to go through with that when I can't even talk to Anna. They'll see my sunburn and ask about it, I'm sure. About that, I'll just tell the truth. But unless they ask outright, I am _not_ saying how I got outside. They might seal off the exit or something…_

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later, Elsa heard a knock on her door. "It's your parents," she heard Idun say.<p>

Elsa unlocked the door and returned to the opposite side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

Agdar and Idun came in and shut the door behind them. "We have wonderful news for you…Elsa, what happened to your face? You look…well, I know it is impossible, but…you look sunburned," Agdar said.

"Elsa, what did you do to your hair?" Idun asked.

_Huh, I wonder why you think that it's 'impossible' that I got sunburned. Maybe because you keep me in my room all the time…and it's MY hair, I want it in a braid right now. So there. _Elsa frowned, then realized she was frowning and wiped any expressions off her face she might have had. _No, Elsa, you're not losing control this time. You're staying a blank slate so they don't know what you're thinking._ "What is this 'wonderful news'?" she asked, not addressing the two questions.

"Your betrothal," Agdar said. "Wait, Elsa, you didn't answer two questions."

_I knew it! _"My betrothal? I'm only sixteen," Elsa said. "And I am sunburned, and my hair is just in a single braid."

"How would you have gotten sunburned indoors?" Agdar asked sharply.

"I did not get sunburned indoors," Elsa replied flatly.

"You've been outside, Elsa. You know you're not supposed to do that. How did you get outside past the servants and guards anyway?" Agdar asked. "Wait, you used the secret passages, didn't you?" He wasn't surprised Elsa had memorized the labyrinthine layout of the passages already.

"Yes, I did," Elsa said, her blue eyes flashing. _You're acting like I've committed some horrible crime by going outdoors. _"I only went in the forest, in that little clearing with the creek, though."

"What you did was dangerous, Elsa!"

"For me or everyone else?" Elsa's promise to herself to keep her temper in check was beginning to fail. Elsa knew it probably wasn't a hundred percent safe for a teenage girl to roam the forest alone, but she also knew that Agdar had probably meant her powers made it dangerous for everyone else.

"Don't sass your father, Elsa," Idun said. "And you should put your hair back up."

"Why? Nobody sees me anyway. And I like it better this way." _Shut up, Elsa, you're just going to make things worse for yourself…but it's true all the same…_

"_Elsa!_" Agdar shouted. "I don't know what has gotten into you, but it needs to end right now."

_What's gotten into me?! You ask me that after I've been in this room for eight years, go outside once, then get in trouble for it?!_

"You were wrong to use the secret passages to go outside. What if someone had caught you?"

Elsa steeled herself for what she knew was coming. _It doesn't matter…you can go outside anyway. Dad won't tell anyone else about the passages, so he can't guard the entrance to keep me in. Just as long as he doesn't seal the entrance, it will be fine._

"You are forbidden to go outdoors again. It isn't safe. For anyone, yourself included."

Elsa said nothing. _All right, at least Dad cares what happens to me, I suppose. I'm still going outside, though…I'll just have to be careful. It's one thing that makes me happy._

* * *

><p>That afternoon, Elsa headed outside again via the secret passages. Being outdoors was just as exhilarating for Elsa as it had been the day before. Little did she know someone was watching her from indoors…<p>

Anna glanced out a window that overlooked the forest and did a double take when she saw a slender figure at the edge of the forest. _What young girl would be wandering around out there? Is it even safe?_ Curious, Anna continued looking intently out the window. The girl outside took off her hat and tilted her face toward the sky with a happy smile. Then Anna knew. That face and hair could only belong to one person. _It's Elsa! What's Elsa doing out there?_ And then a moment later, _She's out there because she wanted to get out of her room. That's what she's doing out there. I bet she's not supposed to be doing that, but…Elsa actually looks _happy._ No way am I tattling on her._ Anna continued watching her sister as she touched a tree trunk and headed a bit further to the creek. She watched Elsa kneel by the creek, reach toward the water, then jerk her hand back without actually touching it. Anna frowned. _Good grief, Elsa's out there by herself…why doesn't she just take those gloves off? She obviously wants to touch things…_ Anna decided that Elsa must have a thing about dirt or something.

* * *

><p>Outside, Elsa <em>did<em> want to touch things, but she didn't dare take those gloves off. She didn't trust herself not to freeze something by accident, especially the creek water. And this was not her room; if she left ice outside now and someone found it, it would be very strange. Still, Elsa felt much more in control than she had in years, and Elsa decided that it had to be due to going outside. Elsa knew her powers were growing stronger, ever since she was twelve and she'd accidentally iced her room's wall. It hadn't seemed to matter that she was still wearing gloves; that ice had all come from her feet. And it started randomly showing up more and more when she was upset. _No, Elsa, you're not thinking about that right now. This is your secret freedom time. Go worry in your room later tonight if you have to._ Elsa looked back toward the castle and saw someone peeking out a window. The someone opened the window, pointed outside to Elsa, back at herself, then put a finger over her lips in a 'shhh' gesture. Then the someone made the 'zip the lips and throw away the key' motion. _It's Anna,_ Elsa realized. Elsa smiled back and nodded. _Thank you, Anna._ Elsa walked closer to the castle until she was almost directly below the window. She gestured that they shouldn't talk aloud, but could they communicate via gestures?

Anna was surprised. _Elsa actually WANTS to communicate with me now? _Then, _Of course she does, she evidently doesn't like being close to people for some reason, and she doesn't have to for this._ Noticing Elsa had her hair fixed differently from when Anna had seen her before, Anna motioned to one of her own pigtail braids and then pointed at Elsa.

Elsa smiled. She coiled her single braid into a bun, then frowned and shook her head to say she didn't like it that way. Then she released the braid and smiled again.

Anna nodded to show she understood. She pointed to her own hand and then at Elsa, shrugging and making a 'why?' gesture.

Elsa's smile disappeared. She crossed her arms and shook her head. _I should have known Anna would ask that. Nobody but me wears gloves in the summertime._

Anna thought for a moment, puzzled at Elsa's reaction. She motioned that Elsa should just take them off, then pointed at the forest, hoping Elsa got the message that 'who cares since you're out there by yourself?'

Elsa got Anna's message loud and clear. _Anna thinks it shouldn't matter since I'm out here by myself. But it does matter._ Elsa shook her head more forcefully. _No, no, no, Anna, that is NOT ok. I can't do that._

Anna understood Elsa's meaning, but certainly not the reasons behind it. Anna nodded, saying 'that's ok, we don't have to talk about it'. She pointed at herself and then Elsa before giving herself a hug. _I wish I could give you a hug, _Anna thought.

Tears began streaming down Elsa's face. _Anna wants to give _me_ a hug even though I've been the one shutting her out for eight years? Oh, Anna, I wish I could give you one, too._ Elsa returned Anna's virtual hug, wishing it were possible for her to hug Anna for real. _But I can't._ She waved good-bye to Anna before turning and running headlong into the forest. Unable to see where she was going with her vision blurred by tears, she ran smack into a tree and fell, tearing one glove and painfully cutting her palm in the process. _Oh, great. That was clumsy, Elsa. Not only does that hurt, but now you're going to have to explain how you tore that glove when you were supposedly in your room all day._ Elsa scrambled to her feet and began stumbling back toward the castle and into the secret entrance.

Back inside, Anna was horrified at Elsa's sudden departure, but had to quickly come up with a cover story when her mother came up behind her, asking why the window was open.

"I was...There was a little chick outside and I was talking to it," Anna made up. _Hmm, nice job, Anna. That wasn't even a complete lie._ No way was she tattling on Elsa.

Idun seemed satisfied with Anna's explanation and asked her to please come work on her lessons now.

Anna reluctantly agreed.

* * *

><p>Back in her room, Elsa double-checked that the door was locked before slipping the torn glove off and looking at the stinging cut across her left palm. She tried to remember how Gerda had taken care of her and Anna's minor boo-boos when they were little. <em>I have to wash it off first, I think. Then put a bandage on it.<em> Deciding this was what she was going to do whether it was right or not, Elsa pulled a small bucket from under the sink and filled it with water. That way, if she accidentally froze the water, at least she wouldn't freeze the pipes too in the process. _Now come on, Elsa, you've been doing great the last couple of days. Don't freeze the water. _Elsa closed her eyes and plunged her hand into the water. She opened one eye, then the other. _I did it! I TOUCHED THE WATER without freezing it!_ But a moment after she thought that, a thin sheen of ice began forming on the water. Elsa jerked her hand out before it could spread any more. _I guess it was too much to hope for…what did I expect?_ Elsa dumped the water into the tub in disgust. Then she looked under the sink again for something to finish taking care of her hand with. Elsa finally found some cloth bandages and wrapped her cut as best she could. _There, I guess that will have to be good enough._ No way was Elsa going to let Gerda or her mother take care of her hand for her. She'd have to let them touch her, which she didn't think she would allow to happen in a million years; and she didn't want to explain exactly how she'd hurt herself either. Elsa decided to just stuff those gloves in the back of the closet and put on new ones. Nobody would look in her closet but herself, so it wouldn't matter. After that, Elsa flopped on her bed, thinking about her 'conversation' with Anna. _It was so nice to "talk" to Anna. Why did I run off like that? That was so stupid. All I did was give myself a nasty cut in the process and probably totally confuse Anna. _Elsa fingered the bandage under the glove on her left hand. _But Anna doesn't hate me! She's even keeping my going outside a secret. I wish I could tell her thank you._

An hour later, Elsa heard Anna's signature knock on the door. "Hi, Elsa! Nobody's out here right now, so I'm gonna say something. I just wanted you to know I won't tell on you for being outside. It'll be our secret. I LOVED having an actual conversation with you, even if we weren't actually talking aloud. You looked so happy outside until you got upset and ran off. Elsa, can you _please_ answer? Puh-lease?"

Elsa wrestled with herself for a moment before impulsively running over to the door and saying, "Anna, please move as far away from my door as possible to the other side of the hallway."

"Ok, I did," Anna replied a moment later.

Elsa cracked her door open to make sure Anna had really moved. Then she opened the door wide and quickly said, "Anna, I love you and I miss you very much. Thank you for not telling on me. And thank you for not…hating me, because I would completely understand if you did. Thank you for knocking on my door. I love you." Then she slammed the door shut and locked it before she could impulsively give Anna a hug. It took all of Elsa's willpower to not reopen that door. _Do NOT open that door again, Elsa. If you give Anna a hug, you might hurt her._

Anna stood right outside Elsa's door in shocked silence. _Elsa talked to me. She talked to me! ELSA TALKED TO ME! _Anna was so excited that she felt like screaming, but she knew she had better not or she'd get them both in trouble again. She mulled over what Elsa had said. _Elsa misses me? Then WHY can't we see and talk to each other anymore? I don't understand…it's like she's being forced to shut me out. But why? And poor Elsa thanked me for _not hating her_? What kind of thank-you is that? Why would she even say a thing like that? That she would 'completely understand' if I did? And of course I knock on her door…_ Anna knew it had been a big deal for Elsa to open that door and say something, even if she had promptly slammed the door shut again right after. "Elsa, thank _you_ for opening that door, even if it was just for a few seconds." She waited for Elsa to say something from the other side of the door, but she didn't.

Elsa stood on the other side of the door, forcing herself not to open that door again. _You can't do that, Elsa. You'll hurt Anna. Opening the door to say those few sentences was bad enough._

"Why in the world would anyone hate you? I could NEVER hate you, Elsa, no matter how long you shut me out. You're my sister. You shouldn't have felt you had to thank me for something like that," Anna said.

_If you only knew,_ Elsa thought. _If you knew what I am and just why I shut you out, you might think differently. I'm the monster who almost killed you when you were five. _"Yes I should have. I had to say thank you," Elsa whispered.

Anna strained to hear Elsa's barely audible words. "If you said what I think you said, you did _not_ have to say thank you, Elsa. And I'll always knock on your door. I'll keep doing it until you let me in."

_You'll be doing it forever then. I'll never be able to let you in, Anna, no matter how much I want to. _Elsa began to cry. "Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel," she mumbled to herself as she lay facedown on her bed.

Anna frowned outside the door. "_What_ did you just say? It sounded like 'conceal don't feel'. What sort of rubbish talk is that? Of course it's ok to feel. And it's completely ok to cry sometimes too," she added when she heard stifled sobs coming from the other side of the door.

_No, it's _not_ ok. It might be fine to cry and feel for normal people, but it's not fine for me. Because I freeze things whenever I do,_ Elsa thought as she glanced around her room, which sure enough was beginning to be covered in ice. _You need to go back outside again soon. That will help you, self._

"Elsa, I'm right out here for you. It IS fine to cry, but I hate knowing you're upset like this. And don't try to tell me you're fine. I don't know why, but I do know you're scared and depressed for some reason and I want to help…will you let me?" Anna asked.

_You can't help, Anna. Not unless you know how to fix me, which I know is impossible. _Elsa made a rash decision. Maybe she couldn't tell Anna WHY exactly, but she could say something somewhat explanatory to Anna. She jumped off the bed and ran back over to the door, but didn't open it. "Anna, I have something important to say. Are you listening?"

"Of course!"

"All right, good. Anna, please just know that I can't talk to you. It's too hard for me…I…I just _can't_. And our parents will do their absolute hardest to keep you from even knocking on my door if they find out we've been talking together. It's… it's too dangerous. _I'm_ dangerous." Elsa's voice cracked as she continued, "I do love you. I always will. I miss you more than I can say. I wish I could tell you why things are the way they are…but I can't. I…I'm…it's…" Elsa tried to think of a way to say that there was something dangerously wrong with her without announcing that she had ice powers she couldn't control. Finally, she just said, "There's something wrong with me that can't be cured. I'm…defective," she finished.

Anna was confused and horrified at Elsa's little speech. "WHAT?! That is the STUPIDEST thing I've ever heard! Look, Elsa, I still don't have any idea what's going on, but I do know that my sister is NOT defective! You were completely fine outside earlier, although I did think it was strange you were wearing gloves and it's summertime. You must have a thing about dirt or something."

Elsa laughed ruefully to herself. _I wish that were the reason. A thing about dirt? Seriously?! Anna, you're funny._

"And you are not dangerous. Who's putting all these dumb ideas in your head? Mom and Dad? Maybe I should have another talk with them…no wait, that didn't do any good last time. Don't worry, Elsa, I won't do that."

Elsa sighed in relief. _Thank you, Anna. Whatever you do, please never EVER do that._

"Elsa, Mom's calling me. I gotta go. Bye!"

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _Bye Anna._

_**A/N:**_** I**** realize Elsa didn't respond to Anna ever from inside her room besides 'Go away Anna' during the movie...hang in there, everyone. I'm still eventually going to end this in canon and on a happy note. PROMISE.:)**

**(If anyone wants to guess what will happen, feel free to PM me.:))**


	4. I Wish It Could Be Like This All theTime

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thank you! I'm glad you like it.:) Yeah, I don't think Anna has NO common sense...it's just she's smart one minute and then does something completely stupid the next. I think she's just impulsive.;) Lol**

**Lindstrom-I didn't even realize I got all those foreshadowing moments in..:P But now that you point it out, I'm like 'Hey, cool!' Lol:) Thanks for sticking with me...I know exactly how the story's going to go; I just need to, you know, TYPE THE REST OF IT.:P (I'm pretty slow at typing) Elsa going to the other side of the room whenever she unlocks the door seemed like a believable habit, so...yeah. Now that I'm actually thinking about it, that is pretty sad.:/ I like that part too:) (wow, I'm being so modest at the moment aren't I?:P Not;) Ok, I'll shut up now.) I do intend to explain that a bit further, but it was mostly just because the secret passages were something that Elsa was supposed to know after she turned 16. (Hence why Anna doesn't know about them.) Also, in my head, I'm thinking that Agdar never thought that Elsa would actually go outside. Maybe go in the passages, but not outside. Anyhow...I WILL talk about that in either the next chapter or the one after.:)**

**On to the story:)**

The next afternoon, Elsa searched for the hat she'd taken outside the day before. _I must have left it out there! That was dumb… _She grabbed the one other hat in her closet and headed outside via the secret passages once again. Elsa looked up at the window where she had seen Anna the day before, but Anna wasn't there. _I was hoping she'd be there again…oh well, I'm still outside, and today I have something I need to do-find that hat._ She started searching through the area she knew she'd been in yesterday, looking back at the castle every few minutes for a sign of Anna. The hat was nowhere to be found. _Hats don't just walk away…where could it have gone?_ Elsa knew she was looking in the right area, but it was just plain gone. _Could someone have taken it? Who would have been out here, though? _She looked back at the castle once more. Elsa's face lit up when she saw Anna peeking out the same window as the day before. She abandoned searching for the missing hat and ran back towards the castle until she was standing almost under the window. Elsa waved at Anna, and Anna waved back. Elsa was still wondering what to do next when she heard Anna say, "Can you do a cartwheel, Elsa?"

Elsa frantically gestured for Anna to shush, and Anna said, "It's ok right now; nobody's within earshot."

Elsa smiled and just said, "Oh!" She thought about Anna's original question and realized she had no idea if she could or not. "I don't know," she added.

"Why don't you try?"

_Well, nobody's going to see me except Anna, so why not?_ Elsa tried, and would have easily made it over, except that she picked up her left hand too soon because the cut on her palm hurt, and she landed smack on her backside instead.

"That's ok; I can't either," Anna said.

Elsa giggled. _That was pure Anna, trying to get me to try something she can't do herself._ "Let me try again."

Anna watched as Elsa put only her right hand down this time as she kicked over. Elsa landed on her feet this time. _Um, Elsa just did that on her second try?!_

"Better?" Elsa asked. She knew she hadn't gone exactly straight over, but it was pretty close, and most certainly better than her first try.

"Yeah, Miss Show-off," Anna teased.

Elsa stepped back a few steps. _Is Anna mad at me? I wasn't trying to show off…_ "Sorry, Anna."

"Huh? Sorry for what? I was teasing you! You weren't really being a show-off," Anna said. "Although, how on earth did you do a one-handed cartwheel on your second try? That was great!"

"Oh. I'm sorry Anna; I know I am awful at this whole having an actual real conversation thing. I don't do it very often," Elsa said. _I might be awful at socializing with my own sister, but I'm still so, so happy to actually be talking to her anyway._

Anna frowned, remembering just why they were talking in this situation in the first place. _I wonder when IS the last time Elsa's enjoyed a real conversation…_

Elsa continued, "The only reason I tried it with one hand is because I hurt the other one yesterday. That's why I fell over the first time I tried it."

"Did you get it taken care of?"

"Yes, it's just a cut. It's fine."

"Can I see it?"

Elsa thought for a moment, and then said, "No. But Anna, you know what? I _love_ talking to you. I wish it could be like this all the time."

"Me too. Elsa…why did you thank me for _not hating you_ of all things yesterday? You sounded like you expected me to hate you, which is completely ridiculous."

Elsa's happy expression disappeared. _Because I'm a freak who almost killed you when you were five, that's why._ "Trust me, Anna, it isn't ridiculous. Can we please talk about something else?"

"Yeah, but I still don't agree. That is too completely ridiculous! Wait…" Anna put her finger to her lips. A few seconds later, she gave Elsa a thumbs up, but said quickly, "I gotta go-we almost got caught! Bye, Elsa!"

Elsa nodded and told Anna goodbye.

Anna gave Elsa a virtual hug, and Elsa returned the gesture.

* * *

><p>Anna disappeared from the window, and Elsa went back to searching for the missing hat. After spending the next half hour looking for the hat, Elsa gave up. She didn't want to waste the entire afternoon looking for a dumb hat. Elsa flopped down on the grass by the creek and watched the water ripple by. <em>I still want to touch that water and actually feel it running through my fingers.<em> She slipped the glove off her right hand and hesitantly reached a finger toward the water. _Even if I _do_ freeze it, it'll melt before anyone sees it…right?_ When her bare finger touched the water and nothing happened, she smiled and dipped her whole hand in. _I did it! I did it! I'm TOUCHING WATER and nothing's happening! _Elsa swished her hand back and forth in the water happily. She loved the pleasant sensation of the running water against her skin. _I have to tell Anna tomorrow! I won't have to tell her about my powers…I'll just say how nice it was to actually touch the water._ Elsa felt like she could stay there forever, lying in the grass with her bare hand dragging in the creek. '_Cause I'm happy…'cause I'm happy…wait, happy? I'm happy and calm right now…_ She was almost positive that had something to do with this newfound control, just not exactly what. Elsa stayed there for a long, long time; just watching the water flow, listening to the gurgling of the creek and the chirping birds, and _feeling_ the water run against her hand. When the sun dropped low in the sky, she reluctantly headed back inside.

* * *

><p>A few minutes after Elsa had returned to her room, Gerda knocked on her door saying she'd brought Elsa's dinner. Elsa practically skipped to the door and unlocked it before returning to the opposite side of the room. "The door is unlocked. Thank you for bringing my dinner, Gerda."<p>

"I gather you have something else to say besides that," Gerda said with a smile. Elsa wasn't bouncing on her toes or anything like Anna would do when _she_ had something important to say, but Elsa's face was all smiles and she wasn't clasping her hands together as she often did.

"I do! I touched water earlier with my bare hand and I didn't freeze it," Elsa said proudly. She would have added that she had also really truly talked to Anna and that she'd actually dipped her hand in the creek for hours; but she didn't want to pepper Gerda with things that needed to be kept secret.

"Well, congratulations, Princess Elsa! I think that calls for some extra chocolate, don't you?"

Elsa beamed. "I love chocolate. Will you give Anna some extra, too?"

"Your sister eats a _ton_ of chocolate already. I don't think she needs more. But I'll give her a little extra, just for you. I'll tell her it was your idea. How's that?"

"That sounds perfect."

* * *

><p>After dinner, Anna knocked on her sister's door. Elsa was sitting on her bed reading a book and eating her extra chocolates. Before Anna said a word, Elsa said, "Guess what's up?"<p>

Anna paused in surprise. _Elsa said something from inside her room without me even asking her to!_ "What?"

"That's what's up!" Elsa delivered her silly punch line from the other side of the door.

Anna started laughing in the hall. _Elsa must be really, really happy right now if she's telling jokes…however 'so stupid they're hilarious' they are._ "Somehow I know you have something to tell me," Anna said when she finally stopped giggling.

"I touched water with my bare hand after you had to stop talking. And I'm just so happy I actually talked with you earlier," Elsa said.

Anna frowned. "You're talking to me now, too…"

"I know, and I'm grateful for it, but it's not the same as talking to you face to face like we were earlier," Elsa replied.

"Elsa, _why_ can't you just let me in? I know you want to."

Elsa's cheerful mood plummeted. "Anna…I'm dangerous. It isn't safe, that's why." _Anna, please, please, please don't ask me anymore…_

"THAT IS SO STUPID. My sister Elsa is not dangerous!"

_Yes she is…I wish she wasn't, though._ Elsa didn't say anything.

"Elsaaa…aren't you going to say something? Please?"

_No. Not about that, I'm not._ Elsa felt herself getting upset again. _Conceal, don't feel…_ She took a deep breath and simply said, "Topic change."

Anna realized that Elsa was probably getting upset again, even though she couldn't see her. "You got it. Oh, I know! Thanks for the extra chocolate! Gerda told me it was your idea. I LOVE chocolate! Hey, let's eat our chocolate together. I'll be right back."

Elsa smiled on the other side of the door as she heard Anna's footsteps run down the hall and then come back.

"Ok, Elsa, have you got your chocolate?" Anna asked.

"Yes." Elsa didn't know how she felt right that moment. She was happy to be sharing a casual activity like eating chocolate with her sister; but it was awful too, knowing the two of them would probably never be able to be together _normally_ without that door separating them. _Unless I can control my powers, that is…I did make a little step in the right direction today._ Elsa flicked a piece of chocolate under the door, being sure to stay a certain distance away from the door herself, just in case. "For you, Anna."

"Thanks, Elsa. Hey, it's got fudge in the middle," Anna said with her mouth full. "Yum!" She flicked one of her own chocolates under the door to Elsa.

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa popped the chocolate into her mouth. "Delicious! That one was caramel!" She paused as her keen ears heard two sets of footsteps coming closer. _I'm pretty sure that's our parents. _"Anna, you need to leave. Now. I'm about ninety-nine percent sure our parents are coming, and we will both be in a heap of trouble otherwise."

"I didn't hear anything…"

"Trust me, I did! Goodbye, Anna," Elsa whispered.

"Don't go away, Elsa! I wanna stay here! And I still say I didn't hear anything!"

Elsa forced herself not to reply. She _knew_ her ears had been right; they were almost never wrong. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she heard Idun ask Anna why she was eating chocolate outside Elsa's room. "Um…well, I know Elsa's in there and I wanted to eat my chocolate but I wanted to sort of be around Elsa, so yeah?" she heard Anna say.

"Have you been in Elsa's room?" Agdar asked.

"Nope, the door's been shut all the time," Anna said truthfully.

"Well, leave your sister alone. Don't bother her."

Anna felt like screaming. _I was not bothering Elsa! We were having fun, actually! _"I thought Elsa might be lonely, even if she doesn't like to be around people. I really don't think I was bothering her."

Elsa smiled sadly from the other side of the door. _Anna can practically read my mind even after all this time. Am I really lonely, though? I think I could easily deal with staying in this room forever if I could be around Anna. But then, I wouldn't have to stay in here in the first place if I could do that, so that point is invalid… I guess I _am_ lonely, if I'm using that logic. And do I really dislike being around people? I know for a fact I do right now, but is it because I'm afraid I'll hurt someone or because I just don't like socializing?_ Elsa found this ironic-the same girl who disliked being around people admitted she was lonely. She heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall and a shouted, "THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON WHY I CAN'T EAT CHOCOLATE OUTSIDE ELSA'S ROOM!" _Anna, be quiet. You're going to end up telling on us accidentally._

"Elsa, we have to finish talking about something important," Agdar said as knocked on Elsa's door.

_Blah, I'll bet it is about that betrothal thing again._ Elsa scrambled to stuff the leftovers from her and Anna's chocolate-eating activities under the bed. Then she ran to unlock the door before retreating to the other side of the room. "The door is unlocked."

"Did you know Anna was sitting outside your door eating chocolate?" Idun asked.

"Yes…" Elsa answered warily. "She wasn't doing anything. I didn't open the door."

"Did you talk to Anna?"

Elsa hated lying, so she answered, "Do you think I did?" being careful to keep her voice neutral. _Don't ask anymore, please…I can't stand losing Anna completely... again. It might be just chocolates under that door; Anna knocking…but it's so much more than that to me._

There was a strained silence for a minute.

"Elsa, we don't know what you did. You've been very unpredictable the last couple days."

Elsa bit back an irritated response. _On the contrary, I think I've been far _more_ 'predictable' in the last couple of days. Even my powers have been more in control. Certainly not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but better…_ "Does the important something regard my betrothal?"

"Why yes, as a matter of fact, it does, Elsa," Idun said. "Isn't that wonderful?"

Elsa was silent for a moment, trying to decide what to say. _Don't get mouthy, Elsa. Just sensibly explain why the whole prospect is ridiculous. _"Well, actually…I don't think that is wonderful. It really does not make any sense. I can't be around people anyway, and I'm supposed to be betrothed to someone? Also, no one should get married to someone they've never met. It's just not…right." _I may not know much of anything about marriage, but I'm quite sure that is not the way it should happen, even if there wasn't anything wrong with me._

"How can you say things like that, Elsa? You don't know anything about how marriage should work," Agdar said.

"I do concede that I don't know much about marriage, but _no one_ should get married to someone they don't even know, whether they're normal people or…messed up like me." Elsa's words were spoken with absolute certainty. "It's not even safe for anyone to be near me…" _Not even Anna…_

Elsa's simple logic did not leave much room for debate. She and her parents stood on opposite sides of the room in silence. Finally, Elsa said, "It's getting rather late…I should like to get ready for bed." Which was true, but Elsa really just wanted to stop the awkward silence.

Elsa's parents bid her goodnight, and Elsa quickly put on her nightgown and climbed into bed with a book. _Good night, Anna, whatever you're doing._

* * *

><p>The next morning after breakfast, Anna came knocking on Elsa's door. "Good morning, Elsa! I've only got a couple minutes…I think Mom and Dad are suspicious about the chocolate thing. I just wanted to tell you that I probably won't be able to talk with you from the window this afternoon. Mom says I gotta catch up on some math stuff. Ick. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you so you don't think I forgot or abandoned you or something."<p>

_Of course they're suspicious about the chocolate thing…I didn't exactly give them a straight answer last night…And if either of us has abandoned the other, it's me who's abandoned Anna, not the other way around._ "It's all right, Anna. Thank you for telling me, anyways. If it's math, I might be able to help you though," Elsa said.

"Really?! Awesome! I'll be right back." Anna dashed down the hall and came back with a half-finished sheet of problems. She pushed the paper under Elsa's door. "All those x's and y's and squares and whatever else…who cares what the stinky old variables are?"

"Just give me a minute here-I know how to do these," Elsa said as she picked up the paper. "Good grief, Anna, your handwriting is terrible! I can hardly read it."

"Can you just give me an example then? Then I can just copy the formula on all of them."

"Sure. I'll just give you the quadratic formula. That will work on every equation. Don't tell anyone I said this, but the other ways to solve these are rather dumb if you know the formula. Factoring and completing the square make a lot of unnecessary busy work." Elsa sat down at her desk and quickly wrote down the formula on another piece of paper. _Let's see…negative b, plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac, all over 2a. Yes, that's it._ She took the paper with the formula and Anna's paper back over to the door and quickly pushed it underneath to the other side before backing away. "Does that make sense, Anna? As long as every equation is in the Ax squared plus Bx plus C equals zero form, that formula will work on all of them, even ones with imaginary numbers."

"Hey yeah, actually it does! Cool, thanks, Elsa! Why didn't somebody show me that before? I'll bet this is the first time I get all my math problems right!" Anna exclaimed. "Wait, did you say IMAGINARY numbers? How can a number be imaginary? If it's imaginary then it doesn't exist and you can't do a math problem with something that doesn't exist and a number can't be imaginary anyway 'cause you can't count something that's imaginary but you can't count a negative number of things either and I know how negative numbers work but negative numbers aren't imaginary though-wait, what?" Anna rambled about the idea that there were imaginary numbers.

Elsa giggled on the other side of the door. _Most of that made not a lick of sense, Anna. _"You must not have started on imaginary numbers yet. It will make more sense when you get to it. Just pretend that they're called something different, because if you get hung up on thinking they're 'imaginary', it makes no sense whatsoever."

"Thank you SO much for your help, Elsa!" Anna frowned when she heard someone calling her. "Mom's calling me…I gotta go. Bye, Elsa."

"Bye, Anna." Elsa smiled as she heard Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. _I helped Anna with something. I actually _helped_ Anna with something!_

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, Anna proudly showed her mother her finished page of math problems. "Looky, looky! I'll bet they're all right, too! I know a new trick!"<p>

"They _are_ right," Idun told her a few minutes later. "Good job. But I have one question for you…where did you learn this? No one taught you the quadratic formula yet."

"Um, well…" Anna had not anticipated this issue. _If Elsa isn't supposed to talk to me, she definitely wasn't supposed to help me with my math problems…what am I supposed to say?!_ "Isn't it great that I got them all right?" she asked, stalling for time.

"Yes, it is, Anna, but you had to have learned the formula from somewhere."

"I got it from a special library of knowledge!" Anna said dramatically. The silly drama was believable behavior coming from her, so this answer did not seem suspicious. _Well, Elsa _is_ special, and she's kind of a walking library of knowledge, evidently_, Anna thought to herself.

"Oh, the castle library," Idun said. Anna did enjoy reading, so that seemed believable, although Idun was slightly suspicious that Anna was reading something about algebra. That, on the other hand, was _not_ believable. Still…

Anna changed the subject by saying, "Look at this! See, it works on EVERY SINGLE ONE!" She stopped herself from adding 'supposedly even ones with imaginary numbers', because she wasn't supposed to have heard of those yet. _I'm so thanking Elsa for her help again later!_

* * *

><p>Just as Elsa was getting ready to open the secret entrance in her room to go outside that afternoon, she heard Anna knock on her door and say in a rush, "I'mnotsupposedtobeherebutthanksforyourhelpearlier! Igotallmyproblemsright! ByeElsa!"<p>

Before Elsa could say a word in reply, she heard Anna's running footsteps disappear down the hall. _You're welcome, Anna. I would have answered you aloud this time, but you ran off too fast._ She knew Anna had probably run off like that to ward off suspicion, but it still hurt. _Now I'm willing to reply and Anna just runs off…oh, come on, Elsa; be sensible. Do you want Anna to stay and talk and get both you and her in trouble? No, you don't. Besides, Anna had no way of knowing whether you intended to reply or not. _Elsa crawled into the secret passages with her candle to light her way and made her way back outside. Setting her candle next to the secret entrance, she glanced up at the sky. _It's so cloudy…I hope it doesn't rain. I don't care about getting wet, but I'll care if I accidentally freeze the rain. _

Elsa found several small stones and ran down to the creek. She took her time tossing each stone into the water and watching it ripple through the current. _I'm so glad I can go outside, even if I'm-_ Elsa's thoughts were interrupted by a mysterious rustling sound. _I hope it's an animal of some kind…please, please, please let it be an animal…_ She picked up a few larger rocks to throw just in case and looked around warily. When a seemingly endless minute passed and nothing happened, Elsa relaxed. _I guess it was nothing._ Elsa went back to tossing stones in the creek. The plinking and splashing sounds from the stones made Elsa oblivious to the stealthy footsteps behind her.

* * *

><p>Inside the castle, Anna was at the window where she had talked to Elsa before. <em>Today's gonna have to be a gestures-conversation only day. I think we're both already being watched more than usual.<em> She was just about to open the window when she saw a suspicious-looking stranger come out of the trees and tap her sister on the shoulder. _Should I tell someone? I promised Elsa I wouldn't tell on her! Wait, what am I thinking-I HAVE to tell someone! Elsa might get hurt!_ Hoping beyond hope that she would have the chance to explain her actions to Elsa later, Anna turned from the window and ran off screaming for someone to go help her sister.

**A/N: Ok, so bad cliffhanger, I suppose. Next chapter coming soon.:)**

**Uh, please excuse that 'cause I'm happy song reference. It's burned into my brain so bad from hearing it different places.:P It was nice the first time, but now I'm thinking let it go already! Um...XD:P**

**Anna's 13...I don't know if she should be working on quadratic equations yet or not...um...anyway.:P (P.S. The quadratic formula really is way way easier than factoring or completing the square...XD Lol Also I think calling imaginary numbers "imaginary" really is dumb. They do make sense when you work with them, but the name is so dumb it's not even funny.;) *whistles innocently*)**


	5. When the Bottom Falls Out

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's following/reading but not reviewing!:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, that's true, sis.:P You do know you can get sunburned even in the winter, right?;) Besides, even if it were crazy hot outside (which it wasn't supposed to be, just warm), Elsa got sunburned while she was sleeping, so she didn't even know. Plus, in my "headcanon", Elsa couldn't feel temperatures at all until after she learned how to control her powers, so...yeah, I guess that was confusing. Anyhow...:P**

**Thepopcornpup-Glad you're enjoying it!:) Lol:P**

**Lindstrom-Yeah, I didn't think either of them would outright lie to their parents, so...yeah.:P Hence dodging and skirting questions.;) I'm glad you liked the cliffhanger...I thought it came off kinda crummy, but that was where I thought the chapter should end, so...:/ :)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-I'm glad you like it!:)**

**On to the story...:)**

Back outside, Elsa jumped at the tap on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" She turned to see a man about two heads taller than she was, and he was holding _what_? "That's my hat," she blurted in surprise. _I knew something was goofy about that hat going missing…what does this person want? _Elsa looked the stranger up and down. He wasn't a huge man, but he was still much bigger than Elsa herself. That look in his eyes told Elsa he was up to no good. Thoughts of kidnappers filled her mind as she edged around slowly so that she faced the creek and the stranger had his back to it. _I wonder if I can talk my way out of this…But I'm so awful at making small talk! I can barely talk with Anna properly._

"What's a pretty rich young miss such as yourself doing out here alone in the forest?" the man asked, noticing Elsa's well-made dress. He reached for Elsa's arm, but Elsa dodged sideways. "When I found this hat, I knew there had to be someone like you roaming around here."

_He doesn't know I'm the princess,_ Elsa realized. _Don't let him know that._ "Just taking a stroll," she said as she started to back away. _This man is trouble. I have to get away from him before he hurts me or I hurt him._

"Not so quickly, miss. Get back here." The man dashed towards Elsa, and she blindly threw the handful of rocks in her hand at him in a last-ditch attempt to get him to leave her alone. "Rocks?! What did you do that for?" he said angrily, rubbing his arm and head where Elsa's rocks had hit him.

"Maybe because I just want to be left alone! Go bother someone else!" Elsa cried as the man came close, far too close. Elsa shoved the man away from her as hard as she could in a panic. He caught her right hand as he tumbled into the creek. Elsa jerked away and her glove slipped off.

Before either Elsa or the man could purposely do anything else, the creek froze with the man still sitting in it. _Oh my goodness, how could I do that?! I just did that in front of a complete stranger! Mom and Dad are going to be so mad. Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa clutched her bare hand to her chest as she backed away. "I'm so sorry…" she whispered.

"You better be sorry, girl! What did you DO?!" The man was so surprised and _cold_ that he didn't know what to think. He couldn't believe that Elsa had frozen the creek just like that. The man let out a shrill whistle, calling his cohort.

Someone grabbed Elsa from behind, and although she couldn't see who it was, she was quite sure it was an accomplice to the man in the now-frozen creek. "Let me go! I could hurt you!" Much more of this, and Elsa was sure the whole area would be under solid ice. Already she was losing the little control she had. Ice spread under Elsa's feet. She was scared and the missing glove didn't help.

"Really? I should think you'd be worried the other way around, little lady," the someone said. "How could a young girl such as yourself hurt me?"

"Just look at your friend in the creek!" Elsa shouted as rain began pouring down. "I did that!"

The someone looked and then loosened his hold on Elsa in shock.

Elsa took that moment to attempt to hightail it out of there. The someone caught the end of Elsa's braid and yanked her back. "You're a little freak. You shouldn't be allowed out anywhere. Seriously? Ice? In the summer?"

Elsa blinked back tears. _I'm already not allowed out anywhere. I'm not even supposed to be out here. I guess this is why…I have to get away from here!_ Suddenly another idea popped into Elsa's frantic thoughts. If they thought she was a freak, maybe she could get them scared of her long enough for her to escape. "The little freak has ice powers, yes. LET. ME. GO!"

"Then why haven't you frozen us yet?" the someone smirked.

Elsa didn't know what to say to that. _Because I can't control it, and I hate hurting people. _She started trying to pull away again, but the someone refused to release her. "Stop pulling my hair!"

"You're the one pulling, not me."

"THEN LET ME GO!" Elsa's bare hand involuntarily sent icicles flying everywhere that narrowly missed hitting anyone. _Stop it, Elsa. Get it together._

* * *

><p>Elsa never thought she would be thinking it, but she was very relieved to see her father and a few guards enter the clearing. Remembering that these men didn't know she was the crown princess, she just shouted for help instead.<p>

"Release the girl," the king ordered, hoping that they had not realized Elsa was the crown princess. Agdar glanced around the clearing with a disapproving look. _She froze the creek…_

"Why, King Agdar, this girl is a little monster. She froze my friend in the creek, see?"

"That isn't for you to judge. Release her."

The man released Elsa and she started running as fast as she could through the rain to the entrance to the secret passages. _Dad didn't even deny it,_ Elsa thought miserably. It was one thing for her to accuse herself of those names, but when her father didn't attempt to deny it…

Agdar told the guards to take care of the two would-be kidnappers and went after Elsa. He caught up with her just as she was about to open the secret entrance. "You can't go back in that way. Those men will see the entrance."

"I don't think they can see me. Look how heavy it's raining," Elsa said. It was true; the rain was coming down in sheets and it was impossible to see farther than a couple feet.

"Point taken." Agdar opened the entrance and stepped inside, waiting for Elsa to follow.

Elsa almost would rather have stayed outside in the downpour whether it risked her freezing the rain or not. She reluctantly picked up her long-extinguished candle, stepped inside and then turned back to gaze outside.

The door to the secret entrance slid down, closing off Elsa's view.

"I don't suppose you have extra matches, do you?" Agdar asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Elsa said, resisting the urge to add _I'm not stupid_. She reached into her pocket with her bare hand and lit the candle. "Luckily they're still dry."

Agdar took the candle from Elsa and told her to follow him.

A few minutes and a few turns later, Elsa said, "This isn't the way back to my room. We should have turned the opposite direction two turns and one tunnel ago."

"We are going to the Great Hall."

_I must be in even more trouble than I thought. What is going to happen? _Elsa thought. A minute later and Elsa said, "This isn't the way to the Great Hall, either." It wasn't, but Elsa felt like an idiot for pointing it out. Why should she help with whatever was going to happen? She knew whatever it was couldn't be good. The longer they wandered around in the passages, the longer it would be before Elsa had to deal with whatever was going to happen. _I'm probably going to be kept from talking to Anna, I'm sure. Wait…how did Dad know I was in trouble? Anna must have told him I was outside…_

"If you're so smart, you take us to the Great Hall."

"Fine." Elsa took the candle and closed her eyes for a moment, picturing the map to the secret passages in her head. It was harder this time because this wasn't where she usually oriented herself in the passages. "This way." Elsa strode confidently up and down passages, down stairs, through a tunnel, down a chute, up a flight of stairs, and through a few more turns in the passages. _I am _not_ losing control this time, bare hand or not. No matter what happens,_ she promised herself. She was still shaken up from the whole thing that happened outside; she was mad and upset; and just…she wasn't sure what else. _When exactly did Anna tell on me?_ "Here is the secret entrance to the Great Hall."

"You have a remarkable sense of direction, Elsa," Agdar said. _She didn't get lost or make a wrong turn once. Although I shouldn't be surprised…Elsa has always had a good memory._ He and Elsa stepped into the Great Hall.

"Why am I here?" Elsa asked. "I know I'm in trouble, but why don't I just go back to my room?"

"Your mother and I need to discuss this whole…escapade with you."

_That wasn't a straight answer,_ Elsa thought. She clasped her hands behind her back out of her own sight.

"Starting with why were you outside after being specifically told not to?" Idun asked.

"Being outside makes me happy. It makes it easier to contain my powers, too," Elsa said. _Stay calm. Be reasonable. Don't explode._ "I even touched liquid water for an extended length of time without freezing it."

"You've been fine the last several years before you knew about the secret passages. You don't need to go outside to contain those powers of yours. Besides, you definitely were not in control outside earlier," Agdar said.

Elsa took a deep breath. _Those people were trying to kidnap me for goodness sakes! I don't think anyone on the planet could be in complete control if they were in my place. _"I have _not_ been fine the last eight years. I need to stay away from people because I'm dangerous, but staying in that room all the time does _not_ help. It makes everything worse than it already is." _That's the worst understatement ever._

"We thought you were old enough to know about the secret passages and not abuse the privilege of knowing about it. I guess we were wrong." In all truth, though, neither Agdar nor Idun had ever thought, even in passing, that Elsa would actually use the passages to go outdoors. After all, Elsa did not even like allowing them in her room; so why would she risk going outside where a stranger might see her? Also, the passages' layout was extremely convoluted and twisted; it was very easy to get lost. But Elsa's parents weren't surprised for _that_ reason. Elsa did like drawing complicated, detailed blueprints; and she also seemed to have an almost photographic memory. She'd read or see things once or twice and remember tiny details that most people would miss.

_I have not 'abused the privilege'. I have told no one about them. I haven't done anything wrong. _Elsa said nothing, but she clenched her gloved hand around her bare fist as she tried to maintain control.

"And another thing…the only reason we knew you were in danger at all was because Anna warned us. How did she know to be looking out that particular window at _just_ the right time?"

_I knew it!_ "When did Anna tell on me?" Elsa asked.

"About five minutes before I found you in that clearing. Why am I telling you this?"

_Because I asked, maybe?_ Elsa frowned, but she was happy Anna hadn't ratted on her for no reason. _Anna just told on me to keep me safe. Wait, how much did Anna see of what happened outside? Did she see me lose it and make all that ice? Freeze the creek?_ Elsa felt ice slipping out from her bare hand. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal don't feel…_

"How long has Anna known you've been going outside?"

Elsa gave her father a clear-cut answer. "Since the day you said I couldn't go out there anymore."

"So you've been talking to her."

"I have, yes." _It isn't going to matter what I say. I may as well admit it now as anytime._

"You've been putting your sister in danger every time you have talked to her. Do you realize that?"

Elsa struggled to hold back tears. _Have I, really? I mean, I didn't touch her and I always made sure not to get too close to her… Should I have just kept ignoring her? I don't know! I just don't know!_ "No comment," she said flatly. _I do know one thing, though. If something happens that I can't ever talk to Anna again, I…I…I don't know what I'll do…_

"No comment? Is that all you have to say? Do you even care? You're becoming a cold, heartless person."

Years of concealing her deepest emotions kept Elsa from bursting into sobs or screaming in anger, although she couldn't keep the ice from forming on the floor under her feet. _Is that what you really think of me? Whatever else is wrong with me, being heartless is not one of them. I KNOW that. If that were really true, I wouldn't be…be…be hurting like this. You know what, Elsa? Let them think whatever they want. No one will ever know the real you. If they want to think you're as cold on the inside as your uncontrollable powers are on the outside, so be it. Why bother trying to explain what no one will understand?_ "Well, I am the 'freak with the uncontrollable ice powers'. Cold fits. May I please go upstairs now?"

"Not yet. Do you see now why you weren't supposed to go outside? Those men were dangerous. They were trying to kidnap you."

"I see why I can't go outside alone…" The thought of those men outside made Elsa shudder, but she couldn't stand losing her tiny bit of freedom either. "But what if a guard went out there with me? I'd make sure not to get too close."

"No, Elsa. That won't work. You just can't go outside."

_Why, because you want to keep me in that room forever? It's not fair. It's just not._ Elsa managed to keep her face void of expression, but she felt so conflicted on the inside she could hardly stand it. _Just maintain composure a few minutes more, Elsa. If you have to, you can lose it later in your room. Not here._

"Do not talk to Anna anymore. I'll have to talk to Anna about this whole knocking thing, too. Also, I can see we're going to have to change the locks on the door."

Elsa stood ramrod straight, biting her lip. _I _will not_ lose control. I won't. Changing the locks on the door…so I'm unable to open the door to Anna even if I want to. So my room will be a literal prison, no matter how 'comfortable' it might be._ "C-c-can I still go in the secret passages and not go outside?"

"Oh, very well. That can't harm anyone."

_At least I still have that._ Elsa tried to concentrate on that one small good thing.

Gerda came into the Great Hall just then, saying that Anna said something about Elsa being in trouble and what happened? One look told Gerda that Elsa had gotten out of the trouble outside but now she was in a different sort of trouble.

"Take Princess Elsa back to her room, Gerda," Agdar said.

Elsa gladly followed Gerda out of the Great Hall. The moment she knew they were out of her parents' earshot, she couldn't keep the tears in any longer. _I should have known the last couple of days were too good to be true...too good to last._

"Princess, are you all right?" Gerda asked.

"No! I'm not! I've lost Anna yet again and…and…oh, I can't talk about it!" Elsa ran ahead and up the staircase, thinking all the while that this was probably the last time she would see the castle outside her room.

* * *

><p>In the hallway upstairs, Anna stood outside Elsa's room waiting for Elsa. She was sure Elsa would have to be coming upstairs soon. Sure enough, a moment later Elsa came running down the hall.<p>

Elsa wasn't looking where she was going and ran right into Anna, who grabbed her and held her tight. Elsa was too surprised to move, although her mind was screaming at her to get Anna away from her dangerous self.

Anna couldn't help but relish the moment. She was hugging Elsa for the first time in eight years. And although Elsa was standing there stiff as a board, she wasn't pulling away either. _And Elsa's so cold! Why is she so cold? I know it's not nearly that cold outside, even though it's dumping like crazy._

Gerda came into the upstairs hall to a surprising sight. There was Elsa standing stiffly with her arms clamped to her sides, and Anna was hugging her tight. She didn't want to interrupt the two girls, so she stood back and said nothing.

"Elsa, I…I…love you," Anna whispered.

That was the last straw for Elsa. "Anna, I…I…it's not safe. I need to go in my room." She pulled away from Anna and ran inside her room and locked the door. Then she quietly said, "I love you too, Anna," from inside. _Why? Why?! WHY?! I'm never going to see Anna again. I _hate_ this! It isn't fair! Why can't I control it? Am I just stupid or something? Why can't I go outside with a guard or something as long as I stay away? Why can't that horrid door stay as it is? Why do I have to be physically locked in here now? And I'm _not_ heartless; I'm not! _Elsa felt a wave of anger wash over her. Suddenly, she just didn't care one bit that there was ice spreading all over the floor. On impulse, she took off her one remaining glove and threw it across the room into the corner. _I'm never going to be able to control it, so why even try any more? _She felt like _breaking_ something, _destroying_ something; something, anything, to vent her feelings out on. Elsa deliberately shot a razor-sharp icicle toward the window. It shattered into hundreds of shards of glass, letting the driving rain outside come in, but Elsa didn't care. _What do you think of _that_, Mom and Dad? I shot an icicle on purpose. So there._ A thick sheet of ice spread across one wall, and Elsa began hurling icicle after icicle at it. _That's for locking me in here!_ Another icicle. _That's for those creepy men outside that ruined everything in the first place! _Another icicle. _That's for me being a failure at controlling this!_ Another icicle. _That's for not letting me even talk to Anna! _Another icicle. _That's for calling me heartless! _Another icicle. _That's for myself just being such a stupid dummy for ever hoping things were getting better after a few days of being so much happier!_ Elsa kept shooting icicles, one for every single thing that bothered her, sometimes shooting extra icicles for especially bad things. She went on and on for a long time until she started feeling dizzy and tired and it was actually difficult for her to shoot her icicles. _Wait, it's difficult for me to shoot icicles…maybe, just maybe…_ Elsa was struck by the idea that maybe if she kept doing this long enough, maybe she could shoot all the ice right out of her. _Then I could be around Anna and all this horrible madness would stop._ Hoping her idea would work, Elsa began shooting icicles with newfound energy faster and faster. _Come on, please, please let this work…_ The walls and floor seemed to warp and dip wildly around her, but Elsa kept going, stumbling as she tried to keep her footing.

Thirty long minutes later, Elsa collapsed to the floor when her legs gave out under her. _It worked. I'll get to…see…Anna…_ she thought in a daze when she lifted her tired hand one last time and nothing happened before she blacked out.

* * *

><p>Gerda came knocking on Elsa's door with her dinner. "It's Gerda, Princess Elsa. I have your dinner."<p>

There was no answer.

Gerda knocked again, this time a bit harder. "Princess?" Gerda thought that maybe Elsa was too shaken to answer the door at the moment, so she set Elsa's dinner right outside the door and said, "I'll just leave your dinner out here so you can get it whenever you're ready."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Anna tiptoed down the hall to Elsa's room. She'd been told in no uncertain terms not to 'bother Elsa' anymore, but she was determined to keep knocking no matter what. Anna noticed Elsa's dinner sitting untouched outside the door and stopped dead in her tracks. <em>Why hasn't Elsa gotten her dinner? Gerda left that up here ten or so minutes ago, I know…what is going on? <em>Anna took the risk of trying Elsa's door, but it was no use. The door was locked. _I gotta go find Gerda. Something's wrong, I just know it!_ She took off down the hall and slid down the staircase banister. When she saw Gerda heading in the direction of the Great Hall, she said, "Gerda, something's the matter with Elsa! I was just outside her door, and she hasn't touched her dinner since you left it there…"

"Goodness, that's strange…Princess Anna, why don't you go back upstairs and not have anything to do with this? Unless I miss my guess, you wanted to talk to your sister and I know you were forbidden to do that. I don't want either you or her to get in more trouble. I'll tell your parents what's happening. How's that?"

"Can't you just find out what's the matter with Elsa yourself? Please?" Anna asked. "She usually lets you in her room…"

"Princess, I cannot barge into your sister's room without either her or your parents' permission. It isn't proper," Gerda told her.

"Oh, fine. Just…make sure Elsa knows I'm sorry I ratted on her, even if it was 'cause I was trying to keep her safe." With those words, Anna turned and ran back upstairs to her own room.

**A/N: I would love feedback on Elsa's outburst in her room. Is it out of character to you? It seemed believable to me...EVERYONE has the potential to get really angry under the right conditions...opinions, please?**

** Next chapter coming soon.:) **


	6. Together Temporarily

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited! *jumps about like a crazy person*XD Also thanks to everyone who's reading but not reviewing.:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Because she genuinely believes it's not safe for her to be close to Anna. She just wants to be allowed to talk to Anna through the door.:) Don't worry, Elsa won't run away in the story. She might think being away from everyone will fix everything, but she definitely isn't going to make plans to run away.:)**

**Thepopcornpup-Lol, you made me laugh. Yeah, eyes literally bulging out would be pretty ickyXDXD But I'm glad you liked it!:) That's what I thought too...that Elsa has a right to be mad. Thanks for the confirmation!:)**

**Lindstrom-No kidding! Even in the movie, they're all like 'Elsa what have you done? This is getting out of hand!' Um, she's 8 at that point for one thing, and they should have asked what exactly happened...:/ I don't care how much Agdar and Idun genuinely did or did not 'care' about Elsa; they DEFINITELY didn't "approve" of her or her powers. (My opinion, anyway) Therefore I don't think they treated her fairly at all...ok, I'm going on way too long about this.:P Anyway, thanks for the confirmation about Elsa's reaction; that's what I thought too but I wanted others' opinions:) I'm glad you like "my" Elsa:)**

**On to the story...:)**

After Gerda explained the problem to the king and queen, they hurried upstairs. Several knocks later, Agdar finally said, "Elsa, if you don't unlock the door, we're going to open it ourselves."

No answer.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw inside Elsa's room. Rain poured in the shattered window. Tiny shards of glass lay all over the window seat and on the floor surrounding the window. The entire floor was a sheet of ice. One wall was covered with ice, and hundreds of icicles were lodged in the ice all over the wall. And then there was Elsa, lying on her side in the middle of the floor; her bare hands held close to her chest even though she wasn't awake. There were dried tears streaking Elsa's face, but her expression didn't look unhappy. She was almost smiling.

_Wait, bare hands? _the king thought. "Elsa did this on purpose for some reason."

"King Agdar, I'm sure Princess Elsa didn't mean anything," Gerda said in Elsa's defense. "And…I don't think she's just sleeping. She would have woken up by now…"

"Gerda is right, Agdar…Elsa's unconscious, and she's shivering," Idun said as she knelt down beside Elsa. "Something is wrong! Elsa is never affected by the cold." She hesitated before grabbing Elsa's cold hands to rub them to warm them up. "Gerda, do you know what happened here?" Idun asked, holding up Elsa's still-bandaged left hand.

"Goodness, I don't know. Princess Elsa never said anything about hurting herself. May I suggest moving the princess somewhere warmer if she's cold? It's wet and freezing in here…" Gerda said.

"Good idea. We'll take her to one of the guest rooms."

* * *

><p>When Elsa came to later that evening, the first coherent thought that came to mind was, <em>My plan worked. I can see Anna now. It's safe.<em> The next thing her mind registered was that she felt horrible. Elsa felt hollow and empty all over, like something was missing inside; and she felt like she was going to throw up. _That's stupid. I haven't even eaten anything. What's wrong with me? Why can't I move?_ Elsa slowly blinked her eyes open and saw four faces staring down at her. _Dad, Mom, Gerda, Anna…Anna! I see Anna! _"Anna…" she said almost inaudibly.

"Are you ok, Elsa? What happened?" Anna asked.

Not thinking, Elsa started to say, "I shot i-" and Anna was promptly escorted from the room before she could say anything else. A moment later, Elsa realized what she had been about to say and whispered, "I'm sorry…" as a single tear rolled down her cheek. _I lost Anna again._ Elsa's eyes scanned her surroundings. _This isn't my room._ "Where am I?"

"One of the guest rooms. We found you unconscious on the floor in your room, which coincidentally was absolutely full of ice," Agdar said. "What were you doing?"

Elsa's tired eyes began to drift shut again. "I feel awful. Like I'm going…to throw up or something… And all hollow and empty…" _I don't care what anyone thinks I was doing. The important thing is that I got rid of that…that ice inside me._ She just needed to explain that to her parents and then they would get Anna and everything would be fine.

"Do you need a bucket?"

"No…I haven't eaten anything…can Anna please come back?" Elsa struggled to stay awake. "It's…safe for her now…"

Gerda had been thinking about the mess they'd found in Elsa's room and put the pieces together. "King Agdar, Queen Idun…I think Princess Elsa made all that ice on purpose, but she was trying to get all her powers out of herself somehow. That's why she feels 'empty' and why she was shivering when we found her in her room."

"Is that true, Elsa?" Idun asked.

"Yes…" Elsa said, her eyes still closed even though she was technically awake. _Well, it started because I got angry, but…I did it for so long because I wanted to try to get rid of all that swirling cold inside and be safe for Anna… _"It worked, too…see?" She managed to lift her right hand a little, tried to use her powers, and failed. The only indication of Elsa's abilities was that the temperature of her skin dropped, nothing visible. No ice or snow. Elsa's hand dropped limply back on the bed. "Can Anna _please_ come back?"

"Are you pretending to be unable to use your powers?"

Elsa's blue eyes blinked open again. "Do you honestly…think I have enough…control to try something like that?" _That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I could never do that…even if I actually wanted to…and believe me, right now I want to, even if that IS an outright lie…_ "I just…want Anna to…come back…" Elsa's eyes shut once more and she fell asleep without trying to.

"Let Anna come back, Agdar," Idun said. "You _know_ Elsa isn't faking. She wouldn't be able to do that even if she wanted to."

"True. I'll get Anna." Agdar came back a minute later with a very excited Anna. "Now, Anna, your sister is sick. Don't wake her up."

"Yeah, yeah," Anna replied. _You fibbed that Elsa was sick and said that was why I couldn't be around her…and now that she genuinely is ill, I can be with her? Ok, then. That doesn't make much sense…_ Anna was confused, but she certainly wasn't going to question it. She pulled up a chair next to the bed where Elsa lay and plopped into it as she took Elsa's bare hand in hers. _Elsa isn't wearing gloves now…I wonder why. Maybe she takes them off when she goes to sleep, _Anna decided.

Agdar and Idun left the room, telling Gerda to stay and keep an eye on the girls. "There's something we need to discuss together," Agdar explained.

The second their parents left the room, Anna asked Gerda, "Is Elsa's hand ok? She told me she cut it the other day, but she wouldn't show me." Anna eyed Elsa's other hand, the one with the bandage on it.

"She's fine, princess. I checked it earlier before she woke up. Evidently, your sister had already taken good care of it herself," Gerda said.

Anna frowned. "You mean…Elsa didn't get someone to take care of it for her? She did it herself instead?" Anna squeezed her sister's hand, which made Elsa stir awake.

Elsa felt someone holding her hand and instantly started trying to pull away from instinct. "Anna?" she asked when she realized just who it was. _Anna. I have to make her let go, just in case. She's touching my bare hand!_ She kept trying to tug her hand out of Anna's grasp, but she still felt too weak to make much of a fuss.

"Right here, Elsa. Do you feel better now?" Anna asked as she brushed messy wisps of platinum hair out of Elsa's face.

"Not really, but I…do because you're…here now," Elsa said. "You shouldn't touch me…I think it's safe right now but…" _It's safe right now but this isn't permanent…I can feel it._ Elsa suddenly had a sinking feeling that as soon as she recovered and felt better, those powers of hers would be back at full strength. _This time with Anna is temporary. Enjoy it as much as possible, because it'll probably never happen again. No, I _know_ it'll never happen again…_

"Can I get you anything?" Anna asked. "Maybe some dinner? I know you haven't eaten anything."

The notion of food made Elsa feel like she wanted to throw up all the more. "No food…can I have my gloves back though? Please?"

Anna made a silly face. "What, you think I have cooties or something?" Anna turned to Gerda. "Will you please get my sister, Miss Germophobe, what she wants?"

"Yes, princess," Gerda said and left the room.

Elsa giggled quietly but didn't attempt to convince Anna otherwise. _As long as Anna thinks that, no matter how silly it is; I won't have to worry about trying to explain about those powers._

"I'm sorry I ratted on you earlier," Anna said suddenly. "Did I get you in huge trouble?"

"Don't be sorry, Anna. You did it because I…was in danger, not because you thought… 'Mwahaha, I'm gonna tattle on Elsa and get her in trouble!' I'm not mad at you…at all. All right, I admit it…I did get in huge…trouble, but it's not your fault." Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, trying to keep from crying and forget about what was going to happen the moment she was better. "Maybe I shouldn't…shouldn't have gone outside in the first place…"

Anna frowned. _Is Elsa really blaming herself for what happened? If she were allowed outside that room in the first place, she wouldn't have had to sneak outside…_ "Elsa…what exactly happened? Define 'huge trouble.'"

Gerda came back with the gloves, relieving Elsa of having to answer Anna's question. "Here, Princess Elsa."

_I hate those things. I hate needing them,_ Elsa thought. "Thank you, Gerda."

Anna reluctantly slipped the gloves over her sister's waiting fingers. "Now I can't hold your hand properly," Anna complained.

_That's kind of the point_, Elsa thought sadly. Out loud she said, "Just pretend they're not there, Anna." She gave Anna's hand a weak squeeze.

"Hmph. Well, if I gotta choose between you locked in your room or me holding your hand even if you're wearing gloves, I'll certainly choose the second," Anna declared.

_So would I, Anna. So would I. But sometime soon I'll be back in that room and we won't even have this. And it won't be safe anymore._ Elsa gave Anna a sad smile, but said nothing. _I love you, Anna._

Finally happy and contented even though she was certain this was temporary, Elsa fell asleep, her hand still clutching Anna's tightly. A few minutes later, Anna was asleep, too.

No one realized that all the ice back in Elsa's room had completely disappeared.

* * *

><p>Gerda left the two sleeping girls upstairs and headed downstairs to tell the king and queen that Elsa and Anna were both asleep. Downstairs in the Great Hall, Agdar and Idun were having a discussion. "You can't really be thinking about doing that," Idun said, frowning.<p>

"Idun, she made herself seriously ill just to see Anna. You know as well as I do that making that huge mess in her room didn't permanently get rid of her powers. It's just temporary. This might be the only way to keep everyone safe."

"We cannot go and fix up that old cell with the special shackles in the dungeon for our own daughter! There's something wrong with that picture, don't you think? What would Elsa think if she found out about it? She'd be devastated."

"You know why that cell exists in the first place, don't you? Long time ago, my own great-great-grandmother had powers just like Elsa's. She never did learn how to control it. Her powers became so dangerous and out of control that she made that cell for herself because people wanted to kill her for having those powers. That was the 'compromise' she came up with. And she spent the rest of her life down there until she…" Agdar said.

"That is not going to happen to our daughter, Agdar. I'm sure Elsa will figure it out eventually."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Well, then…I don't know…"

"Then it's settled. We'll have to fix it up and clean it out, just in case. Also, Elsa has been acting up lately…what if she starts freezing things on purpose or something?"

Gerda stood outside the Great Hall, finding this whole conversation strange and horrifying. She gave a loud knock before entering the Great Hall. "Both Princess Elsa and Princess Anna are fast asleep." She turned to head back upstairs, but Agdar called her back.

"How much of that conversation did you overhear?"

"I heard enough," Gerda said with a frown. _Enough to know that whole idea is terrible._

"Elsa and Anna are not to know anything about this, do you understand?"

"Of course…King Agdar, may I have permission to speak my opinion on the matter?"

"You have permission to speak freely."

"Thank you. Now, my opinion…King Agdar, that is a horrible idea! Princess Elsa is still a child-she's only sixteen. How could you even consider locking her in the dungeon? She tries her best to control her powers all the time…she's done nothing wrong."

"That mess of ice in her room did not look very controlled to me. She also kept going outside and talking to Anna after being told not to."

"She was trying to _get rid_ of her powers! Something that's a physical part of her! She also made herself sick in the process. And you can't expect her to stay in that room forever or _never_ talk to her own sister…"

"That's enough, Gerda. It's for Elsa's own good, not to mention everyone else's. I withdraw permission for you to speak freely."

"Very well. Good night, King Agdar, Queen Idun." Gerda turned and headed back upstairs to keep an eye on the two sleeping princesses.

* * *

><p>"Wait! Slow down!" … "Anna…sorry…accident! Please…" Elsa's distressed voice woke Anna up later in the middle of the night.<p>

"Elsa? What's the matter?" Anna asked. She fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on the nightstand.

"…I didn't mean to…" Elsa said.

_Didn't mean to what?_ Anna wondered. She frowned at her sleeping sister. Elsa was crying in her sleep. "Elsa, it's ok. Everything's fine. Just a yucky dream," Anna said softly as she took Elsa's hands in hers.

Elsa blinked sleepily up at Anna. "What's…going on?"

"I think you were having a nightmare…something you didn't mean to or something. But it's over, Elsa. It's fine. We're just here together. Nothing happened."

_It's not fine. That wasn't just a dream. That really happened. And I can't even tell you about it._ Elsa's tears began anew, and she held Anna's hand as if her life depended on it.

"Elsa, please stop crying! It was just an icky dream. Elsa?" Anna wasn't sure what to do. Finally, she wiggled her hand out of Elsa's grasp and sat down on the bed next to Elsa. Then Anna helped Elsa to a sitting position and pulled her close, letting Elsa cry on her shoulder. And she wondered again why her sister's body felt so cold.

_You shouldn't hug me. Why do you even want to after all that time? It's safe right now, but I know it won't be soon._ Elsa couldn't believe Anna would want to try to comfort her when she hadn't even explained what the problem was, but she didn't question it further to either herself or aloud to Anna. Elsa buried her face in Anna's shoulder and let the tears flow.

Neither she nor Anna said a word to the other. Being together was enough.

* * *

><p>The next morning found the two sisters asleep together tangled in each other's arms. Elsa woke up first, as she usually awoke far earlier than Anna did. She was actually disappointed to find that she felt a little better, because that meant she wouldn't get much more safe time with Anna. <em>At least I don't feel like I'm going to barf anymore. That icky hollow and empty feeling can stay as long as possible though, because I know that has something to do with my powers. <em>Elsa was right; her body felt as if there were something missing because there really was-she'd purged nearly all of the innate powers of everything cold inside her the day before. She wiggled herself out of Anna's arms and gave her sister a gentle shake. "Anna? Wake up!"

Anna mumbled something incoherent that ended with something about chocolate.

Elsa giggled and shook Anna harder before flopping back against the pillows, having used up the little energy she had. "Anna, we aren't having chocolate for breakfast!"

Anna sat up straight. "We're having chocolate for breakfast?! Yum!"

"I said we AREN'T having chocolate for breakfast," Elsa replied, still giggling.

"Rats. By the way, you look way better this morning, Elsa. I'm glad you're getting better! You kinda scared me last night, staying unconscious like that for all that time," Anna said.

"I'm not glad," Elsa mumbled, looking away from Anna. _It means we don't have much more safe time together._

Anna frowned. "Why not?"

Elsa tried to think of a way to explain her thoughts to Anna without saying anything about uncontrollable ice powers. "Because…because the second I'm recovered, I know I'll be back in my room. It won't be safe anymore…"

_That makes about zero sense…why does Elsa keep saying it's not safe for me to be around her? I bet Mom and Dad are putting dumb ideas in her head. Wait, I know…_ "That 'not safe' thing is so dumb. You are not dangerous. But if you're so sure that's what will happen when you're all the way better, maybe you could pretend to be sicker than you are so we get more time together?" Anna suggested.

_I can't do that. It's physically impossible for me to do that…_ Elsa thought, although she really wished she could do that, even if it was kind of lying. _Actually that's outright lying, not kinda sorta lying._ "Anna, I can't do that…."

"Sure you can! Just do like this!" Anna proceeded to make what she thought was a pitiful expression but really just looked amusing.

Elsa began giggling again. "If I made that face at our parents, they would know for certain I was faking. And also think I had rocks in my head. Do you realize how funny you looked just now?"

Anna pretended to look put out but couldn't help laughing. "You don't appreciate my acting?"

"Not if I'm supposed to take it seriously! It was great for a comedy act, though. If you're going to make a _good_ acting face, try this…" Elsa made her own pitiful expression before smiling back at Anna. "How was that?"

"Elsa, don't _do_ that. That was a little too convincing for my taste," Anna said, frowning. _Was she really a hundred percent acting?_

"I thought that was the point."

"Yeah, but that was too good. It didn't even look like you were just acting… But hey, that's a good thing if you're trying to be convincing to someone else! Do that again when our parents come in here!"

"No. I can't," Elsa said roughly, turning her face away from Anna. _I will not let them see me that way, no matter how I really feel. No crying; no sniveling; no appearing hurt or shaken. If they want cold, then that's what they'll get. A detached and completely emotionless me. That's what I'm supposed to be anyway, perfect all the time…conceal, don't feel… _She hadn't forgotten how hurt she had felt at the accusation of being cold and heartless. _Maybe I'll let _Anna_ see the real me though. Nobody else. Except that once I'm better, I won't be able to feel anymore without completely losing control again; it won't be safe…I wish I were just normal…_

Anna knew there was something else to Elsa's words, something she was probably not going to share. _She isn't mad…she's upset about something…_ "Elsa, look at me."

Elsa slowly turned her head back towards Anna but said nothing. Elsa's expression was so blankly neutral it would have been unnerving if it weren't for her blue eyes betraying her genuine stormy feelings.

Anna did a double take at her sister's expression. _Well, if you want to call it that…_ "Elsa, stop making that face. If you're upset or mad or whatever, it's fine."

"No, it isn't." _And I can't even explain why…_ Elsa closed her eyes and reached for Anna's hand. _I will not ruin the little bit of time we have together._

Anna frowned but didn't say anything more. She remembered that Elsa could be very stubborn when she wanted to be from when they were little. "Well, um…do you maybe want some breakfast?" Anna asked to change the subject.

Anna was rewarded with a small smile from Elsa. "Are you sure you want to ask that? I might barf on you," she teased. _You shouldn't have said that, Elsa. What would Mom and Dad think, the crown princess joking about throw-up? Never mind, I don't care. Too bad. They're not in here to hear me anyway. That _was_ funny, if I dare say so myself…_

"EW! GROSS! I hate throw up!" Anna squealed and jumped away from Elsa. She realized Elsa was teasing when she heard quiet giggles. "That wasn't funny, Elsa!" Then she remembered that Elsa didn't get Anna's teasing show-off joke before and got upset instead, so she added, "Well, it's kinda funny. Just, like, not, you know, hilarious funny."

Gerda knocked on the door and said she had breakfast for Anna, and Elsa too if she wanted it.

"The door's already open," Anna called.

"Thank you for not saying 'The door is unlocked'," Elsa said quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anna asked.

"Never mind." Elsa didn't want to explain the significance of that particular phrase to her.

"Ha! I thought you said we weren't having chocolate for breakfast," Anna said triumphantly when Gerda handed her a plate of chocolate-chip pancakes.

"We're not…are we?" Elsa started trying to sit up on her own, but only made it about halfway before flopping back down on her back. "Good grief, what is _wrong_ with me? I can't even sit up properly…And wait, I do smell chocolate…are they chocolate-chip pancakes?"

"I can see you're feeling a little better, Princess Elsa," Gerda said with a smile as she helped Elsa sit up and lean against the pillows. "Don't scare us like you did last night again!"

_I wonder if I can just do that again after I'm all the way better…then I would get to have more time with Anna._ As nasty as Elsa had felt when she'd come to the night before, she would feel like that a hundred times over if it meant she could safely spend time with Anna. "May I have a pancake, please?" she asked.

"Duh, Elsa, of course you can! Why do you think Gerda brought our breakfast in here?" Anna said, and handed Elsa the breakfast tray.

"Thank you, Anna," Elsa replied, sniffing the delicious-smelling pancakes. She and Anna ate in a happy silence for a few minutes until Elsa started feeling exhausted again. _But I don't want to take a nap. What if I wake up and feel completely better? Then it'll be bye-bye safe time with Anna…_ She stifled a yawn.

"Princess Elsa, perhaps you should rest and take a nap?" Gerda suggested.

"I don't want to…I want to stay awake and be with Anna."

"Elsa, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here all the time," Anna assured her.

_That's not it, Anna. It's me. Stupid, uncontrollable me._ "That's not it…I don't want to go to sleep and wake up back in my room or something," Elsa said. _Especially since my room's door is going to have the locks changed, which is completely unfair and rather creepy…_

"Not happening. Elsa, take a nap. I'll even wake you up in a couple hours if you want me to," Anna replied.

"Well…" Despite her protests, Elsa found herself falling asleep. "I love…you, Anna…" Her mind half-registered Anna pulling the covers around her shoulders, and thought, _Thank you, Anna, even though I can't feel temperatures…_

Anna flopped on the bed next to Elsa and began reading a book until Elsa woke up.

* * *

><p>When their parents came to check on them a few minutes later, Elsa was fast asleep and Anna was still reading. "How is Elsa doing?" Idun asked.<p>

"She ate one pancake before getting all tired again and falling asleep," Anna said. "So I guess she's a little better. Mom, Dad…Elsa actually said she wasn't glad that she felt a little better because the second she was recovered, she'd be back in her room. That's not normal. Elsa actually _wants_ to be sick so everything's not back like it was before…can't we change some things around here? Please? I've missed Elsa tons. It's so nice to get to be around her, even if she's sick and can't really play with me…" Anna put her arm around Elsa and gave her a hug, which woke her up.

Elsa blinked for a moment before focusing and remembering where she was. She smiled and was about to hug Anna back when she noticed who else was in the room. _Go away. I want Anna to myself, without worrying I'm doing something wrong every minute._ Elsa put on that same blankly neutral expression that she'd done earlier.

Anna noticed Elsa's abruptly changing mood and frowned. "Elsa, what's wrong?"

When their parents asked Elsa how she was feeling, Anna immediately had the answer.

"Does it matter? Leave me alone." Elsa's words were almost spat out. _You just want to know if I'm better enough that those dumb powers are back. Well, they're not, not yet, and I'm very glad._ She turned over, away from their parents, and pulled the covers over her head. _Ok, why did I do that? I just wasted my little bit of energy doing that._

"Elsa, we just want to know how you're doing. Can we do anything for you?"

_Yeah, just LEAVE ME ALONE._ "No." Elsa's voice was muffled under the covers.

Elsa listened as Anna was sent out of the room because 'we need to talk to Elsa'. _Now I _know _what Mom and Dad want to talk about._ "Anna will eavesdrop outside the door. And quite honestly, I hope she is," Elsa said as she struggled to turn back over and look at her parents.

"Gerda, please make sure Anna isn't right outside the door," Idun said.

Gerda obliged. Sure enough, Anna _was_ standing right outside the door. "Come along, princess, you can come back later."

"But I don't wanna leave Elsa!" Elsa heard Anna say.

"Now Elsa, be honest: Are you well enough that your powers are back?" Agdar asked.

_I knew it._ "Why?" Elsa asked.

"You know why."

Elsa kept her expression unreadable, but she was more than a little angry on the inside. She said nothing.

"Answer please, or you'll have to go back to your room anyway. The truth now."

"Fine. No, they're not back yet, and I'm glad. Trust me, if my powers were back, this room would probably be covered with ice right now." Elsa's expression stayed neutral, but her blue eyes were flashing. She was angry.

Agdar and Idun exchanged a glance. "Is that a threat?"

Elsa said nothing but kept that piercing gaze of hers on her parents. _Yeah, it is. Honestly I don't know if I'd follow through with it or not…meh, I probably would involuntarily…_

"You won't mind if we just test that, would you?"

_As a matter of fact, I do mind._ Elsa still said nothing, just kept staring.

"And do stop staring like that. It's unnerving."

_Good. I don't care. _Elsa kept quiet.

"Elsa, please try to use your powers. If you can't, we'll get Anna and leave you both alone for awhile again."

That got Elsa's attention. She did want Anna to come back. Elsa slipped off one glove and attempted to shoot an icicle at the window. _This had better not work because purposely breaking a window is definitely obnoxious. Although, at the moment, I don't particularly care…_

**A/N: So, kinda sorta cliffhanger...IDK.:) Anyway, more coming soon! I'll probably take longer to update this time because I don't have any more written. (I know what will happen, but I haven't written it out yet:P)**

**So...that was my explanation of that cell Elsa was locked in during the movie. I found it abhorrently creepy if her parents actually built the whole place for her, so that's my explanation. There wasn't enough time for Hans to have that built, so it had to have already been there. So, ta-da! This also kind of explains where Elsa's powers came from. They run in her family.:) (Maybe it's a recessive gene or something, IDK:P)**

**I know Elsa is angry at the moment, but like I thought and what some of you guys thought too; I think she has good reason to be. Anyway...:/**

**Next chapter coming sometime soon!:)**


	7. Together Temporarily-Part II

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's favorited/followed and/or reading but not reviewing:)**

**Lindstrom-Confused and dysfunctional is right:/ Thanks for the compliment.:) Awesome, I'm glad you like the way Anna is acting:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Lol, thanksXD I thought that part was funny too, actually...;) (My sister and I have said that to each other before, so...yeah:P And also were told it was disgusting;) I guess parents have no sense of humor sometimes...XD)**

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa felt a tingling sensation in her fingertips, but no icicle appeared. _Well, at least they're not _really _back yet_, she thought. She looked at her hand anyway and was disappointed to find a barely detectable sheen of frost on her palm. _No, no, no, please don't come back yet…_ "It doesn't work," Elsa said.

"And it's lucky for you it didn't. You were going to shoot your ice at the window. You already broke the one in your room."

_And what of it? It's just glass. _Elsa quickly reached for her glove before her parents noticed the frost on her palm that she didn't know how to get rid of.

"Let me see your hand, Elsa."

Elsa sighed and reluctantly held out her bare hand. _Come on, just don't notice the frost. That's the worst I can do when I'm purposely trying to use my powers right now, so I'll still be safe around Anna a little while longer._

"There's frost on your hand. I think we should help you back to your room…"

"No!" Elsa exclaimed, and jerked her hand away. _Calm down, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel…no emotions right now. _"That is the absolute worst thing I can do right now. I'll still be safe for Anna to be around a little longer." She thought about adding, 'Besides, I don't think I can walk to my room right now anyway'; but then thought better of it since somebody had to have carried her into the guest room in the first place. Therefore, that was an invalid argument.

"How are you going to explain frost on your hand to Anna?"

"I won't have to. I'll keep the gloves on; I promise," Elsa said. _Please, please, please just let Anna come back now. Every minute that passes I'm burning daylight, wasting time I could be spending with Anna instead. Wait, "burning daylight"…the girl with ICE powers is thinking about burning daylight…_ Elsa found this thought amusing. She was the farthest thing from burning or hot. _Maybe I should be thinking, "freezing daylight" instead!_

"Elsa, what on earth is so amusing?"

"Mmm…nothing," Elsa said, making sure to wipe the amused expression off her face. She was sure her parents would _not_ think her wordplay was funny. "Well, can Anna come back now?"

As it turned out, no one had to answer that question because Anna came running into the room with a bowl of chocolates, jumped on the bed, and accidentally dumped half the chocolates on top of her and Elsa. "Um, oops? Sorry, Elsa!"

Elsa bit her tongue to keep from bursting out laughing. _Saved by crazy Anna. She came back on her own._ "It's fine, Anna."

"Where did you get an entire bowl of chocolate, Anna?" Idun asked.

"I might have kinda sorta gotten it out of the kitchen myself? Anyway, I got it for Elsa and me to share. I won't eat it _all_," Anna said. She started putting all the spilled chocolates back in the bowl.

"Well, don't feed a ton of chocolate to your sister. She's still sick."

"Chocolate'll make her feel better," Anna answered confidently.

Elsa spoke up, "I _am_ right here, you know. And if you please, I think I can tell if I've overdosed on chocolate." She took a piece out of the bowl and popped it in her mouth. "Thank you for the chocolate, Anna."

"You'reshwelcomesh," Anna said with her mouth full.

"Princesses do not talk with their mouth full, Anna," Idun scolded.

"Private sister time, if you please?" Elsa said.

Their parents left the room, but not before giving Elsa a warning look that Elsa knew was about her powers. _I know already. Do you think I want to put Anna in danger? Well, I don't. Frost would not hurt Anna anyway, and as long as I keep the gloves on, she won't even see that._ Elsa mentally stuck out her tongue before focusing on her present safe time with Anna. "Anna, would you like to play chess while we eat our chocolate?"

"Ishlikeshchess! Sure!" Anna said with another chocolate in her mouth. "There's a chessboard in the library. Will you mind if I go get it?"

Elsa allowed herself to giggle now that they were alone again. "You know, Anna, I _really _do not need to see your half-chewed chocolate! And that's fine; just please come right back."

* * *

><p>Anna ran to the library and returned a minute later with the chessboard. "Which color do you want to be-white or black?"<p>

"I don't care; you can pick." Elsa was used to playing chess against herself alone, as was Anna.

"Ok, I want black."

"Then I get to go first," Elsa said, trying to sit up so she could see the board and failing.

"Yeah, exactly!" Anna said with a smile. "Hey, Elsa, I think you need some help."

"I think maybe I do," Elsa said as Anna helped her sit up all the way. "Thank you, Anna…not just for this." _For not hating me; for being willing to spend time with me; for making me happy; for being you…_

Anna quickly gave Elsa a hug. "You don't have to thank me for anything."

_Yes, I do._ "Is…is it really all right to hug you back?" Elsa suddenly realized she had not purposely hugged anyone since she was eight.

"Why wouldn't it be? I wouldn't have hugged you if I didn't want you to hug me back. You're silly, Elsa," Anna said, trying to add a bit of humor to the situation.

Elsa hesitantly returned Anna's hug. She knew it was safe at the moment, but the whole experience was still foreign to her.

"Hey Elsa, can I braid your hair?" Anna asked suddenly.

"I guess so. It's a mess from yesterday, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, kind of. But I just wanted to fix it for you. Your hair is so pretty," Anna said.

"You think my hair is…pretty?" Elsa didn't particularly dislike her hair or anything, but she didn't think it was 'pretty', either. It was just there to her, although she knew it was a color that was hers and hers only, that was probably from her powers. Nobody she had seen in old family portraits had hair the same color as hers.

"Yeah, I do, and you're crazy if you don't agree." Anna undid the remains of Elsa's braid and began brushing out the tangles.

"Well, it's…_ok_, but I definitely don't think it's drop dead gorgeous or something. I mean, don't you think the color is a little weird?" Elsa asked. She eyed Anna's pigtail braids and added, "Will you do my hair like yours?"

"No to the first and yes to the second. I think it's cool you've got a unique shade of hair, and although I will gladly do pigtail braids, I don't know why you want to copy it. You're usually…uh…all elegant, and pigtail braids definitely aren't that!"

Elsa giggled, realizing the irony of Anna's 'cool' description of Elsa's hair. _Cooler than you know! I just wish I could tell you the reason…_ "I just want to be like you."

"_What_? I always wanted to be like YOU!" Anna said.

_No, you don't. You don't want to be like me or have uncontrollable ice powers. Of course, if our positions were reversed, maybe she would have figured it out by now…_ Elsa silently brushed a tear off her cheek and said nothing.

Anna quickly finished braiding Elsa's hair and pulled her into a hug again. "Elsa, I don't know what's the matter, but I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa's three quiet words could have just referred to fixing her hair, but as Elsa hoped, Anna figured otherwise. Elsa wasn't keen on expressing herself aloud clearly, nor did she think she really could even if she wanted to say _everything_ weighing on her mind.

The girls sat in silence for a minute until they went back and started their chess game.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, Elsa said, "Checkmate."<p>

"What? Oh, come on, Elsa, that's no fair! That was, like, the absolute shortest chess game EVER!" Anna complained.

Elsa laughed. "Actually, it isn't. Watch this." She moved all the pieces back to their original starting positions and showed Anna how to pull a checkmate in only a couple moves. "_That's_ the shortest chess game ever. Only, it will never, never work on most people because whoever's playing white has to be downright stupid…no offense to anyone. I figured that sequence of moves out awhile ago; I like playing against myself in my room."

"I like playing against myself too, actually! Except I think I need a LOT more practice before challenging you again. How long did our match last? I think it was like ten minutes!"

"Well, I _am_ three years older than you, and I've probably practiced more than you too…" Elsa's voice trailed off. _I've DEFINITELY practiced more than Anna, actually…stupid room situation, stupid powers, stupid a lot of other things…I've had lots of time to perfect chess skills…_

"Hmph. Can we play again?"

"Sure. May I make a suggestion to try looking farther ahead to what moves I make? It'll probably help. And-" Elsa stopped talking as she felt a film of frost on her hand underneath her glove. _Oh no, oh no…why now?! I'm not even really upset or anything…must have been what I was thinking about a minute ago. Conceal, don't feel; conceal; don't feel…_ She tried to will the frost to go, but it wouldn't. _I can't touch Anna anymore. It isn't safe._

"Elsa, what's wrong?" Anna's voice cut into Elsa's thoughts.

"N-Nothing…let's play, all right?" _Anna, just _please_ don't touch me. If I tell her that aloud, she'll start doing it anyway trying to prove a point. _Elsa was tempted to go back to her room, no matter how much the thought repulsed her, but she was certain that she couldn't make it on her own yet. _And I am not calling for Mom and Dad. Just…no._

"Don't believe you that it's nothing," Anna muttered, but she didn't press the issue further.

They started their second chess match, but Elsa was having trouble keeping her mind on the game. When only a few minutes had passed and Anna said, "Check," she was sure something was wrong.

"Elsa, what is going on? You totally beat me in no time before, and now you're making moves that even I can tell are silly. What. Is. The. Deal?"

"I guess I wasn't concentrating." Elsa pulled herself back to Anna and the game and made her next move. "There. I just captured your queen. Happy now?" She sounded flat and neutral. _You can't be emotional at all right now. Keep it in. Don't touch Anna._

"I don't know. I'm not talking about the game exactly…you're starting to act really strange. You sound a little like you did when our parents came in before, like you're trying to hold something inside," Anna said.

Elsa couldn't keep from saying, "Well, I am, ok? Stop asking me what's wrong! I'm fine!" _You just shouted at Anna…YOU JUST SHOUTED AT ANNA, the sister you've been shutting out for eight years. Why did I do that?! Stupid, stupid, stupid… And mean…_

"I will not! It's _wrong_ to keep stuff inside; it's _wrong_ to want to be sick so we can be together; you are _not_ fine! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I want to help, but I _can't_ if you won't tell me what's wrong! And you know what else is wrong? You shutting me out all this time without explaining why! It isn't fair! What are you so afraid of?" Anna exploded, then immediately regretted it when she saw Elsa's devastated expression.

Elsa was silent for a moment as both sad and angry tears streamed down her face. Anna's words hurt deeply because Elsa knew they were a hundred percent true, but she could do nothing about it. _Get it together. Conceal, don't feel…_ As quickly as the tears had come, Elsa managed to send them away. "Life isn't fair."

"What kind of cr-cryp-"

"Cryptic," Elsa prompted.

"Yeah, that's the word-cryptic response is that?!" Anna finished, although there was another word in her head that started with 'c' that she thought fit just as well, if not better.

"A truthful one," Elsa replied. "Do you really honestly think I like this situation any more than you do?"

"Well, no; you wouldn't have tried to go outside if you did. BUT WHY?! I WANT TO KNOW WHY!"

"Anna, I can't tell you why. All I can say is it's for our own safety, especially yours," Elsa said. _Do I dare say more? No, I can't…_

"BUT IT'S STUPID! Elsa, how many times have I got to say it to get it into your thick skull that YOU ARE NOT DANGEROUS?! I'll prove it, too!" Anna reached for Elsa to try to give her a hug.

Elsa scooted away and accidentally rolled off the bed right onto the floor, landing with a thump. "Don't touch me! I am dangerous, Anna; you have to believe me! I can't tell you anything else. And _please_ stop shouting; someone's going to come in here and want to know what's going on." _And put me back in my room again,_ Elsa finished to herself. _Should I really tell Anna why? I mean, what is the absolute worst thing that could happen if I did tell her the real reason? Do I dare do it? Maybe I should…no, I can't. What if it messes up Anna's memories or something?_

"I WILL NOT STOP! Somebody, and I think I know who, is putting DUMB IDEAS in your head and I've gotta fix it! And WHY CAN'T YOU-"

* * *

><p>Anna's tirade was cut short when their parents walked in.<p>

"Told you," Elsa said pointedly to Anna.

"What is all the noise and shouting in here for?" Agdar asked.

"And why is Elsa on the floor?" Idun asked.

"Well…um…wewerejusttalkingandwekindofgotinadisagreementandElsafelloffthebedand…well, yeah," Anna finished.

Elsa privately rolled her eyes, knowing Anna's 'explanation' made no sense whatsoever to their parents. "Let me explain. We were playing chess. We had a…disagreement. I fell off the bed. The end." She struggled to pull herself back onto the bed.

"Elsa, what did you do to your-"

"My hair?" Elsa interrupted her mother. "It. Is. My. Hair. Pigtail braids like Anna's. I like it like this."

"Princesses do not interrupt. And just what were you and Anna disagreeing over?"

_Tough luck_, Elsa thought. "It was nothing."

"It was not either nothing! It was 'cause I want to know why things are the way they are around here and Elsa wouldn't tell me!" Anna said.

"I can't tell you! Can you _please_ stop asking me?" Elsa asked.

"Sure, after either you or Mom or Dad tells me why," Anna shot back.

No one said anything. Anna stood with her hands on her hips, looking very annoyed; Elsa sat on the bed fiddling with one of her braids, making sure to keep herself void of expression; and their parents stood just inside the doorway glancing from one girl to the other. The seconds ticked by.

"Well?!" Anna broke the silence with the one question no one would answer.

"I daresay we should dump this topic and Anna and I can return to our chess game," Elsa tried to diffuse the situation.

"I think as Elsa is well enough to argue, she can go back to her room," Agdar said. "Can you make it down the hall on your own, or do you need help, Elsa?"

Elsa stared at him in annoyance. _You say I'm well enough to go back to my room; but then a second later, you admit I probably can't even walk down the hall without help. _"I would need help, but it doesn't matter because I am not going to my room right now," she said calmly.

"Don't be rude, Elsa."

_Keep calm. Don't explode. _"I'm not being rude. I'm stating a fact. I am not going to my room right now," Elsa repeated.

"You know we could just carry you down the hall instead."

"No, because you are not touching me," Elsa replied, surprising herself with her own quiet intensity. She sounded fierce but calm; she wasn't exploding; it was just a simple, unruffled refusal.

Anna glanced from her sister to her parents and back again. _Something goofy is going on…_

"Room, Elsa. I've had about enough of this." Agdar moved closer to pick Elsa up, and Elsa just stared unwaveringly at him.

"I mean it. Do not pick me up; do not touch me. I'm fine where I am," Elsa said firmly. _Stay calm, Elsa. _She genuinely did not want anyone touching her for safety purposes, but now she was just getting mad too.

"What are you going to do anyway?"

"Don't test me. I know I'm not _cold_ and _heartless_, but I also know I'm not _perfect_ and _angelic_, either." Elsa's voice had a slight sharpness to it now as she meaningfully tapped a finger on her other gloved hand. "I can be pushed over the edge."

"What edge, Elsa?" Anna asked innocently. She had absolutely no idea what Elsa was talking about.

"Anna, leave the room," Idun said.

Anna reluctantly left, but not without tossing a final, "I WANT TO KNOW WHY! And Elsa, I'm coming back," over her shoulder.

Elsa gave Anna a tiny smile before returning her focus on her parents. They had backed over to the door and shut it. _Good. Maybe they'll leave me alone now._

"Elsa, you aren't really going to freeze anything, are you?"

"Do you want to push me and find out? Look, I'm so, so tired of keeping this secret. It's too much for me. What is so bad if Anna knows about my powers? Or just people in general, for that matter? I agree that I need to stay away from everyone because it's not safe, but I'm sick of the clandestine part of it. Why can't I go downstairs late at night after everyone has gone to bed, for example? No one would be around, so that would be safe," Elsa said.

Elsa's sudden attitude change scared her parents a little. If Elsa really did mean her threat to freeze things, she could become very dangerous. "Elsa…be reasonable. What would our citizens think of the crown princess having ice powers she can't control? You have to concede that's a bad idea. They would call you names or worse."

_I guess that _is_ true._ "I am still not going back to my room right now," Elsa said, backing down a little but not completely.

"Very well, but you need to go back to your room the second you're able to make it on your own. Also, your hair goes up when you're better."

_Dad gave in a little too quickly. They're _scared_ of me,_ Elsa realized. She tried to convince herself she didn't care, but the realization hurt. _I guess it's my own fault for making a not-so-subtle threat like that, even if I didn't really intend to follow through with it…I don't think I did, anyway._ "I will; I promise. I don't promise about my hair, though." _Although I think I have an idea for _that_ that will please Mom and Dad and still remind me of Anna. I still like a single braid best, though._

"Do we have your word?"

"You have my word. I don't want to hurt Anna. By the way…I want Anna back in the interim." Elsa forced herself to remain composed and calm. _I will go back to my luxury prison when I'm able, but it still isn't fair. I wish there were another solution to this…_

* * *

><p>After Elsa's parents left and Anna came back, Elsa finally allowed herself to drop the impassive expression. "Thank you for coming back, Anna. I appreciate it."<p>

"No problem. But I'm still mad 'cause you guys won't tell me anything!"

Elsa sighed. "I can't tell you. Let's just change the subject, ok?" _Come on, Anna; please…I feel a little more at ease now but I don't think it's safe for me to get emotional._

"All right," Anna said grudgingly. "Why don't we play chess some more?"

"Sounds good."

They played the rest of the day; sometimes having real matches; but mostly Elsa showed Anna some of the strategies she knew.

"You're going to be a chess expert next time you challenge someone!" Elsa quipped.

"Do I detect a slight note of pride there, sister dear?" Anna teased.

"Maybe a little!"

* * *

><p>Late that night after Anna had fallen asleep next to her, Elsa dragged herself out of bed and down the hall to her room. <em>I have to do this,<em> Elsa reminded herself. She hadn't intended to go back to her room that night, but she could feel her powers coming back stronger now, and she just didn't trust herself around Anna any longer. _I'll write Anna a note,_ she thought tiredly. Elsa barely had the strength to stand at all, having used up all of her energy getting herself to her room. She lit the kerosene lamp on her desk and collapsed into the chair. _Ok, let's see…'Dear Anna, I'm sorry I left in the middle of the night, but I had to. Please forgive me. Love, Elsa.' It's too short, but I don't know what else to say…_

Elsa dragged herself back over to the door, but it had automatically locked behind her when she'd shut it. _They didn't waste any time changing those lock_s, she thought bitterly. Now she had no way to get the note to Anna. She could go through the secret passages, but that was too far for her to walk in her condition. She had barely trusted herself to make it down the hall and back.

A slightly devious plan popped into her head. _I'll just freeze the stupid lock open. So there._ Pleased with her idea, Elsa slipped the glove off her right hand and quickly froze and broke the lock. Elsa smirked to herself. _So I _can_ get out of here._ She went down the hall as fast as her exhausted self would let her, left the note in Anna's hand, and returned to her room. After shutting the door behind her, Elsa collapsed into bed.

**A/N: Ok, Elsa's 'safe time' with Anna is officially over. :/**

**Please let me know if everyone is still believably in character, especially Elsa. I mean, everyone knows she has FULL rights to be mad, but I don't want her going overboard the other way, either...so yeah...:P**

**I'll update as soon as I have the next chapter written. I'm now updating as I write, so I'm sorry if there's a longer time between chapters. I still have 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna' going too, but I have several more chapters prewritten for that, so I'm not quite as focused on finishing that at the moment. (although I do know how that will end too;))**

**Thanks for reading!:)**


	8. I Can't

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's favorited/followed and/or reading but not reviewing!:)**

**FanGirlJen-I THINK that was a good 'wow'...so thanks:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Lol, you're welcome.;) I couldn't have Elsa do that because Anna isn't supposed to know about her powers yet.:P OUAT is where I got the freeze the lock idea, actually. I'm no chess expert, but I'd say aim for the queen first, because every time I've done that to MY sister, I beat her.;) I thought it was a good metaphor, too-and yeah, I agree about Elsa.;) She's not stupid.:)**

**Lindstrom-I thought Elsa would still be hurt knowing that, no matter how much she tries to convince herself otherwise.:/ Elsa's rebellious/angry streak is now mostly banned to her thoughts.:) Hopefully that's more movie character accurate. **

**bananas-rule-2015-Thank you for the suggestion, but Elsa can't tell Anna about her powers yet because I'm keeping this in canon. Anna comes very close to figuring it out in this chapter though!:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-"We're freezing daylight!" Whatddya say we tell that line to OUR parents sometime, sis?XDXD They'll probably roll their eyes and say we're crazy.;) Aah, whatever. Burning daylight, freezing daylight, whatever.:P Thanks for the review, sis:)**

**On to the story! I hope this was worth the wait!:)**

Elsa awoke early the next morning. She blinked irritably at the all-too-familiar surroundings of her room. _I sentenced myself back to permanent isolation by coming back here last night. But I _can_ bust the lock again if I want to, although I shouldn't do that._ _I had to come back here though…it wasn't safe for me to be around Anna any longer. _Elsa comforted herself with the thought that she had done it for Anna. Whatever other negative feelings she had swirling inside, they did not affect her decisions regarding her sister. It was _not_ fair that she had to stay in here all the time, but she couldn't think of a better solution, either. Well, except for running off far, far away somewhere; but that wasn't logical. _After all, I'm the crown princess of Arendelle…I can't just run away from my future responsibilities. Wait, when I become queen in the hopefully very distant future, what am I supposed to do then? Rule Arendelle from behind closed doors?_

Elsa continued thinking as she got up and pulled a dark blue dress out of her closet. She felt almost a hundred percent better now, which was both good and bad depending on how she looked at it. _Good because I don't feel sick anymore, and bad because now I have to worry about controlling those powers again. And about the original topic…Dad had a point when he said our citizens wouldn't take kindly to the crown princess having ice powers she can't control. What would I do?! You can't conduct trading policies, alliances, and other things like that strictly via letters. You have to meet in person…that could be a disaster. I could ruin Arendelle entirely if I were queen and made a "little" ice mistake in public…_ Elsa made a face when she realized her frantic thoughts were causing her to leave a patch of ice on the floor. _Stop that, Elsa. Get it together. That was something you don't even have to worry about for hopefully decades. _She undid her Anna pigtails from the day before and brushed out her hair. Pausing in front of the mirror for a moment, Elsa smiled and made two tiny braids, one on each side. _That's my little touch of Anna. _Then she twisted her hair into a bun. _And that'll please Mom and Dad…although I don't know why I care. I should be allowed to do my hair however I want. I guess I care because they're my parents…_ Elsa _was_ pleased with the ending results, though. She would still prefer a single braid, but if her parents wanted her hair to be up; then she was going to have a secret reminder of Anna along with it. _Compromise for everyone._

She headed over to the still-shattered window. All the shards of glass had been cleaned up, but the window itself had not been replaced yet. _Changing the lock before replacing the window…seriously? Whatever, I'm not going to let that bother me. Besides, as long as the window is missing, I can have some outside air in here._ Elsa was greatly tempted to climb right out the window and sit on the roof out of spite and also simply because there was a great view. _After all, that's not the forest. The roof isn't going to have weird creepy people on it like there were in the forest…_ She shuddered, remembering the people that had ruined both her outside time and her conversations with Anna; and had, quite honestly, scared her half to death. _I wish I _had_ frozen them. Not actually hurt them or anything, just frozen their feet to the ground or something. Or made an ice wall that separated me from them. But no, I had to freak out and lose control instead. Wait, why am I thinking about how to _fight_ with my dangerous powers? Maybe I really am a monster. Only a horrible person would be thinking like this after the same ability aka disability nearly killed her sister. And I can't control it anyway, so it doesn't make much difference. … I will not think about this anymore. I won't._

Elsa ripped her thoughts away from that distasteful inner monologue and went back to the roof. _You know what, Elsa? Go on out on the roof. Let whatever happens happen. Except…_ Now she was thinking about something else. Could she really climb out there safely and come back in without falling? After all, she hadn't even climbed a tree since she was eight. _I didn't even try to climb a tree when I was outside in the forest. Guess I should have, even if it wasn't exactly a proper thing to do…then again, going out on the roof isn't either._ Elsa looked carefully outside. There was a ledge outside the window, wide enough to sit on. She wouldn't have to get onto the actual roof unless she wanted to. Without thinking her actions through any further, she climbed out the window onto the ledge. _Ok, maybe this wasn't such a good idea,_ she thought as she looked down towards the ground. _I think I pulled an Anna move here, assuming she still acts like she did when we were little. How high am I? Thirty feet? I don't know._ Elsa wasn't scared of heights, per se, but the prospect of falling from that high was unnerving. Still, the view from the ledge while outside was amazing, especially for a girl who hadn't been outside for eight years, not including the few afternoons in the forest. V-e-r-y carefully standing up, Elsa moved down the ledge until she had cleared the edge of her room's window. _Stupid room. This is so amazing out here! _Elsa smiled as she gazed off into the distance at the North Mountain. The sight of the mountain was tantalizing; she still remembered her dream from a few nights before and still wondered what the summit was like.

She was closing her eyes and letting herself daydream about being on the summit when her sharp ears heard a knock on the door back in her room. _Oops. It's time for breakfast, and I'm out here on the ledge…_ Elsa began slowly edging her way back to the window. She heard the door to her room open and Gerda say "Sorry, Princess Elsa, I thought the door was locked…wait, you aren't even in here. Where are you?" Elsa didn't dare shout that she was out on the ledge. _Come on, self, just a little bit farther…_

Gerda stuck her head outside and stared at Elsa. _Elsa…on the roof. Only Anna does that…_

A very startled Elsa began to slip and grabbed at the slanted portion of the roof…and pulled off a shingle. _Oh no, oh no, oh no…don't fall, Elsa. Calm down._ "Good morning, Gerda. I was just…" Elsa's voice trailed off. _Ok, I was standing on the ledge daydreaming about the North Mountain. Yeah, not saying that._

"Princess, do you need help?"

"No! No, don't touch me! I can make it…I think." Elsa edged closer to the window. _Almost there…_

Without warning, Elsa's foot slipped, Gerda reached for Elsa's arm, and Elsa jerked sideways so she couldn't be touched. Elsa tumbled through the window into her room, landing hard on the floor. She smiled sheepishly at Gerda and said, "I guess I'm not sure-footed enough to climb out there."

"You scared me to death! You almost fell, and you wouldn't accept help…are you all right?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. My powers are almost completely back now…it's not safe for anyone to touch me anymore. That's why I came back in here late last night," Elsa explained as she got to her feet. _Am I all right? I think so…wait…_ Elsa realized one wrist was bothering her. _I must have landed on it the wrong way…_

Gerda frowned, but she had figured as much. "Are you all right, though? You landed on the floor pretty hard."

"I'm fine." Elsa clasped her hands behind her back, ignoring the pulsing ache in her wrist. She didn't want to tell Gerda about it; she'd want to look at it and that wouldn't be safe.

"Well, here's your breakfast, princess. By the way, what happened to the lo-wait, Princess Elsa, you aren't fine. You're wincing for some reason. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Elsa made a face. She thought she'd been doing a good job hiding her aching wrist. "Well…if I tell you, you have to promise not to try to touch it or anything. It isn't safe…and if you were going to ask me about the lock, I broke it last night taking a note back to Anna so she'd know why I abandoned her." _Again,_ she added to herself.

"I won't try to touch it, princess. Maybe I could tell you what to do for whatever it is yourself." _Elsa broke-well, she most likely froze-the lock open to take a note to Anna…she had to actually break out of her own room…_

"I think I twisted my wrist funny when I landed because it really aches," Elsa explained. She started backing away when Gerda came closer to her. "You promised not to touch me!"

"All right, all right, princess. Sorry…ok, can you move it at all?"

Elsa experimented moving it. "I can, but it hurts to do that," she said, holding her wrist with her other hand. _Actually it hurts a lot, but I'm not going to say that…_

"It's probably sprained, then. Will you please let me look at it?" Gerda asked.

"No! I might hurt you! Just tell me what to do for it. I can handle it," Elsa said. _Why was I stupid enough to try climbing out there? Now I'm stuck with a sprained wrist that I, if I'm being honest, have no idea what to do for…_

"Princess Elsa, you have to wrap it to give it support until it's better. How are you going to do that yourself? Please let me help you," Gerda said.

"I don't know, but I'll figure something out. You can't touch me; it's not safe. If I'd done it yesterday, that would have been another story…but then again, I wasn't physically able to climb outside like that yesterday, either…never mind, I'm probably making no sense whatsoever," Elsa replied. _Definitely making no sense whatsoever…_

The conversation was interrupted when Anna knocked on the door with her signature knock.

And the door drifted open because of the broken lock.

"Oh wow, Elsa, your door wasn't locked!" Anna exclaimed. "Hey, what happened to that window?"

"Um…" Elsa thought quickly. "Something ran into it." _Well, something did run into it…an icicle…_ "Anna, please, you have to go. It's not safe anymore." _And there's a puddle of water over here from that patch of ice I accidentally made earlier…oh, no…Anna, please don't come over here…_

"Well, duh something ran into it! What exactly happened? And why'd you leave in the middle of the night? I got your note, but I still don't get it," Anna said. "And what happened to your wrist? You're holding it funny, like you hurt it."

Elsa looked helplessly at Gerda. _I have no idea what to say. "I threw an icicle at the window"? "I left because I might freeze you"? "I almost fell off the ledge outside"?_

"Princess Anna, why don't you come back later?" Gerda asked, steering Anna out of the room.

"No, I wanna stay now! I'm not letting Elsa stay in her room all alone again! I want my questions answered!"

Elsa sighed. _I can answer one of Anna's questions, anyways… _"Ok, Anna…I fell and sprained my wrist, that's all."

"Then we gotta get you to the castle infirmary! The doctor'll fix it right up for you," Anna said, running towards Elsa, who immediately backed into the far corner.

"Anna, no! Stay away! I'm-" Elsa stopped talking when she noticed what Anna was looking at.

Anna stopped and eyed the puddle of water on the floor. "Where'd that come from? It isn't dumping or even drizzling anymore."

"Perhaps it's left over from the storm," Gerda jumped in quickly.

_Yeah, Hurricane Elsa. That's the storm that did it, _Elsa thought. "Anna, please go. It's not safe around me anymore. _Please._"

"Elsa, I thought we were starting to make a little progress. You let me hug you yesterday. In fact, _you_ even hugged _me_ back! And now you're backed into the corner practically shaking again, like you did when I barged in here the other day on your birthday. WHAT is going on?! Something is weird…you're scared of something, and whatever that something is doesn't apply to when you're sick," Anna said. _Something's fishy…_

_Yeah, because it doesn't exist when I'm sick, at least that sort of sick anyway._ Elsa stayed standing in the corner and said nothing.

"And you know what else? I don't believe you that something just ran into the window."

Elsa eyes went wide as Anna kept going. _Did she guess what really happened? That I threw an icicle at the window? Where that puddle of meltwater on the floor came from?_

"I think you busted it on purpose sometime during that rainstorm. Mom and Dad wouldn't let me near your room after they found you in here unconscious. I think they didn't want me to know about whatever happened in here. What did you throw at it? A book? A chair?" Anna asked curiously.

Elsa relaxed slightly. _Anna didn't guess what really happened. But Anna still needs to leave! It's not safe in here anymore…_

* * *

><p>Anna turned toward the door when she heard someone in the doorway. <em>We are so busted…no way to get out of it this time… <em>"Oh, uh, hi Mom, hi Dad. I was just, um…talking to Elsa. Yeah, just talking to Elsa. Why is she all scared again now that she's better? Elsa won't let me near her again. Oh, and she hurt her wrist and she won't go down to the castle infirmary to take care of it."

"Anna, _please_, I'm fine. Please don't a-ask anym-more…I love you; it's j-just not s-safe. Please go…" Elsa tried to keep her voice steady but couldn't. _So much for staying emotionless and impassive in front of Mom and Dad. Anna, please, please, _please_ just stop asking questions…I can't take it anymore…_

"How did you get in here, Anna?" Idun asked.

"The door just opened when I knocked on it…"

"Why was Anna able to push the door open just by knocking on it, Elsa?" Agdar asked, pulling Anna out into the hall. "Go on down to the dining hall for breakfast, Anna."

Knowing it was useless to argue further, Anna sent a virtual hug towards Elsa before disappearing down the hall.

_Thank you, Anna. _Anna's simple gesture lifted Elsa's spirits a little. "You might say I picked the lock, in a way," Elsa said. "I came back here late last night when I felt it wasn't safe for me to be around Anna anymore. I didn't want Anna to think I abandoned her for no reason, so I wrote her a note and left it in the guest room in her hand."

"What exactly did this note say? And just how did you 'pick' the lock?" Agdar went and looked at the broken lock closely. "This lock wasn't just picked. It's completely broken, Elsa. What did you do to it?"

"My note said 'Dear Anna, I'm sorry I left in the middle of the night, but I had to. Please forgive me. Love, Elsa'. That's it." _No, Dad, I didn't go and blab about my real problem in the note._ "And if you must know, I froze the lock open," Elsa added.

"Tell me you didn't really freeze the lock open…"

_I could, but then I'd be lying._ Elsa stayed quiet. _And my wrist hurts. La la la, not going to think about it…_

"Elsa, the door is supposed to lock for a reason. Now the whole lock needs to be replaced again," Agdar said.

_Big deal. Next time leave it so I can lock it from the inside, and I wouldn't have tried to bust the lock in the first place._ Elsa still said nothing.

"Elsa, what was Anna talking about when she said you hurt your wrist? Are you all right?" Idun asked.

"I'll be fine." Elsa forced a smile and clasped her hands behind her back again.

"I believe Princess Elsa sprained her wrist when she tumbled inside from out on the ledge," Gerda said.

Elsa shot Gerda an irritated look that said, 'What did you have to go and say that for?!'

"Elsa, what were you doing out on the ledge?" Agdar asked.

"Looking at the view," Elsa said, which was true.

"Elsa, you can look at the view from _inside_. It's bad enough Anna climbs on the roof. Now we have you doing it too!" Idun said.

"No roof climbing. And don't break the lock again. Also, don't go and make yourself ill on purpose like that ever again. There will be consequences next time," Agdar added.

_It's not like there's much more you can punish me with. I'm already locked in here alone all the time; now actually literally…_ Elsa said nothing._ And there goes my plan to do the sick thing again to temporarily get rid of my powers so I can safely spend time with Anna…_

"What do you propose to do about your wrist?"

"Nothing?" Elsa asked hopefully. "I'm hungry; I want to eat my breakfast now." She sat down at her desk to eat, gingerly resting her aching wrist in her lap.

"Princess, you can't just leave it alone. It'll take forever to heal that way, not to mention you might injure it worse in the meantime," Gerda fussed.

"Gerda is right, Elsa. Either you let Gerda take care of it for you, or you do it yourself and let her see it afterwards," Idun said.

Elsa thought for a moment. _Well, that's no contest…_ "Take care of it myself."

* * *

><p>An hour later, a very annoyed and disgusted Elsa was finally able to sit down and actually finish eating breakfast. It had taken her several tries to get her wrist wrapped correctly to Gerda's satisfaction; which was made worse by the fact that Elsa was terrified she was going to freeze Gerda or something since she had to show Gerda her bare hand. Elsa sighed in relief once <em>that<em> whole mess was over and she finally had the room to herself again. While she hated being locked in her room all the time, she did _not_ like being around people. Elsa still couldn't figure out if that was because she was afraid she was going to hurt someone, or because she really didn't like being around people. _Stupid clumsy me. Why did I have to literally FALL back inside like that? I'm definitely not trying to go out on the ledge again. Not that it matters, since I was forbidden to anyway, but still._

Elsa stopped eating for a moment when she heard odd noises coming from her door. "Who is it?"

"It's just Kai, Princess Elsa. Your father said the lock needed to be replaced again…I'll be right back. I forgot a tool."

_Great, just great. New lock already…_ A mischievous idea popped into her head. Elsa waltzed over to the door, shut it completely, and purposely iced over the door and doorframe surrounding where the lock should go. Kai already knew about her powers, so it wasn't like she was telling someone about them. _There. New lock, indeed. And I'm not 'breaking the lock again' since it's already broken, so I'm not really doing anything bad…right? Well, not _too_ bad…_ She knew that the ice would eventually crack or melt, so it wasn't like she had done something permanent. Elsa went back to her breakfast and waited to see the reaction to the mysteriously 'stuck' door.

She didn't have to wait long.

Five minutes later…"Princess Elsa, what did you do? The door wouldn't even stay closed earlier, and now it's stuck."

Elsa giggled as she heard banging noises that were Kai trying to get the door open. "The clue is in the temperature!" she said. _Well, I can't feel temperatures at all, but I know the door must be cold where the ice is…_

"The clue is in the temperature? Oh, wait…" Kai finally realized what Elsa had done. "Princess, did you ice over the doorframe and lock on your side of the door?"

Elsa nodded before remembering Kai couldn't see her. _That was silly. _"I did, yes. It's a free lock!"

Kai chuckled on the other side of the door. _At least she's happy enough to make a joke, anyways…_ "Princess Elsa, that was a good joke, but I can't put the new lock in with the door iced shut…"

Elsa's mood dropped. "I know…it's not like the ice is permanent. It'll melt or crack eventually, sometime soon."

"For your sake, I hope it does. Somehow I don't think your parents will think that joke was as funny as I did…"

"No thanks for reminding me." _I didn't mean any harm, but maybe that wasn't such a good idea._ "I'll try to pull the ice off, I suppose. Will you please move away from the door in case this works?" Elsa asked.

"Of course, princess."

Elsa waited until she heard Kai move away from the door. Then she went over to the door and began trying to yank the ice off. Elsa let out a yelp when her efforts made her sprained wrist hurt worse. _Ow, ow, ow. This is hopeless. How am I supposed to get that ice off? I guess this is what I get the one time I act on impulse. _She examined the ice closely. _I wonder if I could make it crack and shatter instead of just pulling it off…_ Elsa brought her good fist down hard on the ice, hoping it would crack. It did. Elsa retreated to the opposite side of the room before saying, "Ok, try opening the door again, Kai. I think the ice cracked enough to open the door."

The door creaked loudly, but the door did open. "How did you get the ice off, Princess Elsa?" Kai asked.

"I didn't…I punched it so it would crack," Elsa explained. "Evidently it worked."

"I think you're turning into your sister, princess. That sounds like something Princess Anna would do," Kai said, giving Elsa a smile.

"Really?!" Elsa's face lit up at the prospect of being like her sister. _Then Anna hasn't changed a bit since she was five. She always acted on impulse; anytime, all the time, about everything. Anna was impulsive the night everything was ruined…_ Elsa struggled to dump that particular memory. She remembered her eight-year-old self shouting 'Wait! Slow down!', but five-year-old Anna hadn't been paying attention. Then Elsa had tried to keep with her, but she'd missed and hit Anna instead. _If only I'd managed to be faster…or if I hadn't slipped. I had _never_ slipped on my own ice until that moment. But no, that had to be the first time…and the last time, too…I've never slipped on my ice from losing control since then, either. Come on, Elsa; think about something else. Anything but that. _Elsa watched as Kai took the broken lock out completely and began putting in the new one. That lock might be what was going to lock her in, but she was curious on how it was actually put together. "Could I put the lock in myself? You could tell me how to put it in. And don't worry; I'm not going to break it on purpose again. I just want to know how it works."

Kai looked at her with a puzzled expression. _Why on earth would she want to help put the lock in? She knows it's going to be reversed so the lock is on the outside…_ "I'll be happy to let you do that, although I don't see why you would want to."

"Thank you!"

The next twenty minutes were spent with Elsa fiddling with the lock while Kai stood several feet away explaining how to put it in. Of course, it would have been easier if Elsa would let him stand next to her to explain things; but Elsa was adamant that he not get too close to her. "There, I think it's in correctly now," Elsa said, starting to shut the door to test it.

"NO! Princess Elsa, don't shut that!"

Elsa stopped in her tracks with her hand on the doorknob. "I just want to see if I did it right, that's all." Elsa sounded confused. "Oh…right, I forgot. If I _did _do it right and I shut the door, it will automatically lock and you won't be able to leave. In that case, you go in the hall and then I'll test it."

Kai obliged, taking the tools with him, and Elsa shut the door behind him. She tugged at the doorknob, but it had automatically locked, just like it was supposed to. "I think I did it right," Elsa said wryly. _Ok, I just voluntarily locked myself in here with no way out. That was stupid. Why did I do that?_

"Well, I don't know if you want to hear this or not, but you evidently installed it exactly right, Princess Elsa," Kai said from out in the hall.

"I don't know if I want to hear that or not either," Elsa answered ruefully from inside. _I'm pleased I put it in right, but I'm not pleased in the least that I have no way to unlock that door anymore, even if I want to._

"I suppose I'll be leaving, princess."

Elsa said goodbye from inside and picked up the broken lock that had been left on the floor by the door. She was still fascinated with all the mechanical components within the lock. _This one is identical to the new one on the door. It automatically locks and can only be unlocked with a key from the outside. I wonder if it _is_ possible to pick it open without breaking it…_ Elsa had genuinely wanted to put the lock in herself simply out of curiosity, but now she was wondering if her new knowledge might allow her to get the door open. _I don't know what the point of that would be, though. I can't leave my room anyway…it's not safe. Well, I guess it'd be safe at night, but I don't want to get in trouble again either. Who knows what would happen next time? I might get sent to the dungeons or something. _Elsa giggled to herself. _Nah, Mom and Dad wouldn't do that to me. I know they're scared of me and stuff; but I don't think they'd put me down there. You're really silly sometimes, Elsa; you know that?_ She decided to mess with the broken lock for awhile just for curiosity's sake. _Besides,_ Elsa thought, _if it's possible to pick the lock from inside, at least I'll have the knowledge that I'm capable of doing so even if I have no intentions to. I won't feel so much like I'm in a cage._

Five minutes of tinkering later, Elsa resigned herself to the knowledge that there was no way to open that lock from inside without completely breaking it-or, in her case, freezing it-again, which she had promised not to do. _Stupid lock! _Elsa hurled the broken lock out the still-missing window in disgust. She couldn't help feeling just a _little _self-satisfied when she saw it smashed to smithereens in the courtyard.

* * *

><p>Elsa's disgust at the whole lock thing abruptly ended when she heard Anna knocking on her door.<p>

"Hi again, Elsa!" Anna tried opening the door and couldn't. "I guess that dumb lock got replaced already. Can't you let me in? I just wanna talk to you like we did the last two days. And I still want to know what the problem is! Something's fishy about this whole thing!"

"I _can't_ open the door. And please quit asking me what the problem is." Elsa's words came out sharper than she'd intended. _I REALLY can't open the door now…_

"What do you mean you can't open the door? You mean you _won't_ open the door for some reason. And I'll quit asking when you or Mom or Dad TELL ME WHY!"

Elsa clenched her fists and looked around for something to pound on that she wouldn't ruin. _Anna doesn't get it. I really cannot open that door no matter how much I want to. I'm locked in! I can't open it!_ She pounced on the pillows on her bed and vented her feelings out on those. Ice began spreading on the ceiling above her, but Elsa didn't notice.

"Oh yeah…did you get your wrist taken care of?" Anna asked from the other side of the door.

That made Elsa realize that beating up on the pillows wasn't such a good idea with her sprained wrist. _That was a stupid thing to do, Elsa. It hurts, doesn't it? _"Shut up," Elsa said aloud to her thoughts as she held her throbbing wrist with her other hand.

"I will not shut up! What'd you tell me to shut up for?!" Anna exclaimed.

"I didn't tell you to shut up!" Elsa shot back.

"You did too! I clearly heard you say 'shut up', and I know you're the only one in there. So you must have said it to me!"

_Oops. I must have said 'shut up' to my thoughts out loud…_ "Anna, I was just talking to myself. Not you," Elsa tried to explain.

"You told yourself to shut up…yeah, I'm not buying it. Do you want me to go away?"

"No," Elsa answered. _You can talk to me all day if you want to. Just leave if someone's coming, that's all._

"Well, um…can I come in then? I'll even stay way over on one side of the room if you want me to," Anna offered.

Elsa took a deep breath. "Anna, you need to get it through your head that I cannot open that door. I really can't." _Anna, please understand…_

"How is it that you actually can't open the door? You hurt one wrist, not both. Therefore you can open the door. Please? I know you're scared of people touching you for some reason again now that you're better, so I'll just stay on the other side of the room. That way, at least we can still talk face-to-face," Anna said.

_That's not it, Anna. I CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR! It's locked on the outside…_ Elsa didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. _I couldn't let Anna in right now anyway…she'd see all those icicles dangling from the ceiling. _She gave the threatening-looking icicles on the ceiling a nasty glare. _Those things almost scare _me_, and I'm the one that made them, even if it was subconsciously. _Elsa realized the icicles' menacing appearance was because they had appeared when she was angry. The ones that appeared when she was scared or upset weren't quite so disturbing-looking. _That is so creepy._ Elsa made a private promise to herself that 1)she would try her best to tamp her anger down more than ever from now on; and 2)if she failed, she was _not_ going to look at the icy results afterwards.

"And I still want to know why! I mean; this is ridiculous! I know you're scared for some reason, and I think mad too, since I definitely heard you say 'shut up'. What's going on that no one will tell me?!"

"I CAN'T TELL YOU!" Elsa couldn't hold it in any longer. The physical manifestations of Elsa's conflicted emotions appeared as all the ice on the ceiling came crashing down on the floor. Elsa ducked under her arms as shattered icicles rained onto the floor around her. _What did I do?!_ She looked frantically around her room. _It looks like an ice bomb exploded in here._ Elsa was even more troubled when she realized she was standing in a small ice-free circle in the center of the room. _I made a dangerous mess all over the room, and it didn't touch me at all?!_ She was glad the ice hadn't landed on her; but it was disturbing that she had seemingly made that huge mess "on purpose" since the ice missed her entirely._ It must be because it's _my_ ice…it somehow knows not to hurt me, I guess. Either that, or I subconsciously directed it away from myself. _

"What was all that loud crashing in there, Elsa?" Anna asked.

_I just made a huge mess and dropped ice all over the place, that's what_, Elsa thought. "I dropped something."

"What, a ton of bricks? Come on, Elsa, what happened in there?" Anna asked.

Elsa bit her lip and said nothing. There really wasn't a logical reason she could give Anna. _For goodness sakes, the _truth_ isn't logical. "Well, I got mad and dropped ice off the ceiling, Anna." Yeah, that just makes loads of sense-not! I can't tell Anna that, and even if I could, it doesn't sound believable anyway…_ She heard footsteps coming down the hall and promptly said, "Anna, you need to go-_now._ Someone's coming."

Anna turned to see her mother coming down the hall. _How does Elsa hear so much from in there?!_ "Bye, Elsa! See you later!" She took off running to her own room.

Elsa heard her mother ask her what the loud crashing had come from. "May I come in?"

_It's not like I have much say in the matter. I can't control whether you unlock that door or not._ "I don't care, but be prepared to see a huge mess," Elsa said, and went to the opposite side of the room, easily making her way through the slippery shards of ice all over the floor. Elsa bit her lip as she heard the lock click open.

"Goodness gracious, what happened in here?" Idun asked, taking in the sheer amount of ice shards on the floor.

Elsa gave a slightly obnoxious reply. "I dropped some things."

"Now Elsa, what really happened? There are little pieces of ice all over the floor. Usually the floor or whatever the material happens to be is solid ice if you lose control. Explanation, please."

"There were icicles all over the ceiling. I got mad and they…fell everywhere," Elsa said truthfully. _Please believe me. That's the truth. I myself don't know exactly why that happened._

"Did you do it on purpose?"

"No! Why would I make this huge mess in my room on purpose?" Elsa forced herself not to cry when she realized Idun had backed all the way out of her room back into the hallway. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…Mom's scared of me. She thinks I did it on purpose. Because I admitted it happened when I was angry…_

"I don't know, Elsa. You have to admit it's rather strange. Have you _ever_ made this particular type of ice mess before? I've never seen anything like it."

"I've never seen anything like it before, either. Honest! I don't know how I did it!" Elsa cried.

"The floor, Elsa…"

Elsa looked down to see ice forming under her feet. _Conceal, don't feel…_ The ice didn't stop spreading. "I'm trying, but it's not working!" It didn't help that she noticed her mother had moved to the far side of the hallway. _Now I'm really, really trying to do what I'm supposed to, and it's not working. I'm just not good enough…I can't fix this myself… _Elsa couldn't take the sight of her mother in the hallway, trying not to look scared, but not succeeding. Idun may have fooled someone else besides Elsa; but Elsa was good at people-reading. Right that second, Elsa wished with all her heart she wasn't. Elsa ran across the room, not caring about all the ice shards, and slammed the door shut. "I'm sorry your oldest daughter is such an abnormal freak. I can't help it, ok?!" To ensure no one could come in and bother her, Elsa took off her gloves and purposely sealed the entire door and doorframe shut with ice before slipping them back on. _There, nobody'll be coming in here for a long, long while until that melts._ Then she threw herself on the bed and cried.

**A/N: Um...so I guess Elsa's really upset again.:/ Don't ask me why Elsa decided she wanted to put the lock in herself.:P I thought the mechanics of it would be interesting to her since "my" Elsa likes drawing blueprints, and we know canon Elsa definitely likes geometry and builds flawless ice palaces.:) So yeah, IDK...:P**

**Anyway, I'd love feedback whether it's "EWW THAT WAS HORRIBLE!" or "EEK THAT WAS AMAZING!":)**

**Next chapter coming soon:)**


	9. As Time Crawls By

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Sorry to burst your bubble-Yeah, Elsa's decision to go out on the window ledge wasn't exactly smart, I guess.:P (Although to be quite honest, I'm calling myself stupid then because I climb on the roof all the time and read books up there...;) Of course, MY roof isn't 30-some feet off the ground. More like 10 at most, I think) I've never heard the song before, but it sure sounds fitting! Uh, Elsa is NOT finding out about that. She doesn't need that knowledge on top of everything else.:/ (Her parents are doing it as a "precaution", not to carry out at the present.) :)**

**FanGirlJen-Thanks:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Anna WILL find out about Elsa's powers eventually.:) (I think I just gave everyone a clue where the story's going to end by saying that, lol:)) I feel sorry for them too. Probably more sorry than I should considering that Elsa and Anna are movie characters.:/**

**Lindstrom-Lol, that's a great term-"inner Anna".:) Elsa's thoughts are alternately depressing, angry, funny, etc...I just realized exactly how conflicted she really is on the inside.:/ You're noticing more about "my" version of Elsa than I do myself.:P :)**

**JR-Elsa's parents ARE jerks in my opinion.:) 'Conceal don't feel' is horrible advice to give to an 8 year old. And keeping Elsa in her room was dumb too.:/ Ok, I shall quit expressing how much I dislike the parents now.;) (Don't worry; they aren't going to be around forever.)**

**On to the story!:) I think this chapter came out a little more...depressing than some of the others, so I'm just warning you.:P**

A few minutes later, Anna came back to Elsa's door. She had heard Elsa's final words before Elsa had slammed the door shut, because she'd been, well, sneaking back down the hall to Elsa. Now Anna put her ear to the door, trying to hear what was going on inside Elsa's room. All Anna could hear were Elsa's muffled sobs. _What's going on? Why did Elsa call herself an abnormal freak? And now she's crying…_ Anna knocked softly on the door using her signature rhythmic knock.

"Anna…please go away…not safe…" Elsa managed to say. _Don't ask me 'why' questions again, please…_

More than anything, Anna just wanted her questions answered and comfort Elsa somehow. But Elsa said for Anna to go away. _Elsa needs a hug. When she had that icky dream the other night, she eventually calmed down when I did that. We didn't have to say a word to each other. Maybe she'll open the door for that._ "Elsa…if you, um, open the door, I'll give you a hug. It made you happy the, uh, other time, remember? And I heard what you called yourself a few minutes ago. My sister is NOT an abnormal freak. Why did you call yourself that?"

Elsa made no verbal response. She cried harder. _Anna's trying to help, but she's just making it worse. I can't open the door. I'm locked in. It's not safe. There's ice all over the place in here. I wish I hadn't let Anna hug me before. It's made this whole situation worse for both of us. She's confused about why it was ok then and not now. And it's made this whole situation ten times worse for me because getting a hug from Anna for the first time in eight years and then not being able to all over again is like…like really, really mean-spirited teasing._

"Elsa? Why is there an insanely cold draft coming from under your door?"

_Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa managed to force herself to stop crying; but she couldn't feel the cold, so she had no way of knowing what temperature it was in her room at all. _Anna is getting way too close to figuring out about my…problem. She saw the shattered window; she saw that meltwater puddle on the floor; she heard all that ice crash down; she's wondered why my room is cold more than once…And I'm sure me being terrified of touching anyone and wearing gloves all the time in the summer is very suspicious…Anna needs to understand she has to stay away from me._ Elsa made a difficult decision. She would have to completely ignore Anna again, no matter how much it hurt. Maybe then Anna would ignore her too, and their happy respite of safe time would be forgotten.

"Elsa? Will you please answer? Even us talking through the door is way better than no contact at all!"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut against the tears as she forced out one last reply. "I love you. Go away, Anna."

Anna frowned on the other side of the door. _She says she loves me and then she says to go away…what's wrong? I'll leave Elsa alone and come back later. _"Ok, bye…"

* * *

><p>That evening, Elsa's door was still sealed shut with ice. "I froze the door shut," Elsa said when Gerda asked why the door wouldn't open.<p>

"But princess, how are you going to get your dinner?"

"I guess I'll just be hungry until it melts," Elsa answered.

"You can't just not eat!"

Elsa sat in the window seat and gazed out the missing window. "I'm not hungry." _I just want Anna back. I wish I could either control my powers or get rid of them; I don't care which. Actually I think I'd rather get rid of them. Mom and Dad didn't _really_ approve of me even before I hurt Anna…_

Later after everyone had gone to bed, Elsa used the secret passages to sneak into the kitchen. She took a stash of chocolate and some fresh fruit back to her room, along with some chicken. _Chocolate and fruit won't go bad in my room. I'll eat the chicken tonight._ After eating the chicken and an apple, Elsa went to bed. That door could just stay sealed shut for all she cared. If she was going to be locked in her room, she would make it so no one else could come in, either. Knowing that anyone who had the key could just barge in without her permission creeped her out and she didn't think it was safe. What if someone came in while she was losing control?

* * *

><p>The next morning, Elsa braced herself for a scolding when her parents knocked on the door. "May we come in?"<p>

"No," Elsa answered. The door was still sealed shut, so it definitely wasn't going anywhere. Elsa was suddenly very, very glad she had iced the door shut. Now she wouldn't be obliged to open that door. She _couldn't_ open the door, and no one outside could either.

"Elsa…we do have a key. May we come in?"

"The door is sealed shut," Elsa replied. _Now please leave me alone. You don't need to come in here. You're scared of me. You don't want to be around me anyway._ She heard the sound of the key being twisted in the lock. _See, I told you._

"Elsa, fix the door right now. You froze it shut."

"I don't know how." _And even if I did, I wouldn't unfreeze it right now anyway,_ Elsa finished in her thoughts.

"Gerda said you didn't have any dinner last night. You can't just keep the door like this permanently."

"I got dinner myself. I went down to the kitchen late last night and took some food back in here," Elsa said. _Why did I admit that?!_

"How did you get to-oh, wait, you used the secret passages, didn't you?"

"Yes…" Elsa answered warily.

"All right, very well. If you wish to get meals that way, that's fine. But only go down there at night."

_I'm not stupid. I wasn't going to go down there during the day anyway._ "Ok," Elsa said.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Elsa saw a folded piece of paper slide under her door, and heard what she was certain were Anna's footsteps fade away down the hall. Elsa ran over to the door and unfolded the paper. <em>"Dear Elsa, I'm so, so, so sorry I ratted on you the other day. You know I've seen you outside at the edge of the forest before, but I didn't say a word 'cause I could tell you actually looked happy. But I HAD to say something this time before you got hurt or something. I hope you're not mad at me. I know I got you in humongous trouble, but I was so worried something was gonna happen to you. I love you. Your very sorry sister, Anna. P.S. I don't know why you're scared and stuff, and I still want to know why, but I'll be out here for you whenever you're ready." <em>Elsa carefully folded the letter back up and put it away in her desk with the rest of the things Anna had pushed under her door through the years. _I'm not mad at you, Anna. I'm mad at myself. The crown princess of Arendelle is a failure. Anna, it's not your fault she can't spend time with her own sister._ Against Elsa's better judgment, she decided she wanted to send a note back to Anna. She would either stick it under her sister's door late that night (those secret passages became more and more useful every day, Elsa thought), or slide it under her own door next time Anna knocked.

Elsa sat down at her desk, thinking it was a lucky thing she had sprained her left wrist and not the right one. She could actually _sort of_ write with her left hand because she'd taught herself to print with it a few years ago out of boredom, but it was still tedious and slow. _And it looks like a five- or six-year-old wrote it whenever I do that,_ she giggled to herself. _Let's see…what do I reply to Anna? Wait, I can't write a reply back to her. I'll just be encouraging her to keep asking questions. It'd be better for her to just move on and forget about me. _Elsa reluctantly forced herself not to write a letter to Anna. She walked over to the still-missing window and gazed outside instead.

There were no knocks from anyone on Elsa's door the rest of that day.

* * *

><p>The next day, Anna came back and knocked on Elsa's door once again. "Hi, Elsa! Did…did you get my note?"<p>

_Yes_, Elsa thought.

"I was thinking if you didn't wanna talk, we could send letters back and forth instead. Couldn't we do that? I, um…still want to know why, so maybe letters would be good?"

_I can't. I better not. Sending Anna a reply is just going to increase her questions and curiosity. It's better if she decides to ignore me…right? _Elsa said nothing.

"Elsa, puh-lease? I won't tell Mom and Dad you gave me anything. That way you won't get in trouble," Anna said.

_Yes, I will. They'll find out somehow. And even if they didn't, it's safer for you to stay away from your dangerous sister._ Elsa replied in her mind, but still said nothing aloud.

There was a long silence before Anna burst out, "Well, good grief, Elsa, I don't know what else to do! That time we spent together was an awful tease. Why'd we have to stop talking and stuff? Because I still don't believe you're dangerous. You just need to get convinced otherwise." Anna paused for a moment, then added, "Elsa, are you mad at me? If that's a 'no', please say so. If it's a 'yes', then say nothing." _Surely Elsa will answer that…_

Elsa bit her lip and forced herself not to answer. _Anna, why did you have to ask me that question in that exact form?_

Anna waited and waited, but Elsa didn't say anything. "E-Elsa?"

_You can't reply, Elsa. Don't say anything. _Elsa pressed her fingers against her sprained wrist, hoping the ache would take her mind off Anna's talking outside in the hall.

"I guess you're…mad at me then," Anna said sadly. "What did I do to make you mad? Can I fix it?"

Elsa's heart twisted at the sound of Anna's sad tone. _You didn't do _anything_, Anna. It's me. I'm the problem, not you. _Tears trickled down Elsa's cheeks, and she didn't bother to wipe them away. What was the use? She'd just end up having to do it again. Snowflakes began falling around her. _Go away, stupid snow. _YOU_ are the problem. If I were normal, I could spend time with Anna. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

"I guess I'll go away like you asked me to the other day," Anna said.

Elsa heard Anna's trudging footsteps fade away down the hall. _It's good that Anna thinks I'm mad at her…right? I'm trying to keep her safe. Better I be depressed than risk hurting Anna again._

* * *

><p>The days and weeks crawled by. Elsa found herself retreating into the secret passages more and more, just to get away from miserable reality. The forced isolation of being in her room 247 was more distasteful for her than ever after spending those few afternoons outside. _It's like letting a starving person sniff and see a feast, and then not letting him or her actually eat it, _Elsa thought. It helped a _tiny_ bit to go to the secret entrance/exit to the forest and just look outside; but sometimes doing that just made her feel worse instead. By the time Elsa's wrist was completely healed, she knew every inch of those passages as well as the back of her hand. _Well, actually that expression is stupid for me since I hardly ever see the back of my bare hand, _she thought. _Maybe as well as my room? No, I know _that_ too well. Eight years can do that to a person._ That short time Elsa had spent with Anna haunted her too; the fact that she had had time with Anna only for it to be taken away again hurt her worse than if she hadn't spent time with Anna at all. _I miss Anna…I wish we hadn't had that time together at all. It's my own fault; I'm the one that initiated the whole thing by making myself sick trying to get rid of my…problem._

Elsa continued to fetch her meals from the kitchen late at night after everyone had gone to bed, so she had zero conversations now with anyone or anything besides her own thoughts. This was one thing she genuinely did not mind much; no people contact meant she didn't have to worry about hurting anyone.

Sometimes Elsa felt as if she were going stir-crazy. When that happened, she headed through the secret passages to Anna's room and sat just inside the secret entrance to Anna's room. Anna never knew she was there, but Elsa could hear Anna in her room and it made Elsa happier and calmer to be near Anna even if her sister didn't know she was there. More often than not, though, Anna was not in her room. Elsa could quickly decipher whether Anna was in her room or not. (Anna was rather noisy.) If she wasn't, Elsa headed back to her own room and sang something quietly, so no one would hear her.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

* * *

><p>Elsa attempted to put <em>all<em> her emotions, positive or negative or neutral, on strict lockdown all the time, every second now, because it was just too much for her otherwise. She always ended up making it snow or icing her room over, and completely failing at 'conceal, don't feel'. It was easier if the emotions weren't there in the first place. So Elsa put everyone and everything out of her heart and locked it all out. _Rather fitting, I guess. I'm locked in, and I lock everything else out, _Elsa decided.

* * *

><p>For Anna, life went on pretty much as it had before. She just knocked on her sister's door less and less often, hoping Elsa would eventually come to her on her own. Maybe bugging Elsa every day annoyed her since she wasn't ready to socialize with Anna. Anna couldn't completely ditch a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that Elsa's actions weren't entirely of her own choosing, though; whether she was genuinely mad at Anna or not. Something was still fishy and illogical with the whole thing. Whenever she asked her parents about it, she got ambiguous answers. "If Elsa is mad, just leave her alone." "Maybe she's busy." <em>Yeah, right, like she didn't hear me knock when she's right on the other side of the door,<em> Anna had thought (and said aloud) that time.

* * *

><p>Elsa also found some small solace in gazing out the <em>still-<em>missing window. Since she'd sealed the door shut that one time, her parents hardly ever came to her room anymore. The ice had long since melted, but Elsa didn't tell them otherwise the few times they did come to her, so they never saw that the window was still missing. That window could stay missing forever for all she cared; it let the outside air in, which Elsa liked. She loved daydreaming about the North Mountain for some reason. The idea of being on the summit at the top of the world fascinated her to no end.

Elsa found out that concentrating hard on something pleasant before falling asleep usually fended off any of her usual nightmares of hurting Anna again that would normally end with her waking up shaking in terror in a snow-and-ice-filled room. Once Elsa dreamed she had frozen the entire planet and the only way to fix it was by her own death, preferably carried out by her own hand. Elsa hadn't slept at all the rest of that night. She took some warped comfort in realizing that if something like that really did happen, that 'solution' would _not_ fix everything; it'd leave the planet in a permanent deep freeze with no way out instead. _Granted, I don't know how to thaw anything I freeze, but no one else does either, so…yeah._ Elsa began thinking hard about the North Mountain every night before she fell asleep. This would ensure her good dreams most of the time. Elsa's favorite recurring dream would go something like this.

_Elsa stood on the summit by herself. For some reason, the thin air so far above sea level never bothered her. She was wearing a summery light blue dress, no gloves, and she went barefoot. After all, the cold didn't affect her, so why would she wear heavy winter clothes when she didn't have to? She was by herself, so there was no need for her to conceal her powers. Somehow Anna would be there too, but she had ice powers too for some reason, so Elsa couldn't hurt her._

_ "Elsa, tag me!" Anna shouted, sending a blast of snow at her sister._

_ "You're on!" Elsa happily replied, chasing her sister about, showering her with snow._

Once dream-Anna had hit dream-Elsa with an ice blast, but it only knocked her over. In the dream-land, it had sort of hurt, but no more than a regular slap would. So it didn't really matter. Elsa ran after Anna and showered her with snow. Another time they fell off a cliff into a crevasse, but they landed in a huge powdery mound of snow, so they were completely unhurt.

And Elsa's absolute favorite dream (that only happened once) was the time she and Anna had been up on the North Mountain and they had somehow built a fancy overly-detailed igloo per Anna's request. The structure had been _huge_ and had slides and staircases and a chandelier and all sorts of other things. Then the two girls had a ball flying from one slide to the next, picking up speed and feeling like they were riding something that went a million miles an hour. When Elsa woke up from _that_ exhilarating and happy dream, she immediately sat down at her desk and began drawing the icy igloo structure from her dream. Who cared if it was an impossibility, a figment of her imagination? Elsa _loved_ that drawing so much when she was finished with it that she drew the outside of her dream building, the inside, and everything in between. She fastened all the drawings to her wall with ice by touching each corner of each sheet of paper to the wall with her bare finger. _Mom and Dad would be furious if they knew I purposely put ice on the wall, but they hardly ever come to my room anymore, so I think it'll be fine._ As weeks passed and the ice fasteners didn't even start to melt, Elsa grew curious. She finally came to the conclusion that the ice didn't melt because she really, honestly didn't want it to. (And Elsa's conclusion was absolutely right.) The ineradicable ice fasteners gave Elsa a small glimmer of hope that one day she'd be able to control her powers properly.

They were unchanging even when she lost control.

**A/N: Sorry if this got way overboard angsty. I was trying to explain why Anna walks past Elsa's door without knocking in the movie when they're 15 and 18.:/**

**Elsa and I don't own the sunshine song!:P Just pretend she made it up, ok?:)**

**Virtual applause to anyone who catches the slight reference to the "A Sister More Like Me" book.;)**

**Next chapter coming soon! **


	10. Winter

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-That's true...freezing the door shut was both a good move and a bad move on Elsa's part.:P Yes, Anna will get mad. I think just because Anna loves her parents doesn't mean she can't get mad at them.;)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Thanks for the review, sis;) Elsa and Anna will get their happy ending eventually.:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-I'm glad you're enjoying the story!:) I'm sorry it takes me awhile to update:P (I'm slow at typing:/) Not sure about the exact number of chapters...I can definitely say there are plenty more coming, and that I know exactly how the story will go.:)**

**NOTE: Ok, so I found out Elsa's birthday is supposed to be on the winter solstice and Anna's birthday is supposed to be on the summer solstice. Argh-_- I thought Elsa's birthday was in the summer since the coronation in the movie is when she's 21, and we KNOW the coronation is in the summer. Anyway, in my story, Anna's birthday is in the winter and Elsa's is in the summer. Sorry if that bugs anyone.:P**

**On to the story!:)**

Winter came, and with it Anna's birthday, just before Christmas. The night before Anna's birthday Elsa snuck down to the kitchen as she had been doing for the past six months.

_Let's see…I want to make Anna a cake. Nobody needs to know I'm the one who made it…I'll just leave it on the counter, _Elsa thought. Because she had never made a cake before in her life, it took three batches of ruined batter and two burnt cakes before Elsa came up with something that was actually edible and looked halfway decent. Elsa had just finished frosting and decorating it when she heard noises just outside the kitchen. _It must be morning! I have to get out of here… _She left Anna's chocolate cake on the counter and disappeared back into the secret passages, stealthy as a cat. Elsa was very happy with her night's work until she remembered she hadn't completely cleaned up the kitchen. The kitchen wasn't a huge mess or anything; but there was a dirty mixing bowl in the sink, and some flour and sugar on the counter and floor. Someone was sure to realize she had been in there. _As long as Anna gets the cake, I'll be happy,_ she thought. Elsa had tested the batter herself; and it had been tasty. _Anna will love it if she actually gets it._

Back in her room, Elsa took off her chocolate and flour streaked dress and gloves before putting on a clean nightgown and a new pair of gloves. Now she was actually tired from staying up all night making the cake for Anna, so she went to bed even though it was technically morning now. She would figure out what to do with the dirty clothes later. _I hope Anna likes the cake._ Elsa fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in months. The last thing she noticed was that it was snowing hard outside…and it wasn't because of her. _Natural snow_, Elsa's sleepy thoughts told her happily.

Elsa was rudely awakened by a sharp rap on her door. "Who is it?" she asked.

"It's your father, and I have just been informed that there was a mess in the kitchen this morning, and a cake. Did you do that? And may I come in?"

"Well, yeah-I mean yes," Elsa said. "I would have cleaned up the mess, but there wasn't time. Did Anna get the cake yet?" she asked hopefully. "Um, just wait a minute before you come in…" Elsa jumped out of bed, stuffed the dirty clothes under the bed, and swept the snow on her desk from outside onto the floor. Then she said, "Ok, you can come in now," from the far corner of the room.

Elsa heard the lock click open.

"That window is still missing?! Why didn't you tell someone, Elsa?"

_Who was I going to tell? The wall?_ "I don't mind it missing. In fact, I rather like it that way," Elsa said. _It lets the outside air and weather in._

"Elsa, don't leave a mess in the kitchen again. If that repeats itself, you can't go down there anymore."

"All right," Elsa said, because she had no intentions of leaving a mess in the kitchen again anyway. She really hadn't intended to leave a mess this time.

"Is that _ice_ holding your drawings on the wall over there?" Agdar asked.

"Yes…it's been there for awhile…" Elsa replied. _Please don't ask me to take them down; please don't ask me to take them down… And don't ask me exactly what the drawings are, either. They're just figments of my imagination…icy igloo structures with chandeliers and slides and staircases don't exist in real life._

"You aren't supposed to be using your powers, Elsa. You're supposed to be controlling them."

_You mean concealing them, not controlling them._ Elsa was sure even if she _did_ know how to control her powers, her parents still wouldn't be happy with her. _Ok, Elsa, you're getting angry and upset. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. Shut them out. Shut them out. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ "Don't you think my little ice-fasteners look controlled?" Elsa whispered, her blue eyes hopeful. "They haven't melted at all or grown in size when I've lost control or anything…they've looked exactly the same for months." Whenever Elsa felt discouraged about losing control, she would go and look at the ice-fasteners, which were always unchanging for some reason. They never started to melt. They never started to "eat" the wall when she lost control, either.

"They _HAVEN'T MELTED_ for months?! Ice always melts!"

Elsa's heart dropped to her toes at that reaction, but she did not cry, get mad, or lose control. The emotions lockout over the last few months had certainly helped. This reaction did not surprise her. She would not allow her feelings-that she pretended did not exist at all-to be influenced by things like this. _Of course Dad grabbed at that part of it. Why did I even say that? It's my own fault._ "Well, this ice doesn't melt. Because I don't want it to," she said quietly. "I'd like to be left alone, if you please."

"Do not make any more…non-melting ice. That is the strangest, most aberrant thing I've ever heard of, ice that doesn't melt for months... Ice is supposed to melt. Even the ice you make has always melted before."

_Strange and aberrant…ok, then. Thanks a lot-not. I guess I am, though. _"Thank you for the compliment," Elsa replied in a neutral tone that could be taken as a genuine 'thank you' or a statement reeking of sarcasm.

"What is that supposed to mean? Because that was not a compliment."

_It can mean whatever you want it to mean,_ she thought. _Ok, Elsa, you're getting mad again. Lockdown. Lockdown. _Elsa looked directly at her father but said nothing in reply.

After about thirty seconds of neither of them saying anything, Agdar left Elsa's room, and Elsa said, "Make sure Anna gets her cake," as he left.

She sealed the door shut with ice the second her father left. _I'd rather be alone than have an awkward conversation like that again. And I don't want that window being replaced, either._

* * *

><p>That afternoon, Anna stuffed a note under Elsa's door that said, <em>"Hi Elsa, I don't know if you're still mad at me or not, but thanks for the cake. Mom and Dad wouldn't confirm that you made it, but I'm sure you did anyway. It was yummy! Love, Anna."<em>

Elsa couldn't deny feeling delighted when she received that note, emotions lockout or no.

* * *

><p>The snow outside kept piling up over the next few days because it never warmed up enough for it to melt. Elsa took to scooping up all the snow off her windowsill and the part of the ledge she could reach, and bringing it into her room. Because the window was still missing, the natural temperature in Elsa's room stayed just above freezing and the snow did not melt. Elsa did not mind the cold temperature; she couldn't feel it anyway. In fact, the only reason she knew it was cold in her room was because the snow from outside didn't melt. She had no idea why she loved the snow from outdoors so much; after all, she hated the things her powers made most of the time. <em>Except for the ice-fasteners. I do like those. I guess I like the natural snow because it's the pretty version of the messes I always make; I don't know.<em> Now that it was winter and everything outside was covered in snow anyway, Elsa felt _much_ more at ease with herself and her powers. If she made a mistake and lost control, it wasn't noticeable.

* * *

><p>Late Christmas Eve night, Elsa decided she would give herself a present for Christmas. She'd go outside in the courtyard, just once, just for a little while. <em>If I lose control outside, no one will notice. The natural ice and snow will cover it up.<em> Elsa leaned out the window. There was still the problem that she was high above the ground, far too high to jump down. _How do I get down? There's snow on the ground, but it's still not soft enough to make it safe to just jump down…wait, I know exactly what to do. It's risky, but…_

Elsa stopped leaning out the window and came back into her room. _Do I dare? If I mess up…_ "It'll be fine because there's already a ton of snow out there," she said aloud, trying to convince herself. _Ok, Elsa, let's do this. Test it first to make sure you can, though._ She slipped off her gloves and tried to make a small pile of snow in the corner. It came out _much_ bigger than she had intended, but it didn't overtake her room or anything. That was good enough for her. She'd take what she could get. Before Elsa could convince herself that this was a risky, terrible idea, she leaned out the window again and purposely made a large mound of snow on the ground directly below her window. Elsa climbed out the window and dropped straight down into the snow mound. _It worked, it worked, it worked! Except now I'm half-buried in my own snow pile. Oops. Still, I don't care; I got down here safely without getting caught._ She dug her way out of the pile and glanced around the dark courtyard. _I haven't been down here for eight years…_ It still looked exactly as she remembered, though.

Remembering what her dream-self would do usually, Elsa slipped off her shoes and went barefoot. The snow had a pleasant crunchy-but-powdery sensation to her. _I love it out here._ She was in her element, except, as Elsa liked to say, "Water in any form isn't an element! It's a compound." _Figurative element, I mean, _she thought. Elsa rolled three snowballs and made a snowman, which ended up reminding her of Anna and their playtime so long ago in the ballroom when they had made a snowman and called him Olaf. _I wish I could be out here with Anna instead of by myself. No you don't; you might freeze her. Yes I do! SHE'S MY SISTER!_ Elsa retorted to the nasty voice in her head. _I shouldn't wish that, but I do. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown._

Elsa decided to test her creative skills and build an igloo. _I'm not using my powers; I'll do it the normal way,_ she thought. That couldn't harm anything. Besides, Elsa had realized that for some reason, she felt perfectly at home in the natural snowy environment. She did not feel like she was stuffing a part of herself away into oblivion like she usually did when she was trying to control her powers. She was just _there_. She was just _Elsa_, not _Elsa-the-girl-with-the-uncontrollable-ice-powers_. When her snow building/structure thing was finished (it did NOT look like a traditional igloo, Elsa noted), she surveyed her handiwork. It was a far cry from her dream building, but it was pretty cool nonetheless. _Yep, definitely cool. In both ways_, Elsa thought.

Elsa was thinking she had better go inside soon and was wondering how to get back up to her room when she heard the castle's main entrance doors open. She did the only thing she could think of. Elsa dove out of sight into her snow building and peeked out a crack in the wall. _It's Anna! What is she doing out here so late? I would have thought she was fussing at Mom and Dad to let her open her Christmas presents tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow morning._ Elsa pushed snow over the entrance to her little building so Anna wouldn't come inside.

"Oh wow, it looks like fairies visited!" Anna exclaimed. "Wait, I'm _way_ too old to think fairies really exist."

Elsa giggled to herself inside her hiding spot.

"_Big_ fairies, evidently. There are footprints made by bare feet all over the place out here…" Now Anna sounded puzzled. "These prints look people-sized!"

Elsa bit her lip. _Why did I do that?! Nobody but me would have gone traipsing through the snow with bare feet. And I think I left my shoes somewhere out there…_

Sure enough, a moment later Elsa heard Anna say, "Someone's out here, and I think it's a girl around my age! Come out, wherever you are! I've got your shoes, crazy person who is evidently going barefoot in the snow!"

Elsa was torn between being horrified or rolling with laughter. _Maybe both,_ she thought. If she was caught out here, it would only make trouble for her, but Anna's words made her feel like cracking up laughing. She watched through the crack as Anna inspected the outside of the snow building.

"Aha, I found the entrance. Hmm, I wonder why it was covered up…hey, wait a second, I know exactly who's out here," Anna said. _A girl close to my age; a closed-off entrance…it's Elsa! Who else could be in the castle courtyard anyway?_

Elsa scooted as far away from the entrance as she could. _I'm going to get caught…Anna's going to want to know why I'm out here…she's going to want to know why I'm barefoot…argh! And it's still not safe for her to be around me. SafER than in the summer, yes, but I'm still not completely in control._

Anna stuck her head inside Elsa's hideout. Although she had been fairly certain it was Elsa, she was still shocked to see her sister inside. "Elsa, what on earth are you doing out here with no shoes on IN THE SNOW?!" she blurted. _Elsa isn't even shivering…_ Anna was puzzled. Elsa was sitting in the far corner of the snow building wearing nothing but her navy blue dress. She wasn't wearing a coat or hat. And she was barefoot and not wearing any gloves or mittens. But Elsa didn't seem to be cold at all; she had slightly rosy cheeks, but that was it. "Um, Elsa, aren't you cold?"

Elsa shook her head and clasped her hands close to her chest. _Anna, I'm actually happy you're here, but you need to get away from me, just in case. Winter might make me more at ease about my powers, but I'm still certainly not completely in control…Emotions on lockdown._

"How can you be sitting in the snow with no shoes, coat, hat, or mittens and not be cold?! Come on Elsa, that's just weird and crazy…"

A hurt expression flashed across Elsa's face for a moment. _Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. You don't have a reason to be upset anyway, Elsa. Anna didn't mean anything by saying that. She wasn't trying to pick on you. Sitting in the snow barefoot without a coat IS weird to normal people._

Anna looked expectantly at Elsa, waiting for an answer, but she didn't invade Elsa's personal space by moving closer to her. She remembered how Elsa was scared of being touched for some reason, so she stayed with her head stuck in Elsa's little structure.

Elsa stayed sitting in the corner and said nothing. _Anna, go away. I know you came out here to build a snowman or something. Don't waste your playtime on me._ She looked down at her bare hands and wished she'd brought her gloves outside, even though she didn't mind the cold, couldn't even feel it, really.

"Elsa, do…do…do you wanna build a snowman with me?" Anna asked.

Elsa flicked her eyes toward Anna in surprise. _Anna wants to do something with me? The last she "heard" was that I was mad at her._ She nodded in reply but didn't make any move to leave the little snow structure.

"You do?!" Anna exclaimed happily, then paused when she noticed Elsa didn't seems to be budging from her spot at all. "Elsa…are you coming?"

Elsa shook her head in reply. _I can't. It's not safe…_

"I thought you said-nodded-that you'd build a snowman with me!" Anna watched as Elsa seemed to withdraw farther into herself and her thoughts. _Wait, I think she meant she WANTED to, not that she actually would…_ "Elsa, _will_ you build a snowman with me?"

_Wait! Slow down! …dead silence… You're ok, Anna, I got you. … This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done?_ Elsa's mind replayed the accident in her head.

Anna frowned. Her sister was staring into space, not really seeing anything except whatever was going on in her head. _What's eating her? It's like Elsa is here, but her mind isn't. _"Elsa! What's wrong?"

Elsa snapped back to reality at the sound of Anna's voice. _I can't build a snowman with Anna. It's too dangerous. I shouldn't even be out here._ She spoke to Anna for the first time since they'd been outside. "I do want to, but I just _can't_." Elsa's voice sounded plaintive.

_Well, I got Elsa to talk to me anyways_, Anna thought. "Then I'll sit with you in here till you change your mind." Anna crawled inside Elsa's hideout and sat as far away from Elsa as she could, remembering Elsa didn't like anyone getting too close to her.

Elsa gave Anna the tiniest hint of a smile. _She doesn't hate me. _"Don't…waste your playtime on me. You go build a snowman by yourself. I'll just stay in here and watch you." _I shouldn't be talking to Anna. The whole cycle with the knocking and 'why' questions will start up again. But I can't ignore her…and I really really don't want to, either… _ Elsa decided she would make an exception since it was Christmas Eve. She'd deal with the consequences later.

"C'mon Elsa, I'm not doing that. I'd feel like a jerk, playing around building a snowman while you sit in here by yourself. By the way, this thing you built is awesome! Way better than the snow forts I usually make. It's so _big_ and kinda detailed," Anna said. "Where'd you get the idea for it?"

"A dream." Elsa's expression was wistful as she laid a hand on the snowy wall next to her. _I wish it was real. That I could really, truly control it. That Anna built that huge icy building with me. That we were alone on the North Mountain together._

"Elsa, can you puh-lease tell me how you're touching the snow with your bare hand while sitting in the snow with no shoes or coat and you're not cold?! If you tell me, I'll tell you a secret!"

Elsa thought for a while before finally answering, "Natural immunity…the cold doesn't really bother me." _Did I reveal too much? Nobody is immune to the cold like I am…_

To Elsa's surprise, Anna accepted that without question. "Cool!" Then Anna whispered conspiratorially, "Pun intended."

Elsa smiled at her sister. "I like puns."

"Me too. My secret is that I sometimes sneak extra chocolate from the kitchen and dining hall and hoard it in my room." Anna moved a bit closer to Elsa, hoping maybe she wouldn't mind if Anna moved closer gradually.

"Don't come any closer!" Elsa's smile disappeared as she tried to scoot farther away from Anna; but Elsa was already sitting in the corner and there was no place for her to go. Elsa curled into a ball as she pulled her knees to her chest, making herself as small as possible. _You didn't bring those dumb gloves outside, Elsa. You can't make a mistake out here. You can't hurt Anna. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

Anna moved back to her original spot at Elsa's reaction. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean to…to scare you or make you uncomfortable." _But WHAT on earth is she so afraid of?_

"Don't apologize because of my behavior, Anna. _Never_ do that," Elsa said firmly. _She has no reason to apologize to me. I shouldn't be scared of being near her._

* * *

><p>They sat in silence for the next minute or so. Then Anna broke the silence by saying, "Elsa, I think I have an idea. You said you wanted to build a snowman with me, but you can'twon't/etc 'cause you don't want to get too close to anyone. So…how's this? We can each make part of the body by ourselves. Then we can each roll half of the third ball. Ta-da, we make a snowman together and you don't have to get anywhere near me!"

"You'd really do that with me?" Elsa searched Anna's face for any sign that she was kidding, but Anna looked a hundred percent sincere. _Anna's not kidding. I don't think I could stand it if she was. She really wants to do that with me!_

Anna watched in delight as Elsa's face went from surprised to questioning to relieved to excited. "Yeah, of course I will! C'mon! I'll help sneak you back inside too, 'cause I know you aren't supposed to be out here."

_I practically forgot about that problem of getting back inside. Thanks, Anna. _Elsa smiled. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Anna crawled out of Elsa's snowy structure and waited for her to follow.

"May I make the bottom?" Elsa asked when they were both out.

"Sure." Anna watched as Elsa rolled the bottom part of their snowman together. "Good grief, Elsa, it's making me cold just to look at you!"

Elsa glanced down at her bare feet and wiggled her toes. "I'm sorry? I'm really, honestly not cold though." She finished rolling the snowball before saying, "Ok, your turn." Elsa stayed several feet away from Anna while Anna rolled the middle part of their snowman. _This is so much fun. Best. Christmas present. Ever. Time with Anna!_

"Now you do half of the head and I'll do the other half!" Anna said. Elsa started making the head, and Anna added, "Let's call our snowman Olaf like we did when we were little."

Elsa stopped rolling the snowball in shock. _Anna remembers that?! Wait…she thinks we built Olaf outside with natural snow instead of with my snow in the ballroom. That's what it is._ Elsa didn't realize she was adding snow to the ball herself now.

Anna squinted at Elsa's hands and the snowball. "Elsa…I could swear that snowball seems bigger than it did a few seconds ago and you didn't move an inch…"

_I was making snow just now! Oops, big oops. Get it together, Elsa. Control it. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ "Maybe you misjudged the size," Elsa said. "Your turn now anyway."

"Yeah, I guess so." Anna finished rolling the head and stuck it on their snowman. "Hey, we don't have any eyes or mouth or nose!"

"Just draw the eyes and mouth on. I'll get us a nose," Elsa replied. She waited until Anna was paying attention to their snowman; then Elsa ran over to the courtyard wall and jumped up, trying to pull an icicle down. _Shoot, I can't reach them. Wait, maybe _I_ can get us an icicle…no, Elsa, you can't do that. Why not? It's just an icicle! Just ONE! You might lose control…no I won't, not this time. Besides, even if I do, it's already quite snow-covered out here…_ She turned to see Anna lying in the snow making snow angels. Elsa turned her back on Anna and formed an icicle in her palms. _Well, it's a little big, but it'll do. _She ran back to their snowman and stuck the icicle she'd made where a carrot would usually go. "How's that, Anna?"

Anna jumped up from her snow angel and looked at their snowman. "Cool! Where'd you get the icicle?"

"By the wall…" Elsa said, thinking that yes, she had gotten it over by the wall, but it was NOT off the wall like Anna thought.

Anna ran behind the snowman and said, "Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!"

Elsa tried to keep herself from laughing or crying, but she couldn't. She did both. _So much for the emotions lockdown. I'm happy _and_ sad right now. That's an improvement over feeling emotionally empty or depressed, anyways._ "I used to say that when we made Olafs when we were little…"

"Yeah, you did. What happened to us, Elsa? We were so close, and then everything just…fell apart. I miss you so much. The old you that snuck down to the kitchen to eat ice cream or chocolate with me late at night. The you that was actually…happy and animated. The you that wasn't terrified of people touching her. I hate seeing you all scared and depressed…" Anna trailed off. "Like even now, you don't look completely happy. You're also worried and upset about something. Can't I help you fix the problem?"

Elsa shook her head. _I miss the old me too. The eight-year-old me that was naïve and didn't know that she was a dangerous little freak. The me that hadn't almost killed her sister. Growing up and gaining more knowledge stinks some-no, _most_ of the time. And how on earth does Anna know how I feel? Am I that bad at concealing my emotions? _"You can't help, Anna. It's…something I have to deal with alone. I told you before, there's something wrong with me that can't be cured. I'm defective. Oh, and one more thing…how do know how I feel, Anna?"

Anna just stared at Elsa. "Elsa. Even if there _was_ something wrong with you that can't be cured, which I still don't believe in the least, that doesn't make you 'defective'. You're still my sister, and I care about you, no matter what is or isn't wrong with you. And you really want to know how I can tell how you feel? It's your eyes. They betray you every time. You might look totally unreadable apart from that, but your eyes show your real feelings. I don't think anyone else could read you though, in case you're wondering. Not unless they catch on or are INSANELY good at reading people."

_Anna, I _am_ defective. The crown princess of Arendelle is not supposed to have ice powers she can't control. It's absurdly weird to have ice powers in the first place. It'd be ok, I suppose, if I knew how to control it, but I don't. And Anna can read my emotions from my eyes?! It's a good thing I don't mind letting my true self show to her. I hope Mom and Dad can't read me like that._ "Thanks for trying to make me feel better," Elsa finally replied.

"Trying to? I failed then, didn't I…" Anna's voice trailed off in disappointment.

"You will NOT say you failed at anything, Princess Anna of Arendelle! This is my problem, not yours. It is _not_ your fault. You will _not_ blame yourself for the way I behave. You will _not_ regret your actions regarding things beyond your control, EVER. You will _not_ insult yourself for anything. You will _not_ change your identity to match people's expectations." Elsa spoke with a regal authority beyond her sixteen years. _I will make sure my sister doesn't ever become a failure like me. Anna will be perfect. But she'll be perfect AND stay true to herself and her personality. She will _not_ try to be perfect by others' austere standards. She will be perfect just by being herself, even if I can't and will never be able to._

Anna took a step backwards. She was surprised at how assertive and commanding her sister sounded all of a sudden. _Big change from the scared and upset Elsa that was here a minute ago… _Anna gave a nervous giggle. "Well, I can see why you're Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle. You'll be a great queen when you're a grownup someday." _Wait…did Elsa say those things because she wishes _she_ could follow through with them? Yeah, I think she did…Elsa, I'll do my best to take those words to heart. I wish you would tell me why you can't do those things yourself, though. Because to be quite honest, those are instructions Mom and Dad should have told us. But no…hey wait! "Changing your identity to match people's expectations"?! That's what Elsa is trying to do to herself? _ Anna was suddenly very, very angry at her parents. They were the only ones Elsa could be trying to do something like that for. _How dare they make Elsa want to change who she is! I still don't know what her real issue is, but that's awful…_ Anna decided she would have to have a talk with her parents about the whole thing, once she figured out how to keep from getting Elsa in trouble for talking to her.

_That's a highly debatable point, me being a great queen. I think I'd be ok as a leader if I didn't have ice powers I can't control, but with them like I am today and always will be? I'll probably send Arendelle to its Waterloo the first time I have to meet dignitaries from other countries…_ "Anna, have you heard of the Battle of Waterloo or the expression 'met its Waterloo'?" Elsa asked.

Anna frowned. "Yeah. That's when and where Napoleon got his butt kicked by the British and Prussians. Why do you ask?"

Elsa rolled her eyes at Anna's amusing explanation. "Right. I think I…I might send Arendelle to _its_ Waterloo if/when I'm queen. You should be heir apparent, not me." _Maybe I should abdicate in Anna's favor when the time comes…_

"Are…are you implying you would want to abdicate or something?!" Anna asked, puzzled.

Elsa slowly nodded.

"Elsa, that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. I do NOT want to be Queen of Arendelle! That's your job! I don't have all the knowledge and smarts you have on political stuff. I'm quite certain you've read tons of information on that sort of thing. To be quite honest, I'm not interested either! I'd probably ruin Arendelle by importing too much chocolate or something," Anna said.

Elsa couldn't help laughing at Anna's final sentence. She could see it now-Queen Anna importing more chocolate than anything else, making all the citizens live on chocolate or something and everyone going sugar crazy. "I should hope you'd have more sense than to have our people living on chocolate."

"Mmm, that doesn't sound so bad," Anna said, rubbing her tummy. "I love chocolate!"

"Anna, in all seriousness though, promise me you'll read some of the political books and documents, and some books on government and whatnot that are in the castle library. _Please_," Elsa replied.

"Ok, I will if it's so important to you," Anna said. "But you are not abdicating! You're supposed to be queen, not me. I'm just the spare."

"As future queen, I order you not to insult yourself by calling yourself 'just a spare'," Elsa said firmly. "You are _not_ 'just a spare'. You are second in line for the throne of Arendelle, and you _should_ be first in line. If I ever become queen, I will need your help…a lot of help…" Elsa glanced up at the windows of the castle. They had been outside for a long time now, and Elsa was afraid they were going to get caught. "And Anna…if your offer to help sneak me back inside is still on, I think we should go in. It's really, really late."_ I hope Anna has a good plan, because I'm going to be in huge trouble if anyone finds out I was out here._

_**A/N:**_**Next chapter coming soon.:) **


	11. Not Again

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-I'm glad you liked the chapter:) Cool, then it's not just me that likes their birthdays in reverse of when they're supposed to be. I think I will just continue with Elsa's summer birthday and Anna's winter birthday in my head anyway...;)**

**Lindstrom-Thanks for the review!:) I think Anna has more brains in her head than a lot of people give her credit for. She does stupid things sometimes (ie., riding off in the snow in a party dress, getting in engaged to Hans in one day), but I think mostly she's just impulsive.;) I like to think Anna actually takes a bit more consideration of how she treats Elsa, even if she still has no idea why Elsa shuts her out all the time.:)**

**On to the story! We left Elsa and Anna outside getting ready to figure out how to sneak Elsa back inside...:)**

"Well…all right. It probably IS crazy late. Come on, I'll help you get back up to your room. I have an idea." Anna ran across the courtyard with Elsa trailing several feet behind her.

"Anna. What. Is. That. For?!" Elsa asked, pointing at the ladder Anna had just pulled out of the snow by the side of the castle. _Don't tell me Anna thinks I'm climbing on the roof…_

"We're gonna climb up on the castle wall and jump over onto the roof. I'm not a hundred percent sure which window ledge is yours, but I THINK it's that one," Anna said, pointing to the correct window. It was practically impossible to see the missing window in the dark, though.

"Wait…what?! Last time I climbed on the roof, I sprained my wrist. It seemed like forever before it was completely better. I do _not_ want to get on the roof again. I'm too clumsy up there," Elsa replied, shaking her head.

Anna began giggling as she said, "You mean back in the summer when you hurt your wrist, it was from being on the roof?"

"Yes, it was," Elsa said in her best dignified voice. "I went out on the ledge outside my window, and when I tried to climb back inside, I…"

"Yeah…go on…" Anna prompted.

"I literally fell into my room and tumbled through the window. I guess I landed funny on my wrist. The end. Now are you quite finished being amused by your sister's mishap?" Elsa asked. The whole incident was rather embarrassing to Elsa now; she thought the crown princess probably should not have been climbing out there in the first place. _Although the view from up there _was_ amazing…_

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry for laughing at you, Elsa. It's just funny 'cause you're always so elegant and stuff and you just told me you sprained your wrist by falling into your room from the ledge outside on/around the roof. But really, there's no need to be embarrassed. It's no big deal. Come on, Elsa, I'll hold the ladder steady for you. There is no other way for us to get you back up to your room without being seen," Anna said.

Elsa sighed. _Anna's right. The only reason I was able to get out here was through the window, so it makes sense I need to get back in the same way._ "All right," she conceded. "But you have to promise to hold the ladder!"

"I will," Anna promised.

Anna held the ladder still, and Elsa quickly climbed up on the castle wall. "Anna, I forgot my shoes!" Elsa said from her perch atop the wall.

"Right, I'll get 'em," Anna replied. She grabbed Elsa's shoes and clambered up the ladder herself.

Elsa walked cautiously along the wall, her arms held out for balance.

"Wait up, Elsa. I'm coming," Anna said, following Elsa's footprints in the snow on the wall.

"Ok. Please don't get too close to me…" Elsa replied. _I should be more scared up here than I am. It's not safe to climb on the castle wall, especially when it's snowed and iced over. Wait…I don't slip on ice, but Anna can! I've gotta keep an eye on her!_

They proceeded a short distance along the wall until Anna said, "We have to jump over to the roof now."

"We have to do what?! That's too far to jump!" Elsa exclaimed, eying the large gap between where they were and the actual roof.

"Elsa, shush up! Someone might hear you! And it'll be fine. Go on, Elsa. Even if we do fall, we'll land in snow. We won't get hurt. At least I don't think so," Anna tried to assure Elsa.

_Anna, you're silly. I don't think that snow is soft enough to break a fall… _Elsa bit her lip and looked back at the gap, trying to judge the exact distance. _Ok, Elsa, you can do this. Come on._ She leaped the gap and successfully landed on all fours on the icy roof, the only issue being a stubbed toe. _I should have put my shoes on before trying this. But at least I made it anyways. And it's really icy up here…_ "Anna…it's very icy up here. It's probably slippery."

"_Probably_ slippery? You're right on top of it; can't you tell if it's slippery or not?"

"Ok, it's slippery then," Elsa said, figuring that any sort of ice was probably slippery to anyone besides herself. "Anna…I'll go the rest of the way alone. You don't have to follow me."

"But I thought you didn't want to climb up there anyway," Anna protested. "At least I can help you by simply letting you know someone's got your back."

"Anna, I don't even want anyone near me or touching me. You can't help me even if I do slip. Just stay there and you can just go back along the wall and down the ladder without bothering with me any more," Elsa replied. "Do not follow me," she added, hoping a direct 'order' might make Anna listen. Elsa began moving along the roof very slowly toward her window's ledge.

* * *

><p>Anna stood atop the wall, watching Elsa edge her way along the roof. <em>I should follow Elsa anyway. If she slipped, I'm sure she'd rather someone catch her than let her fall even if she doesn't like people touching her.<em> Without thinking it through further, Anna attempted the same catlike leap that had landed Elsa safely on the roof from the wall. But the roof was far more slippery than Anna had expected, especially considering the fact that Elsa had acted as if she weren't entirely sure whether it was slippery or not. Anna scrabbled to get a sure grip on the icy roof and let out a yelp.

Elsa, who was almost to her window by now, whipped around toward the sound and nearly lost her own balance. "Anna!" _Anna's going to fall. I told her not to follow me! Anna's going to fall. I gotta help her. No wait, I can't touch her. I might hurt her. But…if I don't help her, she will definitely get hurt. "Might" is better than "definite". _With this logic, Elsa began edging back towards Anna. "Hold on, Anna, I'm-"

Too late. Elsa could only watch in horror as her sister screamed and slipped off the slick, icy roof and tumbled to the snow-covered ground below. _Please let Anna be ok. Please…she wouldn't have come up here at all if it wasn't for me. _"ANNA! Anna, are you ok?!" No answer. Elsa quickly edged all the way to her window and dropped down into the soft, powdery snow mound she'd made to get down to the courtyard in the first place. _Come on, Anna, I hope you're just playing a nasty prank on me. Or didn't hear me shout._ She shook all the snow off and ran over to Anna, making sure to stay several feet away. Elsa noticed with growing unease that the snow in this area wasn't the soft, powdery stuff in her own snow mound. "Anna? Please answer me! Please…if this is a joke, it's not funny anymore…" _Anna's unconscious. She must have hit her head when she fell. What am I supposed to do?! You have to go get your parents, Elsa. You know you do. You failed to protect her again, Elsa. Just like when you were eight. Not again! Please...no..._ "Except this time it wasn't my powers," Elsa whispered, her voice breaking. "It was because I waited too long to decide to help."

Elsa's mind flashbacked to the accident from when they were little. _Wait! Slow down! …dead silence… You're ok, Anna, I got you. … This is getting out of hand. Elsa, what have you done? What have you done? What have you done? _Elsa clapped her hands over her ears. "Make it stop! I can't take it anymore!" _Ok, Elsa, get back. To the present. Go get. Mom and Dad. To help Anna. Now._ Elsa gave her sister one last concerned glance before running blindly to the main castle entrance. She faceplanted in the snow halfway there, but immediately jumped up and continued running. _Elsa. You can. Do this. Stay in. The present. Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel._ Elsa ignored the fact that most of the hairpins holding her bun together had fallen out and her long hair was tumbling down her back now.

Elsa threw the castle doors open and brushed her hair out of her face. _Ok, Elsa, go to your parents' room. They're probably sleeping by now._ She ran to the main staircase and dashed up the stairs as fact as she could go. When she arrived in front of the door to her parents' room, she bit her lip before knocking loudly on the door.

"It's after midnight! We are not opening presents until morning, Anna," Agdar said from inside.

Elsa turned the knob and opened the door. "It's not Anna…it's me…"

Now Elsa had both her parents' complete attention. "Elsa, what in the world are you doing here? Did you break the lock again?" Agdar asked.

"Why are you all wet? And what happened to your shoes and gloves?" Idun asked.

_Stop interrogating me!_ "I…that is…we…you have to help Anna. Anna…courtyard…unconscious…" Elsa couldn't form a completely coherent explanation, but it was enough.

"Anna is outside in the courtyard unconscious for some reason. Is that right?"

Elsa nodded vigorously. "Help her, please!" _Please let Anna be ok…_

* * *

><p>Idun went to take care of Anna, and Agdar took Elsa back to her room.<p>

"I froze the door shut," Elsa said when her father asked why her room's door wouldn't open.

"Elsa, what else have you done tonight that you weren't supposed to?"

_What have you done? What have you done?_ The question ricocheted in Elsa's mind again. She was almost shaking now; hearing that again, for real this time, was just too much for her. _Elsa, calm down. You're making a spectacle of yourself. Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. _"Is Anna…going to be…all right?"

"Elsa, what happened in the courtyard? How did you know what happened to Anna?"

"I…went outside by myself at first…" _Elsa, just say exactly what happened. You're going to get in who knows how much trouble anyway, so just say everything._ "Through the window. Then-"

"You aren't supposed to go outside, and that window is far too high to jump down from anyway, Elsa."

"I made a snow mound to land in," Elsa admitted.

"You did _what?!"_

_There's a ton of snow out there anyway…it's impossible to tell I did that… _"Please just let me finish explaining. Then you can ask me whatever you see fit. So, once I was in the courtyard, I was making a snow building. The _n__ormal_ way, not with my powers," Elsa quickly added when she noticed her father's expression. "Right after I finished it, I heard Anna come outside and I hid in my building. Anna found me. We talked for awhile. Anna was trying to help me climb back up on the roof to get back in my room…she slipped off because it was icy and I couldn't reach her in time. I got down myself and came inside to get help for Anna…" she trailed off. "So that's what happened." _Now you can get horrendously mad at me if you want._

"Does Anna know about your powers?"

"No." _I kinda wish she did, though, _Elsa thought.

"Were you running around outside with no shoes or gloves the whole time?"

Elsa nodded. She watched as her father started taking her door off the hinges. "What are you doing with my door?"

"Taking it off so we can break down the ice behind it. How did you explain to Anna that you were running around in the snow barefoot?"

"I said I had natural immunity…that the cold doesn't really bother me," Elsa said. _I could just get back into my room via the secret passages…_

"Do you realize how close your sister came to finding out? Natural immunity…really, Elsa."

Elsa plopped down on the floor and leaned against the hallway wall. She was not going to talk any more about this whole thing. _Dad can just stand there and beat up on my ice barrier all night; I don't care. I just want to know if Anna is all right._

"If you made a snow mound to get yourself down into the courtyard safely, why didn't you do the same for your sister?"

Elsa said nothing. _Dad made a huge fuss about whether or not Anna knows about my powers. Now he wants to know why I didn't make a snow mound for her to land in. Ironic. No matter what I do, it's always the wrong thing. If I _had_ done that, he would have been mad that I revealed my problem to Anna. Or I could have missed and hit Anna again._ She shuddered at that thought.

"You are forbidden to have contact with Anna in any way. That includes letters and whatnot. I can't risk you telling her about your little ice problem or hurting her with it again."

_What else is new? _"So basically I will be locked in my room again like before and everything will be just peachy for everyone but me, as usual," Elsa said crossly. "Because I'm dangerous, and weird, and abnormal; and you don't want anyone to see me." _Shut up, Elsa. Why did you say that? You'll just make things worse for yourself. You know you have to stay away from people. It isn't safe. Emotions on lockdown. Conceal, don't feel._

"Don't be rude, Elsa. Why don't you help take down this ice that shouldn't be here in the first place?" Agdar was getting frustrated with Elsa's ice barrier; it didn't seem to be budging as much as it should. It had cracked a little, but that was it.

_Because I don't want to. And I can technically get into my room through the secret passages anyway._ Despite her thoughts, Elsa got to her feet and looked the ice barrier she'd made up and down. _Wouldn't it be funny if I could shatter it when Dad couldn't…it IS mine, after all. I made it. I should be able to break it if I want to. I can always put it up again._ Elsa gave the ice her strongest punch. Immediately tiny cracks spread through the ice barrier, weakening it. _Wait…the cracks made a snowflake pattern. _She pounded the ice again in another spot. The cracks formed another snowflake identical to the first. Elsa smiled. _I have a signature snowflake! It's _mine._ Snowflakes are never identical to one another._ _I'm trying to break down something I made, but it's actually making something _pretty_ for once. Not ugly, creepy, threatening icicles._ One more punch, and Elsa's smile grew bigger. _The same pretty snowflake pattern! It's mine, mine, mine! My powers can actually make something pretty!_

"What are you smiling at, Elsa?"

"I have a signature snowflake!" Elsa blurted. "Look!" She pointed to the ice barrier, which was now covered with three large, clearly defined identical snowflake patterns in the cracks.

"You're supposed to be taking the barrier down, not reinforcing it with your ice snowflake patterns."

Elsa's face fell. _Of course Dad doesn't care. Probably doesn't even want to know._ "I _am_ trying to take it down. The snowflake patterns are cracks, not more ice." A minute later, Elsa managed to get the barrier weak enough that it crashed to the floor into hundreds of pieces.

"That window needs to be replaced," Agdar said. "Don't go outside again. And don't-Elsa, what are you doing?"

Elsa darted into her room, ignoring the fact that she'd stepped on one of the sharp ice shards in the doorway with her bare feet. _You are _not_ replacing that window, Dad. I won't go outside though._ She lifted her hands, ready to put that ice barrier back up now that she was on the side she wanted to be on.

"Elsa, what are you doing?!"

Elsa glanced at her father and immediately wished she hadn't. _Dad thinks I'm going to freeze him or something. He looks…scared…_ She dropped her hands and walked back towards the doorway, slightly favoring the foot she'd stepped on an ice shard with. "I'm putting my barrier back up. Not freezing you. No matter what you think of me, I would _never_ do that," Elsa said sincerely. "At least not on purpose," she amended, remembering that she had hit Anna once, and she certainly hadn't meant to do that to her little sister. Elsa couldn't stand the mixed look on her father's face any longer. Up went her ice barrier, and Elsa turned from the doorway. "Just please let me know how Anna is doing. That's all I want." She plopped on her bed, looked at her foot, and pulled out a tiny splinter of ice. _Stupid ice shard-or should I say splinter. I hurt myself with my own ice…ironic._ Elsa tossed the ice splinter out the window before putting on some shoes and slipping her gloves back on. _My room is a hazard to everyone, including me._ She picked all the ice shards up and threw them out the window.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Elsa felt rather than actually saw the fact that her door was reinstalled. Elsa put on her nightgown before sitting curled in a ball on the window seat, gazing into the darkness outside. <em>I'm not going to bed till someone tells me how Anna is. I hope she's ok. Why couldn't I have been the one to fall instead of her? Anna didn't deserve that. She's not the one who was outside when she wasn't supposed to be. Although I do kinda doubt she had express permission to go outside late at night, either.<em> Elsa absentmindedly braided her hair into a single braid and pulled it over her shoulder. _I'm just going to go to sleep soon; I'll put it up like I'm supposed to tomorrow._ Elsa's mind flitted to her signature snowflake pattern she'd discovered earlier._ I want to see my snowflake pattern again. That was actually pretty._ Without considering it further, Elsa slipped her gloves off and tried to think how to make an actual ice snowflake like those cracks had formed. _I shouldn't be doing this. Mom and Dad would kill me if they found out I was using my powers on purpose, especially for something frivolous. _Elsa's face grew determined a second later. If she was going to be stuck with her powers for forever, then she wanted to see the one pretty thing she knew they could make. She had no idea how to purposely make _anything_ with her powers (besides ice barriers) after not using them for eight years. Elsa decided maybe her thoughts controlled what she was making, so she closed her eyes and thought about an oversized ice snowflake. Elsa felt a tingling sensation in her fingertips as the ice snowflake from her thoughts formed between her palms. She opened her eyes and stared at it. _I made that! I MADE THAT!_

The ice snowflake had the exact same pattern as the cracks Elsa had seen in the ice barrier earlier. A shimmering blue glow surrounded the snowflake as it floated in Elsa's hands. Tears of happiness slid down Elsa's face as she looked at the delicate, pretty, little object in her hands. _It's mine. I actually _made_ that. That isn't ugly or threatening. It's almost…beautiful. No, it _is_ beautiful. I'm…the Snow Princess. That's what I am. Just for tonight. _Elsa hesitantly took one hand off the snowflake and held it in her other hand. Her free hand made an identical snowflake, only tinier. She stuck it on the end of her braid and continued watching her original oversized ice snowflake, mesmerized. _I wish I could show Anna. Anna would love to see this._

That abruptly tore Elsa's happy thoughts away from her. _How can you think things like this, Elsa? Anna doesn't want to see that. You're dangerous. You're an abnormal freak. You almost killed your sister when you were little. And now you're calling yourself the Snow Princess? _"I'm a…a creep for thinking things like that. A monster," she mumbled aloud. Elsa's ice snowflake fell to the floor and shattered. Elsa glanced down at the shattered snowflake and burst into tears. _I feel about as broken on the inside as that looks on the outside._ The whole thing just felt too symbolic to Elsa's battered mind and heart. One second she was happy and the next everything was ruined and impossible to fix. Elsa grabbed her gloves before she could freeze something or make another mess. _Elsa, you need to dump all your emotions. Remember the emotions lockdown? It's the best thing to do. You need to stay sane. Sixteen-year-old girls should not be having terrifying flashbacks of hurting their sisters like you do sometimes. Shut it out. Shut everything out. _"I'll certainly not let myself lose my head and think my powers can be something pretty again," Elsa said. She would never purposely use her powers again aside from her ice barriers against her door. _I don't deserve to think they can be something pretty,_ Elsa thought. _I was stupid for even thinking that temporarily._

Elsa's inner monologue was interrupted by a knock on her door. "Who is it?"

"It's Gerda, Princess Elsa. Your sister has a slight concussion and a headache, but she's going to be just fine."

Elsa sighed in relief. "Are you _sure_ Anna is going to be fine?"

"Yes, she's already awake and talking clearly. You did the right thing by coming to get someone right away, princess, even though you knew doing so would get yourself in trouble."

_Anna's going to be fine! She's going to be ok! I actually did something right for once._ Elsa gave a dry laugh. "I'm in the same amount of trouble I always am. No more, no less." Elsa's tone changed to grateful as she added, "Thank you for telling me how Anna is doing."

"You are quite welcome, Princess Elsa."

Elsa listened to Gerda's footsteps fade away. Then she climbed into bed. _I'm going to go down to the castle library tomorrow. I want to sing and play Christmas carols on the piano, if I'm still able to do that. You can celebrate Christmas by yourself, Elsa._ She'd just lock the door to the library and everything would be just fine. Maybe Anna would hear Elsa playing and singing. Elsa certainly hoped so.

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	12. Christmas

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-Thanks for the review! I completely agree...Elsa should have some reason to like her powers.:)**

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa awoke early the next morning despite the fact she had stayed up half the night. She was happy that she hadn't had any bad dreams during the night. _No dreams at all, actually. That's fine with me. Wait, it's Christmas morning! I wonder what Anna is doing…_ Elsa hopped out of bed and dug through her closet for something red or green. She wanted something Christmas-y even if no one was going to see her. _Most of my stuff is blue 'cause it's my favorite color…_ There was absolutely nothing red or green in that closet aside from a dress that was way, way, way too small for her, which Elsa had no idea as to why it was still in there. _That must have been my Christmas dress from when I was eight, I guess, I don't know._ Elsa had just decided to put on one of her usual blue dresses when she heard a knock on her door.

"I have a present for you from your sister, Princess Elsa," Gerda said. "May I come in?"

"There's an ice barrier by the door…let me see if I can move it," Elsa answered from inside. Elsa remembered she'd made the barrier before the door was reattached, so if she could move it, then the door would be free to open. She looked closely at the ice, trying to find a weak attachment point. _It's stuck to the floor and my side of the wall... _ Elsa stuck her fingers between the wall and the ice at the small opening she'd found. Then she pulled on it as hard as she could. The ice and wall creaked loudly. _Come on, Elsa, you made this thing. Get it…unstuck._

"What are you doing in there?" Gerda asked.

"I've…almost…got it…" Elsa said. One more heave and the barrier slid away from the door in one piece, making Elsa stumble backwards and almost fall. "Ok, I got it moved." Elsa retreated to the opposite side of the room before saying, "You can come in now."

Elsa heard the lock click open, and Gerda came in holding a red dress with green trim. "Gerda, what's that for?"

"Princess Anna wanted you to have it. I quote, 'Elsa needs a Christmas dress! I bet she hasn't got one.', unquote. She'd been planning it for awhile now, but she reminded me yet again about it this morning. She made up the design herself."

Elsa smiled. _Anna was planning that when she thought I was mad at her then. _"Well, Anna was right. I don't have one. I hope it fits!" Elsa watched Gerda lay the dress on Elsa's bed.

"Oh, it will fit. I took the measurements off one of your dresses when I did the laundry before giving it back to you."

"Please tell Anna I said thank you very much," Elsa said. _I don't have a present for Anna! _"And give her…give her…this." Elsa pulled a blue-green dress out of her closet, remembering that her sister's favorite color had been green when she was little. "Tell her if she doesn't like it I won't mind. At least she'll know I don't hate her or something…Gerda, do you think my parents would let me see Anna just for a few minutes today? Because it's Christmas?" Elsa asked hopefully. _They won't though, Elsa. Don't get your hopes up just to be disappointed._

"I don't know, princess," Gerda said truthfully. "I'll ask for you, but I would suggest not getting all excited about the idea…"

"I know. I don't even want to get near Anna; I just want to talk to her," Elsa replied.

"Well, on another note, I brought you some Christmas cookies and milk as well." Gerda set the plate of cookies on Elsa's desk.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>After Gerda left and Elsa had shoved the ice barrier back into place, Elsa finally got a good look at her new Christmas dress from Anna. The dress was a deep cranberry red with a green rosemaling design along the hem and on the bodice with the slight sweetheart neckline; and it was sleeveless with wide off-the-shoulder straps. <em>I love it except for the fact it's sleeveless. <em>Elsa always wore long-sleeve dresses, all year long. _It's so pretty, though…maybe it'd be all right just for today._ Elsa slipped the dress over her head and smoothed it down in all the right places before looking in the mirror. _I actually look…grown up. Elegant, like Anna likes to call me._ She giggled as she looked at herself in the mirror, her messy single braid hanging over her bare shoulder. _That girl in the mirror doesn't look like a freak. She actually looks…pretty._ Elsa clasped her gloved hands out of sight behind her back._ There. Now all signs of my usual abnormal self are gone. Wait…I still have a snowflake in my braid. That needs to go._ She took the snowflake out of her hair and put it in the very back of a desk drawer; she couldn't quite bring herself to throw it out for some reason even though she thought she should. So out of sight it went into the drawer. _I can't deny that I still like that snowflake. It's _mine_, and it _is_ pretty. But I don't want to see it anymore. _Maybe she would want to see it again someday in the future.

But probably not.

Elsa undid her braid and brushed out her hair. _I wonder what would happen if I just left it loose. Nah, I better not. I'm trying to increase my chances of getting to see Anna, not mess it up more than it is already._ She wanted to do _something_ different though, something different to go with her Christmas dress from Anna. _You know what? I like that single braid best, so I'm going to fix it that way just for today._ A minute later, Elsa's braid was finished. She noticed a sprig of holly decorating the plate of cookies Gerda had brought her. Elsa stuck the holly on the end of her braid. Then she sat down at her desk and ate a few of her cookies (which were delicious) and drank her milk.

She wished someone would hurry up and come tell her whether she could see Anna or not. _Even if the answer is no, at least I won't be held in suspense any longer._ Elsa began pacing back and forth and realized she felt way too exposed in this dress, even with her gloves on. She debated on just taking it off, even though she genuinely liked the way the dress looked; but decided against it. _It's just bare arms and shoulders, Elsa. You'll be fine. If I do get to see Anna, I don't want her to think I didn't like her present._

* * *

><p>Elsa was very glad she'd kept the dress on a few minutes later when she heard a knock on her door. She struggled to slide the ice barrier away from the door and shove it in her bathroom. Then she shut her bathroom door and glanced around her room to make sure there wasn't any more ice anywhere. <em>Ok, nothing else is in here…wait, there's snow in the corner.<em> Elsa tossed the snow out the window.

"Princess Elsa, if you want to see your sister, you two need to make it quick. Your mother said it was ok-only for today only for a minute-as long as you two were only talking and you didn't get anywhere near her, but I didn't ask your father. I have a feeling he wouldn't have agreed. May I open the door?" Gerda said quickly.

"Yes!" Elsa said happily as she headed to the other side of her room. _I'm going to get to see Anna!_

Elsa heard the lock click open; then Anna's footsteps come down the hall. Then Anna opened the door and said, "Merry Christmas, Elsa! Ooh, wow, that dress looks sooo pretty on you! I love it! You look all grown up!"

Elsa giggled. "Gerda told me you came up with the design. You would love it! Thank you, Anna. Is your head all right?" Elsa frowned as she noticed the bruise on her sister's forehead.

"Yeah, it's fine. I've got a hard head. I mean, I've still kind of got a headache, but otherwise it's fine," Anna said. "Elsa…I know what you did last night for me after I fell. And that it, like, got you in trouble. Thanks for helping me."

Elsa looked down at the floor. "You would have done the same thing, Anna. It was no big deal. It was my fault for being too slow…" _It was my fault anyway. If I'd immediately gone to help Anna instead of mulling it over, maybe she wouldn't have fallen in the first place._

"It was too a big deal. Stop blaming yourself for what happened. Remember what you told me last night? You said, 'You will not regret your actions regarding things beyond your control'. Elsa, it is _not_ your fault I fell. I don't think you could have gotten to me in time without falling yourself," Anna said.

_Maybe Anna's right. Even if I had immediately tried to get over to Anna, I wouldn't have been fast enough. I would have been closer, yes, but not close enough._ Elsa gave Anna a small smile. "Thank you, Anna."

"You are quite welcome, Elsa. Will you turn around? I wanna see your dress twirl!" Anna said.

Elsa obliged, and spun around, making the skirt of her dress bell out. "Is that what you wanted, Anna?"

"Yeah! Hey, wait a minute…Elsa, why are you wearing gloves again now? I know it's not 'cause you're cold…" Anna looked confused. _Elsa was outside in the snow last night without gloves or even shoes, and now she's wearing them inside? That's odd…_

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back out of sight. "I…have to," she said. _Why did Anna have to ask me that? It's a logical question, but I can't answer it properly._

"Why do you have to?"

Anna's innocently curious expression made Elsa want to tell her sister why, but she couldn't. _Not only would I be in the worst trouble on the planet, I can't ruin Anna's innocence by telling her that her sister is a freak. _Although Elsa didn't want to admit it, deep down inside she was also slightly afraid her sister would be scared of her if she knew, especially if Anna knew what had happened when she and Elsa were little. After all, Elsa _knew_ her parents were scared of her. She could see it in their faces whenever they were around her. Elsa didn't think she could stand it if her little sister was scared of her too. _Or worse yet Anna might hate me or something. Big sisters aren't supposed to almost kill their little sisters. Only monsters would do something like that. _"Anna, you…you…you'd b-better leave," Elsa stammered. "I…I'll…I'll miss you. M-merry Christmas, Anna." Elsa turned away and rested her forehead against the wall, trying not to cry.

"Gerda, did I do something wrong? Elsa seemed happy and then…well, she's over there crying in the corner now," Anna whispered.

Elsa heard Anna's whisper and suddenly whipped around in Anna's direction before saying, "You did _not_ do anything wrong, Anna! Just…shut the door, please. I…I need to be alone." _Anna, please don't think you did something wrong because of the way I act. Please._

"Elsa, it's Christmas! You shouldn't be alone!"

"I'm just trying to protect you!" Elsa said. _From me…_

"How does you shutting me out protect me?!" Anna was incredulous at that idea.

_You don't understand, Anna._ Elsa felt like she was about to lose control, so she ran across the room to shut the door.

Anna just _knew_ what Elsa was going to do. _She's gonna shut that door again._ "Elsa, wait. Please don't slam-"

Too late. The door slammed shut, and once again Elsa and Anna were separated by a locked door. It wasn't a moment too soon for Elsa, who immediately ended up making ice under her feet the instant the door was shut. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_

* * *

><p>Out in the hall, Anna gave Elsa's door a kick. "That's no fair, Elsa! I wasn't finished talking to you! We even had <em>permission<em>!"

"Well, I'm finished talking to you! You don't understand!" Elsa blurted before she could stop herself. _It's not whether we have permission or not, Anna. I don't want to hurt you again!_

Gerda tried to get Anna to leave Elsa's door, knowing nothing good could come of the two girls practically yelling at each other; but Anna wasn't having it. "Yeah, I don't understand 'cause it doesn't make any sense!"

"It makes more sense than you know! Leave me alone!"

"You've been alone for _eight years_, Elsa! That's plenty long enough! Who wants to be alone for that long? Nobody, that's who!"

"_ 'Nobody, that's who!'_ Monumental deduction, Anna! Do you think I enjoy being alone all the time?! 'Cause I don't! I hate it; I abhor it; I loathe it!" Elsa shot back. She knew she should just shut up before everything got worse, but a tiny part of her _liked_ shouting. It felt _good_ to tell somebody how she really felt. Elsa's purely (at the moment) angry feelings made amber-colored ice begin spreading on the floor. _I'm so tired of trying and failing to be that perfect, good girl I'm supposed to be. But I have to. If anything, just for Anna's sake so she doesn't have to._

"If you hate it so much, why don't you stop isolating yourself in your room?!" Anna clapped her hand over her mouth a second later. _I know Elsa doesn't isolate herself completely of her own accord. She can't stop even if she a hundred percent wants to. But then why did she shut the door on me? No one made her do that just now…_

There was dead silence on Elsa's side of the door for a good fifteen seconds. Snow began swirling around Elsa's room, but she didn't make an effort to calm herself down right then. _How dare Anna say that. It's not entirely of my own choosing! If I had my way, I'd still stay by myself in my room; but I would talk to Anna through the door and get out of here when there's no one around that I might hurt. I hate myself. I hate everything and everybody! I wish I could disappear so I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. Or better yet, my powers could disappear. Yeah. That'd be perfect. I HATE THEM. That's why I'm stuck in here. I can't leave. I'm trapped. I have responsibilities for being the queen of Arendelle in the future. I wish I didn't. I wish Anna was the heir apparent, not me. But she doesn't even want to be. I hate this room. I hate that door. I hate my powers. I hate what Anna just asked me. I can't stop 'isolating myself in my room'. I can't tell Anna why. I can't make her understand. I can't even control myself! I can't do anything I want to do!_ Elsa felt like she was going to explode. Too late, Elsa realized she'd let herself, her powers, and her thoughts become way, way, _way_ beyond her control. "I CAN'T!" Before Elsa really knew what was happening, she felt something explode out of her with a painful yank and the next moment, her room's walls were covered in sheets of ice. Elsa stood in the center of her room, taking deep shuddering breaths and blinking in confusion. _What just happened to me? That was…freaky…_

"Elsa, what just happened in there?" Anna's voice sounded very far away to Elsa.

"That's what…I'd like…to know…" Elsa gasped out, frowning as she looked around her icy room. There was a thick strip of ice running around her entire room, and then above and below it; the ice spread all over the walls, growing thinner as it got further from the strip. _That was so weird. I've never made that much ice in one go like that. And I've certainly never "exploded" like that before. It actually _hurt_. No more emotions, Elsa. See the trouble you cause when you get emotional? You make huge icy messes and you yell at your sister. _Elsa suddenly felt horrible for the things she'd spouted at Anna, even if they had been things she'd said in the heat of anger. _Or in my case, icy anger, _she thought. And it certainly didn't make Elsa feel any better when she realized that her little explosion episode meant her powers were stronger than she'd previously thought. They were _still_ getting stronger. _Great. Just great. If this happens again, next time it might not stay contained to my room. It might leak into the hall or something. Or blast through the walls._

Gerda knew that Elsa had definitely lost control somehow, but she wasn't sure exactly what had happened. She managed to convince Anna to leave, and just in time, as Agdar and Idun were coming down the hall.

"Merry Christmas, Elsa!" was the last thing Elsa heard from Anna as her footsteps faded away down the hall.

* * *

><p>Due to the ice explosion episode, Elsa didn't trust herself to go the library as planned to sing and play Christmas carols. She spent the rest of the day eating her cookies, reading a book, and gazing out the window. The one nice thing about the day was that it snowed again outside, which Elsa enjoyed watching. No one knocked on her door the rest of the day. When it grew late and Elsa was tired, she took off her Christmas dress and hung it in the very back of her closet. She would never wear it again unless she was going to be able to be around Anna safely, just being herself, ice powers and all. <em>Which will probably be never.<em> With that pessimistic thought, Elsa turned out the kerosene lamp, climbed into bed, and pulled the covers over her head. _Merry Christmas, Elsa. Yeah, right._

* * *

><p><em>Elsa stood on the summit of the North Mountain. There was no Anna with her this time. Elsa could see a blizzard happening far below in Arendelle, but she didn't know whether she was the cause of it or not. "Well, who cares, it's not my problem!" she shouted from her spot on the summit. "I like the cold; it's not <em>my_ fault if no one else does!"_ _Just for good measure, Elsa whipped up swirling snow on the summit as well. No one could stop her!_

_ "Elsa! What are you doing?!" Anna asked._

_ Elsa whipped around in surprise. "Why are you here?"_

_ Anna frowned. "I'm here because of you. But you've turned crazy! So this is why you were isolated in your room all the time. You're a freak of nature! You froze everything!"_

_ "I AM NOT CRAZY!" Elsa screamed. "I might be a freak, but I'm not the one calling my long-lost sister names! Get lost if you're going to be that way!" The swirling snow on the summit whipped up stronger._

_ "Wouldn't you call me names if our positions were reversed?" Anna asked._

_ "I don't know! I don't know anything!" Elsa cried. "Just leave me alone and go away!"_

_ Suddenly a mysterious flash appeared, and Elsa and Anna switched places._

_ "Thanks, Elsa," Anna grinned. "Now I can clean up the mess you made with all that ice and snow."_

_ "It isn't my mess now! It's YOURS. I don't have powers anymore. YOU do. So fix it. I bet it won't work." Elsa crossed her arms and watched Anna unsuccessfully try to thaw the huge amount of ice and snow down in Arendelle._

_ "I CAN'T!" Anna shouted._

_ "The original freak rests her case! I told you it wouldn't work!" Elsa replied. "It's hopeless! You're an abnormal freak! Dangerous! A monster!"_

_ Another bright flash appeared and suddenly both girls were back in their original places, and Anna was the one shouting the mean names at Elsa. Elsa collapsed into the snow and began crying, but a moment later she jumped to her feet. "You want a monster? I'll give you a monster!" A furious Elsa began blasting everything around her with ice. "Now get out of here before I hurt you too!"_

_ Anna shook her head. "This isn't you, Elsa! Stop! You can do it!"_

_ "IT IS ME! I've just had enough! I can't stop! Leave me alone!" Elsa shouted._

_ "Elsa, maybe we can-"_

_ Too late. One of the blasts of ice made a direct hit on Anna, and she turned into solid ice._

_ "NO! NO! I didn't mean it, Anna! I STILL LOVE YOU! Please come back!" Elsa screamed. It was no use. In one last fit of fury, Elsa unleashed everything her powers had within her on the already-frozen kingdom below. Everything was solid ice, everywhere._

Elsa's own agonized screams woke her up. "NO!" She looked around her snow-covered room in relief. _It was just a dream. A terrible, horrible dream._ Elsa wrapped her arms around herself, willing herself to calm down and stop shaking. _Elsa, calm down. That didn't really happen, thank goodness. That wasn't real. _Fifteen minutes passed before Elsa had calmed down enough to try to get back to sleep. _I can't stay in here anymore tonight._ Not knowing where else to turn, she got up, lit a candle, and grabbed a pillow before heading through the secret passages to the entrance to Anna's room. Elsa curled up against the secret entrance and managed to get back to sleep, feeling comforted by the fact that her sister was just on the other side of the entrance.

* * *

><p>When Elsa awoke in the morning to see nothing but pitch black around her, she panicked for a moment before remembering she'd gone to sleep in the secret passages next to Anna's room. She fumbled in the dark to find and relight her candle. <em>And that awful dream! What was that all about? It was so…creepy. Like Anna and I weren't even acting like ourselves. <em>Elsa was in no hurry to go back to her room; she wasn't looking forward to trying to clean up all the ice and snow that she knew was all over the place in there. She shuddered, thinking about what had made her make all that mess in the first place. _My dream-self got pushed over the edge. I can't let myself get anywhere near that point in real life. Dream-Elsa was even more of a destructive freak than I thought I thought of myself as in real life. She totally lost it and froze everything on purpose! Am I really that rotten? _"Do I even want to know the answer?" Elsa whispered aloud. _No, Elsa, you don't want to know. You should just accept reality, that you may not be quite like that now, but you could get like that in the future. _"I won't!" she hissed. "I will _never_ turn my sister to ice and freeze Arendelle! Never, never, _ever!_ I'll die myself before I kill Anna!" _Shut up, Elsa. You want Anna to hear you? Well, Anna's probably still asleep, stupid brain, _Elsa retorted to her nasty thoughts._ I must be crazy. I'm literally having a conversation with my own thoughts. That is so stupid._

* * *

><p>Elsa lost track of time as she just sat unmoving in the passages right outside Anna's room. Hours later, she heard Anna talking on the other side of the wall in her room.<p>

"Mom, for one thing, it's the day after Christmas, so I shouldn't have to do lessons anyway! But, and several more but's, that's NOT why I shan't do 'em right now. I won't do a lick of lessons until I get to talk to you and Dad about something really, really important," Elsa heard Anna say.

"What is it about?" Idun asked.

"It's about Elsa," Anna replied.

Inside the entrance to the secret passages, Elsa immediately stood up and hightailed it out of the area. _I don't know what Anna's going to tell Mom, but I don't want to know. _She headed back to her room and took a deep breath before stepping inside. Elsa smiled in relief when she realized most of the mess in her room was just snow, not ice. _At least snow doesn't look creepy or threatening._

**A/N: Elsa's Christmas dress is supposed to look like Anna's coronation dress in the movie, but with the rosemaling design off Elsa's coronation dress's skirt. Oh yeah, and Elsa's Christmas dress is cranberry red with green trim.;) (Hopefully that kinda made sense...I hope so.:P)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	13. Anna

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, I like Elsa's Christmas dress too.;) **

**Lindstrom-This time I did knowingly put some of the movie dialogue. It was a conscious decision this time.:P I'm glad it didn't come off as too 'forced'. It just seemed like a believable reason to me...I thought Elsa might be afraid Anna wouldn't like her anymore if she told Anna what happened and/or her secret. Glad that seemed believable too...:) What Anna says is in this chapter.;)**

**On to the story! Sorry for the shortness of this chapter; it just seemed sensible to do a chapter break.:P**

Back in Anna's room, Anna convinced her mother to get her father as well. "You guys both have to hear this."

When both her parents were in her room finally, Anna began pacing back and forth. _I gotta be logical and not explode or talk without thinking. Mom and Dad know I was outside with Elsa, so I shouldn't get Elsa into any more trouble than she is right now. So, yeah…_ "Mom, Dad…you know what Elsa told me when we were outside?"

"What did she tell you when you two were outside?" Agdar asked suspiciously.

"Good grief, Dad, you don't gotta act all suspicious!" Anna burst out. "What do you think Elsa told me, that she's a…a…" Anna tried to think of something insanely crazy. "Oh, I don't know, that she's a secret telekinetic or something? Or that she can turn herself into literal ice?" Little did Anna know she was dancing dangerously close to the truth with her second proposition. "The only 'different' thing about her is that she has natural immunity to cold. Which is not dangerous; it's just really, really cool. How come I'm not immune to cold too? Elsa's my sister, after all…Anyway, never mind. That's not the thing I wanted to say. Do you want to know what Elsa told me?"

"Do get to the point, Anna."

"Well, me and Elsa-I mean Elsa and I-were talking, and I asked her if I could help her fix whatever the problem is so she'd be happy again. I don't care what you guys or her say; she is _not_ ok. She's scared of people getting anywhere near her for goodness sakes! It's ridiculous. So Elsa says something that she has to deal with the problem on her own and that there's something wrong with her that can't be cured. She called herself _defective_! ELSA SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CALLING HERSELF THAT!" Anna began speaking louder and faster as she went on.

"Quit shouting, Anna."

Anna bit her lip. _Oops. Shouting's not gonna help my case for Elsa. _"Sorry. Ok, so then of course I was like 'Elsa you are not defective and even if you were I wouldn't care' and then she said 'thanks for trying to make me feel better'." Anna made sure to leave out the part about reading Elsa's feelings, since she was pretty sure Elsa didn't want anyone to know that. "And then I said 'Trying to? I failed then, didn't I' and then do you know what Elsa said? Do you know what she said?"

"Spit it out, Anna…what did Elsa say?"

Anna drew herself up to her full height and began speaking in her best rendition of Elsa's regal and assertive tone. "She said, 'You will NOT say you failed at anything, Princess Anna of Arendelle! This is my problem, not yours. It is _not_ your fault. You will _not_ blame yourself for the way I behave…" Anna paused, trying to remember Elsa's exact words. "Oh yeah, 'You will _not_ regret your actions regarding things beyond your control, EVER. You will _not _insult yourself for anything.' And then, do you know what she ended with? She said, 'You will _not_ change your identity to match people's expectations.' Changing identity to match people's expectations! I did not say ANYTHING that had anything remotely to do with that rotten concept, and I know she didn't get that idiotic idea from nowhere! So where do you suppose she got it, hmm?" Anna resisted the urge to start shouting since she knew that would definitely not help.

"Are you implying we put the idea to do that in Elsa's head?"

"Spot on! She has no contact with anyone else, Dad! I know Gerda sure didn't tell her anything like that. So YOU gave her that idea! WHY?! Why would you want Elsa to be anything except just plain _herself_?" Anna asked. "In fact, I think she isolates herself in her room because you make her do it! Elsa was still kinda nervous and scared and stuff outside, but I know she was happy to see me. She wasn't all like 'Get lost Anna 'cause you're a pain in the butt' or anything. It's _horrid_ what you guys are doing to her!" Anna was still hurt that Elsa had literally slammed the door in her face voluntarily on Christmas Day, but Anna decided right now, she was just going to focus on the part Elsa was _not_ doing of her own accord.

"Anna, that's enough. We are not doing anything to Elsa."

Anna crossed her arms. _Not doing anything to Elsa?! Are you kidding me? _"What do you call Elsa staying in that room all the time for the last eight years? That. Is. Horrid."

"It's for her own good and yours."

"I don't believe you! There is NO reason why Elsa should stay locked in that room 24/7. It's stupid, stupid, stupid! And forget the whole door thing and the fact I can't even talk to Elsa anymore…how about why is she so scared and upset all the time? Tell me that!" Anna was getting mad. Actually, scratch that, she was already mad. _Very _mad. "What did you guys do to the happy, carefree, fun-loving girl that used to play with me when we were little?"

"Elsa is growing up and knows her future responsibilities."

_That's fudging if I've ever heard it, _Anna thought. "Doesn't matter; I don't care! Elsa should NOT be terrified like that all the time. I'll bet after she came running in here to get help after I fell, she was shaking and having some sort of memory flashback thing, wasn't she?" Of course Anna had not actually seen Elsa go inside for help, but she was somehow _absolutely_ positive that was what happened afterwards.

Agdar and Idun exchanged a glance. They honestly weren't sure. Elsa was an expert on concealing her emotions, and it was nearly impossible to read her most of the time. Still…Anna had to have gotten that idea from somewhere. "Did Elsa do that while you two were outside talking?" Idun asked.

(The only reason Anna was able to read Elsa was mostly because Elsa did not mind letting Anna know her true feelings. Elsa only tried to conceal her emotions around Anna because she was trying to control her powers. Otherwise, Elsa didn't care one bit if Anna knew how she felt.)

"She like zoned out and was completely thinking about something going on in her head, yeah," Anna said. _Um, I wonder if Elsa wants anyone to know that. She probably doesn't. I'm gonna change the topic, I think._ "So, anyway, what's with this 'change your identity to match people's expectations' thing?"

"Sometimes you need to do that, at least partly, to get things done."

"And when people's expectations are wrong or bad?" Anna asked in an irritated tone. "Wait, what? It doesn't matter what people's expectations are anyway. It's stupid to change your identity to please others!"

"I assume you are insinuating that our expectations for Elsa are wrong or bad?"

"If those expectations include Elsa staying in her room 24/7 and being scared and upset all the time, then duh yes!"

"Anna…this discussion is over. Don't bring it up again."

"Bring what up again?" Anna asked far too innocently, knowing that was a rather smart-alecky reply but not particularly caring.

"All right, now you're just being smart. Don't bring up the identity thing or anything regarding Elsa again."

"SHE'S MY SISTER! Elsa's…hurting for some reason, and I still want to know why!" Anna replied, feeling exasperated. "Did you ever think that maybe I could help her? I remember back in the summer when Elsa got sick she had some icky dream and she was crying. Well, she let me hold her and give her a hug then, and she calmed down and fell back asleep. So _maybe,_ just_ mayyybe_, I could like, you know, hang around Elsa more?" Anna finished. "Oh yeah, I still want to know why Elsa let me hug her when she was sick and not now. That doesn't make any sense, either. You made her think she's dangerous, and whatever it is doesn't apply to when she's sick! But I KNOW she's not! I just know it!"

"Anna, this topic is over. Do your lessons and don't concern yourself with it anymore. And don't knock on your sister's door anymore, either." Anna's parents left her room.

"ELSA ISN'T AN 'IT'!" Anna yelled after them. _Ok, I don't think I helped anything at all. I didn't get any of my questions answered either. Mom and Dad are being so unfair! And if _I_ think they're being unfair to _me_, how must _Elsa_ feel stuck in that room all the time with nothing but her thoughts for company? Poor Elsa…if Mom and Dad are really treating her like she's dangerous and wanting her to change her identity somehow, no wonder she acts all scared and upset all the time. She's been brainwashed. I gotta be there for her even if no one else will. Ok, so I'm not supposed to knock on her door…phooey to that. I'll knock when no one's around and I'll leave notes under her door. Elsa needs a friend…even if she thinks she's better off alone._

* * *

><p>Elsa, who was still disturbed by that creepy dream the night before, was very happy when Anna pushed a note under her door later that day. <em>"Dear Elsa, I told Mom and Dad what you told me. You know, the changing your identity to match people's expectations thing? Elsa, don't do that to yourself, no matter what our parents think. It's wrong. Anyway, I KNOW I didn't help fix things for the two of us. Or get my questions answered. But I want you to know that I'll always be out here for you. I won't knock every day (I got forbidden to do so), but I'm here for you anyway. You need a friend, even if you think you're better off alone. I love you, Elsa. Your sister, Anna." <em>Elsa's tears dripped onto the paper, slightly smearing Anna's scrawly handwriting. Elsa immediately brushed the tears off her face. _I might need a friend, but I don't deserve one. Especially one as good as Anna. Anna, you're half-right. It IS wrong to change your identity to match others' expectations, but it's not wrong for me. I have to. My identity is that of an abnormal freak. A dangerous abnormal freak at that. That identity needs to go into oblivion. Why would I want to keep that? _

_ Elsa, you weren't always an abnormal freak. At one time, you were just a little girl playing with her powers in the ballroom with her sister. That whole freak business started after you hurt your sister. Maybe you can fix it. You weren't once, so maybe you can be just Elsa again instead of the girl with the uncontrollable ice powers._ "No. I can't. I'm stupid for even thinking that could happen for a second. I'm sixteen now, not eight. I wish I was still naïve enough to be that way, but I'm not, and I can't change that," Elsa said aloud. _I have to be perfect; good like I'm supposed to be, powers or no powers. At least Anna knows she should be herself. My self is rotten, and I wish I could just be me, powers and all; but I can't. I'm dangerous. My true self doesn't fit anywhere…certainly not as the future queen of Arendelle. I just have to deal with the fact. _She quickly put Anna's letter in a desk drawer out of sight. Elsa could almost hear her dream-self shouting those horrible names at dream-Anna when she hadn't been able to thaw the mess dream-Elsa herself had made originally. Then, to make it worse, she recalled Anna's voice calling Elsa those names. Then, her own self saying, _You want a monster? I'll give you a monster! _"Stop it, Elsa! Reality check!" Elsa's own voice sounded far away and almost detached to her. She took several slow, deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. _Ok, Elsa. Calm down. Those things. DID NOT. Happen. It. Was. A. Dream._ Elsa realized she was standing in the middle of a circle of icicles jutting out of the snowy floor. _Great, I was just reenacting on a much smaller scale what I did in that dream._ Elsa gave the icicles a vicious kick and determined she would _never_ be that girl from her dream. "That's not me. I won't let it be." _I will not turn Anna to solid ice. I will not freeze Arendelle. Never._

Elsa closed her eyes and willed herself to just be _cold_. Emotionally as cold as the powers over ice and snow she was born with. _Forget emotions on lockdown. I will not let myself have any emotions to lock down in the first place. So there. That should fix my control issues about my powers. Conceal. Don't feel._

She did have one consolation. _At least Anna can be herself. And she knows she should._

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:) (The next one WILL be longer.)**


	14. Storm

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Lindstrom-Yeah, too bad no one listens to her.:/ I like to think Anna might be impulsive and silly sometimes, but she does have good sense about her, if you know what I mean.:) Elsa...uh, she seriously should listen to Anna.:( Anyway...:P**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Lol, you actually told me you couldn't wait till their parents die, sis.;) Which is understandable...:P **

**On to the story!:)**

A few months later, Elsa gazed out her still-missing window. That was one thing she had managed to keep from happening. She liked having the outside air and weather come in. All winter, she enjoyed seeing and touching the natural snow. Now it was almost spring, and most of the snow outdoors had melted. Elsa was very disappointed. _No, I'm not disappointed. I feel nothing._ Nevertheless, no matter what Elsa tried to make herself think the last couple days, the fact that winter was almost over _was_ disappointing to her.

But today, Elsa felt like something was going to happen soon. _Something with the weather. And not spring._ Elsa was first afraid that she had done something to the weather, but she was certain she hadn't. Besides, even if she had, wouldn't whatever it was have happened already? Elsa's powers responded immediately to her emotions, and she could always 'tell' when she had done something or not. But now…Elsa thought she was crazy for thinking it, but she was pretty sure she was somehow _feeling_ something in the air. Something that told her a heavy blizzard was coming. Elsa felt antsy, jumpy, and restless. She could feel something swirling inside her, an internal storm, so to speak. The 'internal storm' was actually always there; but now it felt, well, agitated, not suppressed into nothing as it usually did. And the agitated feeling was not because her emotions were agitated. Elsa just somehow _knew_ it had something to do with the weather, even though this had never happened to her before. _Are my powers making me forecast the weather somehow? Like how animals can know when it's about to rain, kind of?_ She shook her head. _Come on, Elsa, that's silly. But what if it isn't? What if I'm right? I should tell someone._

Elsa quickly decided against telling anyone when she realized that the whole idea that she could 'feel' the upcoming weather was ludicrous. And it was more than a little likely that she would end up being blamed for the out of season snowstorm if she predicted its occurrence. Elsa had no idea if she was capable of producing a wide-range snowstorm, but she certainly didn't want to find out. _Still…maybe I could drop a hint to Anna or something. She wouldn't rat on me if I specifically asked her not to. But I'm forbidden to have any contact with her…and it's better for Anna if I don't. Yet I haven't replied to her for a long time now and she does still give me notes and stuff…I think it'd be okay._ Elsa solidified her idea. She would drop a hint to Anna in a note under the door next time Anna left her one. Actually, no; she would say something aloud so she wouldn't be sticking Anna with having to worry about disposing of the evidence that Elsa had said anything to her.

* * *

><p>When Elsa heard Anna's footsteps coming down the hall (she could easily tell the sounds of her sister's gait from anyone else's), she went over to her door and gave the loudest whisper she dared. "<em>Anna!<em> _Anna, I have to tell you something!_"

For a moment Anna was completely bewildered as to where that voice was coming from, but she quickly realized it was Elsa. _She hasn't replied to me for months. Why now all of a sudden? Not that I'm complaining…_ "Elsa?" Anna quickly pushed her note for Elsa under the door.

"Thank you, Anna." Elsa picked up the note and then began speaking quickly as she said, "Anna, I think there's a blizzard coming. You have to warn Mom and Dad so they'll have supplies and whatnot ready." _Come on, Anna, please believe me…_

"Elsa, practically _all_ the snow outside is melted. Why would you think there's going to be a blizzard now all of a sudden?" Anna sounded puzzled.

"I don't know; I can just feel it somehow. Please believe me! Just…don't tell our parents I'm the one that tipped you off, okay?" Elsa asked.

"I won't rat on you," Anna promised.

"Thank you, Anna_._ Please warn them…please…" Her work done by telling Anna, Elsa turned away from the closed door and returned to the window seat. Talking to Anna made Elsa _feel_, and she was not going to do that any more. _Emotions cause trouble. They make bad things happen. And in my case, that means freezing things and potentially becoming that destructive girl from that dream. So no emotions, Elsa._ Elsa could hear Anna still talking on the other side of the door, but she forced herself to zone out and ignore her sister. _Goodbye, Anna._

* * *

><p>"Elsa? Elsa, c'mon, please answer again! I still don't get why you'd think there's a blizzard coming all of a sudden…Elsa?" <em>Elsa's not gonna reply anymore…she gave me the warning and now she's totally done talking…ok, then. <em>Anna was confused by Elsa's warning. How on earth could her sister innately know a blizzard was coming? Elsa _had_ to be just being paranoid…right? _But Elsa didn't particularly sound freaked out. She just sounded concerned that we wouldn't be ready for an unexpected snowstorm. I don't know if Elsa is right or not, but Elsa definitely believes there is a blizzard coming. I'm gonna warn Mom and Dad, but I don't think they're going to believe me._ To ward off any suspicion that Elsa had given Anna the tip-off, Anna waited until dinner to say anything. "Mom, Dad, I've got something important to say."

"And what might that be?"

"That there's a blizzard coming," Anna replied.

"That there's a _what_ coming?!" Agdar asked.

"A blizzard," Anna repeated.

"Anna, why would you think there is a blizzard coming now?" Idun asked.

Anna remembered what Elsa had told her, so she answered, "I don't know; I can just feel it, I guess." _I'm not ratting on Elsa. Just…no._

"Wait, did Elsa give you that idea?"

Anna made a face. "Why would you think _Elsa_ gave me that idea? I haven't seen her for months!" _Well, I haven't _seen_ her…so not a lie._

"I know, honey, but it's for your own good and hers."

Forget the blizzard topic; now Anna was mad. "DON'T CALL ME HONEY IF YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT! That is _not_ good for me and it certainly isn't good for Elsa! You're going to make her go crazy staying in one room all the time! She's gonna get psych-psychlo-psychlogicly disturbed or something!" _Uh, I still didn't say that word right. Psycho-psycholog-psychologically. Yeah, that's it!_ "Psychologically, I mean."

"Table manners, Anna."

"Don't care," Anna huffed, purposely putting her elbow on the table and then loudly slurping her milk. "Was that better?"

"No, it was not. Anna, you know better than that. If you can't behave properly at the dinner table, then go upstairs to your room."

"Shan't." Anna was hit with an _ingenious_ idea. She'd use bad table manners on purpose until her parents let Elsa out of her room! It was foolproof, right? _Mom and Dad can't stand bad table manners. It'll have to work sooner or later!_ "I'm going to keep using yucky table manners till you let Elsa leave her room."

"Anna, don't be ridiculous."

"I'msh not beingsh ridiculoush," Anna answered with her mouth full. She swallowed before adding, "I promise I'll stop the second Elsa gets to leave her room."

Agdar and Idun traded glances. "Anna, Elsa cannot leave her room. Stop eating like that."

Anna shook her head. _Uh-uh! You let Elsa out. Then I stop. So there._

"Anna, go upstairs to your room."

"Ok. I'm finished eating anyway. What about the blizzard?"

"Anna, there is no blizzard coming. Don't worry yourself with that. It was probably your imagination."

Anna rolled her eyes, earning herself another glare, before heading out of the dining hall and running upstairs. She wrote a quick note to Elsa and stuffed it under her door.

* * *

><p>Elsa picked up Anna's note. <em>"They didn't believe me. I'm sorry, Elsa; I tried. The good news is that I didn't tell on you, just like I promised. Love, Anna."<em> Elsa frowned before stuffing the note into the drawer where she kept the rest of the things Anna had stuffed under her door. _Well, I guess that's that. Anna and I tried. If something happens, it will _not_ be my fault. Not this time. There isn't anything else I can do._

* * *

><p>A few days later, the blizzard Elsa had predicted hit in all its wintery fury right after Elsa woke up. Oddly enough, Elsa actually felt <em>calmer<em> now. The internal storm within her had settled mostly. _Why do I feel calmer now and there's a storm raging outside? I'm backwards. Twisted. It should be the opposite._ "But it's not. I gave the warning and no one listened. Not my fault. Not this time." Elsa stood tall in front of her window, watching the snow whistle past outside. The direction the wind was blowing made it so that Elsa's window was parallel with the wind. She put her hands on her hips and smiled. _That's not my storm. It doesn't bother me. I'm not upset. I'm not scared. I'm just here. _Elsa still wondered what exactly had let her know the storm was coming. _It's so weird…I know it has to have something to do with my powers, but _what_? I have no idea…_

Elsa's musings were interrupted by a loud rhythmic banging on her door. _Anna? That's her signature knock, but she never bangs on my door like that…oh, she must have done that because of the howling wind outside. But Anna wrote months ago that she was forbidden to do that…_ Elsa hoped very much that no one was nearby. Both she and Anna would be sure to get in trouble otherwise.

"Elsa, you were right about the blizzard!" Anna said loudly. "That is so cool! Pun intended!"

Elsa grinned on the other side of the door, but she was still nervous Anna was going to get them both in trouble. She ran to her desk and grabbed several pieces of paper and a pen. _"It's more than cool-it's icy! I guess I WAS right about the blizzard, wasn't I? I'm sorry I yelled at you back at Christmas about the whole ICEolation thing. (Genuine apology. Pun intended.:)) Anna, let's trade notes back and forth for a few minutes. Just be ready to leave in a hurry in case someone comes by. Your sister, Elsa."_ Elsa shoved the note under the door before really thinking about whether this was a good idea or not.

Anna was surprised to see a paper appear on her side out in the hall. She giggled and said, "Be right back." Anna ran to her room and came back with a pen.

Elsa waited impatiently inside her room, tapping her foot. _Elsa, this was a Very. Bad. Idea. Now you and Anna are going to get in humongous trouble. _"Not if we don't get caught, though," she said aloud. A minute later, the note she'd pushed under the door to Anna appeared back under the door with a reply from Anna added to it. _"It's ok, Elsa. I know you don't stay in there entirely of your own choice. You have a good sense of humor! The ice-olation joke was funny, but it's also way too literal. You shouldn't have to stay in there all the time. I'm doing something to try to convince Mom and Dad to let you come out. I've got my hightail-it-away feet on. We won't get caught. Love, Anna."_ Elsa smiled in a half-sad, half-happy way and wrote her reply.

Anna made a face as she read Elsa's reply. _"No, Anna, it's not okay. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I shouldn't shut you out. But __I feel like__ I can't do anything else. I'm trying to keep you safe, but I keep messing up. __Anna, I feel like I'm a failure.__ I don't deserve a friend like you. Why do you still write notes to me? To someone who ignores you? I don't know what you're doing to try to convince Mom & Dad about that, but don't do it. They won't change their minds, and it really isn't safe for you to be around me."_ Elsa had tried to cross out certain parts, but Anna could still read what it said. _She's given up on trying to change things. She really believes this whole stupid arrangement is for our own good…_ Anna quickly scribbled out her reply.

_"Elsa, you're right; you shouldn't shut me out, but it's not really your fault. I think Mom & Dad brainwashed you into thinking this arrangement is for our own good. It's NOT, Elsa. You're going to get psychlogicly (I KNOW that's spelled wrong) disturbed or something from staying cooped up all the time. It's not good for you. Like when we were outside Christmas Eve and you, like, flashbacked to something unpleasant…that shouldn't happen. And I miss you! You DO deserve a friend, Elsa. I still write notes to you because YOU'RE MY SISTER! You can stay locked in there forever and I will still do that. Love ('CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT), Anna."_ Elsa began crying as she read Anna's reply. She scribbled a reply that only said 'Thank you for everything Anna', and pushed it back under the door. _I'm probably already cuckoo. Anna's right. She knows more about me than I gave her credit for. Why is it that my little sister can tell I have problems dealing with…life, and Mom and Dad don't? Anna doesn't even know my real…issue. _"It's because I don't mind if Anna knows how I really feel," she said out loud. "Because I can't trust anyone else."

Anna heard Elsa's words. "Elsa, do you _always_ completely conceal your feelings around Mom and Dad?"

Elsa gave a start before realizing Anna must have overheard what she'd said. _What have I got to lose? _"I have to, Anna, for multiple reasons. It sounds awful, but I don't trust them," Elsa answered tearfully, although her voice also had a steely undertone to it. She struggled to verbally express the rest of her thoughts on the matter. _I'm awful at explaining myself out loud… _"I've had plenty of time to…consider things in here. I don't know if Mom and Dad have our best interests at heart or not. I can't think of a better arrangement, because it IS true that I'm…defective, and can't be around people. But I keep thinking there _has_ to be a better w-" Elsa figuratively froze when she heard another voice in the hallway. _Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. And Anna's got our conversation. I'd be mortified if Dad reads that. I gotta get it back. Destroy it before he reads it. But the door's locked… That noisy storm outside is what kept me from hearing someone coming soon enough…_

"What are you doing sitting in front of your sister's room?" Agdar asked.

Anna thought quickly. "Um, I was just…looking at the snowflake and flower pattern on Elsa's door. It's really…interesting! Yeah!" _Crummiest excuse ever! That's the best I could come up with?!_

* * *

><p>Inside her room, Elsa decided she was just going to break the lock open again. She'd rather get in trouble for that rather than have her father read the things on that paper. Elsa took a deep breath before slipping her glove off and freezing the lock open. <em>Elicit calm, Elsa. I am not scared. I am not upset. I am just here. <em>She put her glove back on, flung the door open, and saw two shocked faces in the hall. Anna because 'Oh, wow, Elsa opened the door!'; and her father because that door had been locked on the outside. Elsa made her mind dismiss her father's disapproving look; and she looked at Anna meaningfully, hoping Anna got the message. _Our conversation, Anna. Give me the paper, please._

Anna got the message, but a second too late. Anna tried to stealthily hand the paper to Elsa, but Anna's 'stealthy' wasn't very stealthy.

"Elsa, Anna…what is on that paper?" Agdar asked sternly.

There was no point in trying to get out of it now. They were caught red-handed. "A conversation," Elsa answered reluctantly.

"A _private_ conversation," Anna added. "So we want it back!"

Elsa clasped her hands behind her back. In her most polite voice, she said, "I would very much like to have that paper back, please."_ I knew I shouldn't have tried to 'talk' to Anna. Now we're both going to be in huge trouble._

"What were you two discussing that you don't want anyone to read?"

"Da-ad! It's just a private, sisterly, girl conversation! You wouldn't be interested," Anna said. "You know, like just…stuff." Anna took one glance at her sister and knew she'd have to be the one to get the paper back. _Elsa's scared and upset again. And she'll be embarrassed if Dad reads what she wrote on that paper._

"I would really like that paper back…unread," Elsa said quietly. "Or just give it to Anna." _Dad, please don't read it. It's stuff I don't want anyone but Anna to know._

Agdar looked from one girl to the other. He looked at the paper and managed to read the first few lines before Anna had lunged for the paper and crunched it into a ball in her fist.

Elsa sent Anna a thank-you glance before realizing that although their dad hadn't read _all_ of it; he'd definitely seen the first part. Which was about Elsa predicting the blizzard. Great. Just great. Not. _Well, as long as Anna hangs around, Dad won't start blaming me for it anyways, I guess._

"Anna, you said your sister didn't give you the idea that a blizzard was coming. Evidently she did. You lied."

"I said I hadn't seen Elsa in months," Anna replied instantly.

"You were being purposely misleading, Anna! And you, Elsa…why did you tell Anna that? You know you're not supposed to have any contact with her."

Elsa closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and saying, "I did what I had to do. Although evidently it did not matter, since you didn't believe Anna when she warned you." _I'm in so much trouble. I'm going to get blamed for this…I just know it._

"Anna, go to your room and stay there until further notice."

"Don't treat Anna the same way you treat me!" Elsa burst out. _Anna doesn't need to stay in her room too. _"She isn't…defective like I am. Let her be. I…initiated the conversation today. It's my fault, not hers."

"Elsa, no! I don't think either of us did anything wrong, but if we're going to put a 'fault' on it, it's both of us. Not just you. I wrote back to you, too," Anna said. "And stop calling yourself defective!" She reached to give Elsa a hug, but Elsa stepped backwards out of reach.

Elsa wished with all her heart that Anna would just _shut up_. Didn't she realize Elsa was trying to keep Anna from getting punished for nothing? But no; headstrong Anna wouldn't listen. _I'm trying to catch you some slack, Anna. I know I'm already going to be in huge trouble anyhow, so I may as well get you off the hook in the process. That way at least I'll know YOU'RE not in trouble…_

"Anna, go to your room. I need to talk to your sister alone for a few minutes. I'll come speak with you later."

Anna bit her lip. What should she do? She didn't want to leave Elsa, but she'd probably get both of them in even more trouble if she stayed. "Hang in there, Elsa…I love you," Anna said, and sent Elsa a virtual hug before heading down the hall to her room.

* * *

><p>Elsa let herself give Anna a small smile back before purposely returning to an unreadable expression. <em>Dad's going to end up blaming me for the weather somehow…I just know it.<em> She headed to the opposite side of the room and purposely stood near the still-missing window. Elsa did not want to talk to her father, or even be around him. She knew the air was probably freezing by the window and no one would want to be next to it, so she stayed near it as a deterrent.

"Elsa, you predicted this blizzard days ago. How did you do that?"

_Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. I can't lose control now, or Dad will really think I did this to the weather…_ "I don't know, honestly. I just _felt_ it," Elsa replied.

"You mean you _felt_ it because you made the storm on purpose. Elsa, this is way out of season. You predicted the storm's occurrence days in advance. Doesn't that seem suspicious to you?"

_I knew it._ "That storm is not mine. It's natural. I don't know how I knew it was coming. I just did. I have no idea if I could cause a widespread storm anyway," Elsa said.

"So you admit that it's possible that you could make a widespread snowstorm?"

"_I don't know!_ But THIS storm is not mine. I think I'd know if I made that much…destruction or not. Think about this…why would I have warned Anna about the storm if I was going to do that on purpose?" Elsa asked.

"Well, I didn't expect you to admit it."

Elsa bit her tongue, wondering what to say. _Dad doesn't believe me. He's convinced I did it. Nothing I say is going to change his mind._

"Does your silence mean you admit to being guilty?"

"It does not. It means that I know nothing I say is going to convince you of the truth-that I didn't do it," Elsa said flatly.

"You broke the lock again."

"I did. Due to an invasion of privacy." Elsa forced her voice to remain detached and neutral. _I will not lose control. I won't._

"You admit you initiated a conversation with Anna?"

"I do. I do not, however, admit my actions were wrong," Elsa replied. _I feel like I'm in a courtroom, about to be sentenced 'guilty'. Whatever, I don't care…_

"What did you write on that paper that you didn't want anyone to read?"

"I do not wish to answer that question." _I am not telling Dad about the…private things I told Anna. I wrote Anna my genuine feelings. I don't want anyone else knowing what those feelings are._

"Did you tell Anna about your powers?"

"No, I did not."

"What was it about then?"

"No comment." Elsa's feeling that she was being interrogated in a courtroom made her want to play up that aspect of the situation. _I won't give Dad the satisfaction of getting me to answer anything in detail._

"Elsa, you need to answer."

"I did. No comment," she repeated.

"I guess I'll have to ask Anna then."

"I won't object." _Anna won't rat on me,_ Elsa thought. _She's probably burned that sheet of paper already, too._

"Elsa, what do you suggest I do about this breach of protocol?"

Elsa thought for a moment before replying, "I advocate that you do naught apropos this contravention of punctilio." _There. I think Dad was being a little snarky at me with that question. That should let him know I recognized it and didn't like it. Although that was probably a bit overboard on my part with the weird vocabulary…_

"Your response indicates you think fast on your feet."

"Much obliged." _Come on, Elsa, just a little longer. You just have to convince Dad to leave and everything will be fine._

"Are we finished with this little lexicon divertissement, Elsa?"

"Indications appear negative as I did not effectuate it initially." Elsa actually did not mind the vocabulary exchange; the longer it went on, she wouldn't have to answer questions she wanted no part of. _My vocabulary is one of the few things I know are good about me. I won't "lose" easily._

"You imply I commenced it?"

"The defense rests," Elsa answered, as if she were on the witness stand in court.

There was a long silence. Finally Elsa broke it by saying, "The discourse seems to have concluded. May I please have my room to myself again?" _Dad, please leave. I'm tired of this feeling that I'm about to say something wrong. I probably have…_

"Elsa, come with me downstairs."

Elsa immediately felt suspicious. "Why? You've never let me do that before."

"You're going to go outside and stop the storm."

Elsa was horrified but tried to keep from letting her face show it. _The storm isn't mine! I can't do that! _"I…can't do that. Even if it were my storm-which it isn't-I wouldn't know how."

"You haven't even tried, Elsa."

Elsa reluctantly followed her father out of her room, holding her head high and refusing to cry. _This is useless. IT'S NOT MY STORM! If I try to do something to it, I'm just going to make it worse…_

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the main castle entrance, Elsa asked, "What am I supposed to do?! You know I can't unfreeze things. Especially things I didn't cause in the first place!"<p>

"The reverse of whatever you did to make it."

"_But I didn't make it!_" Elsa cried. "I swear, it's NOT my storm!"

"Then how did you predict it?"

"I don't know." _What am I going to do?_

"Please get rid of the storm, Elsa. Any time would be nice."

Elsa gave up and reached for the door. _I don't know what I'm going to do once I open that door…_ Elsa's hand shook as she grabbed the door handle and yanked the door open. She frowned into the swirling white outside. It was impossible to see more than about a foot in front of her. "I can't do anything to dispel this! I _didn't make it_!" Ice began spreading under Elsa's feet. _Elsa, stop it. Conceal, don't feel. This isn't your fault._

"Would a trip downstairs convince you to fix it?"

Elsa frowned. "We are downst-" Then it hit her. _Dad's talking about the dungeon. _She felt like crying, but then she was angry a moment later. This storm was _not_ her fault. She had not made it, and even if she had, she knew she wouldn't be able to get rid of it anyway. "You're talking about the _dungeon_. You want to put your own kid down there for something that isn't even her fault." Elsa's voice had a slight bitter edge to it. "That. Storm. Is. Not. Mine."

"Is that your last word?"

"I am not going down there," Elsa answered firmly.

"You are till the storm is gone."

"I beg to differ." Elsa turned and ran back towards the staircase as fast as her legs would carry her. _You'll have to catch me first. I will not put up with that. Not for something I didn't even do._ She took the stairs two at a time, raced down the hall, and darted into her room. Not a moment too soon, she tore her gloves off and froze the door shut just as she heard a bang on the door. _Made it. I'm NEVER letting that door unfreeze again._

"Elsa, you froze the door shut."

Elsa didn't answer. She was horrified that her father would actually consider putting her down there. But mostly she was downright furious. _It wasn't even for something that was my fault! It's not fair! And I got in all this trouble because I tried to do the right thing and give a warning about the snowstorm. Not only did no one believe me, I got blamed for making the storm myself! Well, I'm not going to try to warn anyone about a storm ever again. They can just find out when it arrives for all I care._ Elsa began pacing back and forth, leaving icy footprints wherever she stepped. She was just so, so, _mad._ It wasn't fair! _Well, at least Anna got away with that paper with our conversation on it. I hope she destroyed it._

* * *

><p>Elsa was very glad she had a stash of food and chocolate in her room. She wouldn't have to try sneaking into the kitchen for a few days. Hopefully the blizzard would have ended by then and she wouldn't have to worry about getting found in the kitchen. She worried for a minute that her parents might use the secret passages to get into her room, but then remembered that she knew the passages much better than they did. <em>I go in them all the time, so I can easily find my way around. If something like that did happen, I'll double back on paths and take a complicated route back in here. I'll be fine.<em> Elsa took a piece of chocolate and concentrated on the pleasant taste instead of the storm problem.

* * *

><p>Down the hall in Anna's room, Anna was still wondering what she should do with the paper with Elsa's and her conversation on it. She knew she should just get rid of it, but she really, really didn't want to throw away one of the few things she had from Elsa. Anna locked her door so no one would catch her trying to find a good hiding place. <em>Let's see…not under my bed…not in the closet…ooh, how about in that little compartment in the dresser? That's perfect!<em> Anna had discovered the secret drawer in her dresser when she was ten. Right now it contained nothing. In warmer months, there was often a temporary pet lizard or frog in it. But Anna would find some other place for her pets when she caught them. She wanted to keep that paper safe!

Anna smoothed out the paper and reread their conversation. _Elsa thinks she's a failure…what did she mean by 'I'm trying to keep you safe, but I keep messing up'? Messing up what? I don't get it… And she thinks she _doesn't deserve_ a friend? WHY? What is going on? I have to keep getting notes to her somehow. But we can't have a conversation again. Dad seemed to get more mad at her than me for that, even though we were equally to blame. Of course it didn't help that Elsa went and tried to take all the blame on purpose. Why would she do that?!_ "Wait…she did that because she thought she was going to get in big trouble anyway. So she just wanted to make sure that I didn't get punished for nothing too," Anna realized. Anna carefully slid out her bottom drawer all the way. Then she pulled the secret narrow drawer out from behind it and put the paper in it. In went the bottom drawer and the paper was hidden from sight. _There. Nobody'll find it in there._

Anna jumped when she heard a knock on her door. "Go away, whoever's out there. I'm busy!"

"Anna, open the door."

_Rats, it's Dad. _Anna gave a somewhat mouthy reply. "You _said_ I was supposed to go to my room till further notice."

"This is the further notice."

"Well, you already make one of your kids stay in her room all the time. So maybe I'll just stay in here too, since it's _so_ good for Elsa. I'm 'growing up and know my responsibilities'. Not," Anna replied. _Ok, that was probably a little too rude. I should stop…_

"Anna, if you don't open the door, then you won't get any chocolate for a month."

"I could always sneak down to the kitchen and get some." Anna really did not want to risk losing chocolate for a whole month, but she'd rather give up chocolate than give up Elsa's and her conversation paper. _Yeah, I did hide it, but I don't want to risk anyone finding it._

"What did you do with that paper you and your sister had?"

"She has a name, and it's _Elsa_! Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle!" Anna almost shouted. "And Dad, why are you so concerned about that paper? Anyway, I haven't got it." _Well, I don't "have" it…I'm not holding it…_

"You…don't have it. Ok, where is it and what did you do with it?"

Anna bit her lip. _That's it. I'm fibbing. _She crossed her fingers behind her back before saying, "I tore it up in little pieces and threw it in the fire so no one could read it."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, it's _destroyed_ into _ashes_ and you can't read it! So there!" Anna added for emphasis, feeling slightly bad for lying but not enough to not do it.

"Anna…you didn't destroy that paper. Open the door please."

Anna glanced toward her messy dresser and made sure everything was in place. Luckily there was already a fire going in her fireplace. Then she opened the door. "See? No paper!"

"Anna. Where is the paper?"

"I told you; I don't have it anymore!" Anna flopped on her bed and watched her father look around the room. _I think the paper is safe._

"No chocolate till you tell the truth about that paper."

"Fine." Anna did have a secret hoard of chocolate in her room. That would last her awhile.

**A/N: To make things clear, Elsa does NOT know about the 'special cell' exactly. (I'm so not having her find out about that.) I'll explain exactly what Elsa knows in the next chapter.:)**

**Yes, Elsa can predict storms. Picture how we can 'smell' rain except much stronger and more definite.**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	15. Elsa at Age Three

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**AnacToria Sky-Yay, new reviewer (I'm 99% sure;))! Thanks for the review!:) Elsa can't do that (yet) because I'm keeping this in canon.:)**

**Lindstrom-I'm thinking maybe he can't accept that someone else is right about something...And besides that, Agdar is really stupid and misinformed.:P**

**FanGirlJen-Agreed...:/**

**WarriorQueen 14-Elsa does need a hug, doesn't she...?:/ And yeah, Agdar totally deserves a slap:P**

**{Randomness: I think Elsa paid us a visit...IT SNOWED HERE LAST NIGHT! AND IT DIDN'T ALL TURN INTO ICE OVERNIGHT! YAY!:) And there's actually enough to play in...hey sis, do you wanna build a snowman?:P}**

**On to the story!:)**

The next day, Anna stuck a note under Elsa's door. Elsa ran to pick it up. "_Dear Elsa, I'm super sorry about what happened yesterday. I hid that paper with our conversation in it and I kinda may have told Dad I burned it. And he didn't believe me and said I couldn't have any chocolate till I told the truth. Grrr… I have a hoard of chocolate in my room though so it didn't really matter. Heehee. Love ('CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT), Anna."_ Elsa heard Anna making noises right outside her door, so she answered, "Tell me when you run out of chocolate. I'll get you more. I better not talk anymore right now. Bye, Anna."

"Elsa, you answered!"

_Yeah, I did. Because I'm stupid. Why did I say anything? Every time Anna and I try to have any sort of contact with each other, we get in trouble. And should I have _any _contact with her? Maybe it's for the best if I don't. I always end up getting upset and losing control or something…I don't know. Anyway, I can get Anna some chocolate easily enough. I'll just do that and nothing else._ Elsa's thoughts rambled.

Anna was going to say more, but she thought she heard footsteps down the hall, so she ran off. _I'm not getting us in trouble again if I can help it._

Elsa couldn't decide whether she was relieved or disappointed when she thought she heard Anna's footsteps run off. The howling wind outside muffled and distorted sounds outside Elsa's room that she could usually easily decipher otherwise. _Dumb storm. I wish it'd hurry up and end. I'm so tired of that noise. _Thinking about the storm reminded Elsa of her father thinking she had caused it on purpose, and trying to get her to dispel the storm. Elsa frowned. _Why was Dad so adamant that I had caused it? I _know_ I didn't. And the dungeon? Really? That's creepy, mean, and it's not fair._ Elsa had only been down to the dungeon once in her life; and although her three-year-old self hadn't been particularly creeped out by it all that much, she had been forbidden to go down there again. When Elsa had wanted to explore down there with Anna when she was six and Anna was three, they had gotten caught halfway down the stairs to the dungeon, and the little bit that Anna had seen had scared her. Since Elsa didn't want to scare Anna (who was usually rather fearless otherwise), they hadn't tried to sneak down there again.

* * *

><p>THIRTEEN YEARS AGO…<p>

Three-year-old Elsa knelt next to her baby sister's cradle. "Mommy! Anna's sooo cute! Can I hold her?"

"I don't think you're quite old enough to hold a baby, honey," Idun said.

Little Elsa stood up and put both hands on her hips, accidentally bumping the cradle in the process. "I'm a big girl!" She held up three fingers. "I'm three, 'member?"

Anna started crying in her cradle.

"Why's Anna crying?" Elsa asked.

"Probably because you bumped the cradle. Elsa, why don't you come back later?"

"Didn't mean to make Anna cry." Elsa's face puckered up as she herself started crying. "Mommy don' like me anymore?"

"Of course mommy still likes you. Mommy just has to take care of the baby right now," Idun said, gently rocking the cradle back and forth.

"Can I help? Maybe Anna like snowflakes," Elsa said, plopping down next to the cradle again. She held out her hand and made a snowflake; then flipped her hand over so her palm and the floating snowflake faced baby Anna. "Look, Mommy! Snowflake de-fy-ing gra-vi-ty," the little girl sounded out, pleased with her new trick. "Anna likes it too!" Elsa added happily, noticing that her baby sister had stopped crying and was staring at Elsa's snowflake instead.

"Let's not show that to Anna just yet, Elsa. Wait till she's older," Idun said, pushing Elsa's hand away from the cradle.

"Why?" Elsa asked. "Anna likes it! Ooh, d'you think Anna has magics like me?!" Elsa thought that would be _so_ cool! She and Anna could make awesome things together. Or play catch with floating snowflakes! Elsa hopped up from her spot next to the cradle, careful not to bump it again. "Me an' Anna could de-fy gra-vi-ty together!" She formed a snowflake in her other hand and flipped both palms toward the floor. "Mommy…? Watch this!" Elsa bit her lip in concentration as she tossed both snowflakes at the floor and caught them again, as if she were doing a yo-yo trick.

"Elsa…where did you hear the words 'defying gravity'?"

"Daddy tol' me. Gra-vi-ty keeps us stuck on the ground. De-fy is what I do when I'm bad an' don' listen." Elsa continued bouncing her snowflakes up and down. "Mommy…? Does Anna have magics like me?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Maybe they didn't show yet." Little Elsa dropped her snowflakes, ran over to her baby sister, and grabbed her hands. "Snow, Anna! Snow! Mommy, Anna's darker'n me. See?" Elsa compared her pale hand with Anna's slightly darker one. "And it didn't work," she pouted, referring to Anna's inability to make snow like Elsa did.

"Elsa, please stop. Run off and play with your dolls or something."

"Tired of that. Play with Anna?" Elsa asked hopefully. "I won' ask 'nymore ques-tions!"

"Honey, Anna is too little to play with you."

"Can I hold her? Pleeeaase?" Elsa begged. "I'm three. I'm big enough."

"Maybe when Anna is a little older. Be a good girl and run off and play."

"Okay, bye…" Elsa trudged slowly out of the room. _I know I could hold Anna if Mommy would let me!_ She'd be super careful. Maybe her mother just didn't want her showing her special ability to Anna because she didn't want Anna to catch cold. "Cold" never affected Elsa, though, so she had no idea what it felt like. Anyway, Elsa wasn't going to worry about that now. She was going to go exploring instead. When Elsa arrived at the top of the staircase, she decided it was going to take _much_ too long to get down to the bottom with her short three-year-old legs. So she made a sheet of ice just large enough to sit on before pushing off and thumping and bumping down the staircase.

Maybe this was not one of Elsa's better ideas. Halfway down the stairs, the edge of the ice sheet caught on a stair and dumped the little girl off. Elsa went rolling down the rest of the stairs, unable to stop. "HELP!" she shrieked, reaching for a railing every few seconds but failing. She finally came to a stop at the foot of the stairs, finding herself sprawled in a pile of snow. _I don't 'member making that,_ she thought. _Maybe my magics knew I needed help and it did it by itself!_ Elsa hopped to her feet and stuck her throbbing finger in her mouth; then jerked it out a moment later when something sharp poked her tongue. "I got an owie," Elsa said to no one in particular when she saw the splinter in her finger. "Won't come out!" she said in frustration when she couldn't get hold of the splinter to pull it out.

Elsa heard angry-sounding voices from somewhere downstairs. The 'owie' temporarily forgotten, she headed towards the voices, wanting to know what was going on. _Daddy's talking to somebody from 'nother kingdom in the Great Hall._ Elsa knew she wasn't supposed to bother her father when he was having a meeting, but she really, really wanted to know what was going on. She pushed the door to the Great Hall open and stepped inside.

"For the last time, _no_, Arendelle is not raising taxes on imports and exports from Weselton! Why would you, the duke, want to do that anyway?" Elsa heard her father say.

"I should think Arendelle would be most eager to do that, as your kingdom would gain more income," the Duke of Weselton replied.

Elsa immediately decided she did not like that man. She wasn't sure why; he just made her skin crawl. Elsa looked back at her father, wondering how he would reply. Neither adult had noticed her yet.

"Raising taxes is unnecessary at this time," Agdar said calmly.

"But it's beneficial to all parties involved!"

The real reason this strange man wanted her daddy to raise taxes suddenly hit Elsa. She had no idea what a lot of the words the two men exchanged meant, but she _did_ know what taxes were, and that you didn't want to raise them unless it was absolutely necessary because it made your kingdom's people mad. If her father said raising taxes was unnecessary, then it was. So the strange man was probably wanting the extra money for himself. "You mean it's just be-ne-fi-cial to you 'cause you wanna cheat an' keep extra money for yourself, Mr. Weaseltown," little Elsa announced loudly.

"Who said that?!" the duke asked angrily. "It's Weselton!" The duke caught sight of Elsa standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "King Agdar, is _that_ your daughter?" he said, pointing an accusing finger at Elsa.

Before Agdar could say a word, Elsa ran across the room to the throne dais, gave a slightly clumsy curtsy, and said, "Crown Princess Elsa of Aren-delle, sir."

Agdar squatted down to Elsa's height and said quietly, "Elsa, what are you doing here? You're interrupting an important meeting."

"I was wonderin' what all the noisy talking was." Elsa pointed at the duke and added, "Daddy, he's trying to cheat on moneys!"

"King Agdar, you aren't going to believe a toddler, are you? She doesn't know what she's talking about!"

"I'm not a toddler! I'm three!" Elsa retorted. "Daddy, will you fix my finger? I got a splinter."

Agdar shushed Elsa and quietly told her to leave the room and find Gerda instead before standing up and saying, "She may be three, but she does have a point. What other reason could you have for being so adamant toward raising taxes?"

"It would gain Arendelle more income! You have no proof that I am trying to 'cheat on moneys', as your daughter so eloquently suggested!" the duke replied. "I don't look forward to that little brat on the throne of Arendelle in the future," he added under his breath.

"Did you just call my daughter, the crown princess of Arendelle, a little brat?"

"No! No, of course not!"

The conversation faded away as Elsa headed farther away from the Great Hall. _That mean man called me a brat. He's the one trying to cheat and get extra money!_ _Not me! _She was sure her daddy would tell him off, so she skipped off in search of Gerda to fix her finger.

She finally found Gerda in the kitchen. "Gerda, I got a splinter. I can't get it out!" Elsa held up her finger. "I smell choc'late! Making cake?" she asked.

"Yes, princess. The cake is for _after_ dinner, not now. Let's take a look at that finger." Gerda picked up the little girl and set her down in a chair. "Now which finger is it?"

"This one." Elsa stuck out her tongue at the offending splinter.

"It isn't nice to stick out your tongue, princess," Gerda said as she looked at Elsa's finger.

"What if I don' care? Didn't do it at a person," Elsa said. "That hurt!" she added, trying to pull her hand away.

"Hold still, princess. It's almost out."

Elsa did her best to make her three-year-old self stay still. "Gerda…? C'n I show you somethin'?"

"How about when we have your finger all fixed?"

"Okay." Now Elsa had a _really_ good reason to stay still.

A few seconds later, the splinter was out, and Elsa stuck her sore finger in her mouth. "Thanks you, Gerda," she said.

"You're very welcome. Princess, don't put your finger in your mouth. Let's rinse it off instead, shall we?"

"All right." When Elsa stuck her hand under the stream of water in the faucet, she flipped her palm face-up toward the ceiling, and a fountain of water sprayed everywhere, leaving twinkling ice droplets on the ceiling. Elsa giggled. "Stars on the ceiling!" she announced proudly.

Gerda turned the water off. "Princess Elsa. Look at the kitchen! There's water everywhere! You know doing that with the water makes a mess."

Elsa's lower lip quivered and she started to cry. "I just wanted t' see if I could make stars on the ceiling…" She pointed at the twinkling ice droplets. "Sorry I made mess." Elsa glanced at the snowflakes falling around her. "Gerda, why's it snowing 'round me? Looks de-press-ing."

"Because you're upset, honey. Don't worry about the mess. Just don't make the water spray everywhere again. Where did you hear the word 'depressing'?"

"Mommy. Somethin' about not being able to fix me. I heared her talkin' to Daddy. But I don' _need_ fixing! Like Elsa way I am. Happy Elsa makes happy magics?" Elsa asked curiously, poking at the falling snowflakes. The snowflakes disappeared entirely as Elsa's mood changed.

Gerda knelt down to Elsa's height and gave the little girl a hug. "Yes, princess, happy Elsa makes happy 'magics'. You're right; you don't need fixing."

"Mommy said I did. Why'd she say that then?"

"I don't know, Princess Elsa. Don't worry yourself about it."

"Okay. C'n I go ex-plor-ing?" Elsa asked.

"Just be careful, princess."

"Mmkay!" Elsa ran out of the kitchen and headed toward the stairs that led downstairs to the dungeon. She had never been down there before, but she really, really wanted to know what was down there. Elsa climbed down the stone stairs and tiptoed past the guard at the bottom. _Made it!_ Glancing down the long hallway at the row of doors, she wondered which one to pick to open to look in. _One, two, three, four, five…five, four, three, two, one…I pick…that one!_ Elsa pushed the heavy door open and peeked inside. "Ah-choo!" she sneezed. It was very dusty and just a teeny bit creepy down here. Not creepy enough to make her run back upstairs, though! Elsa went into the cell and stood on her tiptoes, trying to see out the latticed window. _I'm too short. No fair._ There were two metal cup things lying on the floor attached to long chains. Elsa picked up one of the mysterious metal things and promptly dropped it a second later because it was too heavy for her small hands to hold. It clattered loudly on the stone floor. _Oops._ A moment later, Elsa found herself looking up at the guard who had been at the bottom of the stairs.

"Princess Elsa, what are you doing down here? Little girls such as yourself don't need to be down here in the dungeon."

"I'm just lookin'. What's the metal things?" Elsa pointed at the 'metal things' on the floor.

The guard wondered just what to tell to a three-year-old that would make sense but not scare her. Elsa liked learning new words, and would promptly start using them immediately thereafter. "They're shackles, princess. For locking up bad people. Now you run back upstairs and don't come down here again."

"I wanna look in th' other rooms first," Elsa announced. "Creepy an' int'resting down here." She headed out of the cell and started to push open the door to the one next to it.

"Let's not." The guard scooped up the little girl and carried her back up the steps to the main first floor of the castle.

"THAT'S NO FAIR! I CAN PULL RANK, Y'KNOW!" Elsa stamped her foot, and a thin sheen of ice began spreading under her feet.

The guard rubbed his eyes in surprise. "Is that-is that _ice_? And where did you hear the term 'pull rank'?"

_Oops. Daddy and Mommy told me not to show anybody my magics 'cept Kai and Gerda._ Elsa calmed down; the ice disappeared; and she said, "What ice? An' I heard pull rank from Daddy. I'm third in au-thor-ty in Aren-delle. Daddy, Mommy, then me," she counted on her fingers. "Why's people keep askin' where I hear words?"

"Princess, you use words kids your age don't normally use, that's all."

Elsa thought that over for a minute. "Does that mean I'm not normal? An' if I'm not…is normal somethin' I wanna be?"

The guard sighed. Why did _he_ have to be the one trying to explain what exactly 'normal' means to the three-year-old crown princess? "It just means you sometimes talk like a child older than you are."

"Oh. Okay." Elsa turned and walked away, trying to do her best mature and grown-up walk. Then as soon as she reached the main staircase, she dropped that and scrambled up the stairs as fast as she could go. "Mommy! Mommy! Guess what I saw down-stairs?! I was gonna tell Daddy too, but he's busy with a cheater man in th' Great Hall!"

* * *

><p>BACK IN THE PRESENT…<p>

Elsa paced back and forth in her room, thinking. _When I was three, I didn't know any better. I purposely went down to the dungeon to explore. What a dumb little kid I must have been. I got forbidden to go down there because it 'wasn't a place for a young girl' to be. Now Dad actually wanted to put me down there. _She shuddered, remembering those metal shackles she'd seen so long ago. _All because of a storm I didn't make…because I predicted its occurrence. Then again, I don't think Mom and Dad ever really 'approved' of me, even when I was little. Even then, I wasn't allowed to use my powers outside the castle. It just didn't matter to me all that much because I could easily control it then. And because I was naïve and didn't know any better. _"Of course, I'm not that same little girl anymore…I wasn't out of control then. What made me unable to control my powers anymore?" she wondered aloud. _My powers weren't nearly as strong then, either…_

_You hurt Anna. That's what did it. _"But I'm still me! I should have been able to fix everything afterwards!" Elsa said. _You hit your sister in the head. You freaked yourself out and almost killed Anna. You lost your naïveté. That's what happened._ "Why can't I remember how I controlled it when I was little? _Why?!_"

**A/N: So...technically Elsa _has_ seen the 'special cell', but she thinks it's just a regular one since she never saw any of the others.**

**Sorry if little Elsa talks too well for a three-year-old.:P One of my "headcanons" is that Elsa has this super awesome vocabulary, although she doesn't use it all the time. (Hence her 'I advocate you do naught apropos this contravention of punctilio' remark in the last chapter...) So I thought little Elsa would like learning new words.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	16. Thinking and Nightmares

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Thanks for the review, sis;) Yeah, little Elsa did tell "Mr. Weaseltown" off, didn't she?**

**Lindstrom-Um, maybe Elsa's super smart? I dunno.:P I guess maybe she was a little young to figure that out...I hope it wasn't too annoying.:) **

**FanGirlJen-Thank you!:)**

**fattensaad-Thank you! I'm glad you gave my story a try and like it.:) *jumps about like a crazy person* Thanks for the compliment:)**

**On to the story!:)**

The blizzard ended two days later. Elsa was very glad she did not have to listen to the noisy wind howling anymore. _At least I can hear the usual castle noises clearly again._

The one thing she was _not_ looking forward to one bit was her parents knocking on her door again. They had left her alone for the duration of the storm. _Probably because they're scared of me… _Elsa knew that they probably still blamed her for the storm, and that they were more than a little angry with her for "escaping" into her room after the whole dungeon thing. _Well, _I'm_ mad at Dad for suggesting that_, Elsa thought._ It was Not. My. Fault. Anyway, I am not going to worry about it. There are lots of things that are my fault, but that isn't one of them. I know it isn't._

Sure enough, that afternoon, Elsa heard a knock on her door. "The door is frozen shut," she responded flatly.

"Now what if it were Anna out here?" Agdar asked.

"I can recognize Anna's knock, and that wasn't it." _I'm not stupid,_ Elsa thought. _Did you forget you technically forbid Anna to do that?_

"Do we have to take the door off again like last Christmas?"

_Good luck doing that. I purposely stuck the entire door to the ice, and made sure the ice was all over the doorframe too._ Elsa crossed her arms even though no one could see her, and said nothing.

"Good job finally ending the storm."

Elsa rolled her eyes in disgust. _Don't they realize I still have absolutely no idea whatsoever how to unfreeze things? Even if that storm had been mine, I wouldn't have been able to end it. _"I didn't end it. It ended by itself. Because it was _natural_."

"Elsa, we're not starting this again, are we?"

Elsa felt like screaming. _This is so not fair! Emotions on lockdown. Conceal don't feel._ Not wanting to hear anything more, she decided to just disappear into the secret passages. _They can just continue talking to an empty room and think I'm being a brat and ignoring them; I don't care._ Elsa slipped inside the secret entrance as silently as possible and headed for the exit into the forest. She knew the snow was probably deep enough to seal off the exit, but that was okay. After all, she wasn't going to go outside. _I just want to build a snowman inside the passage. It'll be fine._ She'd just pull some snow inside the passage and build her snowman in there.

* * *

><p>When Elsa arrived at the secret exit into the forest, she slid the hidden door up. Sure enough, the snow was piled almost to the top of the 'doorframe'. Only a narrow sliver of light shone in from outside. Elsa began pulling snow into the passage to build her snowman. <em>His name is Olaf. Just like the ones Anna and I made when we were little. And the one we made last Christmas Eve. I wish Anna could be here with me. I miss her.<em>

_ "Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!"_ she made the snowman say in her thoughts._ Me too. Except I…can't have any. Ever. It's not safe and I don't deserve any. Not after what I did to Anna when we were little. I wish I could tell Anna what's wrong with me…but I can't. What if it messed up her memories? Or I hurt her again? Or Anna got scared of me or hated me for what I did? _Elsa remembered when she had been ill the summer before and she and Anna had had time together safely, without Elsa having to worry about controlling her powers. _Anna comforted me when I had that bad dream about the accident and she didn't even know what was wrong. She didn't even have to say anything. She didn't make me talk about it…she just hugged me and let me cry._ "I want Anna back!" she wailed. Elsa crawled into the hole in the snow where she'd pulled snow out to make her Olaf and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to calm down. _I can't expect Anna to listen to and understand me and my weird problems. That's just plain selfish and unreasonable on my part. I need to deal with it myself. I told Anna "life isn't fair" last summer and she said "what kind of cryptic response is that?!" That wasn't just a cryptic response. It was CR-wait, oh my goodness, I did _not_ just think a bad word…did I?_

_ Yes, you most certainly did, Elsa. Got any other brilliant questions? Where did you hear the c-p word anyway? Oh, shut up,_ Elsa told her thoughts. _I heard it out in the marketplace when I was little, then got in trouble for saying it afterwards. I remember Anna copied me and said it too, and then when we found out the _other _meaning of the word when we asked why we shouldn't say it, she was like 'That's icky, Elsa!' and she practically fell over laughing. I wonder if Anna has gotten in trouble for saying a bad word since then. I wonder if she still likes finding toads and lizards outside and holding them. Of course, she always INSISTED adamantly that they were frogs, not toads, no matter what I said... _"They's the same thing!" Elsa remembered a three- and four-year-old Anna saying. _And no matter how much she liked her toads and lizards, she absolutely hated snakes. I remember finding a little garter snake in the castle gardens once and chasing Anna around with it. Anna squealed her head off about that. Mom and Dad didn't like snakes either…they thought I was weird for liking them. And I, on the other hand, didn't like ants. But I had a good reason after Anna and I accidentally disrupted an anthill with fire ants in it. Well, not _exactly_ accidentally…we poked at it on purpose, but we didn't know there were fire ants in it. _Elsa shuddered, remembering how both she and Anna had gotten bites-or were they stings? Elsa couldn't remember which-all over their feet and legs. Elsa hated all kinds of ants with a passion after that, including the little harmless black ones; while Anna didn't seem to have learned her lesson and continued poking anthills when they went outside to play. _But I'd rather have that happen all over again and again than have this actual rotten reality. _

"I just want Anna," she whispered. "I'd give anything to-to-to…" Elsa voice broke as she buried her face in her hands and cried. _I'd voluntarily stay locked in the dungeon if I could have Anna back. Or even just _talk_ to her without getting in trouble. Of course, this whole line of thought is senseless…it's my fault I can't spend time with Anna. It's my powers' fault. Because I can't control it. Because I almost killed her when I was eight. I wish I were just normal. _Elsa's troubled mind finally caught up with exactly what she was doing. There was snow falling around her, beginning to fill in the hole in the snow she was sitting in. "Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel," she muttered. _Useless. Totally useless. _"Was that regarding 'conceal don't feel' or just me?" Elsa wondered aloud. _You. You cause trouble. You can't even control yourself. You're never going to be normal, so you'd better face the facts. _

"What exactly is 'normal'? Who defines it?" Elsa asked herself. _Adults? Whoever happens to be in charge? Society norms? I think it's mostly society norms…but why are 'society norms' what they are? What if 'society norms' are wrong? I know I certainly don't want _me_ to be the gauge for what "normal" is, but why should society dictate what normal is? Maybe that "normal" isn't what some people want, either. Like when Anna and I were little and we did things like hanging upside down in a tree, which was "improper" and therefore not "normal". _"Is normal even really something I want to be?" Elsa asked. _You just want to be normal in the sense that you want to get rid of your powers and be like every other person on the planet, that's all. And mostly so you can simply be around Anna safely. Stop overthinking things, Elsa._

_ Well, when I become queen when I'm a grownup, I am going to make sure Anna doesn't have to conform to society's idea of normal if it's not _her._ If 'just plain Anna' fits "normal", then fine, that's great; but I am NOT making her be anything but herself_, Elsa thought. _I'm still worried about the idea of me being queen. What if I messed up and lost control and revealed my…problem to a visiting ambassador or dignitary? I'd ruin alliances, trade…I'd ruin Arendelle._

Elsa dug the hole in the snow a bit deeper, and curled up in a ball, wishing Anna was there with her. _I wish lots of impossible things…_

* * *

><p>Elsa stayed curled up in the snow for a long time. She knew it had to be dinnertime by now, but she just wasn't hungry. And there was nothing for her in that room back upstairs. Nothing that she hadn't seen quite enough of for years. Nothing that wasn't just going to make her feel more despondent and depressed than she already was. She was in no hurry to go back in there. <em>Maybe I'll just stay here until all the snow melts. It's not like anyone would miss me. Good grief, <em>I _sure wouldn't miss me…_ Elsa drew snowflake patterns in the snow 'ceiling' overhead; then rubbed them away when she realized just what exactly she was drawing. _My signature snowflake pattern. That's what I drew. Why did I do that? I thought I decided I didn't even want to see it anymore. _"I do have to get Anna chocolate. I told her I would," Elsa said aloud. _She said she has a secret stash, though, so I can still stay here awhile. I don't want to go back in my room._

Elsa fell asleep there in the snow that night. The accident from when she and Anna were little invaded her dreams and replayed over and over until Elsa woke up shaking in terror and crying. _Why do I keep dreaming about that? It makes me feel sick. And WHY did I have to miss and hit Anna?! WHY?! What did I do to deserve all this…mess? Anna and I were just two little girls playing together. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I didn't do it on purpose! _Elsa glanced over at her snowman sitting just inside the passage and felt completely heartbroken and angry. _I can't look at you anymore, Olaf. You're making me think of Anna, and thinking of Anna makes me feel…shattered inside. _She scrambled out of the snow 'cave' and dismantled the snowman. Then she felt bad for breaking her snowman and just crawled back into the hole and sobbed, ignoring the ice spreading over the passage's walls. _I want Anna back. I want to fix things, and I CAN'T! I don't know how._

_ Quit thinking about Anna, Elsa. You're just making things worse for yourself. _"I know, but I can't help it! What's the point of _living _if I'm just isolated from everything and everyone forever?! It's pointless; useless! _I want Anna back! _I want my powers to go away and get myself fixed! I want to be able to just be _me_!" _Impossible, Elsa. And you want to know the 'point of living'? You're heir to Arendelle's throne. And you can't dump your future responsibilities on Anna. Surely things will be better someday…right? _"I hope so anyways," Elsa whispered.

* * *

><p>By the next afternoon (or what Elsa judged to be the next afternoon), Elsa still didn't feel particularly hungry, but figured she should probably go eat something anyway. And the snow cave was starting to collapse because it was starting to melt. So Elsa slowly headed back to her room. Everything was exactly as she had left it. Elsa grabbed an apple from her stash of food and went to look at her drawings of her dream-building, which were still fastened to the wall. <em>The ice-fasteners are still intact. The dream-building is just as nice as it was when I first thought of it. There's <em>something_ good that doesn't have to change._

* * *

><p>Late that night, Elsa was awoken by a certain rhythmic knock on her door. Rather than feeling annoyed at being woken up, Elsa was more curious as to why Anna would be knocking at this time of night. Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on her nightstand and accidentally knocked a book on the floor.<p>

"E-Elsa? I know you're awake-I just heard you drop something in there. I c-c-can't sleep…I dreamed something awful happened t-to you. You fell off the roof instead of m-me last Christmas Eve and…and…and I couldn't catch you and…" Anna's voice trailed off.

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. _I know _exactly _what nightmares like that are like. They're horrible. I can't make Anna deal with that on her own._ Elsa tiptoed over to the door. "Think…happy thoughts before you…fall asleep, Anna. It…helps. Usually."

Anna had been _hoping_ Elsa would reply, but she hadn't actually _expected_ her to. "Could…c-could you let me in, just for a minute? I promise I won't touch you or get close to you. I just want to, like, actually see you, so I know you're ok…"

"Anna, I…I…I can't…" Elsa answered sadly. _That ice barrier is still on the door and it's not safe for me to let her in._ "What if I…sing instead?" _I shouldn't do that…I can't just leave Anna out there upset about a bad dream though. Bad dreams are horrible and make it hard to sleep the rest of the night._

"A lullaby?" Anna sat down outside Elsa's door and curled up under the blanket she'd brought with her.

"Yeah…" Elsa said softly. She began singing,

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_ You make me happy when skies are gray_

_ You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_ Please don't take my sunshine away…"_ Elsa's sweet, slightly wistful voice floated out into the hallway to Anna.

"You sing pretty," Anna said sleepily. "Do it again…" Anna suddenly realized just what lyrics her sister was singing as Elsa started her song over again. _What is she singing such a depressing song for?! I mean, it sounds really pretty, but…Elsa, what's happened to you? The eight-year-old Elsa I remember tickled me and told jokes or something when I had a bad dream. Not sing something like that. _Anna had a sick feeling that those lyrics were only too literal in their meaning to her sister's mind. _Oh, Elsa. I'll never take your sunshine away. I don't know why you're thinking _I'm_ your 'only sunshine', but I won't abandon you. Ever. I…love…you…Elsa._

Elsa paused in her singing, trying to hear what Anna was doing. She pressed her ear to the ice barrier on the door. _I think Anna's either asleep out there or gone back to her room._ Elsa sat down with her back leaning against the door; then almost jumped out of her skin when she heard someone say her name. _It's Anna. She's still out there._ "Thank you for coming," Elsa whispered.

"Nah…methankou," Elsa heard Anna mumble.

Elsa gave a happy sigh and curled up against the door herself. _I actually got Anna relaxed enough to go back to sleep. I did something good. I'm not useless._

Both girls slept pressed against the door the rest of the night, each comforted by the fact the other was just on the other side of the door.

It was better than nothing.

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	17. Charades

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**FanGirlJen-Well, I promise everything will get happier eventually:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-I liked that part too...:P Gives Elsa a chance to do something for Anna instead of the other way around.:) Is it rotten that I can't wait till when their parents die?:P Lol;)**

**Lindstrom-I think Elsa needs a hug...:/ I figured Elsa wouldn't mind being close to Anna with the door separating them.:P**

**friend-Thanks for the review!:) I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Why, yes, as a matter of fact Elsa and Anna ARE going to meet directly in this chapter...which is funny, because I hadn't seen your review when I wrote it.;) Not in Elsa's room, though.:P**

**On to the story!:)**

Very early the next morning, Elsa went down to the kitchen through the secret passages and picked up two boxes of chocolate-one for herself and one for Anna, and some leftover pancakes she found wrapped up on the counter. _Let's see…I know Anna is still sleeping right outside my door because I heard her snoring just now. I'll go in Anna's room via the secret passages and leave the box of chocolate under her pillow. She'll know I did it, so she won't question where it's from. _Elsa stopped in her own room on the way to Anna's and quickly wrote a note that simply said 'Make it last' and a smiley face. She stuck it inside Anna's box of chocolate and headed to Anna's room. Elsa listened for any noises coming from inside Anna's room, but there was dead silence. _Good. No one's in there._ Elsa opened the secret entrance, darted into Anna's room, left the chocolates under Anna's pillow, and scrambled back inside the secret entrance. _Made it. Now Anna will find them later this morning. And good grief, Anna's room is so _messy_!_ _How can she find anything in there?!_ Elsa thought her sister's room looked like a tornado had just come through. Clothes, shoes, books, and whatever else Anna owned _everywhere_! All over the floor!

_Of course, Anna doesn't have to worry about freezing her room, so she can afford to have it messy, _Elsa thought as she headed back to her room. One of the main reasons Elsa kept her room perfectly neat with everything put away was so that she wouldn't lose or outright ruin her possessions when she lost control. Elsa remembered one time back when she was eight shortly after the accident-she'd left a few things out where they didn't belong overnight; and after a bad dream had made her lose control, two books and a dress were completely ruined. _And then Mom and Dad wouldn't replace them…because it was my fault that I left them out and subsequently ruined them. _So after that, Elsa made sure that _everything_ was put away, so the absolute worst thing that happened was that there was snow or ice all over the floor. _Except when I was eight, I didn't make a mess all over the floor…it was just part of the floor…_

Elsa sat down in the window seat and ate her pancakes. It was earlier than she woke up usually, but Elsa didn't feel like going back to sleep. She missed Anna; she wanted to _see_ Anna; she wanted to _talk_ to Anna; but most of all, she just wanted to give Anna a hug. _Well, I certainly can't give her a hug. That's completely out of the question since it's not safe. But maybe, just maybe…_ On impulse, Elsa headed into the secret passages again…and found herself going back to Anna's room. _Elsa! Bad girl! You can't do this! You just turn around and march back to your room where you belong. _Elsa paused for a moment, thinking. _Nope. I'm going to Anna's room. I'm going to talk to her, not touch her or get anywhere near her. And I'll go back to my room right after._

Elsa sat down on the floor behind where the door would open so that if someone besides Anna came in, she could easily slip into the hall and not be seen. _There's that entrance into the passages at the top of the staircase at the end of the hall…I'd just have to get to it and slip inside._ Pleased that she had an escape route should something go awry, Elsa smiled and waited for Anna to come back. If she was lucky, Anna should be coming any minute now. Gerda would find Anna sleeping outside Elsa's room and take Anna back to her own room.

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later, Anna walked sleepily into her room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Elsa heard Gerda tell Anna that she should get ready for breakfast soon. Then the door shut again and Elsa hopped to her feet. "Anna?" she asked hesitantly. "Please don't be mad at me for sneaking into your room without permission, but-"<p>

"AAH!" Anna screamed.

"AAH!" Elsa screamed in surprise at Anna's scream.

"What happened?!" they asked each other at the same time. Then, "Sorry, you first."

Both girls started giggling uncontrollably. Finally, Elsa managed to say, "Anna, I know I'm not supposed to be here…I just…I just…wanted to talk to you…" Elsa looked down at the floor and clasped her hands together.

"Am I still dreaming or is my sister, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle standing in my room?" Anna asked, sounding a bit puzzled.

"I'm really here," Elsa replied with a small smile.

"So wait, how did you…I mean what the…how in the world did you get in here without waking me up?! I was sleeping right up against your door!" Anna exclaimed. "Don't get me wrong-I'm not mad. Just surprised," she assured her sister.

"Teleportation," Elsa responded in a silly voice. "Just kidding!"

Anna laughed and ran to lock the door, just in case. "I'll believe that story when I see it! Anyways…what made you come to my room now all of a sudden? Oh yeah, and I want to know why you were singing such a depressing song last night! Where in the world did that come from?"

Elsa's smile disappeared. "My head, Anna," she whispered. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal don't feel…I am NOT losing control in front of Anna._

"Elsa…is what that song said really true? Those lyrics…" Anna knew she should just change the subject, but she _had_ to know.

Elsa hesitantly nodded as her eyes filled with tears. _Yes, Anna. They are. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel… _She didn't trust herself to say anything aloud without completely losing it.

Anna longed to give her sister a comforting hug, but she was sure that any actions like that on her part would just chase Elsa away again entirely. _Elsa's lonely. She may not admit it, but she is. She wouldn't have risked getting in trouble all over again by coming here otherwise. _"Elsa, I don't know why you're feeling like that, but I'm telling you for now and forever; I will _never_ abandon you. Ever. Even if things around here never change and you stay in that room forever, I will _never_ 'take your sunshine away'. I'll be right here for you. Always." Anna sounded resolute and determined. _And I mean it. I'm never, ever abandoning her. Elsa needs someone to be there for her even if she's convinced she's better off alone._

Elsa just stared at Anna, her blue eyes filled with unshed tears. "Why d-do you still c-care about me?" _She should hate me for the way I ignore her all the time. I'd be devastated if she did, but I wouldn't blame her one bit._

"Because you're my sister, Elsa, and sisters should always have each others' backs," Anna answered instantly.

"But I don't have yours…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"Then I'll just have to count for both of us until you can," Anna retorted. "I have no idea what's happened to you, but my gut tells me it's not entirely you that's making you act this way. Therefore I will have to fix that, huh?" Anna gave Elsa a lopsided smile.

"You can't fix it," Elsa mumbled. "It's just me. Stupid, abnormal, defective me." Elsa glanced down at her gloved hands in disgust.

"Quit calling yourself all those nasty names, Elsa. You know what? Let's talk about something else. Or play a game," Anna suggested. "Ooh, I know! How about charades? You don't have to get anywhere near me to play that!" Anna shoved all the things she had all over the floor against the walls and under the bed so there was a large space in the center of her room.

"Okay!" Elsa's unhappy countenance brightened. "You go first!"

Anna thought for a moment before stretching her arms straight in front of her and clapping them open and shut.

"Alligator," Elsa replied instantly.

Anna made a face. "You guessed too fast!"

"Well, that was a really easy one. Don't forget, it doesn't have to be an animal," Elsa said. She paused, thinking of what she wanted to do, before walking to the middle of the empty space and bending backwards into a bridge.

Anna was puzzled-and surprised. "You can still do that?" Anna remembered Elsa doing that when they were little and then cracking up laughing when Anna's arms wouldn't hold her up when she tried to copy the move. "Elsa…come on, what are you supposed to be? Aren't you going to do anything else?"

Elsa giggled and almost tipped herself off balance. "It's really, really obvious if you think about it…"

"Acrobat?"

"What? No!"

"Ok, um…gymnast?"

"Nope."

"A really weird bendy snake?"

Now Elsa literally fell over laughing before standing up and dropping back into the bridge position. "No, Anna. Come on; what's the move called?"

"A bridge…hey, Elsa, that's no fair!" Anna complained when she realized the answer. "And wait a second…you're sixteen…how are you doing that if you're wearing a corset?"

"Sure it is! I was being a literal bridge." Elsa stood up from her bridge without dropping down on her back first, which irritated Anna a little, because she _still_ couldn't do that. Last time she'd tried that, she had actually ended up falling over and having a sore head for two days. Oops. "Your turn now," Elsa announced. "Also…don't tell anyone, but I'm _not_ wearing a corset. They're uncomfortable and itchy…yeah, thanks but no thanks." Elsa shook her head firmly. _It's not like anyone's going to see me and find out anyway…Well, Anna didn't know, so it's probably not noticeable anyhow. And neither our parents nor Gerda have ever questioned me about it, so I'm probably safe._

Anna giggled. "I think I'll do the same when Mom decides that I'm old enough for one. I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me." (This comment earned her a smile from Elsa.) Anna took her spot in the empty space and proceeded to stand tall and walk _very_ slowly and regally with her hands clasped in front of her.

"A bride?" Elsa guessed.

"Uh-uh."

Elsa sighed. "Me? I do that dumb clasping hands thing all the time…"

"You're close…"

"Is it me doing something specific?"

"Yeah. You doing something specific in the future." Anna gave a hint.

"Anna, I don't want to guess anything about me. Just go ahead and tell me. You can go again if you want," Elsa said.

"It's you at your coronation to be queen of Arendelle!" Anna announced.

"Terrific," Elsa replied dully. She jumped as both she and Anna heard a sharp knock on the door. _Oh, no…_

"Anna, why haven't you come down to breakfast yet? And who are you talking to in there?" they heard their father say.

Elsa's face went white. _I'm going to be in so much trouble if Dad finds out I'm in here._

But Anna had a quick explanation. "Sorry, lost track of time…I'm playing a charade impersonating game, that's all. So I might have kinda sorta been talking out loud to nobody."

Elsa frowned at Anna's lie, and Anna held up her crossed fingers. _Anna, that's the oldest thing to get away with lying ever…but I'd rather go along with that than get discovered in here. Besides, we _are_ playing a charade impersonating game…_

"Well, please hurry up, Anna. Stop your game and come down. Breakfast is served now."

Struck by an idea, Elsa grinned and motioned for Anna to stay quiet. _Dad completely believed Anna…I bet I can make Anna's excuse even more convincing… _Then, in a voice that sounded mostly like herself but a bit like Anna, she said, "Listen to this! See, this is my Elsa impersonation! Is it convincing? 'Go away, Anna.'" Elsa paused for a second and then said in a deep voice that sounded somewhat like her father's, "And this is me copying you. 'Hurry up, Anna. Stop your game and come downstairs.'"

Anna stood behind Elsa, silently laughing so hard tears rolled down her cheeks as she clutched her sides. _Elsa should be a comedienne. She's a riot! THAT'S the Elsa I remember._

"All right, Anna, game time over. Come down as soon as you're ready."

Elsa changed her voice so it sounded like Anna's, "Yeah, sure, Dad. Just gotta braid my hair and I'm coming. 'Kay?"

* * *

><p>The girls heard their father's footsteps fade away down the hall. Elsa cracked up laughing when she saw what Anna was doing. "Was I really that funny?"<p>

"Yeah…you were!" Anna gasped out. "Where'd you learn…how to do…impersonations like that? I remember you did impersonations when we were little, but they weren't _that_ good then. You even made your…impersonation of yourself sound…just a teeny bit like me!" Anna literally collapsed on the floor laughing. "And how on earth…did you manage to…keep from bursting out laughing?!"

"Anna, pull yourself together! You have to braid your hair and get downstairs to breakfast like I claimed you were," Elsa said, still giggling. _That was fun. I haven't felt this happy in forever._ "I'm being serious now, Anna…I don't think I can get over here again…I'm not safe to be around most of the time…" she trailed off. _Any of the time…I shouldn't have come here. It was risky and selfish on my part. But nothing happened though…Elsa, quit trying to find loopholes. You were wrong to come here. You don't belong here. You risked Anna's safety to let yourself be happy for a little while. That was dumb._

Anna looked at her sister as they both stopped laughing. "It's all right, Elsa. I can't tell you that I understand, because I don't. But I'm not mad at you. And I won't be mad even if you never come back in here again. I've missed you and I've really, really enjoyed being with you," she said sincerely. "Remember…I'm always here for you. _Always._"

"Thank you, Anna…for everything," Elsa replied quietly, willing Anna to understand everything she couldn't put into words. That Anna didn't try to make her explain her odd, inconsistent behavior. That Anna still cared about her. That Anna didn't push the issue about explaining how Elsa had gotten to Anna's room. That Anna didn't start asking her about the gloves again. That Anna was willing to play a game with her even though they both knew it was a one-time thing. _And a million other things,_ Elsa thought.

Anna quickly brushed her hair and braided into her usual pigtail braids. "Elsa, you are very, very welcome. I wish I could do more for you…to make you happy."

"You _do_ make me happy, Anna. Truly." _You're the _only_ reason I'm ever happy_, Elsa thought.

Anna smiled at Elsa and started to head out of her room to go downstairs. She paused in the doorway and turned back to face Elsa. "You want me to walk back to your room with you?"

Elsa gave her sister a small smile and shook her head. "I better go back alone. Go on down to breakfast. Don't bother with me anymore."

"Elsa, you are _not_ a bother," Anna scolded, frowning. _Elsa thinks she's not worth spending time with…like she's just something you can't wait to get rid of. What have Mom and Dad said to her that's made her think of herself like that?_ Now Anna felt mad, but she knew she had better go downstairs before someone came to see what was taking her so long."I guess I'd better go downstairs before Dad gets suspicious…"

Elsa nodded. "Okay. Bye, Anna." _I love you, Anna. Thank you for everything._

Anna sent Elsa a virtual hug, and reluctantly headed down the hall.

Elsa waited until she heard Anna's footsteps going down the stairs. Then she opened the secret entrance in her sister's room, closed it behind her, and headed back to her own room. _What an awesome morning. Even if it was just a one-time thing, since I can't do this again. I love you, Anna._

* * *

><p>Downstairs at breakfast, Anna couldn't keep from giggling every time she thought of Elsa doing her spot-on impersonations.<p>

"What is so funny, Anna?" Idun asked.

"Nothing."

"You wouldn't be laughing at nothing."

Now Anna laughed harder because she had just thought of something she found terribly amusing. "Mom, Dad…you can't laugh at nothing because if you're laughing at nothing it becomes something because nothing can be something but something can't be nothing…Wait, what?! That made a _lot_ more sense in my head. Never mind."

"I don't remember you being able to do impersonations like that before. I've been thinking…the one who used to do impersonations like that was your sister. You wouldn't have happened to have had Elsa in your room this morning, would you?" Agdar asked.

Anna forced herself to keep laughing, trying to keep from giving herself and Elsa away. _Oh, no…I can't let Dad find out. _Elsa_ will end up being the one in trouble, not me._ "Why would you think I had Elsa in my room? _You_ never let Elsa out of her own room."

"And I could have sworn I heard your sister singing something late last night, although I couldn't tell what it was…"

Anna frowned. "If you heard Elsa's singing late last night, why didn't you come check to see what we were-" Anna's eyes went wide when she realized she had just accidentally given herself and Elsa away. _Oh no. Me and my big mouth. Dad, _please_ don't get mad at Elsa. She didn't do anything wrong._

"You and your sister were together this morning and last night. I thought it was crystal clear that you two cannot spend time together. It isn't safe for you to be around her."

"DAD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Anna shouted. Now that she knew there was no way to fix the damage her hasty words had caused, she decided to go ahead and say what she wanted to say. "Ok, Elsa _was_ in my room this morning. And you know what? We played a game together and NOTHING HAPPENED! You act like Elsa has a contagious disease or something. She doesn't! I _know_ she doesn't! And you know what else? That girl-my sweet, friendly, sister, Elsa-thinks she's not worth spending time with! _She asked me why I still care about her!_ Elsa is hurting on the inside, and it's _your_ fault! You guys are mistreating her. I just hope you just don't know it, because if you're knowingly making Elsa feel like that; it's wrong and horrible. I think you should apologize to her by making a few changes around here." Anna leaned back in her seat as she finished her little speech.

"Anna, you have to understand…it is _not_ safe for you two to be together. Surely you have to be exaggerating significantly about your sister's feelings about everything."

"I'm not," Anna said firmly. _I think Elsa's way of hiding her true feelings from Mom and Dad is working against her. She probably _doesn't_ seem hurt on the inside whenever she's around them. So Mom and Dad genuinely have no idea how she feels…_

"Then you probably misunderstood her."

"No. I didn't. I think maybe…" Anna paused as she tried to think what to say without saying 'Elsa hides her feelings from you because she doesn't trust you'. "Maybe you should pay super duper close attention to the way Elsa acts when you see her."

"This topic is closed to further discussion."

"I'm going upstairs then," Anna announced, and left the dining hall without waiting to be excused.

* * *

><p>When Elsa opened the note Anna had pushed under her door explaining how she had accidentally told on them, she felt sick to her stomach. <em>Great. Anna, WHY couldn't you have kept yourself from laughing? And why was I dumb enough not to remember that I did like doing impersonations when I was little? That was so <em>stupid_. Now both of us are going to be in trouble, but I know I'm the one that Dad's going to be angry with mostly. Which is understandable, since I was the one who left her room when she wasn't supposed to, but…_ She knew Anna hadn't told on the two of them on purpose, but the facts remained that Anna had told, and that Elsa was going to be the one to get in the worst trouble. Elsa sighed. _I'm going to end up in the dungeon. Or I'll lose the entrance in my room to the secret passages and it'll get sealed off. _"I _knew_ I shouldn't have gone to Anna's room. But I went and did it anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

So Elsa wasn't surprised in the least when her father came knocking on her door a few minutes later. "Hello. Let me guess. I'm in trouble for going to Anna's room," she said flatly.

"Did Anna give you a note under the door? You know you're not supposed to have any contact with her, let alone go in her room. It isn't safe."

_Just get to the point. I know I'm going to get punished somehow. So what is it?_ Elsa thought. _Blah blah blah…I know I shouldn't spend time with Anna…it was stupid…I get it. I'm dangerous. Don't remind me, please._ She frowned and crossed her arms as she glared at the closed door and the ice barrier against it; but said nothing.

"You'll be making a trip downstairs if I hear any word that something like this has happened again."

Elsa stuck out her tongue at the door, thinking it didn't matter that she was being rude since no one could see her. "Euphemism alert," was all she said aloud.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It _means_" Elsa stressed the word 'means', "that I know that 'downstairs' means the castle dungeon, and that I would rather you just said it outright than avoid saying what it really is." _I'm not surprised, but I am _not_ going down there. I probably deserve it though. Going to Anna's room was a selfish thing to do on my part. What if I'd messed up and hurt her again?_ Elsa purposely blocked out her father's voice as she lit a candle and slipped into the secret passages. She just didn't want to listen anymore. Elsa made her way to the entrance into her sister's room and leaned against the passage wall. _I'll just have to be satisfied with this. At least I can sort of be close to Anna, even if she doesn't know I'm here. _"I don't deserve to even do this," she whispered. "I risked Anna's safety by spending time with her…" Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away…_" Elsa stopped singing when she felt her voice give out as she started to cry silently. _Emotions on lockdown. Emotions on lockdown. I've got to stay sane. I've got to just forget everything and everyone, including Anna, even if it hurts. Which it will. _Still, Elsa stayed where she was, as close to Anna as she could be without risking her sister's safety again.

* * *

><p>On the other side of the wall, Anna jumped in surprise. She was <em>sure <em>she'd heard Elsa singing that depressing song again and sounding awfully plaintive. _I must have imagined it. Still, I don't know…just in case…_ Anna thought for a minute before singing to the same melody,

_"I'll be your sunshine, forever'n'ever_

_I'll make you happy when skies are gray_

_You'll always know dear, how much I love you_

_I'll never take your sunshine away."_ Anna stopped singing and said aloud, "I'm, like, 99.999 percent sure I imagined your singing, Elsa, but just in case of the one percent chance that it was real, listen up. I mean it. I may not be able to be with you, but I'm here for you. Forever." She felt rather silly talking to what seemed to be absolutely nothing, but hey…just in case. Just in case.

* * *

><p>Little did she know Elsa was on the other side of the wall in the secret passages. Elsa heard every word Anna said. <em>She did that for me and she really honest to goodness thought she was imagining things. I need to be quiet if I want to stay here. I know I don't deserve you, but thank you so much, Anna. I love you.<em>

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	18. Hurricane

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Anna can't get anywhere with it without the story going out of canon entirely:P P.S. Lol, I agree; it is kinda rotten...oh well;)XD**

**fattensaad-Glad you're enjoying the story!:)**

**Lindstrom-That's the most succinct explanation of plot goings-on ever. Spot on:P :) **

**ElsaIsAmazing-I'm glad you like it!:) Hmm, that's a good idea, but then Anna would end up hearing about Elsa's powers too most likely...I'll try to work _something_ in with your idea, I'm just not sure how to do so without going way out of canon, lol:P**

**On to the story!:)**

Summer came again, and Elsa turned seventeen. She didn't bother to try to ask to see Anna, since she knew her request would just be denied. _And it's not safe anyway…_ Nevertheless, Anna managed to slip a carefully handmade birthday card under Elsa's door. Both girls knew that the door was being watched carefully for any contact between the two, and Anna was determined not to get Elsa in trouble again by accidentally blathering something or getting the two of them caught. So she slipped the card under the door quick as a wink and ran off down the hall without saying a word out loud.

Inside her room, Elsa ran over to the door and happily picked up the card. Her eyes grew big when she saw what Anna had drawn on the cover and on the inside. _She drew us building a snowman together when we were little on the front…then she put our present selves building a snowman together on the inside…_ Elsa smiled sadly as she read Anna's written message. _"Dear Elsa, I love you. You just remember that you are NOT worthless. And go find another form of sunshine for yourself besides me since I can't be with you. Princess Anna of Arendelle commands it! I drew the snowman pictures because I remember you loved winter so much when we were little. Plus, you told me you were immune to cold last Christmas! Which is super cool. Pun intended.:) Anyway, happy seventeenth birthday, Elsa! I miss you lots. Love ('CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT), Anna. P.S. Things will be better someday. I just know it."_

Elsa clutched Anna's card to her heart. _Anna actually remembers that I loved winter when we were little?! I still do, actually. If I knew how to control my powers, I'd say winter is _my _season. My element. But I can't, and so I don't. Immune to cold…hah, if Anna knew WHY I'm immune to cold, I know she wouldn't think it was so cool. But anyways…she didn't have to give me anything for my birthday. And she did anyway. Anna is awesome. _"Sorry, Anna, I can't follow your command. You _are _my only sunshine," she whispered.

That night, Elsa dreamed of building a snowman together with her sister up on the North Mountain. No cares, no worries. They were just _together_, and she and Anna were their real-life selves. It was as if a time machine had taken their pre-accident little selves, and flashed them to their present ages. Elsa still had ice powers, and Anna did not. But Elsa was in control, and Anna didn't dislike Elsa or feel scared of her.

Elsa couldn't honestly say she was completely happy the next morning when she woke up, but she somehow felt a sense of peace for once. _Anna's right. Things _will _be better someday. I don't know how or when, but it _will _happen. Someday._

* * *

><p>A few weeks later, Elsa discovered that not only could she predict winter blizzards, she could predict summer hurricanes as well. This was odd to her, since she had always thought that her powers were strictly over all things cold…<em>not<em> any other sorts of weather patterns. _They're still getting stronger, _Elsa thought in horror as she watched the wind blow the falling rain sideways out her still-missing window as it became dark outside. Elsa had not told anyone about her storm prediction because she didn't want to get blamed for making a storm again. _I need to get down to the first floor. It's not safe up here…_ Just as she was thinking that, there was a sharp knock on her door.

"Princess Elsa, I hope you don't have an ice barrier on that door at the moment. I've received strict orders to make sure you get downstairs until the hurricane is over. Your sister and parents are already in the cellar," Gerda said.

Elsa bit her lip. "Downstairs into the cellar or downstairs into the dungeon?" she asked hesitantly, not sure she wanted to know the answer. _I'll just take my chances and stay here if it's the dungeon._

"The cellar, of course, princess! My goodness, the dungeon…what sort of nonsense talk is that?!" _King Agdar didn't tell her about that cell, did he…?_

_It's not nonsense. I wish it was. _"There's no ice barrier on the door right now," Elsa admitted, relieved. She had allowed it to melt, but hadn't told anyone since she figured if her parents thought the door was frozen shut, they wouldn't try to come in. "I don't mind if you unlock the door and come in," she added, backing to the far side of the room.

Gerda opened the door and noticed the missing window.

Elsa followed her gaze and quickly said, "Gerda, please don't remind my parents about that. I like the window missing because it lets the outside air in."

"Of course I won't, princess."

Elsa said thank you and grabbed a book, some paper, and a pen before following Gerda out of the room. "Gerda, are you sure I'm supposed to come out? I'm not going to get in trouble for leaving my room?" she asked. _I find it a bit hard to believe Mom and Dad would let me stay in the cellar with them and Anna, even during a hurricane…_

Gerda turned back towards Elsa. "You are _not_ going to get in trouble for leaving your room, Princess Elsa. Did you think you were supposed to stay upstairs during a hurricane, especially one as severe as this one?"

Elsa slowly nodded. "They don't like me. And I'm dangerous," she said quietly. "Gerda, you're very, very sure I'm supposed to come to the cellar?" Elsa asked again, feeling and sounding more like she was seven than seventeen. _Except I was in control when I was seven…_

"Princess…your mother specifically told me to come fetch you and bring you downstairs. Come along." Gerda started down the staircase, making sure Elsa was following her, even if she was trailing several feet behind.

Elsa trailed behind, still not quite believing that she was supposed to be doing this. Soon they came to the kitchen, where the trapdoor leading down into the large cellar was. "Gerda, what if I lose control in there? I might hurt Anna…" Elsa whispered, clutching her book and paper and pen to her chest.

"You didn't lose control when you played charades with Anna a few months ago. Yes, I heard what happened from your sister," Gerda added when she saw Elsa's incredulous expression.

"What if I fall asleep and have a bad dream? I always make a huge icy mess when that happens…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

Gerda pulled the trapdoor open. "In you go, princess. You will be fine. Think happy thoughts."

* * *

><p>Elsa slowly climbed down the ladder into the cellar. "Thank you, Gerda." The trapdoor closed, and Elsa blinked several times, trying to get used to the dim lighting from the single kerosene lamp in the middle of the floor. <em>Where is everyone?<em>

Elsa's question was answered when a shape jumped up from the floor and shouted, "ELSA! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE DOWN HERE NOW! Can we play a game?!" Anna asked excitedly.

Elsa was still thinking what she should respond when she heard, "Leave Elsa alone. Can't you see she brought a book to read?"

"I don't have to read it right now," Elsa muttered, but she took her cue from that and headed to the opposite corner of the cellar that was the farthest away from her sister and parents. _They don't want me here. They just brought me here because they had to. Well, at least they let me come down here anyways._ A sudden thought made her pause before sitting down. What if there were bugs on the floor or something? She didn't have some weird bug phobia exactly, but she did _not_ want to share the corner with them. Elsa ran back to the center of the cellar and took the lamp back over to her corner to make sure she wasn't going to be sitting on a bunch of dead bugs. The floor was clean. She put the lamp back in the middle of the floor and returned to the corner. _It's not light enough over here to read,_ she thought. Elsa leaned against the wall, pulled her knees to her chest, and just sat in silence.

"Dad, you can't make Elsa sit way over there in the corner! It's dark over there and…and…and well, it's just _mean_!" Anna exclaimed. "And she can't read her book over there, either."

"It's okay, Anna. I'm fine," Elsa said quietly. _Surely it's all right for me to talk to Anna…I mean, I'm being allowed in the same room at the moment because of extenuating circumstances…_

"See, you heard it from your sister herself. She's fine. Don't bother her."

Elsa took a deep breath. "Anna is not bothering me."

"See? Elsa said it herself-I'm not bothering her," Anna said triumphantly. "Can I please, please, please play a game with Elsa?"

Elsa watched with hopeful eyes for the answer. _I don't dare say I want to play a game with Anna. That'll get us a veto for sure._ Instead of saying a word, Elsa caught the shadow on the wall from the lamp and made a shadow bunny that only Anna could see because of the angle. _There. Now Anna will know I want to play with her, even if the final verdict is no._ Elsa smiled as she realized Anna had noticed her shadow animal and grinned at her.

"You can as long as you two don't get close to one another," Idun said.

Elsa was delighted. That was more than she could have hoped for, and besides, she didn't want to get close to Anna anyway. It wasn't safe.

Anna, on the other hand, was disgusted. "That's stupid. Maybe I want to give Elsa a hug or something."

Before Elsa's mind could process what was going on, Anna had run over to Elsa and hugged her. Elsa immediately tensed up all over. _Anna, get away from me. Please…_ But then when Anna continued holding her and nothing happened, Elsa started to relax ever so slightly.

The next thing Elsa knew, Anna, making a huge ruckus, had been dragged away from her, leaving Elsa feeling more lonely and unwanted than ever. Yes, Elsa agreed wholeheartedly that Anna should not hug her, but it still hurt. _I don't belong here. I'm just the dangerous family outcast…the defective one. _"Maybe I should just…go back upstairs…whether it's safe or not," she said, her voice faltering a bit. _Okay, Elsa, stop it right now. Emotions on lockdown. Conceal don't feel. You can't lose control down here._

Anna was positive from the sound of her sister's voice that she was more upset than she was letting on. She pulled herself away from her parents and walked back toward Elsa. _Oh, Elsa…_

Elsa sat in the corner curled in a ball with her forehead resting on her knees, trying to block out her surroundings. _You didn't expect to see Anna at all today, so why are you upset in the first place? You know you can't let her hug you anyways. Quit crying, Elsa. Can't lose control. Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…I'm sleepy, actually…think happy thoughts…Anna and me on the North Mountain playing safely together…yeah…_

Knowing she was just going to get pulled away from Elsa again if she tried to hug her, Anna grabbed two blankets from the pile on a shelf and said softly, "Elsa? Why don't you just go to sleep? We can play a game tomorrow. I know it's late."

Elsa made no response. Anna waited a minute longer in silence before realizing Elsa had fallen asleep. "Mom, Dad…you just come over here and look at Elsa. She fell asleep like that, sitting curled up in a ball!" Anna whispered fiercely. "You hurt her feelings, yanking me away from her like you did!" _No wonder Elsa thinks of herself as not worth spending time with…_ Anna's own eyes filled with tears as she thought about what her poor sister must have felt like, that her own parents wouldn't even let Anna give her a hug. She knew Elsa didn't like being touched (in which case Anna realized it was awfully stupid to randomly grab her and give her a hug), but still. The whole thing was weird. _What am I supposed to do? I'm just a kid-I can't help Elsa! Well, I know what I'm going to do right this second anyways. _Anna gently got Elsa to lie down, resting her sister's head on a folded blanket. Then Anna took the second blanket and covered Elsa with it, pulling it around her sister's shoulders. Anna frowned when she noticed the tears streaking Elsa's face, and carefully brushed them away. _I love you, Elsa. I'm sorry I can't fix things for us. _Anna stroked Elsa's hair lightly, not daring to actually give her a hug again, since it would risk waking her up.

Elsa didn't wake up, but she smiled a little and subconsciously snuggled closer to Anna. Anna was very surprised until she realized Elsa was still asleep. _So Elsa _does_ like someone being close to her…she just thinks she can't because of the 'it's not safe' thing…Well, at least she's happy right now, even if she is just sleeping. I know Elsa wouldn't let me be this close to her if she was awake…what is going on?!_

"Anna, what are you doing over there?"

"I'm making Elsa happy, since nobody else will," Anna answered softly. "She's _asleep_, Dad. That" Anna pointed at her sister "does _not_ look dangerous. Why can't you understand that she just wants someone to…to, oh, I don't know what the right word is…accept her, maybe?"

The conversation abruptly ended when Elsa said, "...building Olaf with me, Anna…fun together…ice slide magic…"

"I rest my case," Anna announced. "She's happy. Hey, wait…ice slide magic, Elsa? That sounds cool! What are you talking about?" Something poked at Anna's brain, but she couldn't place it at all.

Elsa didn't reply, of course. She was fast asleep, happily playing on ice slides _she_ made with Anna in her dream.

* * *

><p>Anna carefully stood up, making sure she didn't wake Elsa up. Then she tiptoed over to her parents. She had a question. An extra important question. "Mom, Dad…when me and Elsa-I mean Elsa and I-were little, right before she started staying in her room all the time, I remember we slid down icy ramps of snow in the courtyard. Then I <em>think<em> I fell somehow and hit my head…it's all kind of fuzzy. What happened, exactly?" Anna had never really questioned the fuzziness of that particular memory; she figured that she must have gotten knocked on the head hard enough to make the whole thing hazy. But now…had something happened that Elsa blamed herself for? That would sort of explain why Elsa thought she wasn't safe for Anna to be around. Maybe Elsa had accidentally pushed or hit her. Or threw a snowball at her or something and made her slip. _I have to know!_

"You two were playing together by yourselves…no one saw exactly what happened."

"But Elsa had to have told you what happened," Anna pressed. "Please tell me! Did Elsa do something to make me fall that she's blaming herself for?"

"To our knowledge, you just slipped and fell…"

Anna was disappointed at that answer. That meant her reasoning for Elsa's behavior was wrong. _Boo. And I was so sure I was right._ "Can I sleep next to Elsa?" she asked.

Dead silence.

"Well, in that case, I'm gonna assume it's a yes," Anna said, and proceeded to grab two blankets for herself.

"Anna, you can't sleep next to your sister. It's not safe."

Anna rolled her eyes and stamped her foot; then whipped around, checking to see if she'd woken Elsa up. She hadn't. "Elsa. Is. Not. Dangerous. And I'm gonna prove it. So there." She marched across the cellar and started rolling up one of the blankets to use as a pillow.

"You do that and you're going to find yourself with no dessert for a month."

Anna didn't hesitate with her reply. "That's not getting me this time. No sirree. I care more about my sister than my dessert, thank you very much." She plopped down on the floor and curled up next to Elsa. "Good night."

"Anna…get back over here right now."

"Uh-uh…And guess what? If you try to physically make me move, I'm gonna yell and scream and make such a huge fuss you can't believe it."

What Anna did not know was that her threat was actually more convincing to her parents than she assumed. If Anna followed through with that, she would wake Elsa up. And Elsa would probably freak out…and a freaked-out Elsa would lose control. Right now Elsa was calm and fast asleep.

Anna grinned and scooched a bit closer to her sister. _After all, Elsa's asleep. She won't mind since she doesn't know…_

* * *

><p>An hour later, Anna blinked her eyes open in surprise when she felt a cool, almost cold something holding her. <em>What's going on?<em> Anna tried to wiggle away, but the something whimpered slightly and clutched Anna tighter. _Oh, right…I'm in the cellar next to Elsa. Wait, _Elsa_ is holding me?!_ Now Anna was mad. _Mom and Dad are dead set on keeping me away from Elsa, and she claims herself that it's not safe for me to be around her. And now that she's asleep, she's actually holding on to me and won't let go. _Anna wiggled one of her arms loose from Elsa's tight hold, and put her arm around Elsa. _I love you, Elsa. You shouldn't need to hang onto me like this, but if that's what makes you happy, then that's fine with me._

Elsa's eyes blinked open, not really focusing on anything. _I'm still dreaming. Yeah, I have to be still dreaming. I wouldn't have hugged Anna myself in real life. What a nice dream…_

Anna was startled when Elsa blinked dazedly at her. "Elsa?"

"Are you real?" Elsa asked. She put out one hand to touch Anna's face. "You seem real…I know you can't be though…I wouldn't have let you this close to me in real life…"

Anna opened her mouth to say something, but Elsa kept talking.

"…since you're dream-Anna, I gotta tell you something…You should hate me…freak…monster…defective…" Elsa covered her face with her hands as she shook with sobs.

Anna's heart went out to her sister, knowing that Elsa really believed herself to still be dreaming and that that was the _only_ reason she had said those things and hadn't immediately hightailed it away from Anna. _Well, if Elsa thinks I'm just a dream, then I won't scare her if I give her a hug, right? _With this logic, Anna glanced in the direction of their parents to make sure they were still asleep. Then she sat up, pulled Elsa into her lap, and held her close; not caring that her sister was seventeen and not a little four- or five-year-old. "Shhh, Elsa, it's ok. I could never hate you. You're no freak or monster. You're my sweet older sister who deserves lots of good friends and nice things…chocolate, perhaps?"

Elsa's tears began to slow as she listened to Anna's soothing words. _Nice dream-Anna. I wish this was real life…_

Anna smiled as Elsa calmed down and contentedly buried her face in Anna's shoulder.

"…wish this was real…" Elsa mumbled.

Anna wished she could tell Elsa that it was indeed real, but she didn't dare. She'd probably just make Elsa upset all over again or scare her. So she stayed quiet.

"…playing with you…North Mountain…summit…" Elsa said into Anna's shoulder as she fell completely asleep again.

_What in the world?! Playing with me on the North Mountain? Where did that come from?! _Anna frowned, knowing that the summit of the North Mountain was in the middle of nowhere. There was no one around for miles up there. Still, it was a dream, and Anna figured Elsa could dream whatever she wanted as long as it made her happy. "Right, Elsa, playing together on the summit of the North Mountain, doing…uh…um…ah… Well, whatever it is we're doing," she finished, hoping she hadn't messed up Elsa's dream.

Elsa giggled in her sleep. "…y'know what we're doing…buildin' Olaf, of course! An' ice slide magics…"

_There she goes about magical ice slides again! And she sounds like she's about three…what is Elsa talking about?_ Anna bit her tongue, wondering if she should say anything else. She didn't want to risk getting Elsa upset again, but it seemed really odd to her that Elsa had just started talking about magical ice slides-or, as in this time, 'ice slide magics'-for the second time. _Nah, it's probably just a recurring dream of hers. I'm not risking making her upset again._ Anna leaned against the wall, still holding Elsa. Anna's arms were getting tired, but no way was she going to wake Elsa up to try to get her to lay down again. More likely she'd scare Elsa instead.

Soon Anna fell asleep as well. Both Anna and Elsa slept peacefully the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>The next morning found Anna back on the other side of the cellar and Elsa still in the corner. When Anna woke up, she was absolutely disgusted. <em>Did Mom and Dad really have to move us? I was perfectly happy over in the corner with Elsa, thank you very much.<em>

As for Elsa, her first thought when she woke up was that her dreams had seemed _awfully_ real last night. How much of the dream while she and Anna were still in the cellar had been real, if any? _Probably none, _she decided. _It _couldn't_ have been real. I got upset and I didn't lose control. That's impossible. So it must have been a dream. But it was wonderful while it lasted._

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	19. Hurricane-Part II

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-I'm glad you liked it:) After I wrote it, I was wondering if it was too similar to bholley's story (I happen to really like that story actually), but I swear I really did come up with it myself:P Hopefully it wasn't too much the same...:/**

**bananas-rule-2015-Glad you liked it!:) I think Anna is smarter than some people give her credit for; surely she had to have figured out a _little_ bit about why Elsa acts the way she does.:P**

**Guest-Thank you!**

**On to the story!:)**

"Elsa, what d'you want for breakfast? We've got, uh…cereal and chocolate down here. That's it," Anna said. "Wait, what kind of choice is that?! Chocolate, of course!"

Elsa giggled, then clapped her hand over her mouth. Would their parents get mad at her for sharing a joke with Anna? "Chocolate, please," she said politely.

"You two cannot have chocolate for breakfast," Idun scolded. "I think you're addicted to it. Chocolate disappears out of the kitchen so fast you'd think there are ten princesses in the castle instead of two!"

Elsa and Anna exchanged guilty, knowing glances from the opposite wall as they sat in separate corners. Anna had come up with a compromise (which she thought was lame to her and Elsa): she and Elsa could have this half of the cellar to themselves, but they had to stay in their respective corners. This was just fine with Elsa; all she wanted was to talk to Anna in the first place anyways.

"Uh…we're growing girls and need some sugar strength!" Anna announced.

Elsa couldn't hold in her giggles this time. "You're on a sugar high if you really believe that!" she told her sister.

"I am always on a sugar high," Anna responded in a serious voice. "Mom, I'm not eating that cereal!" she added as Idun brought her a bowl of cereal. "It's that icky plain wheat kind!"

"_A-a-nna's a-always on a sugar hi-i-igh!"_ Elsa sang in a silly voice on purpose. She tensed up for a moment when her mother set a bowl of cereal beside her. _Too close… _(Elsa had no intentions of eating it any more than Anna did. She didn't like it either.)

Anna laughed and pretended to clap her hands over her ears at Elsa's goofy song.

_"Especially when cho-o-colate's ni-i-igh!"_ Elsa added another line to her song.

Now Anna joined in with, _"Super A-a-nna and Super Elsa-a must fetch the choc'late from where it li-ie!"_

_ "A-a-nna's offended the Grammar Queen and made her di-ie!"_ Elsa replied, barely able to sing through her held-in giggles.

Anna made a face at Elsa and stuck out her tongue. "I couldn't come up with proper grammar for a rhyme."

"Elsa will come up with one every time," Elsa replied with a slight smirk. _I like the rhyme game…I'm good at it!_

Anna was a bit irritated with Elsa's quick rhyming replies, but she was very, very happy that Elsa didn't seem particularly scared or upset anymore. She could see a shadow of the mischievous, happy little girl Elsa had been years before. Anna recognized that sassy little smirk on her sister's face. It meant Elsa had just done or said something she was quite pleased with herself about. _I hope the hurricane lasts for days and days so I can help Elsa be happy._ "You're silly-go eat a lime," Anna came up with.

Elsa giggled. "I can't do that; I'm being a mime," she replied, and acted out eating a lime and thinking it was sour.

* * *

><p>"Let's stop all the racket, shall we?" Agdar asked as he came down the ladder into the cellar. "The storm is over, so we can all head back upstairs."<p>

Elsa's face fell. _I'm actually having fun with Anna right now…and wait! That hurricane isn't over!_ Elsa closed her eyes, thinking hard about the storm. She wasn't sure why she was absolutely certain the storm wasn't over, but she knew it wasn't. _Actually, I know exactly what it is. Hurricanes are like a swirling circle with a calm center in the middle-the eye. The first half of the storm bands are over, and the eye of the storm is over Arendelle now._

Anna looked with concern over at Elsa. The smirk and giggles had disappeared, leaving behind a disappointed Elsa who was evidently thinking hard about something. "Elsa, what are you thinking about?"

Elsa glanced at Anna. "Storm's not over," she muttered.

"Hey, Mom, Dad, Elsa says the storm's not over! So that means we can stay down here longer!" Anna announced.

"She said _what_?"

Elsa flinched and made herself as small as possible in the corner. _Why did I tell Anna that? Now I'm going to get in trouble for 'predicting a storm' again, even though this time it was mostly scientific deduction, not my powers._

"She said the storm's not over," Anna repeated. "So we can stay down here together longer!"

"Elsa, did you say that?"

Elsa slowly got to her feet and looked her father straight in the face. "Yes, I did. It's a hurricane, and right now the eye of the storm is passing over us. I _know_ that's what it is. Please believe me…"

"How do you know this?"

"Because of this." Elsa quickly scribbled out a rough sketch of what she was talking about on the paper she'd brought down with her. "See? There are, like, storm bands, then the center is calm, and then another set of storm bands. _Then_ the hurricane is over." _I can't be any more logical than that._ Elsa gazed hopefully at her father as she held out her sketch.

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Makes sense to me," Anna said, quick to defend Elsa. "Hey, she's _definitely_ right…" Anna added as a loud crash of thunder reverberated loud enough that it reached their ears in the cellar.

Elsa sighed in relief. That thunder proved she was correct, thank goodness. She sat back down in the corner; then immediately jumped up and grabbed her book and blankets. "Um, everyone…? I think the walls are leaking…"

Elsa was right. There was a puddle of water seeping onto the floor through a seam in the wall.

"All right, we'll have to put a bucket there," Agdar said.

"W-where do I go?" Elsa asked hesitantly. "That was _my_ corner that's leaking." _Back upstairs? The dungeon?_

"You can share my corner," Anna offered instantly.

Elsa looked sadly at Anna and shook her head. "I can't…I wish I could, but it's not safe."

Anna frowned at her. _Why does Elsa keep saying that? _"Well…I promise I won't touch you if you don't want me to. You could still sit over here anyways."

Elsa hesitated. _Could_ she do that? She believed Anna when she said she wouldn't touch her, but still… Elsa made her decision. She had just started walking over to Anna when she heard a warning, "Elsa, you know you shouldn't do that," from behind her. Something inside Elsa made her turn around and say with great certainty, "I'm fine right now. I won't touch Anna, and she won't touch me. But there is nowhere for me to go anyway, so I'm staying put." _I really am fine. I'm not out of control right now. _Then she turned back toward Anna and gave her a hesitant smile.

Anna gave her a welcoming smile, scooted over, and then patted the floor beside her. _You're welcome here, Elsa. You don't have to question whether it's ok with me to come over here or not._

Elsa set her things on the floor a few feet from Anna. She still didn't feel at all comfortable being close to her sister, but Anna's happy smile told her that she _was_ welcome here. Anna didn't care that her sister acted odd and switched moods constantly. She was willing to accept Elsa just the way she was, even if she didn't want to be touched for seemingly no reason, even after she shut Anna out for so long. Elsa still was a bit afraid that Anna would be scared of her or dislike her if she knew what Elsa's real problem was; but right now, Elsa wasn't going to concern herself about it. She'd worry about that later. Right now, she would savor every moment she had with Anna. _Because the second the hurricane is over, everything will be back the way it was._

* * *

><p>"Elsa, what book did you bring down here with you?" Anna asked a few minutes later.<p>

Elsa glanced across the cellar at their parents, but they weren't paying the girls any mind. They were talking about something. "I remembered you liked fairy tales when we were little, so I…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"So you brought one down," Anna finished happily. "I thought you didn't like most fairy tales 'cause they were 'mushy'!"

"That would be correct," Elsa replied. "Could I…could I read you a story like when we were little?" she whispered. "I'll understand if you don't want me to since we're not little kids anymore."

"Are you kidding me?! I'd love it if you did that! But I have a better idea-why don't we act out the story? We did that a couple times when we were little, and it was so much fun," Anna said. "Can we do 'Sleeping Beauty'? That one's my favorite!"

"It was your favorite when we were little, too. And sure, that sounds like fun," Elsa agreed. _You're awesome, Anna. I'm so glad you're willing to play with me._

"Which character d'you wanna play?"

"The evil fairy," Elsa replied immediately.

"O-o-ok…I don't mind, but Elsa, why did you pick her?" Anna asked curiously.

Elsa turned her gaze away from Anna. "Because she suits me best. You can play the prince and kill the evil fairy."

_What the…?! _"Elsa, let's get one thing straight right this second. You can play the evil fairy if you want to, but you are _not_ anything like her. You don't go around cackling and casting curses on people who didn't do anything to you." Something else popped into Anna's mind. Did this have anything to do with Elsa calling herself a freak and a monster? Anna didn't dare ask her sister that, but there was _no way _she was letting Elsa play the villain when Elsa already thought rotten things about herself. Nor was she going to act out killing Elsa's character in their game. "Why don't you play the nice fairies instead?" Anna suggested.

Elsa had her arms crossed around her middle, hugging herself as she looked down at the floor. _I might as well have put a curse on someone who didn't do anything to me. I hit Anna with my powers and almost killed her! I've got a curse inside me… _The logical part of Elsa's mind prodded her into remembering that her last thought wasn't true, though. _My powers aren't a curse. I feel like they are, but they're _not_. I was simply born that way. I still wish I could be normal…_

"Elsa? Are you all right?" Anna asked. _Ok, so that was a dumb question. She doesn't look all right._

Elsa's pensive expression disappeared and was replaced with a neutral one a moment later. "I will be fine," she said, trying to convince both herself and Anna that it was true. _You'd better be fine, Elsa, because you are _not_ going to lose control down here and risk hurting Anna._

Anna frowned at her, knowing she was trying to cover up her real feelings again. "Elsa…you don't have to conceal your emotions around me." Then she added in a whisper, "I won't tell Mom and Dad anything if you don't want me to."

"It's not that…" Elsa gave Anna a sad smile. "It's just…just…" _I lose control when I get emotional. What's wrong with me that I can't control something that's literally part of me? _"Anna…I don't know what to say. I don't know what's wrong with me…"

"You don't know what's wrong with you because there isn't anything wrong with you in the first place," Anna said firmly.

"Yes, there is," Elsa whispered as she sat down on the floor and pulled her knees to her chest again. "I've ignored you for so long; I act weird and unpredictable; I'm dangerous; I have odd habits" she held one gloved hand out to Anna "and I've got i-" Elsa's eyes grew big when she realized what she had been just about to tell her sister. _Shut up, Elsa. You almost told Anna that YOU HAVE ICE POWERS YOU CAN'T CONTROL! How could you do that?!_ Elsa flicked her eyes toward their parents, hoping beyond hope that they hadn't heard what she had said (or started to say). _Thank goodness. They're still talking about something._

Anna gave Elsa a quizzical look. "You've got what?" she asked curiously. _I-what? What could Elsa be talking about?_

"N-nothing…I can't tell you…" Elsa said quietly.

Anna made a face. "Well…ok. Anyhow, you are not dangerous. And Elsa, I don't care if you act weird and unpredictable or have odd habits. You're still my super awesome and sweet older sister, no matter what. _Everyone_ has funny little quirks of one kind or another. They're what help make us, well, _us_." _Except wearing gloves all the time and randomly changing feelings that you then try to cover up aren't _Elsa_ quirks. Something's happened to her that makes her act like that…I wish I knew what it was so I could help her fix it and get back to her old happy self._

_But I don't want uncontrollable ice powers to be part of what makes me _me_. I just want to be normal so I can be around Anna without being terrified I'm going to hurt her every second._ "I hate myself then," Elsa replied in a detached voice. "I don't like my 'funny little quirks'. _Any_ of them. I don't even let my own sister hug me, for goodness sakes." Elsa covered her face with her hands and didn't say anything more.

* * *

><p>Anna argued with herself for a minute before going over to Elsa, kneeling in front of her, and pulling Elsa's hands away from her face and holding them tightly. Elsa jumped at the unexpected contact and stared in surprise and terror at Anna. <em>Anna, you've gotta let go of me! It's not safe! I'm going to end up hurting you again!<em> She started trying to pull her hands away from Anna, but stopped when she felt one of her gloves slipping off.

"Elsa, stop it. You're fine. See, I'm holding your hands and you aren't hurting me. You aren't dangerous," Anna said, trying to calm her sister down.

"You don't understand, Anna! _Please_ let me go and don't touch me anymore!" Elsa whispered frantically as her blue eyes began to fill with tears. "You _promised_! You said you wouldn't touch me!" _I shouldn't have believed Anna when she said she wouldn't touch me. Anna's still too impulsive. She's trying to help, but she's just plain not._

Anna caught the slight edge of betrayal in her sister's voice and quickly released her hands. _I did tell Elsa that. I went back on my word. _"I'm really sorry, Elsa. I was just trying to help…"

_I know you were._ Elsa dropped her gaze away from Anna and didn't say anything. _Now I've made Anna apologize for something that shouldn't have been a problem in the first place._

"Elsa, I really am sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset."

Elsa just nodded to acknowledge Anna. "It's okay, Anna…and the worst part is that I really do want a hug. I just c-can't give y-you one…" _Emotions on lockdown. Conceal don't feel._

Anna frowned. _What is that supposed to mean?_ "Well, then…if you can't give me one, then I'm gonna give you one. Yes, I lied," she said, making sure to acknowledge the fact that yes, she had told Elsa she wouldn't touch her, but she was going to give her sister a hug anyway.

Elsa shrank back against the wall, but she couldn't make herself move away completely. She knew it was selfish to let Anna do that, but inside she was _dying_ for her sister's hug. _Move, Elsa. You can't let Anna do that! Not safe. Not safe. Not safe._ Elsa felt her sister's arms around her shoulders, and she tensed up all over. _Make Anna stop! Elsa. Get. Anna. Away. From. You. Now!_

"You're ok, Elsa. I got you," Anna said, happy that at least Elsa hadn't moved away from her, even if she was all tense and stiff as a board.

Anna didn't know it, but those words struck a nerve in Elsa. _The accident! I said that after I hit Anna! I have to get out of here! I _hurt_ her! What on earth am I thinking to let Anna be this close to me?!_ "Anna, get away from me! I'm just going to hurt you! It's not safe!" Elsa almost shouted, trying to push Anna away from her. She immediately regretted being so loud when she realized she had caught their parents' attention. "Oh, no…"

"Oh no what?" Anna asked, keeping one arm firmly wrapped around her sister and turning to see what Elsa was looking at. "Oh…" _Now what have I done? I've probably gotten Elsa in awful trouble…_ Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before standing up and saying, "Don't you _dare_ get mad at Elsa. I-"

But their parents weren't paying Anna any mind. "Elsa, what have you done? You know you're not supposed to be around Anna anyway, and there you two were hugging each other a second ago."

* * *

><p>Elsa slowly got to her feet and clasped her hands behind her back, but she didn't say anything. She felt herself starting to replay the accident from when they were little in her head, and tried her hardest to shut it off. <em>No, Elsa. You are <em>not_ having a stupid flashback right now. I know letting Anna hug me was stupid. I know I'm guilty. Just please leave me alone._

"I hugged Elsa, not the other way around," Anna said quickly. "In fact, she really didn't hug me at all." Anna stepped into a protective stance with her hands on her hips on front of Elsa. _Mom and Dad can get mad at me this time. Elsa doesn't need to get fussed at for absolutely nothing. She's got enough issues dealing with…whatever it is that's bothering her._

"Elsa, I think we need to take a trip downstairs."

"_No._ I'll just go back up to my room first," Elsa said. She considered complaining about the euphemism again; then changed her mind, not wanting to stick Anna with any weird, disturbing information about the whole thing.

"You can't go back upstairs to your room until the hurricane is over."

Elsa sighed. _True. I almost wish I could go back to my room and just get blown away by the storm…_ "Okay." _I'm going to go crazy if I have to stay down there. What if they don't let me out when the hurricane is over?_

Anna looked from Elsa to her parents and back again in puzzlement. What in the world were they talking about? "Where are you taking Elsa? We're already downstairs. Is there another cellar I don't know about?"

"You don't want to know," Elsa muttered. "Goodbye, Anna…"

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon:)**

**Special note to ElsaIsAmazing: I got your idea incorporated into the next chapter without veering way out of canon.:) YAY:P Hopefully it'll be like you wanted!:)**


	20. Downstairs-That's a Euphemism Alert

**(EDITED FOR SPACING ISSUES:P My apologies for forgetting to put in line breaks:))**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**AnacToria Sky-Yeah, but Elsa thinks it's just a regular cell...and I'm keeping it that way:P**

**bananas-rule-2015-That actually IS happening in this chapter...:/ Hmm, I think I'm going to call this chapter something besides 'Hurricane Part Blahblahblah', so I guess the hurricane series is over:)**

**Guest-Congrats for catching my (probably bad) foreshadowing on that:P Yep, that will definitely be an important piece in the story. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!:)**

**Fatten Saad-Lol, yes, I will kill them off in either the next chapter or the one after.;) Glad you like my writing:)**

**brunetti33-Well, I'm flattered that you like my story enough to want longer chapters, but I can't guarantee that they'll be longer:P (I split the chapters up as I see fit as I go along, so some end up way longer than others...;)) PS Since I want to keep this in canon, Anna will find out about Elsa's powers when she does in the movie. Cool idea though...*files idea away for future AU story*:) Your writing's fine:)**

**On to the story!:) Get ready for lots of depressing feels:/**

Elsa reluctantly followed her father out of the cellar. "Elsa, it's just till the hurricane is over," Agdar said.

Elsa frowned, but she didn't reply. _Great. Not. I hope the hurricane ends as soon as possible. I don't want to stay down there._

When they arrived in front of a certain dungeon cell, Agdar opened the door and Elsa stepped inside without a word. _I will not cry. I won't. I'm not going to break down. You can't make me._ Elsa stepped over to the latticed window, then turned back a moment later when she heard a suspicious rattling sound. She immediately knew what was going on. _Why, Dad? Why? You're going to chain me up down here…I wasn't going to leave. That's not fair. It's not. You didn't even give me a chance, to just ask me if I'd stay here without a fuss. I'm no liar. I wouldn't have lied about that._ Elsa just stood and said nothing as the shackles clamped over her hands and wrists. She would not cry. She wouldn't. _Conceal, don't feel. Just get out of here and leave me alone, all right?_

"Just until the hurricane is over."

Elsa bit her lip and turned her back on him. _It better be. But I don't trust you. What if you change your mind and leave me here longer?_ She heard the door lock, and she plopped down on the bench against the wall, wishing she were anywhere but here.

* * *

><p>Anna mulled it over while their dad took Elsa <em>somewhere<em>-Anna didn't know where-and came back. _Ok, it's "downstairs"; Elsa would rather go back to her room; she said I didn't want to know what it was; and there are no other cellars in the castle. At least I don't think so…wait a second! Dad wasn't talking about the _dungeon,_ was he?! _That was the only logical solution she could come up with, but it was horrible and creepy. Something told Anna that was _exactly_ where Elsa was, but she still didn't want to accept the fact. _Elsa doesn't deserve that. She needs someone to understand her and be her friend, not lock her up for no reason._

"So, Dad," Anna said casually when he came back, "why did you put MY SISTER in the dungeon?" Then, "ELSA DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!" she exploded.

"Elsa isn't in the dungeon."

Anna crossed her arms. "Then it's totally ok if I just go down there and look, right?" She actually didn't want to get anywhere _near_ the dungeon-it had creeped her out when she was little-but she'd go down there if Elsa was there.

"All right, Anna…Elsa is down there, but there isn't any other place in the castle that's safe during a hurricane."

"What was wrong with Elsa being _right here_?!" Anna wailed. "It's not enough that you guys have made her scared of her own shadow practically, and make her stay in her room all the time…you went and put _my sister, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle,_ in the dungeon! How could you do that to her?!" Struck by an idea, Anna added, "If Elsa's gotta stay down there, can I go down there and stay with her?" _Elsa's gotta be miserable down there. Maybe I could try to make her feel better…_

"No, Anna, you can't. It's not safe."

"I wish Elsa was queen of Arendelle already and locked you down there instead," Anna muttered angrily.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, I WISH ELSA WAS QUEEN OF ARENDELLE ALREADY AND LOCKED YOU DOWN THERE INSTEAD!" Anna shouted, not caring in the least how rude she sounded.

"Anna, be reasonable…"

"I _am_ being reasonable! Why would you lock a seventeen-year-old girl, who also happens to be your own kid, in the dungeon?! It's horrid! _SHE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! _I mean, how would _you_ feel if you were in Elsa's place? She probably feels hurt and abandoned. _How could you do that to her?!_" Anna did her best not to yell, remain reasonable, and give logical arguments. She was successful in being reasonable and giving logical arguments…but not yelling? Eh, not so much. "Elsa should've made a huge stink about going down there, but noooo; she wants to please you, so she went along with it!" _Either that or she was too scared to do anything…_

"She went along with it because she knew it was the right thing to do."

"No. It is NOT. She should have made a humongous fuss and insisted it was unfair and stupid," Anna said firmly. Another thought popped into her head, "Dad, you didn't…chain Elsa up too, did you?" The thought made Anna sick, but she asked the question anyway. _I've gotta find a way to talk to Elsa after the hurricane is over. To tell her what happened to her was wrong and unfair. She probably thinks she deserves it, after what I heard her call herself last night… And this is partly my fault-if I hadn't tried to hug her, she wouldn't have freaked out and gotten in trouble._

The absence of a response told Anna that her worst suspicions were true. Anna's eyes filled with tears as she thought about Elsa chained up in the dungeon alone, with no one to talk to or to let her out. "_How could you do that to her?!_" Anna screeched. "That's just plain _hateful_! You left Elsa chained up in the dungeon, AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! I'm the one that hugged her! She didn't hug me! Not that hugging was wrong in the first place, but anyways…that's not the point! All Elsa wanted was someone to really, truly care about her for once-even if she didn't really admit it out loud. And did you guys understand that?! No, you didn't! You just shot her down again! Elsa already thinks she's dangerous and a monster and a freak. And THIS sort of thing is why! You've _hurt_ her! Not physically, but on the inside. She's going to snap eventually, whether it's by getting super mad and revengeful, or going completely crazy. I don't know for sure since I'm a kid too, but I think Elsa's already depressed. She needs _help_, not you guys mistreating her. And Elsa is _my_ sister, and I'm never, ever gonna stop trying to stick up for her. If she's not going to stand up for herself, then I'm going to do it for her." _This sort of thing is also why Elsa thinks she's not worth spending time with. What is she supposed to think when her own parents put her in the dungeon? I _have_ to find a way to help Elsa. I've got to!_

* * *

><p>'Downstairs', Elsa sat slumped on the bench in the cell she was locked in and examined the shackles that bound her hands. Maybe she could get them off. <em>I won't go back upstairs; I'll stay here like I'm supposed to; but I want those horrid things off me. <em>They pinched her wrists; they were heavy; and the whole situation made her feel sick. _I know I'm abnormal and a freak and I hurt Anna, but I do _not_ deserve this. Dad's wrong this time. I should have just gotten sent down here and left it at that. I didn't have to be chained up besides._ Now she wished she had made more of a protest when those things were put on her, but no; she'd just stood there in a sort of daze and said absolutely nothing. _That was stupid. Why did I do that?_

Elsa stood up and started yanking on the chains, but they wouldn't budge. _I can freeze the lock open off my door, so maybe I can just do that…_ The only trouble was that this metal was definitely much stronger and thicker than the metal on her door's lock. Still, she had nothing to lose, so she went ahead and attempted to break the shackles open. Fifteen minutes later, the only things Elsa had gotten out of her efforts were sore arms from yanking and pulling, and a sharp piece of ice jabbing her hand inside one of the shackles. _Great, just great. I guess I'll just have to wait for that ice to melt, if it melts at all since it's sitting right on my skin…_ Elsa walked as close to the latticed window as the chains would let her and stared outside. It was still raining hard, and she could see leaves, small branches, and shingles flying through the air. The fjord water also appeared higher than usual. It crossed her mind that it was probably not safe to stand so close to the window, but right now, she didn't particularly care. There was nothing to do in there, nothing to entertain her except her own dejected thoughts. _Which is not a good thing. Leave Elsa alone with her thoughts and she's going to go batty eventually. Okay, Elsa, STOP THINKING. Zone out. Make yourself be anywhere but here._

'Anywhere but here' turned out to be daydreaming about playing on the North Mountain with Anna. _Anna, I miss you. Why did I try to push you away like that in the cellar? If I hadn't been so noisy, I wouldn't have ended up here…it doesn't matter what I do. I tried to do the unselfish thing and get Anna away from me and I still got in trouble. Anna tried to explain what happened and they wouldn't even listen! It's not fair. And I want these stupid things off me-now!_ Elsa began pulling against the chains again, but it was useless. They were stuck, and they'd stay stuck until someone took them off for her. The sharp piece of ice was still poking her hand, and it hurt. She tried wiggling her fingers around to dislodge it, but that didn't work either. "I want out of here!" Elsa almost shouted. _What if I get left down here forever? What would I do? Maybe Anna would find me eventually._

Elsa curled up on the bench and finally let herself cry. Who cared if she lost control down here; there was no one to see it. She felt lonely and depressed, and very, very isolated. _I want Anna back. At least she doesn't make me feel horrible about myself, even if she doesn't know my real problem. What would Anna say if she knew I had ice powers I couldn't control? That I hurt her when she was five? Would she understand or would she be scared of me or hate me? She should hate me…I don't deserve all her understanding words. Still-she made me happy again, at least for a little while. I _have_ to figure out how to control it; I have to; I have to! Then I can have Anna back. I know I can't get rid of my powers, and that's the only other solution. I'd rather be normal so I don't have to worry about this…_

Elsa managed to fall asleep that night, but she kept waking up and shifting uncomfortably. Her hands felt stiff and sore, and she couldn't do anything about it. _Whenever I get out of here, if I get out of here, I'm making it perfectly clear that I will not come down here again without making a fuss. This stinks, and I'm still…hurt that Mom and Dad made me come down here in the first place._ The only good thing about being unable to sleep properly was that she didn't have to deal with bad dreams. _That's a good thing, I guess, right?_

* * *

><p>The next morning, Elsa was very pleased to see that the hurricane seemed to be over. It was still overcast and cloudy, but the rain had stopped. Elsa closed her eyes and thought hard. <em>Yes, the storm is over. I know it is. Okay, somebody, anybody, come down here and let me out. I'll go back to my room like I'm supposed to. I just want out of here.<em>

Just as she was thinking that she might start making lots of noise to try to get someone to come, Elsa heard a quick knock on the door and the key in the lock; then Gerda appeared in the doorway. "I was starting to think nobody was going to come…" Elsa's voice trailed off.

"If you'll pardon me for saying so, your parents had no right to put you down here, Princess Elsa," Gerda said, looking at Elsa with concern. _She probably hardly slept last night…_ Elsa looked tired and upset, and she had dark circles under her eyes.

Elsa gave Gerda a small smile. "Do stop worrying about me and just take these heavy things off," she said, holding up her shackled hands.

"Of course, princess." Gerda found the key and quickly released Elsa's hands. "Princess Elsa, what is that?" she asked, eying the raw blister on Elsa's hand.

Elsa glanced at the sore spot and winced as she tried to get her hands to stop cramping up. "I tried to freeze the shackles off and it didn't work. There was this piece of ice poking me all night," she muttered. _It should have melted, but I guess it didn't since it was in direct contact with me the whole time. _"I wasn't going to go back to the cellar; I was going to stay here…I just wanted those things off," Elsa added quickly.

Gerda frowned, but didn't say anything. "Let's just get you out of here now; shall we?"

Elsa was only too glad to go along with that. She gave one of the shackles a kick as she headed out of the cell. "Thank you for coming to let me out, Gerda." _I hate that place. I never, ever want to come down here again._

Elsa was surprised to see Anna waiting for her at the top of the steps leading out of the dungeon. "How did you know where I was, Anna?" she asked.

"Oh, I figured it out pretty quickly. Elsa…I'm really, really sorry…if I'd kept my word and didn't hug you, you wouldn't have gotten scared and got in trouble," Anna apologized.

"Don't apologize, Anna. It wasn't your fault," Elsa assured her. "It was probably bound to happen anyways…" Elsa suddenly realized her hands were bare, and she clasped them behind her back, out of sight; but not before Anna noticed the blister on Elsa's hand.

"Elsa…is that blister from what I think it's from?" Anna asked.

"And what do you think it's from? If you thought from being chained up since around lunchtime yesterday, you'd be correct," Elsa said flatly. _Anna already knows I was down there, so it's not a super big deal that I told her that, right?_

Anna made a face. "That's what I thought…Elsa, did you sleep at all last night?" _Did Elsa even eat anything all that time…? I bet she didn't. How could she with her hands chained up?_

"A little…Anna, I'd better go…" Elsa replied. _I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to get sent down there again, either._ She turned away from Anna and started heading toward the main staircase.

"Elsa, wait. Lemme just tell you something first," Anna said quickly. She ran in front of Elsa, who immediately stopped in her tracks and didn't reply.

_Make it quick, Anna,_ Elsa thought._ Before I lose control. I have to go to my room and find some gloves._

"I'll make it quick. I just wanted to tell you that you did _nothing_ wrong. You did _not_ deserve to get sent down there, Elsa," Anna said all in a rush.

"I…didn't?" Elsa asked, sounding as if she weren't sure herself. _Yes you did. You risked hurting Anna by letting her hug you._

"No, Elsa, you most definitely did not. You need somebody to be your friend, no matter what. And I'm gonna be that friend for you. Forever and always."

Elsa's eyes welled with tears, and she took off up the stairs as fast as she could go, hoping she wasn't leaving icy footprints behind her. _Conceal, don't feel. Emotions on lockdown. Control it, Elsa! At least till you get in your room._ Elsa darted into her room, shut the door, and immediately iced it shut. _Anna…Anna…she said she was _my_ friend. _My_ friend! Why didn't I even just tell her thank you before I ran off? _She scrambled to find a pair of gloves in her dresser, her bare fingertips icing every surface she touched. _Elsa, stop it! You're making a mess!_ "I know! I didn't do it on purpose!" Elsa finally found what she was looking for, and yanked the gloves on her hands; then promptly took the one on the hand with the blister off again. _Ouch. That hurt. What am I supposed to do now?_ She flopped on her bed, holding her bare hand to her chest in an effort to keep from making another icy mess. _I thought I was sick of this room, but now I'm happy to be back in here after being in the dungeon half a day and all night. At least I'm not chained up in here, and I have books to read, and I can draw blueprints if I want to. The only thing missing is Anna…_

* * *

><p>Anna stood at the bottom of the stairs, wondering what she could have possibly said to Elsa that made her run off like that. "Gerda, what'd I say wrong? I just told Elsa I was always gonna be her friend…and she ran away!"<p>

"You didn't say anything wrong, princess. She's just overwhelmed. You have to remember Princess Elsa just spent an entire night chained in the dungeon. Then you come along and tell her you'll always be her friend. How would you feel if you were in your sister's place?"

Anna balled her hands into angry fists. "I would've made a huge fuss and screamed and yelled all night. You'd have to knock me out before I'd go down there! And just say I _did_ get locked down there somehow…you can be sure I'd make it crystal clear that it was _stupid_ and_ unfair_ and _ridiculous_!"

Gerda sighed. "All right, Princess Anna, that might be what you would do, but you and your sister aren't the same person. She isn't going to react the same way you do…"

"You mean because Elsa's…hurting inside? Is that why she didn't make a fuss about going down there?" Anna asked. _Elsa needs someone to help her…and she feels like she can't let anyone do so. What am I supposed to do?!_ "Gerda…is Elsa depressed?" Something told Anna that her sister most definitely was, but she was still hoping her hunch was wrong.

"Princess Anna, I am not a doctor, but I would have to say yes. She's-"

"Then I'm gonna help her," Anna interrupted. _I just don't know how. _"And Gerda, she calls herself rotten names! Why does Elsa do that? _I_ think it's 'cause she's gotten brainwashed! I mean, what is she supposed to think when people who are supposed to love and take care of her go and chain her in the dungeon all night?! I want to help Elsa, but I don't know how!"

"Princess, just keep letting her know that you're there for her. That's all you can do right now."

Anna bit her lip, thinking. "Do you think Elsa might like it if I sang a song in front of her door at night before I go to bed myself?"

"Maybe you should stick with pushing notes under her door. You're apt to get yourself in trouble if you do much else…"

"All righty…I'm on a mission now! And it's called Operation Make Elsa Happy." Anna took off up the stairs and paused in front of Elsa's door.

* * *

><p>Inside her room, Elsa still just lay sprawled flat on her bed, clutching her bare hand to her chest and staring blankly at the ceiling. Elsa was just realizing that she was hungry when she heard Anna's signature knock on the door.<p>

"Don't answer, Elsa, 'cause I don't want you to get in trouble again. I know you're depressed, and I'm gonna help. I love you, Elsa." Then Anna's footsteps faded away down the hall, and Elsa was left feeling slightly happier but also rather puzzled. _Did I really just hear Anna tell me _not_ to answer her? Usually she talks and talks for ages, and tries to get me to reply. She sounds…different, somehow. Determined or something._ Elsa pulled an apple out of her stash of food and started eating it as she continued mulling over what Anna had said to her.

* * *

><p>That afternoon, Anna paused in front of Elsa's door again, making sure no one was around to see her. Then she knocked again.<p>

Elsa smiled on the other side of the door. _It's Anna again…just please don't start asking me to reply again. I can't._

"I love you, Elsa. I'll be out here for you whenever you're ready. Bye, Elsa." Anna continued on her way downstairs without saying anything more.

_Anna, I…I don't know what to say. I don't know what you're doing, but it sure is nice to hear your voice without being asked to reply, since I can't do that,_ Elsa thought. _Someday I _will_ be able to repay you for being so nice to me. Someday. It might be years and years or not even here on this earth, but I _will_ repay you. You deserve it._

_**A/N: Next chapter coming soon:)**_


	21. Storm Sense Isn't Always a Good Thing

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-Is the 'strong emotion' thing a good thing? I don't want to be melodramatic...:P Anyway...yeah, if I was Elsa, I'd freeze Agdar's butt or his feet tooXD**

**Angela3000-Yay!:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-I agree. Anna is DEFINITELY underestimated.:)**

**ElsaIsAmazing-You are quite welcome!:) I'm glad you liked the way it came out. (Turns out your idea was double good because it moved the plot along for this chapter very nicely;)) Argh, I don't want to make my readers cry...then again, I guess it's good I made you feel bad for Elsa and Anna.:/ Thank you:)**

**olaf99-I know; I never expected to get this many reviews!:) (I wasn't sure how unique my plot line was...:P) Cool! Thank you:)**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Definitely a jerk:/ Yeah, Anna is awesome:)**

**On to the story!:) (I do apologize to everyone who can't wait for the shipwreck at sea, but this chapter got way too long as it is.:P So...that's in the next chapter. Promise.:))**

As summer turned into fall and then winter, Anna continued knocking on Elsa's door and just saying a few sentences before walking away. "You aren't worthless, Elsa. You're worth more than…um, I dunno, ohh, I know, all the gold in the world! Yeah! You're my super awesome sister and I love you. Bye, Elsa," Anna said one cold day in December before Christmas.

Elsa smiled and let out a small giggle on the other side of the door. _Well, I don't believe you, but that sure was funny, Anna._

Anna stopped in her tracks in the hall. Had she just heard Elsa giggle from inside her room? She considered going back and talking to Elsa some more to see if she would reply, but decided against it. _I'm sticking with my plan. And that means I don't try to make Elsa talk and end up making her feel bad for not replying._ Anna forced herself to continue down the hall. _Still, I made her giggle, at least for a minute. That means my plan's finally starting to work! Yay! And that's the first audible reaction I've gotten out of her, too._

* * *

><p>Elsa still hadn't quite figured out what Anna was up to, even though it had been several months since the hurricane now. But the New Anna that would simply just say a short something to her without trying to get her to reply was a welcome change. Elsa had hated listening to Anna talking to her and asking her questions and trying to get her to participate in a conversation. It made her feel horrible inside because she was ignoring Anna, who had <em>never<em> done anything to Elsa to make her ignore Anna. _What Anna's doing now, how she just 'drops a line' without expecting a reply, actually makes me feel a bit happier. The only thing is…I _should_ be replying to her. She deserves it…_

* * *

><p>On Anna's birthday a few days later, Elsa reread the letter she'd written for Anna. <em>"Dear Anna, I have no idea what exactly you're up to, but I really, really appreciate you talking to me without trying to get me to answer<em>..._it makes me a bit happier than I would be otherwise. You're awesome. Remember how you told me I was worth more than all the gold in the world a few days ago? You're wrong. _YOU'RE _the one who's worth more than all the gold in the world, not me. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, but I can't. Promise me you'll never be anything but yourself, okay? Because just plain you is amazing. Happy birthday, Princess Anna of Arendelle…You're fourteen now! Your very grateful sister, Elsa." _She waited until she was sure Anna would be awake and out of her room. Then she slipped into the secret passages holding the letter, and quickly made her way to Anna's room. Elsa pressed her ear to the secret entrance into her sister's room, just in case, before darting inside and leaving the letter under her sister's pillow. Elsa slipped back into the secret passages and went back to her own room. _I can't wait till Anna gets it. That's _my _present to her, although it's more of a thank-you than anything else._

* * *

><p>When Anna found Elsa's letter that night when she climbed into bed, she squealed in delight. <em>"I finally got a reply from Elsa!"<em> she whisper-screamed happily. Anna's mission was starting to shape up nicely. Elsa must be happier or she wouldn't have replied. It crossed Anna's mind that it was awfully odd how Elsa's letter had mysteriously just appeared in her room, but she didn't care. Anna was just getting ready to read Elsa's letter when she heard a knock on her door. Anna froze for a moment before putting the letter inside her nightgown and diving under the covers. _There. Nothing suspicious here…uh-uh!_ "Who is it?"

"What on earth were you squealing about?" Anna heard her father ask.

"Uh…I tripped and almost fell," Anna fibbed. She was _not_ getting Elsa in trouble again. Not after what happened last time. _Poor Elsa got sent to the dungeon last time. That is NOT happening again. Just…no. _She'd lie forever and a day if it got her sister off the hook.

"Are you all right?"

"Yep, perfectly fine." Anna let out an overdone yawn. "I'm _reaallly _sleepy…g'night…" Anna sighed in relief when the footsteps faded away down the hall. Then Anna hopped out of bed, locked her door, and finally, _finally_ opened her sister's letter. Anna had been extremely happy that Elsa had given her something; but now as she actually read what her sister had written, she started frowning. _I haven't helped Elsa at all. She still thinks she's not worth talking to…at least she says she's a bit happier anyways…_ "Thanks for sending me a reply anyhow, Elsa," Anna whispered. "I _will_ keep talking to you. I _will_ make you happy. And nothing can stop me."

* * *

><p>Anna soon discovered, though, that there <em>was<em> something that could stop her. She got caught talking to Elsa in the hall one day in January, which was made all the more ironic because although Anna didn't know it, Elsa wasn't even in her room at that moment. She was somewhere in the secret passages. Anna managed to get Elsa off the hook by saying that Elsa had not said one word to her in reply, but Anna's mission was ruined. It seemed like there was _always_ someone following her around the castle now, and she didn't dare try talking to Elsa again because was somehow a hundred percent certain that Elsa would be the one blamed next time.

* * *

><p>With no explanation for why Anna didn't say anything to her anymore, Elsa just figured that Anna had given up on her. Elsa grew less and less hopeful that Anna's silence was a temporary thing as the weeks went by. By springtime, Elsa had reconciled herself to the knowledge that Anna must have moved on. <em>You can't be upset, Elsa. She had been fussing with you for nine years. Anna should have moved on long time ago. She did what she should have done in the first place. <em>

"I still miss her," Elsa whispered. "She was the only one who didn't…treat me like…like something you just deal with because you can't throw it away."_ I didn't deserve someone like her in the first place. I'm dangerous and I hurt Anna. She _should_ ignore me…_ Still, Elsa's already pained heart was crushed that Anna had seemingly abandoned her. She wanted Anna back, even just her voice that floated into the room from out in the hall. _I can't lose my head. I still have future responsibilities to be the queen of Arendelle eventually. _That was the _only_ thing that kept her going now. Elsa had lost her one source of happiness, but she was determined not to dump her own responsibilities on Anna. _Anna told me over a year ago that she did not want to be queen of Arendelle. I will not leave her and dump those responsibilities on her. Maybe when I'm queen I can finally apologize to her, if she'll listen. That would be better than nothing, even if I can't fix everything to the way it was when we were little._ Elsa clung to that thought every time her mind drifted to something she would regret doing and be unable to take back.

* * *

><p>For her part, Anna had no idea what to do anymore. <em>Elsa probably thinks I've abandoned her. If she was depressed before, what's she feeling like now? What if…no, I'm not gonna even consider that. Elsa wouldn't do that. She has more sense in her head than that, <em>Anna convinced herself.

* * *

><p>By Elsa's eighteenth birthday, Elsa just plain didn't care what day it was. It didn't matter. She wasn't going to be queen for years and years, so what was the point in keeping track of the days at the moment? <em>I don't care. I hate life. I wish I could disappear. But I can't, and I won't. I'm still the crown princess. That means I have future responsibilities.<em>

Elsa's 'storm sense' continued to become aggravatingly more acute. All summer, every time there was even a minor thunderstorm, Elsa became very antsy and jumpy. _I wish my powers would stop making me do that. I hate that feeling of an 'internal storm' swirling inside._ One September morning, Elsa woke up and somehow just _felt_ there was going to be a tornado later that day. _I have to warn someone!_ Elsa had an ice barrier against the door, so breaking the lock and getting out that way was out of the question. She'd have to use the secret passages. Elsa bit her lip before going anywhere. _What if no one believes me again? I might just get myself in trouble for nothing… Elsa, you're being selfish. You _have_ to give the warning. Tornadoes are destructive. _She took a deep breath and headed into the passages. _Where do I go?_ Deciding that since this was important business, the Great Hall would be best; she quickly headed in that direction, hoping her parents would either be there now or soon would be.

Elsa slipped into the Great Hall. There was no one there right now. _Of course. I always have rotten luck…now what? _Next course of action: her father's study. Surely he would be in there. Quiet as a cat, Elsa tiptoed through the castle, hoping she wouldn't meet anyone on the way. She didn't. Elsa lightly knocked on the door to her father's study and waited for a reply.

"Who is it?"

Elsa sighed in relief. _Thank goodness._ "It's Princess Elsa."

Now the door opened, and Agdar asked, "What are you doing here, Elsa? Did you break the lock again?"

"No, I did not." Elsa clasped her hands behind her back and said calmly, "I know I am not supposed to be here, but there is a tornado coming later today." _Please believe me…please, please, please…_

"I thought your powers only consisted of things relating to cold."

Elsa sighed. _I knew it. Now I'm going to be in trouble. _"Evidently they don't. Please believe me! I _know_ there's a tornado coming. I can feel it…"

"Did you make this so-called tornado? Are you controlling it somehow?"

Elsa was horrified. _Dad actually looks genuinely frightened. Oh no…I think he really, honestly believes I'm doing it. _"_NO!_ How could you think I'd send a destructive thing like that into Arendelle?!"

"Then how else are you predicting it?"

"I don't know! I have no idea why my powers do _anything_! I'm just trying to help and give the warning!" Elsa replied, trying to remain calm. _Conceal, don't feel. Emotions on lockdown._

"I think we need to make a trip downstairs…maybe then you won't go through with this…"

"Euphemism alert," Elsa responded through clenched teeth. _What have I done? Nothing but gotten myself in trouble._ "Fine. But you _have_ to believe me! Please! Even if you don't, couldn't you just take some precautions anyhow? Please?" Elsa didn't know what else she could do. She followed her father 'downstairs', her head held high, blinking back tears. _I never do the right thing._

As she had done the last time she was down here, Elsa stepped into the cell without a word. She paused for a moment before turning back and saying quietly, "I'll stay here. I won't make a fuss. I won't try to get out. But you are _not_ putting those…things on me again." _I'm not going to say nothing this time. It's not fair._

"How else are we going to make sure you don't go through with the tornado?"

Elsa thought this over for a moment. _Well, if those horrid things are on me, and Dad thinks I can't do anything with them on-which is true; then he'll know when the tornado comes anyway that I didn't do it. _"Okay." She looked away, but she didn't move away or otherwise protest. _Get out of here. Just get out of here and leave me alone._ The second the door closed and locked, Elsa realized she had forgotten to ask one very important question. _I have no idea how long I'm going to be left down here._ Elsa knew from her previous experience that it was pointless to try to get those shackles off her, so she didn't even bother trying. She leaned against the wall and tried to zone out, but she still felt too agitated because of the incoming tornado. _I feel like I'm going to throw up. I am NOT doing that in here. Disgusting alert! _Trying to take her mind off her upset stomach, Elsa paced back and forth as far as the chains would let her. Soon, she grew tired of that and just stared out the latticed window at the fast-darkening sky over the fjord. _Come on, tornado, hurry up and get here. That's my ticket for getting out of here._

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, rain began pouring down. Lightning flashed and thunder crashed loudly. A shiver of unexplainable excitement ran through the eighteen-year-old girl standing in front of the window in the dungeon. Upstairs in the castle, the king and queen of Arendelle briefly wondered if their oldest daughter had perhaps been right. But she had said <em>tornado<em>, and no tornado was here. The younger princess of Arendelle just wanted to know what her sister was doing, and wondered if she'd predicted this storm as she had with the blizzard and most likely that hurricane.

* * *

><p>Back in the dungeon, Elsa still stood gazing out the window. What was that she saw out in the fjord? <em>I'm right! I'm right! There's a waterspout out there! If it hits land, it would be called a tornado! Wait, why am I <em>excited_ about this?! Tornadoes are destructive!_ Elsa looked hopefully out the window. _Come on, just stay out in the fjord, waterspout. And Dad, Mom, PLEASE go look out a window! Then nothing and nobody will get hurt, and Dad will know I didn't make the tornado, since I'm stuck chained up down here._ She bit her lip as the swirling vortex moved closer towards land. _No, don't hit land. Please don't…_ Elsa was very hesitant to attempt to do anything to alter the course of the storm. She probably couldn't even do that anyway, especially with her hands shackled. Plus she might just end up destroying everything. Still…Elsa would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try. So she closed her eyes and tried to really, genuinely _feel_ her 'connection' to the storm. _Move away from Arendelle. Move away. Please…_ Elsa blinked her eyes open just in time to see the twister literally eat up an entire ship floating in the fjord. _Did I make it do that?!_ Elsa had absolutely no idea, but she wasn't going to take any more chances. She shrank back against the wall and curled into a ball. That storm was _only_ going to destroy things naturally if she could help it. Not because of her. _Just get away from here and move away from Arendelle, stupid storm. Please._

To Elsa's surprise, the twister spit out that ship a few feet from where it had disappeared and started moving away from land before dissolving into nothing far, far from shore. _Did I do that, or did it do it on its own?_ The more she watched this storm, the more confused she became. She knew tornadoes could change directions seemingly at random, and that they could sometimes pick up things and drop them again. But it was still weird. Elsa decided that she must not have meddled with the storm at all. _I don't have nearly enough control to make a natural storm do what I want it to. Besides…interfering with the natural course of nature…that's almost creepy. I can't do that. I shouldn't do that anyway, even if I could control it._

An hour later, the storm had dissipated, leaving the sky still looking droopy and gray. But the rain had stopped. Elsa was glad the tornado hadn't made a direct hit on Arendelle, but now she was growing worried that no one would come let her out. The minutes slowly ticked by. _I'm not going to just get left down here, am I? What am I going to do?_ Elsa wiggled her cramped fingers as much as she could. She wanted those things _off_. Why had she agreed to this, _again_? Yes, she'd been trying to be logical, but she still didn't have any way of getting out of here. And now the tornado and its adjoining thunderstorm(s) had passed; and here she was, still locked down here. Elsa plopped down on the bench against the wall and absentmindedly kicked at the chains. Rattle went the links in the chain. Clunk it went against the stone floor. Rattle, clunk. Rattle, clunk. _Annoying noise._ Elsa stopped kicking and wondered what to do next. She could yell for someone to come get her, but she was _not_ going to beg to be let out. _I'm not begging. I'm NOT breaking down._ Elsa was actually angry this time. All she had done was give a warning, for goodness sakes. And not only did her father not believe her, he thought _she_ was making the storm herself. _The only thing is…I think Dad really, genuinely believed I was doing it. He was _scared_. If I had been doing it, I would completely understand that; but I DIDN'T DO IT. Why didn't he believe me?_

By late afternoon, Elsa's anger had disappeared, leaving her feeling depressed and miserable. What if no one ever came? Would she have to stay down here forever? _The storm is long over. Why hasn't anyone come? Why? And I want Anna back. Even just hearing her talk to me through the door would make me happy._

* * *

><p>Anna darted down the hall to her father's study for the second time that afternoon. <em>Dad's been acting really weird since this morning. Like…nervous, but something else too; I don't know what it is. And I think it's got something to do with Elsa.<em> "Dad, where is Elsa?" she asked the second she ran into the study.

"Why do you ask that all of a sudden?"

"Why don't you tell me where she is?" Anna's eyes fell on the large ring of keys lying on her father's desk. _Wait a sec…I bet Elsa's in the dungeon again. Dad never carries those keys around._ Anna pulled her eyes away from the keys in order to avoid suspicion. _I'm getting Elsa out myself this time. I just gotta get those keys._ Anna started to form a plan in her mind. She'd go down to the dungeon that night and let Elsa out herself. And if Elsa wasn't there, then ok. But if she was, then Anna would be able to help. _And I can tell Elsa why I've been ignoring her._

Anna edged her way out of the study and ran back to her own room. _I gotta help Elsa. I have to._

There was one caveat to her plan. She needed those keys! So Anna hung around the study all afternoon. When she saw her father put the keys in the back of a drawer and shut it, Anna was quite pleased. Now she knew where to get the keys that night. Anna tiptoed away down the hall.

* * *

><p>Late that night-or rather, early the next morning around four AM, Anna hopped out of bed and tiptoed down the hall to her father's study. She'd kept her regular dress on so that if she got caught, she could just claim she hadn't gone to bed yet. <em>It's a lousy excuse, but better than nothing.<em> Anna eased the door to the study open and ran over to the desk. She opened the drawer she'd seen her dad put those keys in and felt around in the back of the drawer. _Awesome. I've got 'em._ Next she fumbled to light a candle before heading down the hall and downstairs. Anna found the door leading down to the dungeon and paused before pulling it open. _I'm going down there for Elsa. This is no time to turn chicken. My sister needs help._ Anna tiptoed down the stairs down to the main corridor of the dungeon before starting to whisper her sister's name. "Elsa? If you're down here, please answer. Elsa?"

Anna heard muffled crying from somewhere farther down the corridor and jumped for a moment before realizing that _had_ to be Elsa. _I knew Elsa was down here! Now I just gotta find her._ She followed her ears toward the sound. Anna finally stopped in front of the right cell. "Elsa? It's me, Anna."

On the other side of the door, Elsa struggled to stop crying. _Did I really hear Anna's voice? I must be going crazy, imagining things that aren't even there. Anna wouldn't come down here. She doesn't even know I'm here._ "I have to be just hearing things," Elsa whispered.

Anna tried several different keys in the lock before finally finding the right one. "Elsa, you aren't just hearing things. I came down here to let you out," she said as she stepped inside the doorway. Anna realized that it was downright _freezing_ down here, and worried Elsa might be cold too until she remembered her sister was immune to such things. _I'm not gonna say I'm cold…Elsa'll probably start worrying about me or something._

Elsa just stared at her sister. "I th-thought you…gave up on m-me," she stammered. _Wait…Anna didn't give up on me. She was being prevented from knocking or anything. That's what happened. It figures… _Elsa looked down at the floor as tears of relief trickled down her cheeks. "Anna…I missed hearing your voice _so_ much…"

Anna frowned. _I thought Elsa might be mad at me that I'd been ignoring her, but she just _missed_ me?_ "I thought you might be mad at me."

Elsa turned her gaze toward her sister. _Why in the world would I be mad at her? _"I have no reason to be mad at you. You have full reason to not bother with me anymore."

_Elsa doesn't look mad…she just looks sad and tired…_ "Elsa, please. You are NOT a bother. And let me take those horrid old things off you. Why are you down here anyway? Has it got anything to do with the storm earlier?"

Elsa nodded as Anna started trying to find the right key to unlock the shackles. _Wait…with my hands chained up, my powers actually are unable to hurt Anna…I can't even freeze the shackles off. So…_ "Anna, wait a second…can I have a hug? Please? I mean, if you don't want to, that's okay, but…"

Anna stared at Elsa in surprise. _I thought she didn't want anyone hugging her because of the 'it's not safe' thing. But whatever! _"Of course you can, Elsa. Just lemme get these stupid things off first." Anna couldn't stand seeing her sister's hands chained up any longer.

Elsa immediately moved away from Anna. "No! It's…I…um…oh, I can't explain…just Anna, _please_ can I have my hug first? Please?" _Anna must think I'm crazy…_

Anna quickly obliged her sister's request. Elsa all but collapsed into Anna's arms. "I'm so sorry, Anna…I can't help it…I don't want to do this anymore…I can't…"

_She what?! What did Elsa just say?_ Anna held her shaking sister close and didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Elsa, promise me you won't…leave me. And if I'm not talking to you, it's because I'm trying to keep us from getting in trouble, ok?" _I knew Elsa had to be getting awful thoughts in her head, and sure enough…_

Elsa flinched. _Anna knows the rotten thoughts I've had and she hasn't even seen me… _"I won't. I promise." Elsa's voice sounded a bit faint, but she also sounded determined. Anna knew her sister was telling her the truth. Elsa hesitantly lifted her own arms and hugged Anna back. _I'm giving Anna a hug. And I'm safe for her to be around right now. I'm so happy. _"I'm so happy right now, Anna…" Right that second, it didn't matter to Elsa that she'd been locked down here unfairly; that her hands were sore; that she had ice powers she couldn't control; or that she was so, so _tired_ of everything. She was with Anna _safely_ for now, and that was all that mattered.

Anna frowned when she felt the cold metal that bound her sister's hands against her back. _How can she be happy right now? Elsa's still all chained up and she says she's happy…What's wrong with her? I wish I knew exactly what was bothering Elsa._ "And Elsa? About the storm…did you predict it like with the blizzard?"

Elsa nodded and mumbled 'yes' into her sister's shoulder.

"Cool! So you've got like 'storm sense'?" Anna asked.

"No, it isn't. That's what landed me down here," Elsa said quietly. _And that Dad thought I was making the storm…_

"That's stupid. I think it's awesome! Maybe you shouldn't give storm warnings anymore," Anna suggested. "I mean, if nobody's going to believe you anyway, what's the point?"

_That's true._ "Thank you, Anna. I guess you're right." _I'm so glad Anna came down here, _Elsa thought.

"Of course I'm right. Elsa, can you please let me take those shackles offa you now? I hate seeing you like that."

"But then I can't let you get near me anymore," Elsa said, frowning as she glanced down at her shackled hands.

"What?! That's silly, Elsa. You just let me hug you, and you hugged me back for goodness sakes! Have you got poison ivy on your hands or something?" Anna asked, only half-joking.

Elsa giggled. "How would I have gotten poison ivy _indoors_?! That's totally illogical!" The prospect was so ludicrous to Elsa it was hilarious. She wished poison ivy _was_ the problem. That went away after a while.

Anna still didn't understand, but she didn't press the issue further. She had made Elsa laugh, and she seemed to be happy; so that was Mission Accomplished. And besides, she had to get Elsa out of there soon, or they were going to get caught. "Elsa, I REALLY don't want to cut off our conversation, but if I'm gonna get you out of here, we need to leave as soon as possible."

Elsa looked disappointed for a moment, but then she smiled. "You're awesome, Anna; you know that?" _Anna's really going to get me out of here._

Anna tossed her head and flipped her pigtail braids. "Of _course_ I'm awesome! And so are you! I'm the…ooh, I know, Stealth Princess, and you can be the Storm Princess! Yeah!"

Elsa was still giggling as Anna finally figured out which key unlocked the shackles. She stepped back a few feet from Anna the second her hands were free, but she was still smiling. "Thank you, Anna."

"You're very, very welcome," Anna told her. She wanted to give Elsa a hug again, but Elsa seemed happy at the moment, even if she suddenly didn't want to be touched again; so Anna didn't try. "Let's use our special spy-stealth-ninja powers to sneak back upstairs!"

Elsa grinned, and the two girls tiptoed quiet as mice back up to the main first floor of the castle. Anna made sure not to invade Elsa's space, which Elsa quickly realized and greatly appreciated. _One issue…how am I going to get back into my room? Oh wait, Anna has the keys! Except, I think there's an ice barrier on my door. There is no way it's melted already…_

* * *

><p>When they reached Elsa's room, Elsa immediately asked Anna for the keys. "Elsa, does your door lock on the outside?" Anna hissed, starting to ball her hands into angry fists.<p>

"Mmhmm…don't worry about me, Anna…" Elsa tried to blow it off. "Confidentially, I know how to pick locks," she whispered.

Anna snickered. "I _knew_ you still had that mischievous streak of yours!"

Elsa found the key that opened her door and took a deep breath before attempting to push it open. To her surprise, it opened easily. "I just don't exercise it very often," she said, giving Anna a lopsided smile. "Thank you _so, so _much for everything you've done for me. Goodbye, Anna." Elsa gave the keys back to Anna, disappeared into her room and shut the door. _My ice barrier is gone?! _The ice barrier had mysteriously disappeared entirely, aside from a puddle of water on the floor. _That's odd…I know it couldn't have melted that quickly…_

To Anna's surprise, she heard her own signature knock from Elsa on the other side of the door. _That's a special message from Elsa. _She did the same knock in reply before heading off to her own room with a bounce in her steps.

* * *

><p>Elsa happily put on her nightgown and climbed into bed. <em>I've got Anna back! Well, sort of…in any event, she didn't just give up on me. That's enough for me.<em> Elsa fell asleep smiling. No bad dreams bothered her that night.

* * *

><p>The next morning at breakfast, Anna was all smiles. She figured she was going to be asked where Elsa was, but she didn't care. Anna had successfully gotten her sister out from the dungeon, and she didn't care one bit that she'd probably get in trouble for letting Elsa out. <em>Elsa shouldn't have been down there in the first place. I mean, seriously, what's the big deal about her 'storm sense' thing? It's actually helpful anyways…<em>

Sure enough, Agdar asked, "Did you have anything to do with your sister yesterday? Because she wasn't-"

"In the dungeon this morning?" Anna interrupted.

"What did you do with her?"

"I let her out," Anna said simply. Then she shoveled the rest of her pancakes in her mouth, gulped her milk; then stood up from the table. "Excuse me, please." Anna was just getting ready to leave the dining hall when her father stopped her.

"Anna, that wasn't any of your business."

Anna just stared. "On the contrary, it was _definitely_ my business! Why did you put Elsa down there for giving a warning about a tornado?! She was trying to be helpful!"

"Just what exactly did she tell you?"

"I asked Elsa if she'd predicted the tornado like she had with that blizzard. My sister, whose name happens to be _Elsa_, said yes; I said that was super cool; and then she said no, she'd been put down there for it! That is so STUPID." _Not to mention, you've made Elsa beyond depressed, _Anna added in her thoughts. _I gotta tell him what Elsa was thinking about; maybe that'll shock some sense into him. But I have to figure out exactly how._

"There was no tornado yesterday, Anna. Your sister was wrong."

"No she wasn't. I saw a twister out over the fjord. It didn't hit land. You prob'ly didn't see it, I guess," Anna said. She turned and began walking out of the dining hall.

"Don't have any contact with Elsa."

Anna just kept walking. _You wish. I WILL find a way to talk to her. At least if I can't, Elsa knows why now though._

* * *

><p>Back upstairs in her room an hour later, Elsa heard Anna's footsteps out in the hall. Then she heard an "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" and a crash against her door. Then a note appeared under her door. Elsa held back a giggle as she ran to pick the note up. <em>Anna must have pretended to fall so she could flick the note under my door. Ingenious.<em> Wondering what she could do to reply without being suspicious, Elsa glanced around her room. Pretending to fall probably wasn't particularly a good idea, but she wasn't sure what else to do. So she knocked a chair over and let out an "Ow!"

Suddenly there was dead silence out in the hall. Then Elsa heard Anna say, "Something's the matter with Elsa! I heard her say 'ow' about something!" _Oops. That wasn't the reaction I was going for, _Elsa thought. She quickly ran over to the door and did Anna's special signature knock. _Wait, I shouldn't have done that…_

Anna heard Elsa's code reply and immediately realized her sister had just been trying to give her subtle message. _Elsa knows I was pretending to fall! That's what it is. Cool!_

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Elsa heard another knock on her door, but this one wasn't one she wanted to hear. <em>It's either Mom or Dad or both. What if they want to make me go back to the dungeon? <em>She was just thinking that maybe she had better put an ice barrier back on her door when the door opened. Elsa moved back towards the opposite wall. _Please don't…please…I hope it's something else entirely…_

To Elsa's great relief, that was _not_ the reason. "Elsa, we have to go on a trip for two weeks. We leave tomorrow. You will have to take on the responsibility of being queen regent for that time. Kai will help you."

A seemingly endless stream of thoughts ran through Elsa's mind. _I can't be queen regent, even for just two weeks! I'm only eighteen! At least Mom and Dad trust me to do that. That's a good thing. Wait, if they're gone, then Anna can talk to me during that time. Awesome! But what if someone wants me to open the gates while they're gone? I can't do that. I can't have anyone see me. What if I mess up? It doesn't matter; Anna will be able to talk to me. IT DOES TOO MATTER IF I MESS UP! What if I lose control or something? _Finally, Elsa answered, "What exactly is the trip for?"

"We think we may have found a way to cure you of the ice problem. There is also important business to take care of in Weselton."

Elsa frowned. _I really, really don't think there's any way to cure me. And Weselton? That place is trouble. I still think the duke tries to cheat Arendelle for his own personal gain…_ "Okay. I will do my best to take care of Arendelle. Is there anything specific I will have to do?"

"No. There actually is nothing specific at all to do at the moment, but should something come up politics-wise or letter-wise, you'll have to take care of it. That's all."

Elsa smiled. _I can do that. Writing I can do. I don't really care for it, but I'm capable of that. _"I can handle that."

That evening, Elsa not-very-sorry-in-the-least excitement had completely faded. She could feel that there was yet another storm coming, and would arrive in Arendelle within a few days. Closing her eyes, Elsa tried to feel her faint 'connection' with the faraway storm. Elsa blinked her eyes open in horror a second later. _That storm is right in the path Mom and Dad have to go! What do I do?!_ Anna had suggested she not bother trying to give storm warnings anymore, but wasn't it wrong to let her parents leave on a trip right into the path of a storm? _They won't believe me anyway…and I can't deal with staying in the dungeon for two weeks, which is probably what would happen. Except I'm supposed to be in charge of Arendelle while they're gone…I don't know what to do. I don't know. Wait…maybe I can try asking them not to go without saying anything about the storm._

* * *

><p>Early the next morning, Anna ran down the hall, pausing in front of Elsa's room but not saying anything. She frowned for a moment, but then remembered she'd be able to talk to Elsa every day for the next two weeks. She wasn't going to mess that up by talking to her now. <em>I'll talk to Elsa the SECOND Mom and Dad leave. That should make her happy.<em> Anna ran into her parents' room. "See you in two weeks!" Anna paused for a moment before adding, "Mom, Dad, can I please tell you something about Elsa? It's really important…"

"Make it quick…"

Anna was trying to go for shock value, so she started to say, "Elsa has considered s-s-" _I can't even say the word…_ She noticed her parents looked appropriately shocked (_Thank goodness,_ Anna noted), so she added, "She promised she wouldn't, but I'm still super worried about her…"

"Anna, we'll talk to her when we get back. Your sister is responsible for Arendelle while we are gone. You said she's promised not to, so let's not put the idea back in her head when she's supposed to have important responsibilities."

Anna grinned. _I'm getting a little somewhere, _finally_! It took something way too extreme to grab their attention, but it finally worked. Awesome. Maybe I'll at least be allowed to talk to Elsa now._ "Ok. Thanks, Mom; thanks, Dad." Anna was so pleased she jumped in her parents' arms and gave them a hug. _I'm still really, really mad at them for what they've done to Elsa, but maybe we'll be getting some things fixed now._

* * *

><p>Elsa stood at the bottom of the castle staircase to see her parents off. She still wasn't sure what to do about the storm. She didn't even know how severe the storm would be; it was still too far away for her to determine. <em>Maybe it's just a minor storm system working its way to Arendelle. In that case, Mom and Dad should be fine anyway. <em>Elsa dropped a polite curtsy when her parents came down the stairs. "Do you _have _to go?"

"You'll be fine, Elsa."

_But I don't know if you will be or not…_ "Could you maybe postpone the trip for a while?" Elsa asked hopefully.

"No…there are scheduled meetings and it is too late to cancel them."

Elsa bit her lip. _What else can I say that would be convincing but not mention that storm?_ Elsa was still mulling it over when Anna came up behind her a few minutes later.

"I get to talk to you for two whole weeks now!" Anna said excitedly.

Elsa moved a few feet away from Anna and asked, "You mean they're gone already?!" _I've lost my chance. I can only hope that storm is a nothing…_

"Uh-huh. I think you were zoned out when they left. Want to have breakfast together?"

Elsa frowned. "Don't you think that's a little rude on my part? Like, 'Ooh, the parents are gone, so let's break the rules!' type thing?" _I do want to, though…if I feel like I'm losing control, I can always run back up to my room._

Anna just grinned at her. "Well, yeah. But who's gonna make you do anything? Mom and Dad told me you're in charge while they're gone. So you can do whatever you want!"

"I can?" Elsa glanced down at her hands, those dangerous hands of hers, and then back at Anna. _Maybe I can…just for now. As long as I stay away from her, I should be fine._ "Will you promise not to touch me and stay away from me?" she asked.

"Sure. We can sit on opposite ends of the table if you want. Whatever is fine with me," Anna assured her. _And loads better than Elsa being physically locked in her room._ "Come on."

Elsa gave her sister a small smile, and the two girls headed off to the dining hall together. _Not hand in hand like when we were little, but still together all the same. Thank you, Anna._

**_A/N: So...Anna managed to catch their parents' attention finally, but we all know what's going to happen. You're just a bit late, Anna.:/ _**

**_Next chapter coming soon:)_**


	22. Two Weeks of Freedom

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Guest-Lol, you aren't the only one who's excited for their parents to die:P;)**

**Lindstrom-I think Anna's loyalty is one of her best qualities.:)**

**Angela3000-We'll get some happy stuff in this chapter, actually. (Not ALL of it, but some:))**

**Guest321-I think the depressing stuff is probably mostly actually in the next chapter instead of this one...I say MOSTLY, not 'not at all'.:P P.S. Why, thank you!:)**

**Fatten Saad-Lol, very funnyXD ****Yes, quite well.;)******

**Guest-VERY expensive two-week freedom for Elsa...**

**bananas-rule-2015-There's some happy stuff in this chapter!:) I don't mind the caps lock;)**

**Guest-I think that's the consensus-everybody hates Agdar:P**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yeah, Anna is going to be really confused...:/**

**olaf99-How could I skip those two weeks?! Of course they're in this chapter.:) Elsa and Anna need some happy events.;)**

**On to the story!:) (Ok, I know I promised the shipwreck was in this chapter, and it _kinda_ is [we as the readers will know it's happened], but Elsa and Anna aren't going to find out till next chapter. So...hopefully nobody's mad.:P)**

Elsa and Anna happily sat down on opposite ends of the table. All Elsa could think was that this was her first time eating a meal in the dining hall since she was eight. _Ten years. A decade. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this, but…I can't say I'm exactly sorry for doing it, either. _She smiled at Anna and said, "It's been a _decade_ since I've done this. Thank you for inviting me, Anna."

Anna resisted the urge to frown. _Elsa is so excited about simply HAVING A MEAL IN THE DINING HALL. That is ridiculous. This is what she should have been doing all along. _"You're welcome, Elsa, but you shouldn't thank me for something like this. It's just a meal."

Elsa's excited smile faded. _Yes, I should thank you. You actually invited _me_ to do something with you without trying to get me to do something I'm not comfortable with. _"It might be just a meal for you, but it's a big deal for me. I'm used to eating alone in my room…"

Now Anna felt like smacking herself. _Just a meal, indeed. That was a stupid thing for me to say. Elsa's 'normal' isn't the way it should be. Of course she's going to get excited about simple things._

"Anna, why are you frowning?" Elsa asked. "Did I say something wrong?" _Maybe Anna thought I was being annoying or something, making a big deal over something simple._

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Did you say something wrong?!" Anna pushed away from the table and jumped out of her seat.

Elsa flinched at Anna's shouting. _Big oops…what faux pas did I commit now?_ "I'm sorry, Anna, really! I won't say anything else stupid."

Anna started to run towards Elsa to give her a hug; then remembered her sister didn't like being touched and sat back down. "Elsa, stop it. You did _nothing_ wrong. It just made me upset that you were all excited over something as simple as eating a meal in the dining hall, that's all."

Elsa gave a relieved sigh. "Oh. I'm sorry." _Now that I'm really thinking about it, that IS really lame…_

"Quit apologizing for nothing," Anna scolded.

"I'll try." Elsa gave Anna a small smile, and the two of them finished eating their breakfast in a mostly happy silence.

* * *

><p>After breakfast, Elsa was still debating whether she should go back to her room or not when Anna asked if Elsa wanted to go outside in the courtyard with her. <em>I can't do that. It'll be weird if I do that now and someone sees me; and then when Mom and Dad come back I don't do it anymore…<em> "I better not," Elsa decided. _I really want to though. I haven't been outside in so long._

Anna didn't press the issue. Elsa wasn't hightailing it away from her, and that was more than she had been doing before. "D'you want to…ride bicycles together?"

"Anna, I can't go outside," Elsa said regretfully. "Plus I don't even know if I _can_ ride a bicycle…"_ I could when I was little, but I was a bit shaky and that was also ten years ago._

"You don't hafta go outside. We can just ride around the halls. Or down the stairs!"

Elsa's eyes grew big at the idea of riding a bicycle down the stairs. She remembered Anna convincing her to do that together when they were little, and they'd ended up taking a nasty tumble more than once. And Anna had continued wanting to do it anyway; she didn't care. Elsa remembered liking riding fast outdoors (albeit a bit shakily), but there was no steering a trip down the stairs. You just rode off out of control and hoped you stayed upright. Elsa hated bumping and hurtling out of control. _Yeah, I don't think so. I have enough control issues... _"Down the stairs?! I'd have thought you grew out of that by now. I am not riding a bicycle down the stairs."

"The hall, then?" Anna asked.

Elsa mulled that over for a minute. _You can't do that with your sister, Elsa. You'll have to be too close to her, and it won't be safe. _"I could just watch you," she offered.

Anna frowned. "I'm not gonna go ride a bike while you stand around by yourself. What do _you_ want to do, Elsa?" _So…Mom and Dad make her stay in her room, but she does choose to stay away physically her own self. Probably because of that stupid 'it's not safe' thing._ Anna decided to try to convince Elsa otherwise. "Y'know, Elsa, you aren't gonna hurt me if you get close. I know you like hugs, 'cause you ASKED me for one when I came down to find you. And even if you _did_ hurt me, I wouldn't be mad 'cause I'd know you didn't do it on purpose."

Elsa just pushed away from the table and ran from the room. She could feel herself starting to get upset again, and she was _not_ going to lose control in front of Anna. _But I did hurt you…when we were little! And I can't let you give me any more hugs, either. I just did that because I knew I was safe to be around right then because of those shackles. I can't very well explain that to Anna…it barely makes sense even to me!_ Elsa darted into her room and shut the door. A moment later, she heard Anna's signature knock on the door. "Anna, please go away! Just for now! I promise I'll come out later. Please?"

_What did I say to make her run off again?_ Anna paused outside Elsa's door. Elsa had told her to go away, but she also said she would come out later. Anna took this to mean that Elsa didn't really want her to go away at all, so she said, "I'm not leaving, Elsa. I'll sit right out here till you're ready to come out, all right?"

Elsa didn't answer, but she went to sit leaning against her door. _Thank you, Anna. _She pulled her knees to her chest, but not because she was upset this time. Just because she was comfortable sitting that way. _Anna is too understanding. She doesn't even know why I ran off. But she's still willing to stay with me. _Elsa smiled and finally just said, "Thank you, Anna."

"You are quite welcome, and you don't have to thank me. Elsa, are you sitting against the door? You sound really close by," Anna replied.

"Mmhmm…" _Just a few minutes longer by myself. I need to be completely calm if I'm going to come out and talk to Anna,_ Elsa thought.

"Are you ready to come out, Elsa?"

"Please just give me a few more minutes, Anna…please…and, um, the door's locked on your side," Elsa said. _Anna's going to have to open the door anyway. I don't think she'll barge in on me, though._

"You got it. Elsa…are the keys in Dad's desk in his study? I could find 'em while you finish…uh, whatever you're doing in there," Anna answered.

Elsa sighed. _I'm doing absolutely _nothing_ besides trying to calm myself down. _"They're in the back of a drawer in that desk, yes. It's the key that looks kinda like a snowflake." _Ironic, huh…oh, I'm not going to think about it._

"Ok. Be right back. I won't come in till you say I can, though, Elsa."

Elsa heard Anna's footsteps fade off down the hall. She finally felt calm enough that she wasn't about to let off ice any second, and she decided that was as calm as she was going to get. _Anna can open the door the minute she comes back._

* * *

><p>When Elsa gave Anna permission to open the door a few minutes later, Anna immediately gave her sister a suggestion. "Why don't you switch the lock so it's on your side? That way you can come and go as you please without somebody having to let you out."<p>

Elsa frowned. _If Mom and Dad come back and find out I did that, I'll be in big, big trouble…_

"You could always switch it back before Mom and Dad get back," Anna added, almost reading Elsa's exact thoughts.

_I could, but…that's kind of rude and disrespectful…_ "Don't you think that's a bit…underhanded and sneaky?" Elsa asked.

"Good grief, Elsa, WHY INSERTWORDI'MNOTGONNASAY DO YOU EVEN CARE?! Mom and Dad have been _rotten_ to you! Your door shouldn't lock on the outside anyway!" Anna exclaimed.

Elsa turned away, crossing her arms around her middle. _But I'm dangerous. I hurt Anna…I shouldn't even be leaving my room to spend time with Anna in the first place…_ "They're still my parents, Anna," she whispered. "Keeping you safe from…from me."

"Elsa…mistreating_ you_ does NOT keep _me_ safe. That's stupid. Even if you _were_ dangerous, which I still don't believe in the least, that's still just totally absurd," Anna said firmly. "C'mon, just switch the locks. We don't even have to tell Gerda or Kai about it. We can just take the lock off one of the guest rooms and exchange it with yours. Well, if we can figure out how to do that."

_Is it possible that Anna's right? I know I can't get close to Anna and everything, but…I shouldn't have been chained up in the dungeon. That was _not_ fair. Especially the second time regarding me predicting the tornado. I was trying to help. _Elsa began questioning her situation for one of the very few times in years. _And my door's lock should be on my side. That I know Anna is right on. _"I think I can switch the locks," Elsa said finally.

"Awesome! I'll go get the tools from downstairs. Do…do you want to come with me?" Anna asked. She knew Elsa was still questioning _anything_ and _everything_ about what she was doing, but at least Elsa was thinking and willing to talk, even if it was just a little.

"Y-yes?" Elsa said in a questioning tone. Then, in a stronger voice, "Yes. Yes, I do. Thank you, Anna." _I can walk downstairs with Anna. I can do that. I _can_ do that. No one is here to keep me from doing it, and I've got it under control at the moment._

Anna just smiled at her. "Let's go, then." She and Elsa started down the hall; Elsa trailing a few feet behind her. Anna turned back to wait for her sister to catch up.

Elsa quickly realized what Anna was doing. Waiting for her. Waiting for _her._ "Go on, Anna…you don't have to wait for me." _You shouldn't wait for me anyway…I still can't get too close…_

"No, I don't HAVE to. I WANT to, Elsa. You are not going to hurt me, Elsa, I know you won't. We're just going to go down the stairs together."

_But you don't know what's really wrong with me. _Elsa was still clasping her hands together in front of her, wondering what she should do, when Anna ran back to stand next to her. _What's Anna doing?_

"Elsa, I'm just gonna touch your shoulder." Anna noticed Elsa starting to say something and back away, and quickly added, "Wait, Elsa. If you still want me to move away from you after a couple seconds, that's ok. I'll move and I won't touch you any more unless you say I can."

Elsa stopped backing away and stared quizzically at her sister. _She's not going to try to jump all over me and hug me? That seems more of an Anna-ish thing to do. She's trying to…give me a bit of space. That's what Anna's doing._ Elsa flinched when she felt Anna's hand on her shoulder, but the only thing her mind registered was _Anna's touching me without me being sick or chained up AND I'M NOT HURTING HER!_ "Anna…Anna…you're touching me and I'm not hurting you! It happened! It really, really happened!" _After ten years, it happened…it really, truly happened! _Happy tears rolled down Elsa's face, but she didn't try to wipe them away. "Why am I crying?! I'm happy! Really! It's just…I don't know!"

"See? I told you it was ok, Elsa!" Anna smiled at her sister and squeezed her shoulder. "Is it all right to give you a hug?"

Elsa bit her lip. _I can't let Anna do that. She'll end up touching my hands somehow and I'll hurt her with my powers._ She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Anna…"

"That's all right," Anna assured her. _Too much too fast for Elsa, I guess. After all, she probably hasn't let anyone even touch her in forever. _"You did let someone touch you! That's good, right?"

"I love you, Anna. You make me…happy…" Elsa had no idea what to say. She just hoped Anna understood just how much she appreciated the way Anna treated her. _Anna's willing to let me have my space; she doesn't treat me like a…a freak, even if that is what I am; and she cares about me. And wait a second…_ Elsa suddenly realized she felt completely, entirely in control for the first time since she was eight. She just felt like a normal girl talking to her sister. _I wish I could tell Anna what was wrong with me. I wonder if she could help me with it…wait, what are you thinking, Elsa?! You can't expect Anna to do that!_ Still, Elsa would take what she could get. Talking to Anna face-to-face and Anna's touch on her shoulder was more than enough for her. _More than I could have hoped for._

* * *

><p>That evening, Anna invited Elsa to sleep in her room, but Elsa declined. She had absolutely no way of knowing whether she'd be in control or not while she was sleeping, so Anna's offer was out of the question.<p>

"Well then, I'm gonna sleep in the hall outside your room," Anna said immediately.

"I'll sleep right next to the door on the other side then," Elsa offered. _Why is Anna still willing to keep bothering with me? I mean, I appreciate it and I love her for it, but still…_

Anna smiled at her for what was probably the zillionth time that day. "Ok! Sounds good." She held her hand up, but before she actually touched her sister, she asked, "Is it all right to touch your shoulder again?"

Elsa smiled that sweet, lopsided smile of hers and nodded. "I think so. No, I _know_ so. Yes, it's okay." _And I mean it. It's okay. _I'm_ okay right now too._

"You are so getting a virtual hug right now," Anna told her.

"You're getting a virtual hug too," Elsa replied. _Anna's TOUCHING me and it's really, truly okay! _Elsa still couldn't quite believe it; she was still the exact same girl she'd been for the last ten years with the ice powers she couldn't control; yet the first day she had completely alone with Anna, Anna had gotten Elsa to allow her to touch her and absolutely nothing happened.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed and come right back, all right?" Anna asked.

"Okay." Elsa disappeared into her room with the door that now locked on _her_ side, and she went to get ready for bed herself. After putting on her nightgown and letting her hair down out of its bun and braiding it into the single braid she liked so much; Elsa debated on tiptoeing out into the hall to see what Anna was doing. _I'm eighteen years old now. I can't go traipsing around the castle in my nightgown! But…nobody's here to stop me. I'm in charge right now. I can go out in the hall if I want to. And I want to!_ So Elsa pulled her door open and darted out into the hall. And for the first time, _she_ headed to _Anna's_ door instead of the other way around. Elsa was just deciding whether or not she should knock on her sister's door when Anna threw the door open and ran smack-dab into her. Both girls ended up on the floor. Elsa was so surprised she just lay flat on the floor in shock and said nothing.

"Oh! Elsa, I'm sooo sorry!" Anna, who had already jumped back to her feet, reached a hand toward her sister to help her to her feet.

Elsa didn't accept Anna's outstretched hand, but she got back to her feet herself and laughed. "Anna, you haven't changed one bit! You did that to me when you were five, too!"

"Yeah…I'm still kinda clumsy sometimes," Anna said sheepishly. "Anyway, come on! Let's go to sleep. I got an idea. Oh, and one other thing…how come you don't just wear your hair in a braid like that all the time? I know you like it better that way."

Elsa fingered her long braid hanging over her shoulder. "_I_ like it better this way, but…" _But nobody else does because it's not proper? I don't even know why Mom and Dad don't like it this way. Oh, well…_

"Then fix it that way for just the next two weeks," Anna suggested. "It looks pretty like that, and besides, it's YOUR hair; you oughta be able to fix it how you want."

Elsa gave Anna a small smile, but she didn't say anything. _Maybe that would be okay._

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, Elsa and Anna were lying on either side of Elsa's door with a single blanket stuck under the door between them. "So it's kinda like we're sharing it even though we're not really right next to each other," Anna explained, pulling her half of the blanket out into the hall.<p>

"Anna, this has been the best day I've had in a long, long time," Elsa said sleepily from inside her room. _Even better than when I was sixteen and snuck out into the forest. Today I got to spend lots of time with Anna. That's way better in my mind._

* * *

><p>The two girls slept peacefully all night, aside from the fact that Anna kept pulling more than her share of the blanket out into the hall. Elsa wasn't cold, of course, but she still liked sleeping under a blanket for some reason that she did not know. <em>Anna did <em>that_ when she was little too, trying to take more than her share of the covers…_ Elsa couldn't be irritated though; she would rather let Anna yank the blanket all night than not have her there at all.

* * *

><p>A few days later, Elsa went to see what political business, if any, she was supposed to deal with. Any letters and such that she would have to reply to would be on her father's desk in the study. Anna tagged along, not because she wanted to help (she most definitely did <em>not<em>), but because she just wanted to be with Elsa.

Elsa opened the one letter on the desk. "It's from Corona," she said as she started to read. _Our cousin Rapunzel is getting married. I've never even seen her…I wish we could go to the wedding ourselves, but that's impossible._ After all, the letter was an invitation.

"Where's it from?" Anna asked.

"Corona, like I said. Our cousin Rapunzel is getting married," Elsa told her. "I suppose I'll have to send our regrets that we can't go."

"We've never even SEEN her!"

Elsa sighed. "I know. But I can't leave the castle, and I am _not_ sending you alone. Plus we would not arrive back in Arendelle before our parents come back."

"I wouldn't go alone even if you told me to. I want to spend the rest of the next two weeks with _you_, Elsa." Anna held her hand up and asked, "All right to touch your shoulder right now?"

Elsa nodded and smiled at her sister. "Thank you for…for letting me have the space I need. I really, really appreciate it."

_Note to self: always ask Elsa if it's ok before touching her. It makes her happy._ "Scoot over, Elsa. I wanna sit with you."

"Anna, I…well, that is…" Elsa frowned. _That's too close for me. Anna will end up touching my hands or something…_

"Ok, Elsa, never mind, it's fine," Anna said quickly. "I'll just get another chair." She pulled another chair over to the desk and sat down next to Elsa, being careful not to touch her anywhere but her shoulder. _Ok, shoulder is ok, nothing else at the moment. I gotta let Elsa decide what's ok at her own pace._

Elsa jumped when Anna laid a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move away. _Anna can touch my shoulder. It's fine. I'm not going to shoot ice at her if she just does that. Anna just needs to stay away from my hands mostly. And my feet, since I know I leave icy footprints when I get upset. _She started writing a letter to send their regrets that they wouldn't be attending Rapunzel's wedding in Corona. "How's this?" she asked a few minutes later. " 'Dear King and Queen of Corona, The royal family of Arendelle sends our regrets that we will be unable to attend Princess Rapunzel's wedding. We wish her well and send our regards. On behalf of King Agdar and Queen Idun of Arendelle, sincerely, Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle.' What do you think, Anna? Too awkward or is it okay?"

Anna made a face. "It's too standoffy and formal, don't you think?"

"It's supposed to be _professional_," Elsa countered. "And the word is 'standoffish', anyway…" _Why am I correcting Anna on something that stupid? That's mean. I haven't even seen her in forever, and I tell her that?_

"Standoffish, standoffy, whatever. I guess it's professional, if that's what you want. C'mon, let's go give the letter to Kai. He can send it out for you," Anna said. "Then we can just hang out together the rest of the day."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Elsa found herself following Anna to the hall with all the paintings in it. "Anna, what are we going to do in here?" she asked curiously.<p>

"Bounce on the furniture," Anna announced happily. "Watch!" She boinged onto one sofa and over to the next.

Elsa frowned, but she also hid a giggle behind her hand. "Anna, we're not little kids anymore. I can't go bouncing on the furniture! What if we break something?"

Anna boinged off a sofa onto her feet and ran over to her sister. "C'mon, Elsa, you're in charge right now, so if somebody tells you to stop, just tell 'em to get lost and stay there. Bouncing on the furniture is fun!" She held up her hand with a questioning look.

Elsa nodded. _Yes, touching my shoulder is fine. Thank you for asking, Anna._ Elsa felt Anna trying to pull her by the shoulder over to one of the sofas. "Well…"

"Well, come on!" Anna let go of Elsa and jumped back on the sofa. "It's fun, really!"

Elsa could feel her resolve to not go jumping all over the furniture disappearing. Come to think of it, that _did_ look like fun, even if she was eighteen and kind of too old for such things. _Well, just one time can't hurt, right?_ Elsa climbed on the other end of the sofa, away from Anna. "Well…what are we waiting for?" she asked hesitantly.

"AWESOME! On three…one…two…three!"

Both girls jumped high in the air and bounced again and again, as if they were on a trampoline. Elsa laughed and laughed, and Anna squealed in excitement. After bouncing for awhile, they decided they were tired, and simply flopped on the carpet in the middle of the floor. "Thank you for that, Anna. That was so much fun!" Elsa exclaimed.

"Told ya! Hey, Elsa…can I rebraid your hair? It kinda fell partway out while we were jumping around," Anna said.

Elsa rested her chin in her hands and thought for a moment. "Well…okay, but if I say you have to stop, then you have to get away from me _immediately_. All right?"

"Ok, cool!" Anna promptly scrambled over to her sister.

Elsa tensed up a little as Anna started undoing what was left of her braid. _Calm down, Elsa. It's fine. You aren't going to hurt Anna._

"Good grief, Elsa, you've got a ton of hair! No wonder it always looks so nice," Anna told her.

Elsa shrugged. "I don't know if it's thick or not; it's just…me, I guess, I don't know. I know the color is kind of odd, but that's it."

Anna frowned. "I don't think it's 'odd'. I think it's really pretty and dramatic-looking," she said, continuing to braid her sister's hair.

_You thought it was pretty when we were little, too. It's just there to me…I just think it's odd 'cause _nobody_ else in our family I've seen portraits of have hair the same color as mine. I think it's from my powers…_ Elsa didn't say anything aloud.

"'Kay, all finished," Anna said a moment later. "Elsa, why do you pick on yourself all the time? I wish you could see yourself like _I_ see you. Just a sweet girl who tries to deal with way too much stuff on her own. I still don't know exactly what's bothering you, but it's like…whatever it is has gotten into your head and put a whole bunch of negative thoughts and feelings about yourself there. You need to replace that stuff with positive things or something."

Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead in her crossed arms. _Since when did Anna become so smart? She's right, but…_ "I don't _have_ any positive thoughts or feelings about myself. They disappeared along with naïve eight-year-old me," she whispered. "How can I replace all that negative stuff when I'm completely filled on the inside with it?" she asked a bit wistfully. "I _can't_. I don't _deserve_ to. I…" Elsa's voice cracked and she didn't try to say anything more. _A girl who went and almost killed her sister shouldn't have positive thoughts and feelings about herself. It's wrong. It _was_ an accident, but…_

Anna's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Elsa. _What happened to her? Why on earth would she think she 'doesn't deserve to' think positive things about herself? That's horrible…Elsa sounded so broken and tired. I've gotta help her somehow._ "Elsa, whatever it is, it's gonna be ok. I know it will. I don't care what happened or what you did in the past, you do NOT deserve to feel like this about yourself. _If_ you did something bad in the past, which I highly, highly doubt, you're obviously sorry about it; so therefore you are not any of those rotten names I've heard you call yourself. A monster would not regret his or her actions. So, that is one thing you are most definitely not, no matter what you did that I don't know about," Anna told her. "Is it all right to touch your shoulder right now?"

Elsa nodded ever so slightly and said nothing. _Could Anna be right? What she said is logical, but…I STILL HURT HER! And she doesn't even know it. I don't know what's true and what's not anymore._ She felt Anna's hand lightly rubbing her shoulder, and wished she could give her sister a hug. _No, Elsa, don't you dare. You've let this go way too far already. No hugs. Period._ _I'm spending time with Anna and that's enough for me. _Elsa finally relaxed completely, just feeling content and sleepy now. "Thanks, Anna," she said quietly.

"You're welcome, Elsa." Anna realized her sister was actually relaxed and falling asleep now. _Well, I don't know if I helped her think of something good about herself, but at least she's happy right now._

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Elsa was fast asleep. Anna wasn't sure what to do; she knew Elsa would not want to sleep downstairs in the portrait room all night, but she also didn't want to wake Elsa up. Anna waited a few minutes more to make sure Elsa would not wake up before scooping Elsa up in her arms and staggering to her feet. Elsa was by no means heavy, but the two girls were almost the same size, Anna being the slightly shorter of the two, and so Anna had a hard time carrying her sister. <em>Don't wake up, Elsa, please don't wake up.<em>

Finally Anna made it upstairs to her sister's room. She debated on taking Elsa to her own room; then remembered that Elsa would probably be terrified if she woke up and found herself in Anna's room. So Anna gently put her sister down on her bed, pulled the blankets over her, and brushed a stray wisp of platinum hair out of her face. _Good night, Elsa. I love you. You deserve better than this, but I don't know what else to do…_ Anna tiptoed out of Elsa's room and pulled the door not-quite-shut behind her. _Just in case if Elsa wakes up, she won't think she's locked in there again._

* * *

><p><em>"Wait! Slow down!" eight-year-old Elsa shouted at her little sister.<em>

_ Five-year-old Anna didn't seem to hear and kept jumping. Elsa tried to keep up and accidentally hit Anna in the head with an ice blast as she fell. "ANNA!"_

_ "Who, me?" present-time Anna asked._

_ Little Elsa turned to see now-teenaged Anna. "Who are you? You look like…like Anna! I HURT HER!"_

_ "I'm Anna," present-time Anna said, puzzled. "How did you hurt me? You're just a little girl! And you look like my sister Elsa!"_

_ "I _am_ Elsa!" eight-year-old Elsa exclaimed. "Why are there two Annas?! And I hurt you 'cause of…'cause of…this!" The little girl stretched out a shaky hand holding a snowflake in her palm. "I HIT YOU! I HIT YOU! But it was an accident!" Elsa shrieked. "I swear I didn't do it on purpose!"_

_ Suddenly the older Anna disappeared, and little Elsa was left with unconscious five-year-old Anna. Elsa ran to Anna and hugged her close. "Where did big you go? Big you was alive and everything, so you can't be dead!" Elsa blinked in surprise as older Anna suddenly appeared right in front of her._

_ "You hit me in the head with ice," older Anna said flatly. "Is that unconscious girl me?"_

_ Eight-year-old Elsa had no idea what to think anymore. Which Anna was real? Anna was supposed to be younger than she was, so unconscious five-year-old Anna must be real. But she wanted older, conscious Anna to be reality. "Are you real?" Elsa asked older Anna._

_ "Why wouldn't I be?"_

_ Suddenly eight-year-old Elsa became her present-day self and five-year-old Anna disappeared. "Why did I grow? What happened?"_

_ "I came back in time to find out what happened to us when we were little. Now I know."_

_ Now eighteen-year-old Elsa stared at her sister in terror, wondering what she would think now that she knew what happened. "It was an accident," she whispered. "I swear I didn't mean it…please don't hate me…please…"_

_ "I don't hate you, Elsa. Anyone could see that was an accident."_

_ Elsa's tear-filled blue eyes stared at Anna. "You d-don't hate me?"_

_ "Nope. I'm…scared of you, though. You have ice powers that can be dangerous," Anna told her._

_ Elsa glanced down at her gloved hands. _I knew it was too good to be true,_ she thought._ She should be scared of me…_ "That kind of…hurts me on the inside. I know you're right, though. I AM dangerous! HOW CAN YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE I'M DANGEROUS AND NOT HATE ME?!"_

_ "Because it's not your fault," Anna said simply._

_ "Am I a monster?" Elsa asked hesitantly._

_ "No, you are not. Dangerous, yes. Monster, no."_

_ "Am I a freak, defective, and abnormal?" Elsa had no idea why she was asking; she just had to know what Anna thought._

_ Silence._

_ More silence._

_ "Please answer!" Elsa begged. "Please!"_

_ Silence._

_ Silence._

_ "ANSWER ME PLEASE!" Elsa screamed. "PLEASE!"_

Elsa's screaming woke her up. Still shaking, she glanced around at her dark surroundings and finally realized she was in her room. How had she gotten up here? The last thing she remembered was being in the portrait room with Anna. _Anna must have carried me upstairs! Why did she do that?_ Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on her nightstand and looked around her room. _My bad dreams usually end up making me leave way more snowy messes than this…not that I'm complaining._ Although there was snow all over her bed and a bit on the floor, it hadn't spread over the entire room as it usually did. Elsa had the sudden urge to run down the hall and ask real-life Anna the questions she'd asked dream-Anna. _But real-life Anna doesn't know about my problem._ She heard a knock on her door and immediately realized her door wasn't even shut all the way. "Don't come in!" she called frantically. Elsa dashed to shut the door, but before she could do so, Anna's hand grabbed her arm and yanked her into the hall. Elsa slammed the door shut behind her. _That was close. Anna almost saw that mess in my room._

"That's it, you're coming to MY room now," Anna said firmly, dragging her sister down the hall. "I could hear you screaming from all the way in my room. I'm not letting you deal with nightmares alone."

"But Anna, it's not safe! I can't sleep in there with you!" Elsa had no idea what to do; if she struggled to get away from Anna, she'd probably end up making ice or something through her efforts. So she reluctantly let Anna drag her down the hall.

"All right, you don't have to sleep in my room, but we're going to talk awhile first."

* * *

><p>When they arrived in Anna's room, Anna promptly sat Elsa down on her bed. "Now you talk," she demanded. "Then I get to convince you that everything's fine and then and only then will I let you go back to your room."<p>

Elsa looked down at her clasped hands resting in her lap. "Anna, am I…am I a freak, defective, and abnormal?" she blurted. _Now why did I say that? WHY DID I SAY THAT?! Anna doesn't even know what my problem is…_

"Look at me, Elsa," Anna said firmly.

Elsa wouldn't raise her gaze to meet Anna's eyes.

"Look at me, Elsa." Anna reached a finger toward Elsa and raised her sister's chin toward her. "That's better. Elsa, I don't know what's bothering you or what's making you call yourself those things. But here's the deal: I don't believe in the _least_ that you are ANY of those things, but just for argument's sake, let's say you were. Elsa, I WOULD NOT CARE. You're still my sweet and awesome sister, no matter what negative qualities you might have. I love you, no matter what."

_Anna means it. She really, really means it. I should tell her what's wrong with me…I can't…I can't stick Anna with that knowledge. It's selfish on my part._ Elsa didn't say anything, but she smiled a little. "Thank…you…Anna…"

"I mean, if we didn't have _some_ bad qualities, we wouldn't be human, right?" Anna asked, grinning. "Look at me! Wouldn't you say I'm impulsive and klutzy and don't think before I do things? I wouldn't call those exactly good qualities, but they're just part of what makes me _me_. And you're the same…you just have a different personality, so yours are different."

Elsa tilted her head to one side, as if she were considering what Anna had said. "Maybe…" _Anna might be right…I hope she is._ She covered a yawn with her hand.

"I know I'm right," Anna told her. "I can tell you're sleepy…go to sleep. You're welcome to stay in here if you like!"

"I better not," Elsa said. "Good night, Anna…and thank you." She tiptoed out of Anna's room and shut the door behind her. Halfway back to her own room, she felt the sudden urge to go back to Anna's room. _I can't do that. It's not safe._ Still, Elsa found her footsteps taking her back to her sister's room. Elsa curled up right outside Anna's door and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Anna nearly stepped on Elsa when she opened her door. <em>What's Elsa doing here?! And she usually wakes up first…<em> Anna gently shook Elsa's shoulder. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Elsa blinked sleepily up at Anna. "Is it morning?"

"Yeah. Elsa, why did you sleep outside my door all night?! I would have let you in!"

Elsa sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I couldn't…not safe…" She suddenly grew tense all over and jumped to her feet. "Anna-there's a storm coming!" she said, her frightened blue eyes darting to Anna, out a window and back again. Elsa took off at full speed down the hall back to her room, feeling herself becoming jumpy and antsy, which meant it wouldn't take much for her to lose control. _Mom and Dad…I hope they're okay!_

Anna chased after her. "Elsa, wait up! I'm not gonna make you go down to the lousy old dungeon for telling me that! I believe you!" She knocked on Elsa's door, waiting for an answer.

_That's not it. I just don't want to hurt you._ Elsa quickly locked her door, glad that it now locked on her side again.

Anna frowned when she heard the lock click. "Please don't shut me out again…"

Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Then she began speaking quickly, "Anna, I can't come out right now. It isn't a hurricane or tornado, but I think there are going to be strong winds and lots of rain. Go tell Gerda and Kai to put out buckets and mend leaky spots, please. Okay?"

"All right…Elsa, when are you coming out?"

"When the storm is over," Elsa replied. _I hope it doesn't last long…_

* * *

><p>But it kept raining for the next several days. Elsa was happy that Anna came to talk to her from out in the hall almost all day, every day; but she could tell Anna was getting a bit miffed. <em>I can't blame her. I'd be miffed too. After all, we were together again, and now it's all messed up again.<em> Elsa talked to Anna from inside her room, but it just wasn't the same. By the time the bad weather ended, it was the day their parents were supposed to return. Elsa's mood dropped to her toes. _I know I won't get any more time with Anna after they come back._ But they didn't show up.

"Elsa, they're obviously not coming tonight," Anna said. "Come on out just for this evening."

Elsa quickly obliged, thinking that she probably would never have any time with Anna again after tonight.

Anna squeezed Elsa's shoulder. "I missed you the last days. I know we still talked together, but it's not the same."

"I agree." Elsa smiled at Anna, and the two of them headed to the dining hall for dinner. "I missed you, too…"

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, their parents still hadn't returned. Elsa was growing worried. What had happened? "Anna, I'm certainly in no rush for them to come back since I'm going to lose you again, but I hope something didn't happen to them," Elsa said. <em>What if they got caught in the storm and the boat sank or something? It would be <em>my_ fault for letting them leave without even attempting to tell them about the storm…_

"They're probably just stuck somewhere," Anna said. "Delayed 'cause of the storm or something. Maybe they stayed in Weaseltown till the storm passed," she suggested.

Elsa couldn't help giggling. "It's 'Weselton', Anna. By the way, I think you know this already, but I do _not_ like that duke. He's sneaky and I still think he tries to cheat Arendelle for personal gain." Then her expression turned serious. _The thing is, according to my 'storm sense', which I highly, highly hope is wrong, that storm hit Mom's and Dad's ship's path first; then Weselton; before ever reaching Arendelle…which means they should be back by now…_

"Then it should definitely be 'Weaseltown'!" Anna smirked.

Elsa forced a smile. "True." _I really, really hope nothing happened..._

**A/N: Ok, Elsa's getting suspicious that something has gone wrong, but neither she nor Anna know for sure yet.**

**I just had to stick Rapunzel in there!;) I'm going with Rapunzel is cousins with Elsa and Anna.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon:)**

**P.S. The next chapter _might_ be T and _potential_ trigger warning. If you'd rather, please feel free to skip to chapter 24. I'll do a quick couple sentence recap of what happened so you still know what happened and stuff.:)**


	23. Abrupt Downward Spiral

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:) Over 10,000 views?! AWESOME!:)*jumps about like a crazy person***

**szczygowa-Thank you:)**

**bananas-rule-2015-The bouncing on the furniture was my sister's ideaXD I shall tell her you liked it! Well, hooray for all the readers...not so much hooray at Elsa and Anna...:P P.S. I know EXACTLY how I'm ending this..it's going to be post-movie, but literally like _mayyybe_ two or three days after AT MOST.:)**

**olaf99-Glad you enjoyed it:) Yes, I have thought about that, but I have two multi-chapter stories going right now AND the one-shot series...I'd better not start yet another one right now.:P I'll probably do it eventually, though:)**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thank you:) I'm glad both of them seemed 'believable':)**

**On to the story!:) (WARNING: Now, I'm actually not sure, but I'm gonna put this just in case...part of this chapter_ might_ be T, and _potential_ trigger warning. I have no idea...so, I'm putting a warning just in case:P) I think mostly it's overboard angst and depressing, though.:/ So, yeah...**

A few mornings later, Elsa found a just-arrived letter from Weselton waiting for her on her father's desk. "Maybe it's a message from our parents saying they got detained or something!" she told Anna, quickly breaking the wax seal and opening the letter.

"Good idea," Anna said, trying to peek over her sister's shoulder.

A moment later, the temperature in the room dropped about fifteen degrees and the letter fluttered to the floor. Elsa turned a horrified gaze to her sister.

"Elsa, what's wrong? What's the matter?! What did that letter say? And boy, it's cold in here all of a sudden," Anna said, rubbing her arms.

"Anna, they…they never arrived in Weselton," Elsa whispered. "They're lost. Lost at sea." _What have I done?!_ Elsa turned and ran from the room as fast as she could go.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna called, but Elsa wasn't listening, hadn't even heard her.

Elsa ran into her room, locked the door, and finally let out the tears she'd been holding in. _This is all my fault. They're dead because of _me_, because I didn't say anything about the storm. I've been playing with Anna for the last two and a half weeks, and for most of that time THEY WERE DEAD! How could I do that?! Not even trying to warn them about the storm was selfish. I knew them being gone for two weeks would give me two weeks of freedom, and I know that was one of the reasons I didn't say anything. Yeah, I didn't want to end up in the dungeon for two weeks, but it was also just because I wanted a bit of freedom. _"I'm a horrible person," she muttered. _I killed them! It's my fault!_ She heard Anna knocking on her door, but she ignored it. _I don't deserve to talk to Anna. What I did was rotten._

"Elsa, what…d-do you want me to do?" Anna asked. "We gotta have a service and stuff…and…and…this means you're in charge p-permanently now…You gotta t-tell me what to do or do it y-yourself…"

All Anna received in reply were louder sobs. Elsa lay flat on her bed, crying into her pillow, not knowing what to do. _This isn't real! It can't be real; it can't be!_ Ice spread over the floor and up the walls, and snowflakes began falling before stopping suspended in midair; but Elsa didn't notice, and if she had, she wouldn't have cared at that moment.

"All right, I'll just stay right out here till you tell me, Elsa," Anna said. She needed her sister's help; she had no idea how to deal with this on her own.

Elsa was now acting monarch of Arendelle at age eighteen whether she wanted to be or not (she most definitely did _not_), and she was the one who would have to make the final decision on things. Yes, she was three years underage, but her parents had made her regent, so since she was already the position that she should have had someone helping her from, she was on her own. _What am I going to do? This is all my fault, and I can't run Arendelle from behind closed gates! What do I do?!_ Well, one thing was certain. She could not change her parents' rules that had been in place; it was disrespectful to their memory and legacy. And yet she needed Anna's help. _Okay, so I can't follow those horrible rules completely. I will not ruin Arendelle. I _need_ Anna's help, so I will not ignore her entirely. Anna's going to be so confused with me…_

* * *

><p>An hour later, she finally composed herself enough to tell Anna, "Have a…memorial service…tomorrow…please…give a speech…telling what happened and their legacy for Arendelle…" Elsa noticed the ice and snow all over her room did not disappear at all or even start to melt. <em>Right now, I can't leave this room even if I want to. I'm sealed in with my own ice. Ironic.<em> Both the entrance to the secret passages and her actual door were sealed shut with ice.

"Elsa…_you're_ the one who's…supposed to give a speech…like that…Not me," Anna said. "You're Queen of Arendelle…now."

"_I CAN'T!_" Elsa screamed. "I'm stuck in here!" _Literally! I can't get out whether I want to or not! And don't remind me! I'm not ready to be queen yet!_ More ice spread over the floor and walls, and Elsa had no idea what to do.

Anna jumped back from the door at Elsa's sudden outburst. What was Anna supposed to do? _It's gonna look really odd if I go and give the speech and stuff…and I want Elsa out of there! _Anna suddenly had a sick feeling that her sister would not be coming out of there for a long, long time. _Not again. Please not again…_ "Elsa, please don't-"

"Go away, Anna! Just go!" Elsa cried. "You gotta take care of this! I'm not ready! I'm not; I'm not!" _I'm sticking an almost-fifteen-year-old with my responsibilities. You're stupid, Elsa. Really, really stupid. And thoughtless. And horrible. But I really, truly cannot get out of this room right now! _Elsa also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if she tried to attend her parents' funeral, she would also completely lose control and ice over everything in the vicinity. She couldn't let that happen. _I'm already out of control. I've literally imprisoned myself in my own room. With _ice_._

Anna bit her lip, not knowing what to say or do. She obviously wasn't going to get any help from Elsa, and she also thought it was wrong to leave Elsa right now. _Elsa sounded completely hysterical. I can't leave her right now. But who's gonna take care of stuff? Somehow I don't think Elsa is able to right now…and I have no idea how._ Anna tried to start talking again. "Elsa, do you think maybe you can-"

"I can't listen right now! Go away, Anna! Please go away! Please…" Elsa felt awful yelling at Anna, but she couldn't deal with even hearing her sister's voice right now. Anna had no idea that their parents were dead all because of something _Elsa_ had done-or not done, depending on how she looked at it. _What am I going to do? I'm eighteen years old and I've killed two people. Indirectly, but they're dead all the same. And they were MY OWN PARENTS! Anna would hate me if she knew what I did._ Elsa had completely forgotten just whose idea it had been to not give any more storm warnings in the first place.

Anna sighed and gave up-for the time being. _I'll go ask Gerda for help with the speech thing and whatnot. Elsa can't help right now; she's too broken up about the whole thing. I wish I could give her a hug. We ought to be together right now…_

* * *

><p>Elsa sat curled up in the window seat, wishing all that ice all over her room would start melting. It was nighttime now, and not a drop of water had slid down the walls. Even the still-missing window was now closed off by a sheet of ice. <em>Maybe they wouldn't have left in the first place if it wasn't because of me. One of the reasons they left was to try to find some way to cure me. Why didn't I just come right out and say 'There's no way to do that. You're stuck with a defective daughter for all eternity'? I should have. I was stupid and thoughtless. All I could think was 'Oh, wow, I get two weeks of freedom!' Dumb, dumb, dumb…<em> Elsa felt angry with herself for thinking that way, and angry with her now-dead parents for everything that had made her start thinking like that in the first place. _Maybe they wouldn't be dead if they hadn't done things like chaining me in the dungeon unfairly. Then maybe I would have been less hesitant about saying anything about that storm in the first place. Wait…ELSA, HOW CAN YOU THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! You _are_ a monster! You are! You're blaming your own parents for your own actions about not telling them about that storm. How can you do that?_

Elsa had no idea why, but she found herself jumping to her feet and pounding relentlessly on the sheet of ice where the window should have been. _Come on, ice, _break_! I hate you. I hate myself. Logical, right? You're part of me, ice, and I hate myself, so that makes complete sense. _She wanted that ice to break and shatter into a million pieces. But _of course_ it wouldn't. _Just because I want it to, it won't. Figures._ Elsa ignored the growing pain in her knuckles and continued pounding on the ice. Finally, finally, the ice shattered and Elsa relaxed. _So there. Ice will not beat me. It won't. _She stood in front of the missing window, holding her aching hands close to her chest. All she could see outside was darkness, a big empty nothing. _A black void, just like what's inside me. Nothing I do is going to bring them back. I won't miss those horrible stays in the dungeon one bit, but…WHY DIDN'T I SAY THERE WAS GOING TO BE A STORM?! I made a mistake and now I have to live with it. _"I wish I'd just _told_ them," she whispered. "At least then if they still didn't listen and the same thing happened, I could say I'd done all I could." Elsa plopped back down in the window seat and tried her best to just remove herself from reality.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Elsa found herself still sitting in the window seat, half-awake but half not. <em>Yesterday was just a nightmare, right?<em> A knock from Anna and her sister telling her to please come out so they could go to the funeral service together snapped her back to reality. _Not a nightmare. This is real._

"Elsa, please? I really, really don't want to go alone. I'll even do the speech thing like you wanted me to. I just want you with me," Anna said.

Elsa glanced around her room, knowing she was still sealed inside because of her own ice. _Even if I thought I could make it through the service without losing control, I can't even get out of here._ "Anna, I…I just _can't_. Please l-leave me a-alone…please…"

Anna frowned on the other side of the door, tugging at her itchy black dress. _This is not fair. I want my sister. Now it's not even just for her, I want Elsa out of there for _me._ It's always me trying to comfort her, but being with Elsa makes me happy too._ "I don't like being alone even if you do," she blurted. _But she _doesn't_ like being alone. Why did I tell her that? That was mean. _"I'm sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean it."

Elsa buried her face in her arms and cried silently. _But I _don't_ like being alone. I do want company. But I can't get out and I'm dangerous and they're dead because of me. Anna should just move on and forget me._

Anna sighed when she heard nothing from Elsa's side of the door. "I guess I'll go by myself then now…"

Elsa heard Anna's trudging footsteps fade away down the hall. Whatever small semblance of control Elsa had disappeared, and snow began swirling around the room. _Stop it, Elsa! Get it together. What do you think you're doing?!_ "I don't know! I can't do this; I can't, I can't!" _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel…_ Elsa paced back and forth in her room, trying to calm down. Finally the swirling snow stopped, leaving snowflakes suspended in midair once again. Elsa went to sit against her door, pulling her knees to her chest.

* * *

><p>Elsa was still in the exact same place when Anna knocked on her door a few hours later. <em>Anna, go away. I can't listen right now. Maybe someday, but not today.<em>

"Please, I know you're in there…"

_Yeah, but I can't come out. Go away, Anna. Please…_

"People are asking where you've been…"

Elsa frowned. Of course there were people asking where she had been. Nobody outside the castle had even _seen_ her since she was eight. They probably thought she was going to completely ruin their country. After all, she was only eighteen and she hadn't even gone to the funeral service. _What a mess of things I've made. Anna could-and is doing-a better job than me. Maybe she'd be better off without me._

"They say 'Have courage', and I'm trying to…I'm right out here for you. Just let me in…" _Elsa, please? Even just seeing you would be nice, _Anna thought.

_ I can't let you in. I can't because it's not safe, and I really, truly can't. I'm stuck in here. You should move on and forget me, Anna. _Elsa wished with all her heart that Anna would leave her alone right now. Just for now; maybe she wouldn't mind Anna talking to her later.

"We only have each other; it's just you and me…" Anna's voice grew quieter.

_You might have me, but I don't have you. I can't! I can't deal with this anymore. I killed Mom and Dad. Anna, you should hate me. You don't even know what I did. I don't deserve to have you out there trying to talk to me._ Elsa's thoughts grew more and more despondent the longer Anna tried to talk to her.

"What are we gonna do?" Anna turned and slid down to sit against the door on her side out in the hall.

_I don't know what we're going to do, Anna,_ Elsa thought._ You have a rotten, defective sister who's supposed to queen and doesn't know how to fix _any_ of the mess she's caused. You should just move on from me, because I'm not going to change. It's impossible._

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Elsa could barely hear Anna's last question and quiet sigh, but it was clear enough to Elsa's sharp ears. She rested her forehead on her knees on top of her crossed arms. _Yes, I do, but why did you ask me that, Anna? There's no snow on the ground outside. Just leave me alone. I wish I could leave and disappear forever. Anna could take care of Arendelle as long as someone helped her. She doesn't need me. I'm useless for anything and everything except hurting the people I care about. I should just relieve everyone of the trouble and leave myself._ Elsa found herself slipping off her gloves and holding a sharp shard of ice against her wrist. _I should tell Anna good-bye…_ "Good-bye, Anna…" she whispered.

Anna jumped to her feet on the other side of the door. She'd been talking to Elsa for a while now, and _that_ was the only thing her sister said? Anna remembered what Elsa had been thinking about before (which Elsa _said_ she wasn't going to do), and immediately realized what her sister was doing. "Elsa, don't you _dare_ do that! You promised me you wouldn't!" She had no idea what to do. Anna tried Elsa's door, but it was locked, and unknown to her, also frozen shut. _Elsa, please don't. I love you. You don't have to do that._

Elsa stopped what she was doing and just watched the thin red line on the pale skin of her wrist. _I did tell Anna that. I shouldn't break my promise. But she doesn't know what I did!_

The silence on Elsa's side of the door made Anna nearly hysterical. "Elsa, please! I love you! I care about you! Don't do it! You are not worthless or any of those other horrid things I know you think about yourself! Elsa? _Elsa!_"

_Anna loves me…she cares about me…but… _"You don't…know what I did," Elsa whispered.

_All right, at least I got her to say something,_ Anna thought. "I don't care what you did. You do _not_ deserve to die. You're my sister! I'd be devastated if you weren't around anymore. I love you, Elsa!" Anna noticed Gerda walking down the hall and ran over to her. "Gerda, Elsa's got a super big problem…you gotta get in there and help her! She won't let me in, and I'm like 99.9999% sure she's trying to commit s-s…well, you know…"

Gerda looked at Anna in shock. "Well, there's no time to lose then. Run down to your room for now. I'll take care of your sister." Gerda knew Elsa probably wouldn't let Anna in because of a control issue.

Anna reluctantly ran down to her own room. _Elsa, please be ok…_

* * *

><p>Gerda quickly began removing Elsa's door from its hinges, figuring that the door was iced shut, which was true. "Princess Elsa?" she asked, using Elsa's usual title instead of calling her 'queen', thinking that she probably didn't want to be reminded of that.<p>

Elsa sat on the floor, still staring at her wrist, not doing anything else. _Why is Gerda here? Why is anyone bothering with me? They should just let me be. _She flinched when she heard the ice that had been on her door shatter.

Gerda took one look at Elsa and knew Anna's assumption had been right. "Princess Elsa, drop the piece of ice. Just drop it." She knew it wasn't her place to give Elsa orders, but this was a special situation.

Elsa's tear-filled blue eyes looked up at Gerda. "Why? I think it'd be best if I just disappear…"

"_No_, princess. You're wrong. I know you're upset right now, but things will get better. Don't do that to yourself."

Elsa glanced from her bleeding wrist to the ice shard in her other hand and then up at Gerda. _I don't think things can ever get better. I can't bring back Mom and Dad. They're dead, and it's _my_ fault… _"But…you don't know what I did…"

Gerda went into Elsa's bathroom and came back with a wet cloth and bandages. "Then how about you just say what you did. Maybe it isn't as bad as you think."

Elsa paused before answering, "My…storm sense…I knew there was a storm coming…and I didn't warn Mom and Dad before they left. They're dead because of _me! _It's all my fault!" _Now Gerda's going to think I'm horrible too. Maybe she'll leave me alone. Why didn't I say anything to them before they left? Why?_

Gerda knelt next to Elsa and took the ice shard away from her. "Princess, do you really, sincerely believe your parents would have believed you if you had warned them? Think carefully before you answer, now," she said, appealing to the logical side of Elsa's mind.

Elsa frowned. "Well…no, not really. I'd have probably ended up in the dungeon again. _But I still should have at least TRIED!_" She winced as Gerda pressed the wet cloth against the cut on her wrist. _I shouldn't let Gerda do that. I'm going to end up hurting her. I'm so, so tired of worrying about everything…_

"Let's just say you warned them, they didn't believe you, and you ended up in the dungeon for the next two weeks. The storm still came, and they still died. That's the exact same outcome, Princess Elsa. At least this way, you had some happy time with your sister, right?"

Elsa said nothing. _I was still being selfish. But I did promise Anna I wouldn't do what I almost did. I _will not_ break my promise to her. It's not her fault I am the way I am. I know Anna would be really upset if I did that…I'm not going to be the cause of Anna feeling like that._ "Gerda, you shouldn't touch me anymore…what if I hurt you?"

"Nonsense. You need help right now, princess." Gerda ignored Elsa's protests and continued taking care of her wrist.

Elsa sighed and didn't say anything more. She felt too tired to make any more of a fuss. "Why do you and Anna still care about me?" she asked quietly.

"Because you don't care for yourself, and someone needs to." Gerda gently finished bandaging Elsa's injured wrist. "Look what you did to yourself. You need someone to keep you from doing such things and tell you the truth, that you are _not_ worthless or any of those other names you call yourself."

"Thank you, Gerda…I-I think I'd have regretted finishing what I started," Elsa whispered, fingering the bandage wrapped snugly around her wrist. _Only because of Anna, though. I almost left her because of a horrible reckless impulse…And Gerda and Anna don't know what they're talking about. I am all those bad names, no matter how much I wish otherwise._ "Tell Anna I said…I'm sorry f-for not going to the s-service with her," she added, trying to hold back her tears but failing miserably.

"You can tell her yourself, Princess Elsa. Because you are not spending the night alone tonight."

Elsa just stared at Gerda. "I have to! If I go sleep in Anna's room, I might lose control while I'm sleeping or something!" _And I might hurt her or something…_

"Princess Elsa, you don't lose control when you spend time with your sister. You spent a lot of time with her during those two weeks and never lost control once that I saw."

"But I was conscious! I wasn't _sleeping_," Elsa said, trying to explain. "I have bad dreams all the time and I always end up losing control and waking up to snow and ice all over my room…"

"You probably won't have bad dreams in the first place if you sleep in the same room with Princess Anna," Gerda told her. "Look, princess, your sister sleeps like a log anyway. How's this? I'll stay in the room with you two, and if I see you starting to lose control, I'll wake you up and you can come back to your own room."

Elsa thought for a long minute before finally saying, "Okay…But only for tonight." _I shouldn't spend time with Anna anymore. I don't deserve it. But surely it'd be all right just once?_ She slowly got to her feet and went to pull a nightgown out of her dresser. "I'm so tired…do you think Anna would mind if I went to sleep now?" she asked.

"I think she'll just be happy to see you, princess. I'll go out in the hall and wait for you to change."

"Okay." Elsa quickly pulled off her dress and put her blue nightgown on instead; then pulled her hair down into a single braid. Her wrist still stung, but she figured she deserved it after trying something like that. _I'm glad Anna stopped me and got Gerda. Anna's smart…all I even said was 'Goodbye, Anna'… Thank goodness I didn't think more and leave a note or something instead of saying that to Anna._ She shuddered, thinking of what might have happened if she had thought that whole thing out further before doing anything. Elsa tiptoed out into the hall. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be…" She gave Gerda a hint of a smile.

"Of course you're ready." Gerda led her down the hall, stopping in front of Anna's room. "Princess Elsa, do you want to do it?" she asked, referring to knocking on the door.

Elsa shook her head. "I can't…right now…Maybe another time."_ Stupid girl. Why can't you even knock on your sister's door, Elsa? What a chicken._

Gerda knocked lightly on Anna's door and said, "You have a visitor, Princess Anna."

* * *

><p>Inside her room, Anna knew that 'visitor' could only be one person. She jumped off her bed and ran to open the door. Sure enough, there was her sister standing in the hall. Anna resisted the urge to grab Elsa and give her a hug, but she did grab Elsa's arm and pull her into the room. She briefly wondered why Elsa was wearing her nightgown; then figured that her sister was just tired. Anna's eyes spotted the bandage around Elsa's wrist, and she promptly made a face. <em>Oh, Elsa…why did you do that? I'm just glad I figured out what she was doing before she did anything else.<em> "If you're tired, Elsa, you can go to sleep in my bed. I won't mind. I'll stay wayyy away from you and I won't bother you or make too much noise," Anna told her.

Elsa gave Anna a grateful smile, and practically fell into bed. "I 'ppreciate what you did…Anna," she said softly, pulling the covers up to her chin. _I don't know why Anna treats me the way she does, but I know I have someone who cares what happens to me in her. I'll figure out how to take care of my country, too. I will not fail. I might still have to ignore her most of the time because I need to hold up Mom and Dad's legacy and it's not safe, but I'm not breaking down again. I won't._ Elsa sighed and curled up into a ball. _I'll figure out my problem eventually. And then I'll be able to tell Anna why everything has been like this all this time._

* * *

><p>Anna watched her sister fall asleep, as if she were some kind of special protector watching over Elsa. <em>I'm gonna make sure Elsa doesn't get so upset that she tries something like that again. I love her. <em>"Gerda, is Elsa all right? She didn't hurt herself _too_ much, did she?" Anna asked, eying Elsa's bandaged wrist. "Well, I mean, anything is too much, but Elsa's going to be fine, right?"

"She had a nasty cut, but it's going to heal just fine," Gerda assured her. "There were also some bruises on her hand, too, but I don't know where those came from. Princess Elsa is going to be fine."

Anna frowned. _Elsa, why would you do that to yourself? It's just…wrong. You didn't do anything wrong, except for doing that to yourself._ She wanted to give Elsa a hug, but she didn't dare. At least not right now; she'd have to wait until Elsa was more deeply asleep. Anna carefully climbed on the bed next to Elsa, being careful not to shake the bed or wake her sister up. "Thanks for helping Elsa, Gerda."

"There's no need for thanks, princess. Everyone owes you a thank-you actually, for getting help for Princess Elsa."

"Isn't Elsa really queen now?" Anna asked.

"Well, yes, technically, but she won't be legally coronated until she's twenty-one. Also, I would suggest don't remind her of the fact that she's queen," Gerda said.

Elsa stirred a bit in her sleep and reached for Anna. "…sorry…love you, Anna…wish I could fix ev'rything…" she mumbled.

Anna hesitated before taking Elsa's outstretched hand. "Everything's gonna be fine, Elsa. Everything's gonna be fine. I love you, too," she said softly. _Elsa, please don't wake up. Or if you do, please don't freak out. I'm right here for you. You don't have to do anything like that EVER again._

Elsa seemed to relax as she pulled Anna's hand close and held it with both of her own. She didn't say anything else, though.

Anna was more puzzled than ever. Elsa was adamant that Anna stay far, far away from her hands, and yet here was Elsa clutching Anna's hand close as if her life depended on it. _Which_, Anna noted sadly,_ is kind of true…_ "Gerda, why does Elsa usually not like anyone touching her, especially her hands?" she whispered. "And why does she wear gloves all the time?"

"I believe those are questions only your sister should answer," Gerda said carefully. "I would suggest holding off on such questions for awhile…"

Anna nodded and didn't say anything. _Elsa needs help and support right now. And I'm gonna give it to her whether she wants it or not._

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Elsa stirred awake and was greatly surprised to find out she was holding Anna's hand. She immediately released Anna's hand and held her own against her chest. "Anna, I…I didn't hurt you, did I?" she asked. <em>Please tell me I didn't…please…<em>

"Of course you didn't, Elsa," Anna assured her. "You've just been sleeping quietly, holding my hand, all the time. You're fine. Do you feel a little better now?"

"I guess so…I don't feel worse anyway." Elsa started to pull herself to a sitting position, but Anna pushed her shoulders back down against the pillows. "You shouldn't touch me, Anna…" she said quietly.

"Maybe you ought to sleep some more, till you feel all the way better. And you aren't gonna hurt me, Elsa. You just held my hand for hours and nothing happened," Anna tried to tell her.

Elsa turned her face away from Anna. "I'm never going to feel all the way better," she muttered. _I can't bring Mom and Dad back. I know they were unfair to me sometimes, but I still care about them and I can't help but wonder if I could have stopped them from leaving. And I hurt Anna when we were little!_

"Yes, you will, Elsa. You _will_. It might take a long time, but I'm gonna make sure I help you feel all the way better," Anna said firmly. "Does your wrist still hurt?"

Elsa lifted her injured wrist and held it in front of her face. "Eh, it stings, but it's all right, I suppose. I mean, I did cut it pretty badly. It's fine." She shrugged and laid it back on the bed. _Why does Anna even care? And she's not mad at me? If I was Anna, I'd be furious at me for doing that…_

_She's acting like it's no big deal, that it doesn't matter… _"Elsa, don't you ever, _ever_ do something like that again!" Anna exclaimed. "You promised me you wouldn't, and I want to believe that." Anna laid a hand on her sister's shoulder, remembering that was ok with Elsa, but nothing else.

Elsa closed her eyes and said nothing for a moment. Then she looked back at Anna and said, "I don't intend to…because I don't want to make you upset…" _And Anna would be upset about nothing. I'm still not going to do that to her, though…_

Anna frowned. _The reason Elsa won't do that again is because she doesn't want to make me upset?! Elsa doesn't care about herself at all…_ "Well, you just remember that I love you lots and lots, and that you are not not NOT worthless, no matter what." She paused before adding, "And Gerda said you had bruises on your hand. What happened?"

_Bruises? I didn't even notice…I know exactly what that's from though…_ Elsa blushed as she said, "I got mad and I…beat up on something hard. Guess I did it a little too much, huh?" She gave Anna a small smile and didn't say anything more. _That was a silly and immature thing to do. Beating up on ice…_

"You're supposed to beat up on pillows or something soft when you're mad, not something hard!" Anna scolded. "What did you do it to, the wall?"

"Not exactly. Please don't ask me anymore," Elsa replied. _I don't want to try explaining about the ice…_

Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "It's all right, Elsa. You don't have to think about it any more."

"Thank…you…Anna," Elsa murmured sleepily. _Why am I so tired?_

Anna realized her sister was falling asleep again and wondered if Elsa had slept at all the night before. Anyway, she was not going to disturb her sister, even if she would rather talk to Elsa longer instead. _I love you, Elsa. I wish I could get you to understand that; that you're really, truly worth caring about, too._ _I thought we were making some progress, but the whole shipwreck-slash-lost at sea thing has hurt Elsa all over again. I'm gonna help her no matter what. There isn't anything or anyone to stop me this time. _She glanced at the clock, noticing it was actually late and time to go to sleep herself now. Anna slid off the bed, being careful not to shake the bed and wake Elsa up. Then she got ready for bed herself before sliding into bed next to Elsa. Anna made sure to stay _way_ over on her half of the bed, just in case Elsa should wake up, so that she didn't freak out. "Good night, Elsa," she whispered.

Elsa didn't reply, but she smiled, as if Anna's words had somewhat registered to her.

**A/N: Ok, if you made it down here, I'm assuming I didn't offend you or anything.:) This is AS DARK AS IT GETS, I promise.:P I still can't believe I wrote this chapter...**

**I'd love comments on whether the whole thing is written properly or not (and the rating thing!). 'Cause I really, really don't want to raise the rating for part of one chapter.:P**

**Next chapter coming soon, and I promise it's a happier one:)**


	24. Close Again,,,But Not Too Close

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing.:)**

**WHY IN THE WORLD DOES EVERYONE LIKE MY DEPRESSING CHAPTERS?!:P 'Great', 'entertaining, 'tense', 'enjoyed'...okay then.:) Thanks for all the positive words, guys/gals/whoever you are:P:)**

**olaf99-I don't like making my readers cry.:/ Although I guess that means it was written well, right?:P Thanks, I'm glad you like my story:)**

**Optomistic-That's what I thought too. Warnings and then something happens anyhow are two big thumbs down to _anyone._ Personally I'd probably be really mad, but I didn't think that was really in character for Elsa. (Well, ok, she got a _little_ mad, but mostly upset.:/) I tried to make Elsa's reasoning for her actions believable-I guess I did if you understood why.:P Elsa needs a great big hug...I haven't got anything else to say.:/**

**Fatten Saad-Thanks:) I'm still a bit glad Elsa and Anna don't have to deal with their parents anymore.:P Although yeah, since neither of them actually _disliked_ their parents, both Elsa and Anna just got upset instead.:/**

**WarriorQueen 14-Thanks for the feedback about the trigger warning thing.:P I know Elsa and Anna spending lots of time together can't last forever since I still want the movie events to happen like they should, but I thought they needed a bit of time together after that.:) (Plus, I was thinking that Elsa really can't be left alone at the moment anyway. If they were in our world, Elsa would probably have to go to the hospital, I'm sure.:/) So...that's my excuse for letting Elsa and Anna spend a bit of time together.:)**

**ElsaIsAmazing-Thank you:) I'm glad both Elsa and Anna seemed believable:) And thanks for the idea. *fixes chapter 22* Ta-da, all fixed;) **

**_CHAPTER 23 RECAP: For anyone who decided to skip the last chapter...Elsa and Anna found out their parents were lost at sea. Elsa accidentally froze her room and attempted (a not very well thought out) suicide, but Anna stopped her. [no, she didn't find out about Elsa's powers.] Elsa went to sleep in Anna's room, annnddd...that's where this chapter picks up._**

**On to the story!:) Now we get some happy stuff for most of the chapter*yay***

Later that night, Elsa woke up with a start at some loud noise. _I didn't lose control, did I?! No, I didn't…wait, Anna's the one who's yelling this time. Not me._ Elsa bit her lip, wondering what to do. She didn't dare touch Anna with her hands, so she poked her elbow at Anna instead. "Anna, wake up! It's just a dream! Please…"

Anna thrashed about and accidentally smacked Elsa in the face.

"Ow!" Elsa exclaimed, jerking backwards. _Good grief, Anna whacked me in the face that one time when she was little, too._ She couldn't be mad though; Anna didn't even know what she was doing. Elsa fumbled to light the kerosene lamp on Anna's nightstand; then hesitantly poked Anna with her elbow again and said, "Wake up, Anna…please wake up!"

To Elsa's relief, Anna finally woke up, blinking in confusion. "Wait, what? What…why?! What the-what happened? Oh, thank goodness you're ok, Elsa!" Anna said all in one breath. Without thinking, she threw her arms around Elsa and hugged her close.

Elsa tensed up all over. _Elsa, don't you dare lose control. Anna doesn't even really realize what she did._ "Anna, I'm going to…try to help, but you _have_ to let go…of me first. I feel really, really…uncomfortable…"

Anna immediately released Elsa once she realized what she was doing. _Oops, big oops. I'm surprised Elsa didn't hightail it out of here. Good job, Elsa._ "Sorry, Elsa. I know that was way, _way_ too much for you. I just…there was this horrible dream, and I thought you were…and I…that is, we…well, I'm just so, so glad you're sitting right there and you're ok…" Anna started rambling.

"Well, um…I'm no expert on trying to make someone feel better, but maybe you could…tell me what happened?" Elsa suggested, holding her hands clasped together in her lap. She had absolutely no idea how to comfort Anna or calm her down. _Anna asked me to tell her what happened what it was me with the bad dream, so I think that's what I'm supposed to do now. I hope, anyways._

"Mom and Dad came back and found out what you were trying to do earlier and you thought they weren't real and they just let you go through with it and I couldn't do anything and IT WAS HORRIBLE!" Anna explained in a rush. _Wait a second…I'm over here fussing over a bad dream and poor Elsa is the one who literally tried to get rid of herself hours ago. And yet she's still trying to comfort _me._ Something's wrong with that picture…_

Elsa bit her lip, wondering what to say now. "Um…it wasn't real, Anna? Oh, Anna, I'm so bad at this! I don't know how to comfort other people. I don't even know how to comfort myself most of the time…which I guess is quite obvious…" _Elsa, you're Anna's older sister. Figure out what to say._ _That bad dream is partly your fault. _"Well…uh, I have no intentions of trying…anything like that again, so…that would never happen anyway."

Anna's heart went out to her sister, who was trying so hard to help Anna, even though she didn't really know how. _Elsa's clumsy comforting attempts really do make me happy, though. She's just too much…the silly girl never thinks of herself. She didn't go and say 'Good grief, Anna, you're so immature. How do you think _I_ feel?' or something. And she could have. It'd be totally understandable._ "Thanks, Elsa," she told her, giving her a smile.

"I helped?!" Elsa asked in surprise. _I was worried I was making things worse._

"Of course you did, Elsa. Why wouldn't you have?"

Elsa's face lit up. "I helped you, Anna!" she exclaimed happily. "I really did it!" _I helped Anna! I didn't really know how, but I did it anyway._

Anna smiled back at Elsa, thinking that she sounded like a very pleased and excited five-year-old, but Anna was certainly not going to tell Elsa that. Not when she was genuinely happy at the moment. "I'm glad you're happy, Elsa. You look totally over the moon at the moment!"

Elsa gave Anna a quizzical look. _Over the moon? Oh, oh yeah…idiom. Okay, I got it._ _Duh, Elsa! _"I had to think what you meant by 'over the moon' for a moment," she said sheepishly. "I forgot it was an idiom."

"Oops."

"Oops is right! Next time, warn me and say, 'idiom alert!' or something," Elsa responded in a deadpan voice. The only thing that gave away that she was teasing was the smile on her face. _Anna makes me so happy. I don't deserve to feel this happy, but I do anyway right now._

"We should hit the sack. Idiom alert!" Anna said, giggling. _Boy, sometimes Elsa can be so funny. I wish she joked around more often._ The only thing that dampened the moment for Anna was seeing Elsa's bandaged wrist, because it reminded her of what had almost happened to her sister the day before. (_Yes, it's after midnight, so it's yesterday now_, Anna noted.)

"Exactly, we should…go meet the sandman. Idiom alert!" Elsa replied, now giggling herself._ This is great. I love spending time with Anna. I wish it could be like this all the time, but I can't. It'd be wrong…still, I'll NEED help with government stuff. Maybe Anna and I could sneak a few jokes and fun stuff in when I work on that._ Right that second, Elsa decided that she would spend most of her time in her room and not reply to Anna; but whenever she had to take care of important business, she'd make sure Anna was there too. That way she wasn't disrespecting her late parents, but she wouldn't lose Anna completely, either. _It's better than no Anna at all, anyways,_ she told herself. Maybe she'd eat her meals with Anna too…after all, a girl had to eat, right? And somehow food was so much more appealing when she got to eat it with someone, especially her sister.

"Elsa, I forgot about the sandman! Do you remember when I believed he was real no matter how much you went on and on that he was pretend?" Anna asked. "Looking back now, it was hilarious. And then one time when I bugged you wayyy too much when you were trying to go to sleep, you said, 'Ooh, Anna, the sandman's gonna get you!' and THEN I was like, 'But you said he's not real, Elsa!'"

Elsa thought for a moment before laughing at the memory. "Typical big sis/little sis conversation, right?" she said. "How old were we? Three and six?" Then her expression grew serious and she added, "But Anna, I can't believe I actually wanted you to go away and leave me alone then…what a dumb little kid I was…I _hate_ telling you that now…" _I was naïve and stupid; that's what…_

"Elsa, you were a six-year-old girl trying to sleep while her toddler sister jumped all over her attempting to wake her up. You can't get mad at yourself for that," Anna replied. _Great, now I've made Elsa think of something that makes her upset…_

Elsa smiled faintly. _I guess that's true. But now I would rather be completely safe for Anna to be around and have her jump all over me every time I try to go to sleep than have our present reality. _"Your three-year-old self would have objected quite strongly to being called a toddler," she said.

Anna giggled and yawned. "You're funny, Elsa. I like your sense of humor."

"Thanks, Anna." Elsa found herself yawning now too. "I guess yawns are contagious?"

"Yeah…c'mon, Elsa, let's go to sleep. I love you."

Elsa turned out the lamp and scooched down under the covers. "I love you, too, Anna…thank you for saving me," she said quietly. "You're the best sister anyone could ever have." _I can never repay Anna for what she did, but I'm going to try. I can at least tell her thank-you._

"So are you, Elsa. You are really, really misguided sometimes, but I know you care about me and do your best about stuff. Like earlier, I could tell you had no idea how to comfort me about that icky dream, but you tried-and did!-anyway. And you could've gotten annoyed because I was fussing about a dumb dream and _you_ were the one who literally tried to…you-know-what; but you just tried to make_ me_ feel better instead," Anna told her.

"Anna, bad dreams aren't something to sneeze at. They can bother you for ages and make it hard to fall asleep. Believe me, I know…I think it was the least I could do to try to make you feel better," Elsa said.

"Still, dumping my issue on _you_ wasn't very thoughtful on my part. You've got enough stuff to deal with…" Anna yawned, then added, "'Scuse me."

_Boy, do I ever…Anna doesn't even know my biggest problem…_ "I don't care; making you feel better made me happier too. G'night, Anna," Elsa replied.

"Good night, Elsa."

Elsa smiled and scooted all the way over to the edge of the bed as far away from Anna as possible. _Don't want to hurt Anna…I don't think I will though…I'm happy right now._

* * *

><p>To Anna's surprise, Elsa was still fast asleep when she woke up the next morning. "Gerda, what time is it?" Anna asked, noticing that Gerda was still in the room from the night before. She briefly wondered why, but decided that it was probably to keep an eye on Elsa, which was true.<p>

"Almost ten in the morning. Yes, before you ask, your sister usually wakes up quite a bit earlier, but I figured she needed to sleep," Gerda said.

Anna frowned and glanced over at Elsa. "Yeah, she does. I don't wanna wake her up."

Just then, Elsa stirred and blinked in confusion at the ceiling. _Where am I? This isn't my room…wait, this is Anna's room…_ "Why am I in Anna's room?" she asked, pulling herself to a sitting position. "Oh…I remember now…Anna, I'm so sorry…I, well…I don't know…" _I can't even explain it. I should not have tried to do that. If anything, just so I don't make Anna all upset._

Anna reached to give Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Maybe you can try explaining again later. I'll be right here for you whenever you're ready."

"Thank you for not…pressing the issue, Anna." Elsa looked down at her hands and then promptly ducked her bandaged wrist under the covers, not wanting to see it anymore. _I don't know how to explain it. Why _did_ I try that? That was an awful and rash decision on my part. Stupid. I can't leave Anna with trying to run Arendelle herself. That's my job now._

"Um…d'you want some breakfast?" Anna asked.

Elsa blushed when her tummy made some rather loud noises. "Evidently yes. I do apologize for being so…rude." She glanced at Anna when she heard her start giggling. "Oh, Anna, your hair is _crazy_-looking right now!" Elsa exclaimed, starting to giggle herself. "It looks like you've got a family of little animals nesting in it!"

"Oh, this?" Anna said, patting her hair as if it were the latest style. "Didn't you know? Nesting places for little animals is the latest style! Everybody's wearing their hair like this!"

"I think I'll stay out of style then," Elsa replied, thinking Anna's antics were downright hilarious.

"Suit yourself."

"Girls don't wear suits," Elsa shot back.

"What about birthday suits?"

"_ANNA!_" Elsa squealed in embarrassment. "Seriously, you did _not_ just say that!"

"Seriously, I did. Why not? That's what everyone on the whole planet takes a bath in, right?" Anna said, still giggling.

"Indubitably," Elsa admitted. _It's a good thing nobody is in here to hear this conversation except Gerda. That'd be very embarrassing._

"Wait, what?"

"Wait, what what?"

"Wait what what…wait, _what_?" Anna asked, now mixing herself up.

"Wait what what, wait what what?" Elsa quickly replied. "Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this…" she added.

Anna was simultaneously annoyed that Elsa had completely befuddled Anna's original question's intention and pleased to see that sassy little smirk back on her sister's face. _Well, Elsa's pleased with herself at the moment. That's a VERY good thing, anyways. She thinks word games are the most amusing thing ever. _Thinking carefully for a minute before replying, Anna said, "Wait what what, wait what what? Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this. So can I, Elsa. You wanna admit defeat yet?"

Elsa smiled, quickly processing Anna's addition to the speech. "Wait what what, wait what what? Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this. So can I, Elsa. You wanna admit defeat yet? And the Word Queen's resounding answer is no way! Switch-ay to-hay ig-pay atin-lay?" Elsa thought switching to pig Latin might make her sister lose their game faster.

_Whoa, Elsa's good at this,_ Anna thought. "Wait what what, wait what what? Y'know, Anna, I can keep going a _long_ time with this. So can I, Elsa. You wanna admit defeat yet? And the Word Queen's answer is no way. Switch-ay to-"

"The Word Queen reigns supreme!" Elsa exclaimed, interrupting. "You forgot 'resounding' from when I said 'and the Word Queen's resounding answer is no way'."

Anna pouted for a second before smiling at Elsa. _I'm not gonna make Elsa feel bad for winning a silly game. She deserves to pat herself on the back for once, even if it's over something so silly._ "Want to get some breakfast now?"

Elsa smiled back and nodded. "I'll just run down to my room and change my clothes first, okay?" _My room is probably still full of ice and snow. Terrific. _Elsa swung her legs off the bed and started to stand up; then promptly sat back down when the room seemed to spin around her. She blinked and shook her head. "Okay, take two here…" _That was really odd. Maybe I'm still tired or something, I don't know._

"Are you all right?" Anna asked.

"I think I just stood up too fast." Elsa's theory proved correct when she stood up this time with no issues.

"Mmkay…but I'm still gonna keep an eye on you anyway," Anna said, giving Elsa a smile.

Elsa smiled back before going down the hall to her own room.

* * *

><p>The first thing Elsa noticed when she stepped into her room was that the now-reinstalled door wouldn't lock. Elsa frowned before realizing it was probably because whoever had put it back on knew what happened and thought she might try it again. <em>Well, I'm not. I won't. Because of Anna. As long as she's around, I know I can deal with anything. <em>She decided she was going to have a talk with Gerda about that lock; no lock at all was just as creepy to her as the door locking on the outside. _I want my privacy, thank you very much._

The second thing Elsa noticed was that every bit of the snow and ice had completely disappeared. Not just melted into puddles all over the floor. Completely, utterly vanished. Elsa just stared in shock. She had expected all that mess to take _days_ to melt. _What in the world happened?! I certainly don't mind…I'm not complaining, but what did it?! Is it simply because I wasn't in here last night or what? Oh, who cares why, it's gone and I don't have to look at it any more._ Elsa quickly pulled a dress out of her closet and put it on before brushing out her hair and rebraiding it. She made a face at herself in the mirror before twisting the braid into a bun and pinning it in place. _I still like my single braid better…_ Elsa was just getting ready to head back to Anna's room when she heard a knock on the door.

"Princess Elsa? Are you all right in there?" Gerda asked.

Elsa sighed and opened the door. "I'm _fine_. I was just getting ready to come back to Anna's room…Where are the tools for altering the locks? _Something_ has happened to mine," she said, giving Gerda a meaningful look that said _I know exactly what happened to it._

"They've been put away, princess." Figuring (correctly) that Elsa just wanted her privacy, Gerda added, "_No one_ is going to come in unless you give express permission, except if you need help again."

"I'm not going to do that again!" Elsa complained. "No lock at all creeps me out. If I don't get my lock back, I'm going to freeze the area around the doorknob every time I come in here instead."

"Princess, just for a while, please. Just to soothe your old servant's nerves, hmm?"

"Well…okay," Elsa agreed, albeit reluctantly. _Now that I'm thinking about it, Gerda has been more of a mother to me than my real mother. This is one thing I can do for her. _"But make sure Anna knows she can't come in unless I say she can…"

"She knows that already. I quote Princess Anna, 'Anything that's gonna make sure Elsa's ok', unquote."

Now Elsa smiled. _I'm…somewhat okay. I have something to be okay for now though. I'm going to be okay for Anna._ She took a deep breath before asking, "Gerda…do you think it's disrespectful to my parents' memory to not stay in my room twenty-four seven and ignore Anna? I don't think I can…deal with that again…I just feel like since it's partly my fault they died, then I should try to…honor their memory?" Elsa looked down at her hands and fiddled with her dress sleeve, trying to make sure her bandaged wrist was covered.

"Princess Elsa, it is _not_ your fault they died. You yourself told me outright that they would not have listened to you if you had warned them. If you want my honest opinion, princess, you should spend as much time with your sister that you're comfortable with," Gerda told her.

"I can eat meals with Anna?" Elsa asked hopefully.

Gerda frowned at her. "Princess Elsa, do whatever you want, for goodness sakes!" _She's the new queen of Arendelle and she's asking permission to eat in the dining hall…_

Just then, Anna came running down the hall. "Elsa, are you coming down for breakfast?"

Elsa looked at Gerda, who nodded at her to tell her to go ahead. "Yes…I can do that. I _can_ do that." _As much time with Anna as I'm comfortable with,_ she told herself.

Gerda headed downstairs, saying that she would fix the two girls' breakfasts in a jiffy.

* * *

><p>Elsa stepped into the hall with Anna, pulling her door shut behind her. "I want my lock back soon," she told Anna.<p>

"Yeah, well…about that…please don't be mad, but it was kinda my idea," Anna said, blushing a little. "I wanted to make sure you absolutely, positively could NOT be alone if something made you that upset again, even if you wouldn't open the door…"

_Figures. I believe it too; that's just like Anna to do something like that. _"Anna…I _will not_ do that again. I have something to keep me okay, sane, rational, in my right mind, whatever you want to call it. That something is _you_. I know that now." Elsa replied, looking her sister straight in the face.

Anna smiled at her sister. _Good grief, what a responsibility Elsa just gave me. If I'm the thing that's keeping her going, then I'm going to make sure I'm ALWAYS there for her. Always, always, always._ "Elsa…if you don't wanna answer this, it's ok, I'll understand. But why exactly did you try that?"

Elsa bit her lip and turned away from Anna. _I should tell her. She probably deserves to know; they were her parents too…but what if she hates me for it? _"Anna, I…that is…ifItellyouwillyoupleasenothateme?" she blurted in a rather Anna-like manner.

Anna reached to give Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I will not hate you no matter what you tell me. Besides, knowing you, whatever it is probably isn't your fault anyhow."

_That's what Gerda told me. Maybe Anna will think the same thing._ "I…knew there was a storm coming and I…didn't warn them. I was scared of being…put in the dungeon again, but mostly I just…wanted two weeks of freedom…_I killed them, Anna!_" Elsa crossed her arms around her middle and backed away a little. "I'll still understand if…you think I'm…horrible now..."

Anna frowned, thinking over what Elsa had just told her. _Elsa did that because she thinks the shipwreck was her fault?! She's gotta be kidding! Not only do I know for certain Mom and Dad wouldn't have believed her, those two reasons are completely legit. Good grief. _"Number one: Mom and Dad would not have believed you. Number two: Those reasons for not giving the warning are very, very legit in my mind. And number three…um, Elsa…do you remember just who suggested for you to not give storm warnings anymore in the first place?"

Elsa risked a glance at her sister. "You did…" _Anna did tell me that. She's right._

"Yep! So if it's anyone's fault, it's mine," Anna announced. "Except it's really _no one's_ fault. Come on, let's go get breakfast."

_Anna took the fault away from both of us…Ingenious._ Elsa still couldn't quite absolve herself from the whole thing entirely, but she felt much better. No, nothing she did was going to bring her parents back. Yes, maybe she should have given the warning. But if she had, she would have ended up in the dungeon for two weeks, and the exact same outcome would have occurred. _It didn't matter what I did; the shipwreck was going to happen anyway._ "Okay, Anna, let's go get breakfast. Your sister is finished with her introspection." Elsa smiled a bit at Anna, and the two of them headed downstairs.

* * *

><p>At breakfast, Elsa was irritated when there was only a spoon by her place setting. "Gerda…I think you forgot the rest of my utensils," she announced, sounding just a bit miffed. When she didn't receive a reply, Elsa added, "I'm <em>not<em> going to do anything! Good grief, you and Anna are right in front of me. Wouldn't that be a rather stupid thing to do on my part right now, even if I wanted to, which I don't?"

Gerda frowned at her, not liking that rather dark logic even if it _was_ true, and just said, "You eat cereal with a spoon, do you not, princess?"

"Well, yes…" Elsa briefly thought that maybe she would just use her authority to get the other utensils; then changed her mind. _I'm not going to abuse my authority just for that._ She sighed and began eating her cereal. "Thank you for breakfast, Gerda."

"Elsa, d'you think maybe we could…have a talk together when we're done eating?" Anna asked.

Elsa stiffened in her seat. _What on earth does Anna want to talk about?_ "It…depends on what we're going to be talking about," she replied.

"How's about we start talking and if you don't wanna talk anymore, we stop?" Anna offered.

"That sounds fair." Elsa relaxed a little and finished her breakfast. She stood up from the table and said, "I'm going to be in the study upstairs, all right? I probably should…try to send a sensible reply to Weselton, I suppose." _I really don't want to deal with that right now, but I need to._

* * *

><p>The second Elsa was out of the dining hall, Gerda said, "Princess Anna, please hurry up and finish eating. I would rather your sister not be alone at all right now, and she likes being with you. If I stay around her, she feels like I'm fussing over her needlessly."<p>

Anna stuffed her last bit of cereal in her mouth and jumped up. "Sure, of course. I don't want Elsa alone either! She needs people to stand by her and support her and whatnot…" She made a face before adding, "…'specially after what she tried to do yesterday. And yet, like, I kinda sorta understand why she did it. Mom and Dad hurt Elsa on the inside for so long she hasn't got anything good to think about herself anymore. Is it rotten that I think it's mostly-actually probably _all_-their fault that Elsa tried that? I do genuinely miss them and stuff, but…I don't know, somehow I'm more concerned about Elsa right now." Anna began biting a fingernail as she kept thinking. "And oh, oops, I just remembered I oughta be with Elsa right now instead of rambling. Sorry, Gerda!" She took off in the direction of the study.

* * *

><p>Elsa jumped in surprise when she heard the door open to the study, and a thin sheen of frost appeared under her feet where she was sitting at the desk. "Anna, wait a minute, please!" she said frantically. <em>Great, just great. How am I going to explain that?!<em>

Anna had already waltzed into the room, but she didn't notice Elsa's little power mistake. "C'mon, Elsa, I wanna talk to you! Want to come to my room? I like having you in there…you know, 'cause it used to be both of us's."

Elsa looked down at the floor. _I know, Anna. I like being in there too…I wish it was still 'both of us's', horrible grammar or not._ "I'm sorry I ruined our relationship…sisters aren't supposed to abandon each other like I did to you," she whispered. "You have a horrible sister, Anna…" Elsa buried her head in her crossed arms on top of the desk. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel. You can't lose control in front of Anna, Elsa._ She flinched when Anna touched her shoulder, but she didn't otherwise protest.

"Elsa, it's all right. We can fix that," Anna told her. "And you are the absolute farthest thing from horrible. The _only_ horrible thing about you is the way you think about yourself. You've gotta stop thinking of yourself like you do."

"But I'm defec-"

"_No_, Elsa. You are most definitely not," Anna interrupted. "You come on to my room now. You can finish whatever letter thing you're doing later."

_Well, yeah, I guess I could… _Elsa followed Anna down the hall to her room.

* * *

><p>Anna flopped on the floor in the middle of her room. "C'mon, Elsa, you sit too!"<p>

"Okay." Elsa just sat on the floor a little ways from her sister. _What am I supposed to say?_

Anna relieved Elsa of the problem of not knowing what to say. "So, like I said, I wanted to have a talk with you about something."

Elsa frowned. "About what?"

"Just that, well, I've been thinking…I know this wasn't the first time you thought about trying that, just the first time it got that far. But before I couldn't talk to you or anything. So maybe, if you feel yourself starting to get thoughts about anything even _remotely_ about trying that again, you can tell me right away and then I'll try to make you feel better and make the icky depressing thoughts go away. What do you think, Elsa?"

Elsa couldn't resist Anna's hopeful grin. _That actually does sound like a good idea to me. _"I think that sounds like a very good idea."

"Awesome!" Anna was surprised but happy that Elsa agreed that quickly.

"There's just one thing, Anna…" Elsa paused before continuing, "It's just that…well, I don't want to end up dumping my problems on you…I don't want to be a bother. You shouldn't have to worry about fixing your sister's thought processes just because there's something wrong with her. It's not worth your time."

"Elsa, you wouldn't be 'dumping' anything on me or being a bother," Anna said firmly. "Why would I have offered in the first place then, Miss I-Always-Like-To-Be-Logical?"

Elsa smiled a bit at that. _True. Anna wouldn't have said that in the first place if she thought that. Anna's awesome._

"And no, I should not have to worry about fixing your thought processes, BUT ONLY 'CAUSE THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH 'EM IN THE FIRST PLACE! There is nothing wrong with you. I like you just the way you are, Elsa. You're my sister. Well, you could lose the awful depressing tendencies, yes. But other than that, you're perfect just being _you_. Oh yeah, and on the contrary to 'not worth your time', you are ALWAYS worth my time and then some." An idea popped into Anna's head, and she added, "Repeat after me: 'Anna loves Elsa because she deserves it.'"

Elsa shook her head. _Is she kidding me?! I can't say that._ "Anna, I…oh, never mind! I can't say that…it's not…true…"

Anna scrambled over to Elsa and laid a hand on her shoulder. "You don't gotta say it right now, but it _is_ true." She was determined not to push Elsa away again by trying to get her back to her old happy eight-year-old self too fast, too soon. "So if you're not going to say it, I'm going to tell you again. Anna loves Elsa 'cause she deserves it."

This time Elsa found herself mouthing the sentence along with her sister. The words felt funny and out of place on her tongue. _Anna loves Elsa 'cause she deserves it. Anna loves…_me_…'cause _I_…deserve it?_ _Could it be true, maybe a little? _"It can't be true," she whispered. Elsa pulled her knees to her chest. _I've _never_ been a good sister to Anna. Not since I hurt her when I was eight. I'm just an accident waiting to happen, and that incident when we were little just proves it._

"Elsa, it is too true. I love you, and you _do_ deserve it. You've spent way, way, way too long thinking you're worthless and hating yourself and whatever else. You can't do that anymore. I'm right here for you. _Always._" Anna paused, then added, "Ooh, I know! Tell me something about yourself you like, and concentrate on that!"

Elsa thought for a long minute before saying, "My sense of humor. I like it because it makes you laugh."

Anna resisted the urge to frown at Elsa's reasoning for choosing that particular thing. "Ok, that's a start. How about something you like about yourself that doesn't have anything to do with me?"

Elsa struggled to think of _something_, but she couldn't come up with anything. She glanced at her gloved hands and made a face. All she could think of right that moment was _I'm defective because I have ice powers I can't control and hurt Anna with when we were little._ "I'm sorry, Anna…I can't think of anything," Elsa admitted finally.

"Well, _I_ can think of lots of things. You're responsible. You have this great vocabulary-I've heard you say words I don't even know. You're pretty. You have really nice penmanship-I've seen it. You-"

"Okay, okay, Anna, that's enough," Elsa said, smiling. "I suppose I would agree with most of those things…except for me being pretty. I'm _okay_ looking, I guess, but I'm not going to make somebody drop dead with my looks. Average eighteen-year-old girl looks, hmm?" She hopped to her feet and went over to Anna's mirror. "Yes, I see an average-looking eighteen-year-old." _Except for that_, she thought, clasping her gloved hands behind her back out of sight of her reflection. Elsa stuck out her tongue at her reflection, making Anna giggle.

Anna went to stand next to her sister, making sure not to get too close. "You wanna know what _I_ see in the mirror right now?" Without waiting for a reply, she continued, "I see a pretty girl who picks on herself way too much and can be a bit pessimistic. I see my sweet older sister who's gonna be a great ruler for Arendelle. And then I see that girl's goofy little sister who loves her like crazy, is stubborn and impulsive, and is _always_ gonna be there for her sister. So yeah. That's what I see in the mirror."

Elsa suddenly remembered another time the two of them stood in front of this exact same mirror together when this room had belonged to both her and Anna. _'Nothing's ever gonna get between us,' seven-year-old Elsa vowed. 'Nothing but air,' four-year-old Anna replied. _Without considering what she was doing, Elsa slipped her hand into Anna's like her seven-year-old self had done.

"Whoa, Elsa, you just held my hand!" Anna blurted happily. A moment later, Elsa's gloved hand grew deathly cold and Anna frowned. "Elsa, why in the world is your hand so crazy stinking cold all of a sudden?"

Elsa's eyes grew wide and she immediately tried to yank her hand away from Anna. But Anna didn't let go, and Elsa's glove slipped off, making her feel even more frightened than she already did. Elsa clutched her bare hand to her chest and began backing away from her sister. _What was I thinking?! I touched Anna! What if I had frozen her hand or something? You're a thoughtless idiot, Elsa. You aren't that naïve little seven-year-old anymore. If you can't keep yourself from doing stupid things, then you need to go back to your room, Elsa._ "I need to go, Anna," she said quietly. Elsa turned and ran out of Anna's room back down to the hall to her own room. _What on earth was I thinking?_ "I wasn't thinking. That's the problem," she muttered to herself.

When Anna knocked on her door a minute later, Elsa bit her lip before replying, "I can't come out right now, but I'll see you at dinner." Elsa sighed. _This has to be the right thing to do…I can't spend all day with Anna all the time. It's too risky. I almost hurt her again this time, and I still had my gloves on. Stupid me…_

"Are you getting the icky depressing thoughts again or something, Elsa?" Anna asked in concern.

"No, Anna…it's…never mind, I can't explain. But I promise you it's not that," Elsa answered truthfully. _Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Conceal, don't feel. Elsa, you aren't going to lose Anna completely again. You can talk to her at meals and through the door. Calm down._

Now Anna was confused. "Why in the world can't you come out? You can't get in trouble for it-you're in charge!"

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, but a single tear trickled down her cheek anyway. _I know I'm in charge. It has NOTHING to do with that! I just don't want to hurt you again. _"I'm just trying to protect you," she said softly.

_Not again. Please not again. _"Elsa, you're just hurting yourself by staying in there. You aren't going to hurt me. I _know_ you won't," Anna told her. She debated on opening Elsa's door, but decided against it, since she'd promised not to invade her sister's privacy.

Elsa didn't answer for a while. _Yeah, I am hurting myself, but I'd rather hurt myself than hurt you. So I'm staying in here. I spent ten years in complete isolation; I can deal with it now. At least I can talk to you through the door now. I can come out _sometimes_. I just can't spend time with you like I should be able to. _"I'm sorry, Anna…I'm really, really sorry."

**A/N: Sorry for the depressing chapter ending...:/ Anyway, if it's not clear, Elsa's near-mistake scared her from getting too close to Anna anymore, so she's decided to stay in her room most of the time, but eat her meals downstairs and talk to Anna through the door. So yeah...**

**Next chapter coming soon!:) It might be a bit longer than usual though because I have school stuff I need to catch up with-_- And I gotta do another one-shot for when Elsa and Anna are little:)**

**P.S. WHO'S EXCITED FOR FROZEN FEVER?! I'm going to see it either tomorrow or Saturday 'cause my sis and I are going to go see Cinderella.;) Did anyone buy the Frozen Fever junior novelization book? I did...and got fussed at for buying a book 'that's for eight-year-olds'.-_- Well...I don't care what they're going to say;) (Bad movie reference, huh?:P)**


	25. Misunderstandings

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**CieloFede-Thanks for reviewing!:) That's a nice compliment...*jumps around like a crazy person*MY STORY MAKES THE MOST SENSE! YAY!*calms down* (don't ask, sometimes I am crazyXD) I think I told you this via PM already, but I'll make sure to put that in the sequel to 'Adventures of Elsa and Anna':)**

**ACC123456789-Lol, I did get to see it last...Thursday, I believe? (Or was it Friday?:P) Anyway, IT WAS SO CUTE! I really, really liked Frozen Fever3:)**

**Fatten Saad-Here's the next update!;):)**

**olaf99-Lol, that's true.:P Elsa DOES go into the secret passages near the end of this chapter...:) Thanks!:) I'm surprised I got this chapter typed up even this soon...I still have a whole bunch of school stuff to do-_-:/ :P**

**princessdianaofparadiseisland-Yeah, well...:/ That IS true, and it happens in this chapter:P **

**On to the story!:)**

Elsa stuck with her plan as the weeks and then months passed. Even though she was only seeing Anna at mealtimes and talking to her through the door, Elsa was still happier than she had been before the shipwreck. _I know it's rotten to feel this way, but I'm glad I can at least talk to Anna without getting in trouble, _she thought one December morning, which happened to be Anna's birthday. Elsa realized with a slightly bitter edge that she would have been much, much happier during those previous ten years if she had simply been allowed to _talk_ to her sister. No, it wasn't the same as seeing Anna face to face, and she still couldn't give Anna a hug or anything; but at least she wasn't completely isolated and lonely anymore. Just talking to Anna was enough to make Elsa happier.

The only trouble with the new situation was that the longer Elsa continued with it, Anna began sounding impatient and irritated when she talked to Elsa. And Elsa had no idea how to explain to Anna why she stayed in her room so much. Anna _knew_ Elsa didn't actually _want_ to shut her sister out, but Elsa had no logical explanation, which irritated both of them to no end.

So the two girls were beginning to grow apart again, despite their talks through the door. Those two/three weeks they had spent together drifted into the few happy but seemingly irretrievable memories Elsa had. _At least I had a _little_ bit of happy time with Anna. I'll just concentrate on that._

"Elsa…today's my birthday, so I was wondering if, you know, you'd come out, at least for today?" Anna asked from out in the hall.

Elsa bit her lip. _Surely I can make it through one day…I owe Anna that. She might be irritated with me, but she hasn't forgotten me._ "Okay…only for today." She quickly went to the door (Elsa was very happy she had her lock back now) and went into the hall with Anna. "Happy birthday, Anna."

"Thanks, Elsa." Anna reached to touch her sister's shoulder, but Elsa backed out of reach.

_I almost hurt her before…I can't let Anna touch me again._ Another voice niggled in her head, _You aren't going to hurt Anna if she just touches your shoulder and that's it. It'll be fine. But what if it isn't?_ the negative thoughts told her. Elsa's mind argued back and forth as she completely zoned out from reality. Finally, Elsa realized what was really happening.

"Earth to Elsa!" Anna said for the umpteenth time, gently shaking Elsa's shoulders.

"Anna, get away from me!" _Not safe…not safe… _Elsa backed away from her sister right into the hallway wall. _I suppose the negative side of my mind must have won, _she thought absently. Elsa's heart twisted when she saw Anna's hurt expression. "I'm sorry, Anna…I'm so, so sorry!" She darted back into her room and locked the door. _Conceal, don't feel…conceal, don't feel. I hurt Anna's feelings. She probably feels like I did when Mom and Dad yanked her away from me during the hurricane and we were all in the cellar that one time._ Elsa buried her face in her hands and cried as snowflakes began falling around her. Hurting Anna was the absolute last thing on earth Elsa wanted to do. She could deal with herself getting hurt, but not Anna. _I wonder if Anna made that hurt, sad expression every time I told her to go away all that time._

"Elsa, please come out! I won't try to touch you again if you don't want me to!" Anna was confused; Elsa had let her touch her shoulder lots of times before, so what was the problem now? _Another step backward_, she thought sadly. How could Anna help Elsa feel better and more like her old self if she was reverting back to her old ways?

Elsa took a deep breath. "Just…give me a few minutes…I'm coming. I'm sorry I'm messing up your birthday. Again." _Calm down, Elsa. Calm down. You have to spend your sister's own birthday with her. You've missed enough of them. Make the snowflakes stop falling._ She wiped her eyes and started pacing. The falling snowflakes followed her, much to her dismay. _Why won't they go away?!_

* * *

><p>Outside in the hall, Anna wondered what to do. She knew Elsa was upset about something, although she didn't know what. <em>I shouldn't make Elsa feel like she's forced to come out. That probably hurts her just as much as staying in there all the time does, 'cause she thinks <em>I'm_ hurt and upset too. Which is kinda true, but I can't do that to Elsa. _"It's ok if you don't wanna come out," Anna said. "I won't bother you anymore."

Elsa misinterpreted that comment to mean that Anna didn't want her around anymore. _But I like you bothering me. Please don't hate me. I'll understand if you do, but I can't deal with it. _She went to sit in the window seat and said nothing. Elsa bit her lip and blinked back tears. All she'd wanted was a few minutes by herself before she spent the one day with Anna. _It was too much. I've shut Anna out for too long._

The rest of that day was horrible for both Elsa and Anna. Both of them thought that the other just didn't want to be with her, and it hurt.

* * *

><p>By spring, Elsa and Anna still hadn't said a word to each other aside from a 'Good morning' or 'Good night' at a meal. Finally Elsa couldn't stand it any longer. Early one morning, she ran down the hall to Anna's room and stuck a letter under her door. Letters were safe.<p>

Elsa felt much better when she arrived back in her room. _There. Maybe Anna will reply. I can't expect her to, but I hope she does._

Anna found Elsa's letter an hour and a half later when she woke up after she got dressed. "A letter from Elsa?" she questioned. She quickly unfolded it and started reading. _'Dear Anna, I'm so, so sorry for what I did on your birthday last year. I know you thought you were bothering me, but I _like_ you bothering me. I do understand completely if you hate me now, but-'_ Here Anna squinted, trying to read what Elsa had crossed out. _'-but I don't know if I can deal with it. I'm sorry I'm a useless, defective sister to you.' _ Anna's eyes filled with tears as she realized exactly what Elsa must have thought. _She thought I didn't want her around anymore. Oh, Elsa…_ Anna blinked a few times; then continued reading. _'I know I act like an unpredictable dummy all the time, but I do love you and care about you. I just don't want to hurt you. I really, truly miss that short time we had together, but that wasn't safe. I'm dangerous…I could have hurt you. What I did was selfish. I just wanted to really be just two normal sisters together again, but we can't. I wanted to fix everything, but I couldn't. Your sister is a failure. I'm really, really sorry. For everything. Can you forgive me, Anna? Please? Your sister, Elsa.'_

Anna clutched Elsa's apology letter close. "Elsa thinks I hate her, that I don't want her around," she whispered. "She still thinks she's dangerous and defective…" _What did Mom and Dad do to her? Actually, I know exactly what happened to her. Elsa got mistreated for so long she thinks that's the way she's supposed to be treated, that those things are true. How can I help Elsa if she won't come out of that room? She wants to fix things but genuinely believes she can't._ Anna had no idea what to do, but she could at least tell Elsa the truth. She took off down the hall and knocked on Elsa's door.

* * *

><p>Inside her room, Elsa was hesitantly hopeful when she heard Anna's signature knock. <em>Maybe Anna understands, at least a little bit.<em>

"Elsa, I got your letter. I just wanted you to know I do NOT hate you. I DO want you around. I thought you wanted to be left alone that day, that's all. It was not because I didn't want you there," Anna said.

Elsa smiled a little. "You don't hate me? Even though I can't fix everything?"

"I do not hate you, and I never will," Anna replied sincerely. "I might be a bit mad at you sometimes," she continued, trying to be honest, "but I do _NOT_ hate you. I love you, and I always will. Although I still don't understand why you can't just come out. I know you still think you're dangerous and defective and whatever else, but it IS NOT true."

_But it is true. Anna doesn't know what's wrong with me,_ Elsa thought, backing away from the sharp icicles that had somehow appeared on the floor. _And those things prove it. Where did those icicles come from?! I wasn't _that_ upset, just a little._ Elsa yelped as she backed into something and tripped, landing hard on the floor. "Ow!" she exclaimed. _I hate this. What did I do now? Fell on my own ice. Clumsy._

"Elsa, are you all right in there? What happened?" Anna asked.

Elsa slowly got to her feet and glared angrily at the icicles. She was fine; her ankle was a bit sore, but it wasn't killing her to walk on it or anything. "I'm fine. I just slipped and fell."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Elsa answered. _Get out of here, icicles. Nobody wants you here. You keep me away from my sister. You make me dangerous. You made me hurt Anna!_ "But…that's _part_ of me! It's really all my fault!" she exclaimed, feeling contemptuously disgusted about her own self. Elsa stared down at the icicles on the floor as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can't do anything about it! It doesn't matter what I do…I'm still dangerous…defective…monster…aberrant freak…I CAN'T FIX IT!" Suddenly Elsa felt just plain angry. If she couldn't fix anything, then why should she try any longer? In a flash, her gloves were tossed in a corner and her hair was pulled down in a single braid down her back. _This is me_, she thought, looking at herself in the mirror. _Or wait, no it isn't._ Elsa suddenly remembered something that she had done when she was little. Something she had gotten in trouble for at the time. She closed her eyes, trying to remember exactly how she had done it. _I just kinda spun around and it happened…I thought I was making snowflakes. Well, I don't care. I'm doing it now. So there._ Elsa spun around and thought snowflakes. She was rewarded with a burst of snow from each palm. _That wasn't right. I'm trying something different._ Elsa's bare hands flew to her shoulders, and she started thinking 'dress' as she dropped her hands down her skirt to the floor. Now she smiled. _It worked! It really, really worked!_ Her navy blue dress was now a sparkling blue…_thing_ that exposed her shoulders and cascaded in a twirl to the floor.

_Ice-dress,_ she thought, looking in the mirror once again. _That's what Mom and Dad called it. Well, you know what? This is me. I'm still defective and dangerous and whatever else, but that girl in the mirror is who I really am. I actually _like_ the way that girl looks, abnormal or no. She looks pretty and…invincible, like nothing could ever bother her. _"Except that's not me, either," Elsa said to herself, crossing her arms around her middle as she turned away from the mirror. "I'm not invincible. _Everything _bothers me. My own self bothers me."

* * *

><p>Anna still stood outside Elsa's door, listening, hoping Elsa would say something that would give her a clue as to what was going on. <em>What's Elsa's fault? What can't she do anything about? And she went and called herself all those names…Again. What's 'not Elsa either'? <em>Anna was just more confused than ever. Nothing she heard Elsa say made sense to her.

* * *

><p>Elsa wished she knew how to get rid of that sparkly blue ice-dress, but a tiny part of her actually wanted to keep it. To remind her of the actually nice things she could make because of what she considered her disability. To remind her that she had, at one time, been able to control it and therefore should be able to again eventually. She remembered what five-year-old Anna had told her when she'd seen Elsa's creation. <em>'I think Elsa looks pretty. Kinda grown-up. And sparkly.'<em> "I wish I could-" Elsa's voice cracked, and she finished her sentence in her head instead. _I wish I could show Anna. But Anna won't want to know. I hurt her when we were little…I _should _tell her…she deserves to know. At least she would know why I act the way I do._ She ran over to the door and said, "Anna…are you still there?"

"Yeah!" Anna said excitedly. "What is it?"

Elsa bit her lip and clasped her hands together. _This is it. My worst secret…_ "Anna, I…I, um…that is…" _Tell her, Elsa. Just one sentence. 'I have ice powers I can't control.' That's it._

"Elsa?" Anna asked. "Go on…" she prompted.

Elsa tried again. "Anna, I have i-" she started to say. _I can't do it. What if Anna hates me? What if she wants to lock me in the dungeon like Mom and Dad did because of it? What if she's scared of me? I can't lose Anna entirely again. I'd probably die or go crazy. Literally._

"Elsa, whatever it is, it's all right. Go ahead and say it," Anna said softly. _I won't hate you no matter what it is. Elsa, you have i- WHAT?_

"Anna…I have i-" Elsa was shaking all over, her eyes scrunched tightly shut, as she tried once again to tell Anna. "I-I…I have…" _I can't do it. What's wrong with me? Why is it so impossible to say seven simple words? _"ANNA, I CAN'T TELL YOU!" she finally exploded. "There's something seriously wrong with me that can't be cured and I…and I can't tell you what it is!"

Anna frowned. "What on earth could possibly be so wrong with you that you're too terrified to tell me what it is?"

"You'd be surprised," Elsa said quietly.

"Elsa, I wouldn't care even if you had some disease that was deathly contagious. Which I know you don't, but anyways… You'd still just be my sweet older sister. I don't know what…certain people told you, but I don't care what it is; you should not have been mistreated like you were for ten years. It was _wrong_," Anna said firmly. "And just for argument's sake…let's just there _was_ something seriously wrong with you that couldn't be cured. That just makes the way you were treated all the worse."

"But I…I think I deserved it," Elsa whispered from inside her room. _I hurt Anna. What was I thinking, going off making a stupid ice-dress like I did when I was little, even if it is pretty? I don't even know how to get rid of it._

Anna clenched her hands into angry fists. _Elsa's gotta be kidding. She did NOT deserve that. AT. ALL. _She'd been trying to make Elsa feel better, but it didn't seem to be working. An idea suddenly popped into Anna's head, one that didn't try to make Elsa think differently about herself, but would make her question the way she had been treated in the past at least. "Elsa…answer this then. You keep saying there's something seriously wrong with you that can't be cured. If _you_ knew a young girl who was seriously ill or disabled or whatever, would you lock her in her room, chain her in the dungeon, or keep her from talking to her sister?"

"No…" Elsa said softly.

"So what would you do with her?" Anna prompted.

Elsa thought for a minute before saying, "I don't know. If she'd let me, I'd hold her and give her a hug." _That's what I want. And I can't have it._ "And tell her that everything would be fine eventually. That I still cared about her even if she was messed up. That she was perfectly fine just the way she was. I'd try to make sure she felt…accepted. Normal." _What on earth did I just blather at Anna?! Those are all things I wish Mom and Dad had done for me. _Elsa's eyes welled with tears, and she roughly wiped them away. _Quit crying, Elsa. You know it's not the same thing for you. You're dangerous. _Another thought popped into her head, _But they didn't _really _accept or approve of me even before the accident. And I did know how to control it then. Why can't I control it now?_

Anna bit her lip, determined not to start screaming or bawling or something. _Elsa just told me what she herself wants. She gave herself away, probably completely unwittingly, when she said '_If she'd let me,_ I'd hold her and give her a hug.' Why did Mom and Dad treat her like they did? How did they not realize they were hurting her all that time?! Because it's way obvious to me. And Elsa was only eight when all this started. EIGHT! She was just a little girl! All she wanted was her own family to love and accept her, and Mom and Dad took that away from her. Elsa is _still_ hurting inside, even now that they're gone. I know she knows I care about her, but she still thinks she doesn't deserve any better than what she got for the last ten years. _Anna finally replied, "Then Elsa, don't you think you ought to be treated the same way like you just said?"

Elsa's legs suddenly buckled under her and she collapsed to the floor. _Anna, you just…tried the logic thing on me, but you missed one thing. If I were terminally ill or couldn't walk or something, I still wouldn't be dangerous. That's my problem. My disability made me hurt Anna. I could have killed her! _"No, I don't," she answered after a long pause.

"Why ever not?" Anna asked in surprise. _I thought for sure that would work._

"Because I'm dangerous, Anna!" Elsa exclaimed. "Look, if I couldn't walk or something, that'd be different. I wish that _was_ what was wrong with me, actually…at least then I could safely spend time with you…" she trailed off.

"Elsa…" Anna paused, wondering what to say. _What on earth do I say to her? She just told me she wished she couldn't walk instead of…whatever she's convinced is wrong with her, just so she could spend time with me._

After a long silence, Elsa finally said, "See, Anna? Even you, the eternal Miss Optimist, can't come up with anything. I'm a lost cause."

Anna thought for a moment before saying, "Open the door in five minutes, Elsa, or I'm going to pick the lock. And I mean it." _I need to see her. And not at dinner._

Elsa figuratively froze before frantically taking off that ice-dress and sticking it _way_ in the back of her closet before putting on one of her regular dresses and pulling her gloves back on. She knew Anna meant what she said. _Okay, calm down, Elsa. You can talk to Anna for a minute. _Elsa went to her door and took a deep breath before opening the door. "Here I am, Anna."

Before Elsa could protest, Anna grabbed her and hugged her close. "I don't care what's wrong with you or what you think is wrong with you. _I_ care about you, Elsa. What happened to you was wrong. You deserve better. Ok, I'll stop terrorizing you with hugs now," Anna finished and finally stepped away from Elsa.

Elsa was still reeling a bit from the sudden hug from Anna. "Too…much for me…what if I hurt you?" she asked, holding her hands close to her chest. _Anna cares about…me…_

"Did you even hear anything I said?" Anna asked, frowning a bit.

Elsa nodded but said nothing. _Yeah, I did. But you still don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm too chicken to tell you what it is. Why can't I tell her?_

"Well, it's true, Elsa. And one more thing…even if you were dangerous, which I don't believe in the least, I know it wouldn't be your fault. So I wouldn't care. I'd love you lots anyway," Anna told her.

"You…would?" Elsa tilted her head to one side, considering what her sister had just told her. "You wouldn't think I'm a…a…monster?" Elsa's pained blue eyes gazed at Anna, wanting to hope for a positive answer but not quite daring to.

Anna could see the long-standing hurt in her sister's eyes. _What has she been told and convinced that I don't know about? _"_No,_ Elsa, I would most certainly not think you're a monster," she said firmly. She slowly reached for Elsa's shoulder, giving Elsa a chance to back away if she wanted to. Elsa didn't. Anna gently laid her hand on her sister's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Can't you tell me what's the matter? I _promise_ I'm not going to hate you for whatever it is."

Elsa opened her mouth to say something; then clamped it shut again. She closed her eyes and thought for a minute. _I should tell her. But what if…what if Anna doesn't want me around anymore? I'm quite sure she wouldn't expect my real problem at all. She just thinks I have something I only _think_ is wrong with me. _"Anna, I…I can't tell you right now. Maybe someday, but not today. I'm just…not ready…" _Once I figure out how to control it, if I do, I can tell Anna. At least then I wouldn't be a danger to her._

"Ok, Elsa. You can try telling me another time." Anna sighed, but she didn't press the issue. _I wish Elsa would just tell me. There probably isn't anything wrong with her in the first place anyway._

Elsa gave Anna just a hint of a smile and said, "Thank you for not…trying to make me explain." Then she darted back in her room and locked the door. _Why am I such a stupid scaredy-cat? I really should tell her…I'm being selfish because I'm scared of what Anna's reaction would be._

Anna stuck out her tongue at Elsa's door. _Why did Elsa just disappear like that? Dumb door. I want my sister! _"I guess I'll see you at dinner then?" Anna asked.

"I'll see you at dinner," Elsa repeated. _Anna, I really, really appreciate you still being willing to talk to me._

"I love you, Elsa," Anna said.

_Me, too. I love you too, Anna. _Elsa smiled a bit from the other side of the door and said nothing.

* * *

><p>By summer, the two of them talked more at meals, although Elsa still retreated into her room or the study the rest of the time. Anna wished Elsa would start opening up more and, quite honestly, was growing irritated about the whole thing; but she tried her best not to sound irritated when she did get to talk to Elsa. She didn't want to risk hurting Elsa's feelings when she was quite sure that her sister's fragile emotional state-Anna refused to call it Elsa's personality since it was <em>not<em> Elsa's happy self-probably couldn't take it. So Anna kept her irritation to herself.

For her part, Elsa actually did know that Anna was becoming a bit irritated with her, but she didn't blame Anna one bit. _I'd be irritated with me, too._ But she let Anna continue thinking that she didn't know that Anna was irritated with her, since she knew Anna didn't mean for her to know.

* * *

><p>Elsa's nineteenth birthday would have come and gone uneventfully if she hadn't found Certain Things delivered to what was now <em>her<em> desk in the study. She ripped open the first letter. _My eyes must be deceiving me, right? _she thought.

She reread the letter.

Opened the next one.

Read that one twice.

Opened the third one.

Read that one twice.

"THEY HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" she exploded finally. _No, no, no! No way am I doing that. Even if I wasn't…messed up, I would not agree to that._ She had received letters like these before, but never three on the same day, and never ones so annoyingly insistent.

Anna heard Elsa's shouting and came knocking on the study door. "Can I come in, Elsa? What's the matter?"

Elsa strode to the door, willing herself to stay calm, and threw the door open. "Hi, Anna," she snapped.

"Whoa, what's got you all unruffled?" Anna asked. _She can't be mad at me 'cause she was mad before she let me in._

"This!" Elsa balled up one letter and threw it across the room to Anna. "And this!" she threw the second one "and this!" she threw the third one. "What do they think I am, a stupid, simpering idiot girl who swoons and falls in a dead faint at the thought of getting married?! I might be helpless to fix most things, but I do _not_ need that kind of help!"

Anna smoothed out one of the letters and immediately knew what had irritated her sister so much. She couldn't help but start giggling.

"It's not funny! I'm not accepting any _arranged marriages_ for political reasons! I wouldn't do that even if I were normal and not messed up," Elsa said firmly. "Aw, the poor little girl has lost her parents and needs a shoulder to cry on and help governing her kingdom!" she exclaimed sarcastically. "Well, I _don't_; I'm fine on my own and just because I'm a young single girl does not mean I can't take care of my country! If and when I need help, my sister can give me any assistance I need. So there."

Anna didn't quite understand Elsa's suddenly volatile mood. "Elsa…usually girls from a royal family your age _are_ already betrothed or married. You're nineteen, not nine…And besides, maybe a romance would be good for you!" Anna suddenly became more animated, thinking that maybe Elsa _should_ accept one of those marriage/betrothal offers. In books Anna had read, if the girl was upset, lots of times a guy would come sweep her off her feet and make her happy again. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea, Elsa! Maybe you could fall in love and live happily ever after!" she exclaimed, ever the diehard romantic.

Elsa made a face. _Anna is crazy! What does she think this is, a fairy tale? Blech on the romance scene is what I say. _"Anna, not only am I…messed up and defective and therefore not safe for anyone to be around, let alone get married to; arranged marriages are not going to come out like something you read in a book. The guy could be a creep. He could be abusive. He could be disagreeable, bossy, _anything_. I have no way of knowing. And most importantly, what if I don't agree with things he wants to do politically for Arendelle? I will not relinquish my authority to someone I don't even know or trust. Just no. Absolutely not. I can mess things up enough on my own, thank you very much." She paused and then added, "I'm still highly insulted that they think a girl needs to get married 'for the good of her kingdom' because she's 'still mourning her late parents' and is 'only a young girl, anyway'. Allow me to throw up now. I've done my grieving in my own way, and it has not affected my ability or non-ability to take care of Arendelle properly. Well, it doesn't _now…_" _Other things affect my ruling capabilities, but being a young girl isn't one of them._

"You didn't go to the funeral service," Anna pointed out. "What are people supposed to think? That wasn't the norm thing for you to do…And lemme just say your 'grieving in your own way' was a rotten, stupid way to deal with things and involved trying to commit s-"

Elsa jerked backwards as though she had been slapped. "_Don't_ finish that," she interrupted. "Just _don't_." She had no idea what to think. How could Anna throw that in her face? And on the other hand, didn't Anna have the right to do that?

Anna clamped her mouth shut when she realized what she'd just been snapping at her sister. She was more than a little annoyed though that Elsa had completely shot down her ideas for romance…and besides, how could Elsa know any more about such things than Anna did? Both of them had been cooped up in the castle since they were little. "How are you going to have an heir then?" Anna said finally.

Elsa was cut to the quick by Anna's previous comments, and now Anna was just saying a snarky question to her as a comeback. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._ Elsa closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "You are next in line to the throne, Anna. I needn't worry about having an heir at present. Go read up on Queen Elizabeth I. She never got married."

"What if something happened to me? Then what would you do? Make Rapunzel next in line to Arendelle's throne?"

_And why not? _"Get out, Anna. Get out of this room. Now," Elsa said in a tone so quiet it seemed a bit menacing. _Conceal, don't feel; conceal, don't feel._

"I still think-"

"_Out! _Before I end up doing something I don't want to do!" Elsa glared at Anna and pointed at the door.

Now Anna was thoroughly angry. "Just what are you going to do, _Queen_ Elsa? Put me in the d-"

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. "Do you really think I would do that to you?" she whispered miserably. _Calm down, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel. It's nothing like that, Anna. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you._ Without waiting for Anna's reply, she added, "I need to go," and dashed for the door, hoping she could make it to her room before losing control.

"Elsa, wait!" Anna exclaimed, finally realizing that she had told Elsa the absolute worst things she could have said. _Oops. Big, big oops. Me and my big mouth._

Elsa slowly turned back toward Anna. "Don't bother. If that's the way you really feel about me, it's fine. You only spoke the truth," she said quietly. "Except about the dungeon. I would _never_ do that." She turned back to the door and ran down the hall to her own room. _Why am I so upset? Anna was right. People _are _going to think I'm incompetent since I didn't even go to the funeral. And trying to do what I did _was_ stupid and rotten. I think it was the fact that she suggested, even in jest, that I might put her in the dungeon because I was mad…that's what's so upsetting._ Elsa threw herself on her bed and cried her heart out. It _hurt_ so much that Anna had said those things to her, even in the heat of anger.

Anna felt horrible when she saw Elsa's heartbroken expression right before Elsa had run off down the hall. _I just…broke Elsa inside. Took away whatever bit of Elsa that had just barely started to heal from all those wrong feelings about herself. How could I do that to her?! I've gotta apologize. _She wished she hadn't said those things to her sister, but it was too late. You can't take words back after you say them. Anna had a sick feeling that a simple apology was _not_ going to fix everything, but she had to try.

* * *

><p>Elsa had calmed herself down some by the time she heard Anna's knock on the door a few minutes later. "Go away, Anna…" <em>Why is she knocking now?<em>

Anna bit her lip. "I just wanted to apologize, Elsa. I shouldn't have said those things to you. It was mean. I was mad and I spoke without thinking, y'know what I mean?"

"Don't patronize me, Anna. If you spoke without thinking, then deep down inside you really believe those things. What you said was the truth anyway…I was just foolish for hoping that maybe, just _maybe_, I didn't have to be a stupid, rotten abnormal freak all the time." _You were helping me feel a little bit better about myself…Not a lot, but some, just a bit. _"I didn't want to accept it. Just leave me alone." Elsa sounded completely detached from what she was talking about, aside from the slight tremor in her voice.

"Elsa…I really am sorry! I didn't mean to say those things! Everybody says things they don't mean when they're angry!"

"Didn't mean to say them because you didn't want to hurt my feelings or didn't mean to say them because you genuinely didn't mean them?" Elsa asked quietly. "Anna, things people say when they're angry are usually simple exaggerations of the truth. They _are_ partly true."

"Well, yeah, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but-"

Elsa struggled to blink away tears on the other side of the door. "The defective girl who everyone thinks is incompetent to take care of her country as well rests her case. You just admitted it out loud," she interrupted. "Anna, leave me alone. You're just making everything worse. Go away."

_But I really didn't mean them, either,_ Anna finished in her head. What was she supposed to say to Elsa? "Elsa…will I see you at dinner? It is your birthday, after all…"

"I don't know," Elsa said flatly. _Meh, I don't care whether it's my birthday or not. Nineteen, eighteen, what's the difference? I don't feel nineteen right now…I may as well be nine. And I _really_ may as well be nine. I'm still that scared, out of control little girl. Those ten years since then haven't fixed anything. This is going into ELEVEN years now. Eight…nineteen…more than a decade._

Anna sighed. _I just made her think she has to stay in her room all the time again. _"I hope you decide to come down, Elsa," she said finally.

Elsa stayed quiet. Maybe she would come down later; maybe she wouldn't. She really hadn't decided yet. _Why should I go downstairs? Does Anna even really want me there or is she just trying to make me feel better? I have no idea._ Elsa slipped into the secret passages, something she hadn't done for awhile. She just wanted to take a walk without risking running into anyone. Elsa headed straight for the entrance into the forest and slid the secret door up when she got there. _I wish I could go outside again. But I can't. There's no one to come get me this time if someone found me again. _She plopped down on the floor just inside the passage and stared outside. _I wish I hadn't heard Anna say those things. I'd have rather not known at all. 'Ignorance is bliss'…yeah, definitely true in this case._ Elsa decided if she received any more of the annoying marriage offers, she was simply going to reply, 'I must respectfully decline your offer at this time' and nothing else. Short and to the point and everyone would know she meant business.

The only real issue she had with refusing any and all offers was that she could potentially harm Arendelle's trading and economy if other nations refused to do business with her since she was, after all, a recluse young female ruler. She hadn't left the castle since she was eight; nobody would know what to make of her, whether she was knowledgeable regarding statecraft or a simpleminded girl who had authority just because of her birthright. There was also the trouble that because Elsa was just barely nineteen and therefore not of age yet, she still didn't have the absolute authority the monarch of Arendelle would have. She could conduct business, yes, but she didn't have the authority to repeal laws or put new ones in effect. It was actually rather complicated. Elsa still had to sign documents as 'Crown Princess Elsa on behalf of the late King Agdar and Queen Idun' or something else similar. If Anna asked her to open the gates, Elsa literally could not make that happen because her parents' ruling that the gates stayed closed was still in effect. Of course, Elsa supposed that she probably couldn't get in trouble for such a thing since she was still the highest-ranking person of authority in Arendelle, but the circumstances were…unique. To put it simply, Elsa was regent, ruling in her parents' stead with no actual power of her own, until she turned twenty-one.

At which time Elsa would have to have her coronation, which she was absolutely, positively _not_ looking forward to. A public ceremony, a party at the castle with tons of people…Elsa shuddered at the prospect. Luckily it was two whole years away, so she didn't have to dwell on it at the moment.

**A/N: Ok, so I made up a little bit of stuff on how Arendelle's government works:P This is _not_ based off anything I read, so if it's not like a real life absolute monarchy government should be, oh well.:) I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED FOR MOST OF HISTORY; I AM NOT HAVING ANY ARRANGED MARRIAGES! *barf* _especially_ considering that Elsa still has no idea how to control her powers at this point and really can't have anyone in the castle. And besides...there were no arranged marriages in the movie.:P Sorry Anna, your ideas of romance aren't gonna fly anywhere except your imagination:P**

**And yeah, they've kinda cooked up an awful mess between them at the moment...big, _big_ misunderstanding.:/**

**Next chapter coming soon...although like before, it'll probably be longer than usual because of school stuff.:/ :P**


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